Mood:  crushed out

Originally posted on Feburary 17th, 2004

Not much to say, my thoughts are too jumbled to be coherent.

Valentine's day was nice, Mike sent me roses a valentine's day bear and chocolates by mail to my mom's house. We went out to dinner and double dated with my mom and Zeke. Afterwords we tried to make love but Mike got frustrated and lost the mood. I tried to get him back in it but after a lil bit I lost interest as well. We were both tired.

Sunday was terrible, he was so damn blase all he wanted to do was sleep, after a severe explosive argument, we almost broke up and are still on that threadbare line. I told him in March to go to PA and think us over by himself and when he comes back to let me know if he wants to continue or not. He's depressed, there's not much else to say.
We kissed and I could feel him tense in a good way, he was hungry but reluctant. Afterwords we tried to patch things.
We RPed on the fly.

Monday was strange. We made love, first time got him frustrated again, after coaxing again it was awesome, but I dried up before he could finish, much to my dismay, but the act itself is what we both needed. We both avoided my dad who did not like the news we were waiting another year to marry.
Mike called around, ready to pay his debts soon, which irked him but afterward the day went by quietly and we gamed with Dave, Mike's DM. I believe it was fun for everyone.

Today he's back at work and I'm sitting here wondering if he's okay and what the night will bring. Through all this though, I still love him and always will, no matter what happens later or in the future.