|
i went to bed at 5 this morning. got up at 2. i hate when i do that. it wastes my whole day. anyways, i havent talked to deby. which makes me wonder where the hell she is. by now she should have paged me or something. maybe shes to busy with brian. hes gonna dump her. [im not saying that to be mean or jealous] but its gonna happen. and shes gonna have pushed me away. god damn. im still with james. i saw him the other day. he was with some older guy, i didnt know. maybe his cousin..? hmmm. i miss steve again. i was going to take care of those cats for that lady and i was thinking about how tommy said they talk about me and stuff. and i wondered if maybe, just maybe steve still loved me. or liked me. if i had the courage id talk to tommy about us getting back together but, i cant. i couldnt handle seeing tommy again, if steve didnt want too. ive been having these weird, very real dreams. like one i was making out with some girl. and i dont know why in the hell i would dream that. i dont think about that. and in another one, i had cancer. it was so real. i think i might be acting like this because im staying up sooo late. ill start to think and see things. its horrible. but i cant go to sleep at normal times. maybe somethings wrong. i hope not, enough has gone wrong this year.
|