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well today was another pointless day. i did nothing. as usual. and most of the time i enjoy that. sometimes though i begin to feel sorry for myself. eh. i cant complain. i cant belive how good im doing. i used to break down in tears at least 3 times a day. now i go days, even weeks without. im so glad i have my pills. tommy's spending the night so we can leave real early for upnorth. ugh. its gonna fuck up my up-all-night shedual. grrr. my back is killing me. i need to move around. im becoming such a lazy ass. i thought about shawn today. i mean really thought about him. i miss him so bad. i love how he always tries to make me laugh. and all that. i cant talk about him w/deby anymore cuz its annoying her. hell, like she doesnt talk about brian 24-fucking-7. sigh. oh well. well tommorow im finally finally going up north. its been awhile. i cant wait. i need to get away. real bad. that tome guy, or is it tony? um anyways, he keeps telling me hes going to rape me. and that scares me. alot. oh god. hes 24 and im kinda scared. ill hang out with justin, or shawn all summer so he'll stay away. |