- Q: What do you get if you divide the cirucmference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin Pi!

- Teacher: "Who can tell me what 7 times 6 is?"
Student: "It's 42!"

Teacher: "Very good! - And who can tell me what 6 times 7 is?"

Same student: "It's 24!"

- Q: What does the zero say to the the eight?
A: Nice belt!

- Trigonometry for farmers: swine and coswine...
- "Students nowadays are so clueless", the math professor complains to a colleague. "Yesterday, a student came to my office hours and wanted to know if General Calculus was a Roman war hero..."
- "Divide fourteen sugar cubes into three cups of coffee so that each cup has an odd number of sugar cubes in it."
"That's easy: one, one, and twelve."
"But twelve isn't odd!"

"It's an odd number of cubes to put in a cup of coffee..."

- Q: What does the little mermaid wear?
A: An algae-bra.

- A mathematician wandered home at 3 AM. His wife became very upset, telling him, "You're late! You said you'd be home by 11:45!" The mathematician replied, "I'm right on time. I said I'd be home by a quarter of twelve."
- Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven ate nine.

- Math and Alcohol don't mix, so...
PLEASE DON'T DRINK AND DERIVE

- New York (CNN). At John F. Kennedy International Airport today, a Caucasian male (later discovered to be a high school mathematics teacher) was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor and a graphical calculator. According to law enforcement officials, he is believed to have ties to the Al-Gebra network. He will be charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.