Never go shopping when you're hungry for sardines.

This tin of sardines has been on the pantry shelf
for months, ever since
I bought two of them when I had a craving
for them in the grocery store.

It's much better to shop when I'm hungry for a salad.
That way, I buy a head of lettuce,
a few tomatoes,
a bottle of expensive foreign-looking dressing,
and croutons.
Then I know I'll have to eat salads for a few days at least,
so that I use up the lettuce before it goes bad.

But I don't.

I leave it in the bottom drawer of my fridge,
where it gradually decomposes and becomes
slime-in-a-bag.
I eat one of the tomatoes plain,
biting into it like an apple or a plum,
and discover that the other two are substandard,
so I throw them out.
The dressing remains unopened on
the refrigerator shelf, between
an empty ketchup bottle
and a jar of strawberry jam.
I eat the croutons plain,
munching on them like popcorn while I watch reruns
of "Coach" and "Star Trek."

I opened the other tin of sardines and ate half of them,
disgusting as that is.

It's safer to buy sardines than salads because
if you change your mind about sardines,
you can always donate them to charity.