The time had come, and Kahlan was more then a little nervous. It was finally time for her to take the Accepted test, if she survived, then she was Accepted, if not, well, she tried not to think about that too much, but even so, it weighed heavily on her mind.
Amora, the Mistress of Novices and Soldiers, came to escort her, and took the trembling Novice to a chamber far beneath the Grey Tower. The domed room was a showcase for the three arches, the only passage to Acceptance. Kahlan stood at the door, nearly shivering in fear. I must be strong. I will become Aes Sedai, she thought to herself as she walked in, enraptured by the strange ter'angreal and nervous because there were Aes Sedai sitting at each corner of it, cross-legged. They all wore the shawls of their Ajah.

"This ter'angreal, as you know, brings you face-to-face with your greatest fears. No one will ask you what you have faced; you need tell no more than you wish. Every woman's fears are her own property." Amora told her calmly before asking, "Are you ready child?" Kahlan paused for a moment, before nodding.

"Very well then. Two things I will tell you now that no woman hears until she is in this room. The first is as follows. Once you begin, you must continue until the end. Refuse to go on, and you will have to wait one week before taking the test again." Amora Sedai paused, letting what she said sink in. "Second. To seek, to strive, is to know danger. You will know danger here. Some woman have entered and never returned. If you are to survive, you must be steadfast. Falter, fail, and . . ." Her silence was more eloquent than words. "This is your last chance, child. You may turn back now, and you will have only one mark against you. It is no shame to refuse."

Kahlan paled visibly, not sure what to do, was it really worth it? Somewhere inside her, something said yes and she listened, she hoped that she would have the Light's blessing as she slowly followed Amora into the chamber for the test.

"Whom do you bring with you, Sister?" the Sister in the Green shawl asked Amora formally as she walked in the door with the pale Novice.

"One who comes as a candidate for Acceptance, Sister," Amora Sedai replied with the same formalitly.

"Is she ready?"

"She is ready to leave behind what she was, and, passing through her fears, gain Acceptance."

"Does she know her fears?"

"She has never faced them, but now is willing."

"Then let her face what she fears."

Kahlan took off the Novice dress, thoughts spinning through her head wildy. She realized that she had no clothes on when she felt cold, her feet chilled on the stone floor. She blushed, a bit self concious, her conservative nature a result of her Andoran breeding.
"The first time," Amora Sedai said, "is for what was. The way back will come but once. Be steadfast." Despite her fear and nakedness, she managed to maintain a thread of dignity as she walked slowly into the arch....
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Kahlan looked around her, she was in a field, a field she had seen on her way to the Grey Tower. The field where they had been attacked on the journey, where Daslyn and Gerenda Sedai were brutally killed by the dark clad strangers. She could see their maimed bodies in her mind's eye as she kneeled by their forgotten gravestones. She picked a few wildflowers and placed them on the small reminders of the women who had lost their lives as Gerenda Sedai led both Kahlan and Daslyn to the Grey Tower for training.
The way back will come but once. Be steadfast.
Hatred for the mysterious men boiled in her mind as she thought of the day that it happened. She could almost feel the wrenching pain in her arm where it was broken by one of the black-clad men. It was fortunate that Gerenda Sedai was able to Heal it, she was a Yellow, but just as she finished, she was stabbed in the back. She died in Kahlan's arms, tears streaking down her pale face as she held the woman helplessly in her arms. "Go to the Grey Tower, child, save the world from the Shadow," she whispered with her last breath. Kahlan fell sobbing on the grave, rememberance stabbing her heart like a knife. Suddenly, she saw a shadow rustling in bushes. Her head jerked up, tears still leaking from her emerald eyes, hatred still burning strong. The shadow slipped out from the dark leaves, a knife in hand. He laughed evilly as he approached the angry young woman by the graves and he hissed, "I killed your friends, what will stop me from killing you?"
The way back will come but once. Be steadfast.
Kahlan bristled, a new emotion coming to play, fear in its purest form. The man approached her with a silent, deadly grace, knife pointed straight at her throat. Gathering all of her courage, Kahlan lounged at the man, throwing him off guard and landing on top of him on the ground. She prayed to the Light that he could not hear her heart thumping in her chest. She grabbed the knife, a tiny drop of blood, her blood, dripped down the side of it.
Almost paralyzed with fear, she put the knife up to his throat, afraid he would see her tremble. "This is for killing Gerenda Sedai and Daslyn," she told him, only a tiny quiver touched her icey voice.
Suddenly a flash of silver caught her eye. She glanced up to see the arch. The way back will come but once. Be steadfast.
If she left now, her friends' deaths would never be avenged! The man grinned evilly, he sensed her indecision and would strike as soon as she moved enough to grant him space.
The way back will come but once. Be steadfast.
She swallowed all of her fear and jumped up. She hit the ground running. The man was quick and had regained his knife and chased her. He ran faster then her and as she ran through the arch, blood began to trickle down her back.
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Kahlan slowed as she stepped out of the arch. She began trembling violently with fear and anger as she realized what happened. Tears began to well up in her eyes as she muttered, "I-I could have avenged them! H-h-he wouldn't have been able to..." She broke off in a new crying fit, for her lost friends, for what she had nearly done, from fear of the man of the shadows.
One of the Sisters raised one of the silver chalices high and poured the chilling water over the trembling girl's head. "You are washed clean of what sin you
may have committed, and of those committed against you. You come to us washed clean and pure, heart and soul."
Kahlan shivered as the cold water settled over her. She cringed, expecting it to sting as it ran over the cut on her back. Nothing happened. Looking down at her finger, she realized that it was unmarked as well.
Her nerves must have been written clearly on her face because the Mistress of Novices and Soldiers assured her that all was well, she was still there. "The second time, is for what is. The way back will come but once. Be steadfast." one of the Aes Sedai
Kahlan reluctantly dragged her dripping body to the second arch and entered with great reluctance.
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Kahlan found herself on the front door of her home in Andor. The huge entrance loomed before her like the formidable gateway to another world. Her breath caught in her thoat as the door opened. Did she knock on it?
The woman who answered the door was Hesyna, the maid. Kahlan pressed a smile onto her lips, hoping that it didn't look too forced. "Hello Hesyna, how are you?" she greeted the familiar face with forced politeness.
The woman stared at the Great Serpent ring on her finger before answering, "M-mistress Kahlan! H-how good of you to come!" The woman's eyes did not leave the gold ring on her finger. "P-please come in!"
Kahlan stepped into the warm, inviting room. It was so familiar... Hesya scuried up the stairs to fetch her mother. Kahlan held her breath in fear. What would her mother say is she say her?
A tall, regal looking woman emerged at the top of the stairs. Her dark red hair was pulled back in an intricate style. Her blue-green eyes were as cold as ice as she looked down at her daughter. Her high-necked gown glistened in the light in a deep crimson color with gold trim.
"What do you want?" she asked coldly, not an ounce of feeling in her smooth voice.
"Mother, this is my home why shouldn't I come back?" her voice was strained, tears threatened to spill from her emerald eyes as she struggled to maintain her composure.
"You left us, this is no longer your home. You left us to join the women who killed her father. You are one of them now," her mother's icey voice continued, but Kahlan dedected a faint tremble in it.
"Mother, the ones I joined are not the women who killed Father. At the Grey Tower, they help male channelers. I have met many, they are my friends. They will live longer because of these Aes Sedai!" a tear streaked down her pale cheek as she tried to get through to her mother, whom she loved so much.
Her mother's calm was broken, the woman lifted her skirts and ran down the stairs to embrace her daughter.
The two women held each other in their arms, tears falling on the shoulders of their gowns. All the servants gathered around in the hallway, smiling, glad the young Lady had returned, glad that she was forgiven. Kahlan could not remember ever being happier, with her mother having forgiven her. She never wanted to leave her warm embrace again.
Suddenly, she saw a flash of silver. Turning, the silver arch stood in the hall way.
The way back will come but once. Be steadfast.
No! Her mind called out to her. Not now! She tore herself away from her mothers arms. The womans face looked fearful.
"What's wrong? Please don't leave again!" she pleaded.
"No, no, I must!" Kahlan cried, sobbing as she headed to the gate. She entered and she could still hear her mother's desperate cries for her lost child, lost in more ways then one, leaving again.
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"You are washed clean of false pride. You are washed clean or false ambition. You come to us washed clean, in heart and soul." The icey water slid down her back once more, her body shaking half from chill, half from tears.
"She would have loved me again..." she sobbed before her words were cut off by her cries.
One of the sisters looked looked at her comfortingly. "The worst is yet to come," she murmered, almost sadly.
"The third time is for what will be. The way back will come but once. Be steadfast."
Kahlan wiped the tears from her eyes and stepped into the shimmering Ter'angreal.
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Kahlan was standing outside and the area was crowded with people and horses. There were Aes Sedai, Asha'man, Gaidin, Accepted, Dedicated, and even Novices and Soldiers all over the grounds in front of the Grey Tower. Chaos reigned as nervous sound filled the area. Kahlan looked down at herself and was surprised to see that she wore a beautiful gown of blue and silver silk. On her shoulders rested a blue-fringed shawl, the shawl of the Aes Sedai. Looking up, she realized that all the Aes Sedai wore their shawls and all the Asha'man their cords.
"Kahlan, will you take your horse now?" she heard a voice behind her. Turning, she saw her friend Karyna, proudly wearing her blue-fringed shawl, holding the reins of two horses.
"Yes, I'll take her," she replied, taking the reins to the tall bay mare. Karyna looked eager, expectant almost. Kahlan saw Ambrese near-by, already seated on her horse, the green fring on her shawl blowing in the slight breeze. She looked even more eager then Karyna.
Suddenly, she heard a voice, magnified by the One Power. "All mount your horses!" the voice, Kahlan recognized as the Amyrlin's, boomed. She was mounted in the front, her face serious and and her stole upon her shoulders.
All those around her mounted their horses, she followed suit. Soon, they were organized by Ajah. Amora sat in front of her, as Head of the Blue, beside her was Karyna and Jaisen, the other Sitters, and behind her was the rest of the Blue Ajah. The Green Ajah was in front of them and behind them was the Grey. Thenm Nevelyn's voice echoed from the front again, "Sisters and Brothers! Are we ready for Tar'mon Gaidin?" She seemed almost enthusiastic.
The Last Battle? Kahlan nearly fell off her horse. Already? Cheers rose up from the crowd, especially from the Green Ajah. Blood and bloody ashes! She cursed in her mind.
The way back will come but once. Be steadfast.
A huge gateway opened up before them and they all rode into it. They came out in Andor. Why in Andor? Kahlan wondered. She saw why. The entire city of Caemlyn was up in flames. Trollocs, Fades, and hundreds of other Shadowspawn invaded the city. Everywhere, people were screaming, crying, dying. They could only help a little, they had to go to Shayol Ghul. They had to stay close.
A heart-wrenching scream tore her back to reality. "NOOO! Not my baby!!!" That voice was familiar. Kahlan whirled her mount and galloped to the voice.
Her mother, it had to be her mother, dressed in what had been a fine gown a long time ago, the remains were more like rags. Her dark red hair was in a disarray and tears stained her cheeks. She cradled in her arms a small baby, but a man, Kahlan could tell he was a dark friend, was attacking her, trying to kill her and her baby. Kahlan siezed the source, holding the man frozen as she grabbed her mother and the child away from him.
"Mother, what happened?" she asked desperately, hugging her mother close. "H-he threw m-me out, and the b-baby when I wouldn't join him, and the Dark One. He's a Darkfriend, Kahlan! I married a Darkfriend!" her mother cried on her shoulder. Kahlan had a memory of a wedding, but it seemed that it wasn't her memory, one from another life.
She put her mother on her mount and walked her back to where the Amyrlin was gathering the Aes Sedai to go fight the Last Battle. Soon, they were all there, ready to go, her mother included. She had to go find another mount for her since she insisted on going.
She went back into the city, the entire Grey Tower waiting for her outside. Suddenly, she saw a blazing fireball fall from nowhere. There was an explosion right outside the city walls. Running out to her friends, all she saw was a mass of charred, dead bodies, all dead except for one person lying half dead on the edge of the mess. Walking over to it, Kahlan saw that it was her near-sister, Mekare, the tatters of her grey-fringed shawl still wrapped around her shoulders.
"Kahlan!" she called out in a desperate weak voice, "Kahlan help me!" She ran to her near-sister's side. Tears streaked her face as she looked at Mekare. I need to save her, she's all I have left! was her desperate thought.
A flicker of silver caught her eye. The arch of the Ter'angreal. She looked at it and and her dying near-sister. No, I can't leave her, go away! she thought angrily.
The way back will come but once. Be steadfast.
She tore away from her friend. "I'm so sorry Mekare!" she called out between tears, her voice desperate.
"No! Kahlan don't go! Don't..." Mekare's voice faded to nothing as her breath failed her. Her last words a desperate cry for help to the woman she trusted, but Kahlan had ran away.
Kahlan screamed loudly in anguish as she threw herself at the gateway in arch.
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She fell on the cold floor of the chamber, her naked body shaking violently. Her face was dirty and tear streaked, but no tears fell from her emerald eyes. Looking up, those eyes were wild, filled with anger, fear, and anguish. "It was my fault that she died! I could have saved her!" her voice came out sharp as a blade with a hoarse edge to it as if she were in insane.
"You are alive child, many have not made it out through the arches. You have done well," one of the Aes Sedai said gently. Kahlan didn't know or care which of the women it was, she saw nothing but the scene from the Ter'angreal, her near-sister dying as she ran away, calling to her.
The Aes Sedai called her over to them. Holding the last chalice, the Amyrlin let the chilled water flow over Kahlan's head. "You are washed clean of Kahlan Jazmyn of Andor. You are clean of all the ties that bind you to the world. You come to us washed clean, in heart and soul. You are Kahlan Jazmyn, Accepted of the Grey Tower." She handed the chalice to one of the sisters and drew Kahlan to her feet. Amyrlin Nevelyn Sedai slipped the Great Serpent ring on her finger and Kahlan stared at it, her face blanck except for her eyes. Her eyes held more pain then it seemed possible.
They dressed her in the banded dress of the Accepted, but Kahlan didn't notice until much later. The pain in her eyes was still there long after she realized that she wore the dress and the rong that marked her Accepted. She wondered in her soul, was it worth it?