Holes

There is a hole
under each of my shoes,
which I occasionally
fall into, over, across.
The holes eat my shoelaces
and try to pull my feet in too
so I walk like the ground
under me is quicksand
and I'll get sucked in
if I'm not careful.
The depth of the holes
is directly proportional
to the height of the shoes
I wear.
Height times 1.8 is equal to
the amount of dirt
which must be relocated.
The holes do more than
inhale shoelaces.
They also exhale vast
amounts of cold air
only on days when
I wear a dress,
defying the law of
thermodynamics
that hot air rises,
cold air sinks.