why I'm me

1. in the bathtub listening to my father telling me about this group of guys who wrote a whole bunch of music and one of them was dead

2. in the living room looking at my baby pictures and wondering if I remember being that small

3. in the cemetery looking at the tadpoles in the fountain and wanting to be a gravedigger

4. in the doctor's office hiding under a chair and growling because I didn't want a shot

5. in the Miami house not wanting to go anywhere because I was afraid of earth machines

6. in the back-seat of the Blue Cloud on the way to the hospital

7. in the backyard saying good-bye to Shawnee

8. in the zoo with Matthew examining gum on our shoes

9. in the hallway stepping in glue when my father and I re-did the floor

10. in the hospital wondering why my brother looked like E. T.

11. in the crowded back-seat of a friend's car vomiting pancakes and cherries

12. in a second grade classroom watching a girl play "Slim Fast, Fat Fast" with her gummi bears

13. in the vet's office saying good-bye to Rascal

14. in an operating room watching Azalea's ovarian hysterectomy

15. in the coach section of an airplane on the way to Europe

16. in a town due west of nowhere drinking Parrot Ice and being very much mistaken

17. in the back-seat of the car arguing with my brother about the lyrics of "Norwegian Wood"

18. in the driveway on New Years Eve wondering why the fireworks are less spectacular each year

19. in front of the computer late at night looking for the perfect picture

20. in the mall crying because people change

21. in my bedroom pretending to think a friend is silly as she kissed the covers of my Beatles records

22. in the airport buying Mentos and MAD magazine

23. in the bedroom trying to find the right notes on my guitar until my fingers blistered

24. in a bathroom discovering that Nair does not work on all hair types but is ideal for easy, painless skin removal

25. in an organic restaurant wondering if true love is when he can't possibly gross you out