Lufia:The teacher wasn't that bad.
Phoebe: But the class just plain. . .
(Samantha covers Phoebe's mouth to censor her)
Samantha: Please, we have no idea how young the viewers on this site will actually be.
Teefa: Well, anyway, we spent most of the classes just daydreaming while Rutee took notes.
Rutee: Next semester, you take the notes. I'm the Music Muse, not the Art or Writer Muse.
Teefa: Oh just give it a rest. As I was saying, come test time, we just spend the times in between slides daydreaming. Professor Leventine didn't even know it. And we were in front too. So, here for you now, I share our laghs and chuckles in the land of art.
~Exam 1~
(Palett of Narmer)
Teefa: Oi, they've got some really messed up humanoids for supreme dieties, their bodies all still resemble regular humans.
Lufia: If they don't stop with the slate, I'll hit them over the head with one.
Samantha: Dynasty 1, an easy date to remember.
Burianne: Slate rhymes with plate which equals food.
Phoebe: (Heavily censored cursing)
Rutee: Booring, where's the challenging questions.
(Parthanon)
Teefa: Goddess! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!! Myria!!
Lufia: Let's just get this over with, I'm growing impatient.
Samantha: Such a pretty place for a picnic.
Burianne: Wow, the Ancient Greek Burger Joint. I'm hungry.
Phoebe: What a stupid and pointless test.
Rutee: Looks like the ruin I went to with Atwight and Vapor in order to practice my Lina Inverse impression. (Slayers Inside Joke: Rutee went there and blew up the ruins casting magic used by Lina).
(Spoils From the Temple of Jerusalem)
Teefa: Oi, I've really gotta get into the bandit killing trade too. Hunting demons through the dimensions isn't half as much fun. You don't usually get the treasure.
Lufia: Why couldn't they have made a fresco instead? Stone is just too bland.
Samantha: Well, at least this one's easy. I really should have studied more for this.
Burianne: Spoils?! What food spoiled?! How dare they?!
Phoebe: What the *BEEP* is the reason for making this into art?! Surely it wasn't to hard to ransack a temple. (Remember, Phoebe is used to destroying entire armies along with the other girls, she doesn't know about Earth battles).
Rutee: Fireball!! (an explosion goes off in her head). And Lina Inverse again triumphths over the bandits.
(Mummy Portrait of a Man From Fayum, Egypt)
Teefa: It's cracked, like the brains of the people who put us in this class.
Lufia: That's not a mummy. Even a Class-B Art Muse can distinguish that.
Samantha: He was probably a nice looking man, but I think he's a little light for being a desert man.
Burianne: Death Portrait! Can't they have one of his last meal too?
Phoebe: If he saw us glaring, he'd probably say "What the *BEEP*"
Rutee: Here lies the original bishonen. NOT!!
(Judgement Before Osirus)
Teefa: Lookie here, it's more of those wrongly drawn humanoids.
Lufia: At least this one has some color variety. My crazy art has more than these so called "Masterpieces".
Samantha: Well, at least they thought positive.
Burianne: Weighing a feather and a heart? Now, let's weigh his heart against my super sized sandwich.
Phoebe: (Simply scribbles her answer, and looks at her watch impatiently. Hey! You would to if the class was right before lunch and it's the only classroom you have where you can't eat).
Rutee: Wow, that's one messed up Pokemon or Digimon. Atwight, Digivolve to Sakuyamon! Let's kick some tail.
(Lacoon & His Sons)
Teefa: You know, of all the nudes we saw this semester, it had to be the three least cute. Not that any of them were bishonen. Hey! Teacher! Let's get some artwork in here of Jet Enduro(Wild ARMs 3), Lloyd (Legend of Dragoon), and Gourry Gabriev (Slayers)! They don't have to be naked, just show them to us and test us on them. (Yes, she is a flirt).
Lufia: Look! Arthur just turned into a serpent and attacked an old geezer that flirted with Terrie! She'd still take the old guy before him :)
Samantha: Oh my, don't they have any dignity?
Burianne: Our first nude, and it's this ugly guy. I'd rather look at some porno doujinshi. I really need to get a good hookup. (Please, don't hook her up with any)
Phoebe: What the *BEEP* is the point of seeing the guy naked?! If they like *BEEPING* young nude athletes, why's this guy so *BEEPING* old.
Rutee: This class made my eyes lose their virginity. (thinking in a whiny voice) I wanted Stahn to do that for me!!!!
(Arch of Constantine)
Teefa: It's an arch, what's the big deal?
Lufia: More Marble! I'm bored out of my mind with grayscale art.
Samantha: Let's just pretend this is one of those magic arches that were errected on the Island of Ukantan.
Burianne: Ahhhhhhhhhh, a fork with one prong missing.
Phoebe: (Is making plans on throwing the exam out the window like a paper airplane the second she gets it back, then realizes that Aguro and his crew probably thought of it first). *BEEP*
Rutee: Charge Starfire, right through the gate!
(Augustus of Primaporta)
Teefa: This will be the closest we get to bishonen at all in this class.
Lufia: (Plans on adding paint to the picture until he looks like Max)
Samantha: I'll bet any amount of Galios that Teefa and Rutee are making bishonen jokes about this one.
Burianne: Cute! Now, take of those clothes and pose for me baby!
Phoebe: (Writes WTF in the corner of her paper, hoping to get a rise out of the professor)
Rutee: Feh! Stahn's much cuter. Well, all that's left is the essay.
(Essay: Compare the "Kouros" & "Spear Bearer")
Teefa: I've said it before, and I'll say it again. These Greek guys wer whacked.
Lufia: (On the verge of showing herself to be Serpentine trained by blowing up the class with her magic)
Samantha: Well, this time I think we're a little bit better off. This one wasn't too hard for the girls to remember.
Burianne: (Drools over the only semi-cute nudes she's seen this year, yes she's insane)
Phoebe: Compare!? What the *BEEP* am I supposed to compare about them!?
Rutee: At last, the nightmare ends. Until the next time we meet. Artwork, do your worst, I'll make sure that we all study enough to pass.
~Exam 2~
(The Issenheim Alterpiece)
Teefa: I'm groaning over this piece by Grunewald. I'm tired of seeing it.
Lufia: Well, the subject is a little dark for me. So are the colors. By Ladon! Give me something bright and cheery.
Samantha: At least this one was easy to work out the hints for.
Burianne: Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...sandwich.
Phoebe: *BEEPING* alterpieces.
Rutee: Snoresville.
(Empress Theodora and Her Retinue)
Teefa: She calls that a retinue? She should see what my father could put together when he was alive.
Lufia: Retract earlier statement, this has some nice colors. The gold really...(long ramble in her mind over the content of the art)
Samantha: I still think it would have been nicer to make one of both the Emperor and Empress.
Burianne: Were they on their way to the burger joint down the street? It would make sense to carpool.
Phoebe: If there's no battles soon, I'm going to go postal! *BEEP*
Rutee: Pretty, but needs some spice.
(Nave and Choir of Chartes Cathedral)
All Girls: (frantically try to remember which of the interior pictures this is, since they had to study a lot of them)
(Madonna of the Rocks)
Teefa: I just love children, such a kawaii piccie (completely forgets the religious significance)
Lufia: That's Renniassance art for you, completely forgetting the beautiful colors seen in later landscapes.
Samantha: Peaceful, bet Phoebe's tearing her hair out.
Burianne: (stomach growls) Is that grass edible?
Phoebe: *BEEPING* booring! Where's the action?
Rutee: (like Teefa, forgets the religious significance) Reminds me of when Ma would take me and Leon to the park to have a picnic.
(Mission of the Apostles)
Teefa: Which one was...oh now I remember. I cut this one in half trying to scan it.
Lufia: Well, white is prettier than gray, so I should be relieved.
Samantha: They've really gotta stop crowding their art into such little space.
Burianne: (still hungry, she lets out a yawn of boredom)
Phoebe: (curses until the next picture is shown)
Rutee: Man, looks like they like carving things. Personally, I'd rather see a statue if it had to be that.
(Good Shepard, Jonah, and Orant Figures)
Teefa: More guys who are not cute. I vote we play Wild ARMs 3 and flirt over Jet when we get home.
Lufia: Not a good restoration comitte, eh?
Samantha: (begins twirling one of her many little braids between her finger)
Burianne: Fish! I want to eat the giant fish!
Phoebe: (ends her cussing tyrade, takes one look, and starts up again)
Rutee: Man, this blows.
(A Tavern Scene)
Teefa: (fumming) If you have to show us guys getting into sexual trouble, they need to at least reach bishonen level! Else I turn violent.
Lufia: Wow, this must have been hard to accomplish.
Samantha: Closest I'll get to seeing romance this semester.
Burianne: (whiny) How come he gets to eat and we don't?
Phoebe: Men, they're all the *BEEPING* same.
Rutee: See Leon, whores do exist. Just because you've never seen one...(mutters about little brothers that don't want to read about the outside world or listen to big sisters who go out into the world to learn about reality)
(Interior of St. Lorenzo's Cathedral)
Teefa: Eureka! I've got a middle name for Ginny's ancestor at last.
Lufia: More architecture, *sigh*
Samantha: More boredom, *sigh*
Burianne: No food, *sigh*
Phoebe: No action, *sigh*
Rutee: (looks to her friends) Ut oh, I think we're losing them. C'mon, only the essay left girls. You can make it if you try.
(Essay: Compare "Prophet" and "David")
Teefa: I think he only likes statues, that's all that's been in our essays.
Lufia: Oi, only one had the decency to put on clothes. That old Greek style still gets to me. Now, if it were some certain anime and RPG males, maybe I'd like it.
Samantha: Anyone else really think they should have brought in those sensors like on TV?
Burianne: What's over David's shoulder? Is it a pack with food in it?
Phoebe: I don't wanna see them standing still, I wanna see David whup ass with that slingshot!
Rutee: (puts crosshatch on sheet of paper) Two down, one to go. Oi, I don't even wanna know what the next one will bring.