Mood:  irritated

Originally posted on December 17th, 2003

Haven't written in a few days, because I lack the motivation.

RP has been decent despite lack of communication, glad to see Nate again, hopefully we'll see him around more now.

I'll think I'll finally break down and ask Mike to pack me some clothes, so I can stay at mom's a few days, he's been a complete asshole to me lately, which in turn makes me respond negatively to him or fall silent and take his verbal abuse to where I feel so small and useless.

Nothing goes right for him, when something fails, or isn't to his liking, I have to hear him vent, more often than not it's toward me.
I need a chauffeur
I need to do more around here
I need to help more, instead of sit there
I need to get him up earlier
I need to remind him of things..ALL the damn time
I need to stop what I'm doing and do something else.
I should just stay at my mom's like he told me to
I need to shut the fuck up

He's stressed out.

He's got to much to do

The above is the crap he's been handing me for a week now. It's the Christmas season everybody gets stressed. So the car still isn't working right, my mom offered to help, he didn't take it until the car died and was stranded.

Even as I continue writing he just blew up at me, demanding I drop I'm doing to repost the index page on the site. After I worked hours on that template, he doesn't like, didn't want to argue over it so I offered suggestions what he could do, ended arguing over it anyway.

I don't know anymore. Does he really love me, I'm beginning to doubt it, and asking won't help, if I have to ask I know the answer and if I have to truly ask there is no relationship, but where are we headed then?