The B. T.

Flight 851 to El Paso

I found a Big Turd in the bathroom on the plane—
the kind as thick as a burrito
that coils around the toilet
like a pregnant snake eating its own tail.
I tried to flush it twice and then
looked around for something with which to shove it.
The only thing I could find with any kind of potential
was a soap dispenser,
and that was bolted down.
The Big Turd was left to lounge in the bowl
while I admitted defeat
and called a flight attendant to take care of it.
I think she probably lifted it
and threw it out the emergency exit,
where it coasted down the inflatable slide
onto someone’s picnic.