Mood:  sad

Originally posted on Feburary 12th, 2004

I RPed with Kel, it was totally awesome! I hope he had as much fun as I did. Wonder if we can come up with plots to use when the group is together. However through the entire session and afterward, I couldn't stop thinking about Mike.

We used to have fun like that.

I ache for him, I made it clear I wanted him last night, but I was shot down. I let it go because he truly was frustrated and worried over his finances. So at least I know he is serious on wanting to get it fixed and get prepared for the wedding. I just hope he doesn't snap, blow up or give up on it.

I know he's trying, he's just so dead to everything else, I'm beginning to wonder if he'll ever be himself again. I don't think he understands that my joy is suppressed whenever he's not around (or is but not paying attention) I want him to have fun again and participate in things with me, or I him like we used to.

Again, I just have to be patient I guess. Hopefully he believes me when I tell him how much I love him.