Mood:  don't ask

Originally posted on December 6th, 2003

God DAMN! I could just kill someone!

Mike and I have been getting on great since my last entry. Couldn't be happier, he's been so nice and so cheerful. Role play has been so totally awesome. Mike even got his Vesz'aun picture. Everything was going along so well.

Thursday came and he informed me he was leaving Friday to go to PA without me. I was sad, but okay with it, I'd be staying at my mom's until Sunday. I was so happy for him, he was finally gonna go home and see his family. Sure I'd miss him but he needs this and this time alone.

I'm really getting sick and fucking tired of God's testing! Christian's can bite my ass for that statement and I'll get judged for it later when I'm dead but oh well can't take it back.
5:00 pm I call my mom ask her if she wanted to go with me and Mike out to eat, she said yes. 5:24 pm she called back to cancel, Grandma had a stomach ache and didn't want to drive at night so Mom took her to patient first. 5:45 pm Mike goes to pay this months rent and get us food. 5:50pm he comes back rent paid but informs me the car is dead..battery shot. my reaction was total despair, so much so that while he went into the bathroom, me like a total wimp and crybaby choked on sobs.

He comforted me but that made me cry all the more because I know his heart was hurting and me the useless twit I am, could do nothing.

Even now after we ate and I watched the Matrix Reloaded with him, as I'm writing this, broke into tears again. We called my mom but she wasn't home I just hope she can get here in the morning and jump start him so he can still hopefully go. I want this for him more than I ever wanted anything. I best go now before I depress myself further....