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Cloud sat up, awakened by a sudden, trembling chill
that was quickly swallowed by a dark, empty void that shadowed a nightmare
too horrible to remember, yet one that was determined to remain lurking on
the edge of consciousness nonetheless. His surroundings were of little comfort.
The inn was like every other inn they had stayed in during their long journey,
plain but comfortable, small but spotlessly clean. It was mostly dark, the
curtains drawn and the lights extinguished. A restless flicker of firelight
came from the other bed, running parallel to the far wall. To call the powerful
beast simply by the number the Shinra had given him to distinguish him from
their other experiments had seemed almost blasphemous. It had been Vincent
who had rechristened him Galileo, and he had taken to the name immediately.
Now he lay across the foot of Vincent's bed, his fire-tipped tail giving the
calm effect of a flickering candle as it twitched contentedly in his sleep.
He had confessed several days earlier that he preferred to sleep on the end
of Vincent's bed instead of with Cloud; apparently a man accustomed to sleeping
in a coffin had little tendency to move about in the night.
Vincent. The sight of the dark, quiet man transforming into the monstrous
purple beast had unnerved Cloud, he couldn't deny that. He had seen unease
in Galileo's defensive crouch as well, yet when the battle was finished the
transformation had faded almost as quickly as it had come, and Vincent was
Vincent again. Dark, cynical, and more than a bit mysterious, but human. He
had not said anything about the transformation; that one, or later ones. Cloud
had not felt it his place to bring it up in conversation, either; especially
around the others who had not seen it for themselves.

The bed was rumpled, but empty save for Galileo. Cloud's tired gaze was drawn
to the faint light streaming past the partially open curtain, shedding barely
enough light in the room to be noticeable. Vincent sat in the bay window,
dressed simply in black pants and a black shirt that left his arm bare; his
left arm ended at his elbow in a mass of ugly scar tissue where the Shinra
had amputated it, to replace it with the powerful mechanical hand that Cloud
knew Vincent abhorred.The red cloak he wore during the day was partially draped
over Galileo, rising and falling with the beast's steady breathing. The black
that he was dressed in now was a sharp contrast to his pale skin. One leg
folded beneath him, the other foot braced up against the opposite window frame,
he sat in silence, looking thoughtfully out at the moon that was only a few
days past new. Cloud pushed back the patchwork quilt, swung his legs over
the edge of the bed, and padded across the room.
"The moon has as much of an effect on us as the sun," Vincent said
softly, not turning to look at Cloud as he spoke. "Only the moon is not
noticed as much
perhaps that only makes its effect all the more powerful."
"What did Shinra do to you?" The question had formed on his lips
before he was entirely aware that he was going to say anything at all. It
was a question he had not dared to ask during the day, but at night, things
were different. At night, the rules were different.
For a long moment Vincent did not answer, did not look at Cloud. If the question
had brought unease to the forefront of his mind, he did not show it. Shadows
played across the hollows of his face as the trees outside the window swayed
ever so slightly in the breeze.
"At one time I was normal," he said finally. "Once I was human."
Vincent finally turned his gaze on the younger man, emotions now flickering
across his face so quickly there was scarcely time to catch one before it
disappeared and was overtaken by another. His eyes seemed to search Cloud's,
to look into his depths past where even he himself could see. It was Vincent's
gaze that was most unnerving of all. His eyes were the color of blood, a deep,
dark scarlet; there was a permanent sadness in his eyes as well, that gave
the appearance that he was on the verge of bloody tears. "I was not like
Shinra's other experiments. I was not created from nothing; I did not volunteer
to become what I was made. I am living proof of what they will do even to
their own."
"Their
you worked for Shinra?" Cloud was startled. The hate
Vincent bore for Shinra was something he rarely mentioned, but was so completely
thorough that he had no need to speak of it. It was deep-seated, yet so near
to the surface it radiated off him like a heat, a fever
or a sickness.
Yet it made sense, for betrayal could be the root of the most powerful hate.
Vincent nodded. "I did. You would hardly recognize me now, had you known
me then. I was a Turk
an equal to Reno and Rude was the worst I could
be called. A murderer was the best. They took me when I was a youth, taught
me how to defend, how to kill
made me into the monster they needed.
When they no longer wanted me, they went farther than that. They made me into
an inhuman."
"Why?"
"Because I finally found the courage to speak up and say no. I have agonized
over whether it was courage or stupidity that finally made me speak my mind,
and my heart. To have either as a Turk is a dangerous, sometimes fatal thing.
But at that time, I knew what it was like to still have a heart, but I was
unaware of how precious a thing it was. Now, I know what it is like to live
without." Vincent's remaining hand went to the stump of his arm in what
Cloud suspected was an unconscious gesture. His long, slender fingers played
over the ugly white tissue there, as he thought what were most certainly unthinkable
thoughts about a past he would rather forget.
"Speaking what you believe, as you did, can only be courage." Cloud
had intended the words to be comforting, but they sounded shallow in his own
ears.
"Is it? Or is it foolish? Three decades, I spent in self-imposed exile
in the basement of the Shinra Mansion. Three decades, as an outcast. Perhaps
I could have done something else. Something useful. I was on the inside of
Shinra, I had access to people we can only see from afar now. I could have
used that
instead, I was rash."
"It's always easy to look back and say, what if." Cloud shrugged.
He knew that the words were true, but there were things in his past that they
could apply to as well. Sometimes things were hard to believe even if you
knew in your heart that they were true. "You did what you thought was
right at the time, and that's all any of us can do. You can't blame yourself
for it."
Vincent was silent for a moment, and Cloud was unsure whether or not he had
even heard him. His eyes were distant; he seemed to be looking not outside,
but into the past. Cloud had been nearly ready to turn away and leave him
alone with his thoughts, but suddenly Vincent reached up to untie the scarlet
scarf he always wore across his forehead. He let it fall into his lap, and
as he turned his head, Cloud saw the real reason for the scarf that he wore
even in the darkest of nights.
Scar tissue, ugly and thick, twisted grotesquely across his forehead. It was
made worse by the contrast of his delicate, almost fragile features. He was
a man who would never be called handsome, instead endowed with what could
only be described as beauty. Except for the scar
he absently pushed
back the black, silken hair that fell into his eyes now, and Cloud saw that
the scar even disappeared into his hair. His eyes watched Cloud with an emotion
he couldn't quite place; uncanny eyes, deep, bottomless, and as red as blood.
"I became their experiment." Vincent said softly. "Myself
and the creatures they put inside me. The Galian Beast was first. I was aware
when they did this to me, aware but unable to move, to speak
to scream.
I could hear the Beast as Hojo started on the poor creature, taking out its
very essence to create what I am now."
Cloud flinched as the fingers of Vincent's remaining hand wrapped around his
wrist. He had not noticed the man reaching for him; he felt guilty for recoiling,
but it had been a reflex he had been unable to stop. Vincent did not acknowledge
it, if he even noticed.
He guided Cloud's hand, pressing the younger man's fingers to the horrible
scar that sliced its way across his forehead. The flesh there was just as
cold as his hands were, cold and horribly, horribly twisted where Hojo's knives
had cut. Cloud could feel the jagged edges beneath the white, puckered flesh
where his skull had been seared by Hojo's surgical tools; and when Vincent
moved his hand, Cloud felt the soft, unprotected area where it had been removed
altogether.
" I felt
them doing everything. Never had I been so helpless. I could only lie there
and try to scream. I could not even do that. This
" Vincent held
up what was left of his arm. "This was an accident, or as close to an
accident as any of my fate is. At the end, I began to regain some control
over myself. I tried to lunge off the table at Hojo; a pathetic attempt I
know now. He defended himself by doing this
there is a bitter part of
me that wished he would have let me bleed to death on that cursed table. But
he did not. He replaced my arm in an attempt to save his creation. But when
I awakened with control of what remained of my body, he was gone. The only
companions I had were the corpses of the creatures that had been sacrificed
to become a part of me. I buried them when I was strong enough, still covered
in as much of my own blood as theirs. Vengeance was stronger than self-pity
then, and I found my way back up out of the basement. I found that the rest
of the mansion was deserted as well.
"It was then that I saw something in a mirror near the foyer. It was
horrible, the scream that I heard had come from me. Ghastly, covered in dried
blood, in fresh blood streaming over bruised skin, loose strips of flesh torn
free, clothes hanging in shreds from a skeletal form
eyes the color
of hell itself. It was only when I broke the mirror that I realized that it
was myself I had seen. I had no idea how long I had been on Hojo's table.
What I did know was that the person who I had been was dead. I burned the
clothes that had been ruined, and as I did, I knew that I was burning everything
that I had been. As I sat in front of the fire, naked, terrified, and alone,
I knew that I could never leave that mansion again."
Vincent released his grip on Cloud's hand. In that moment Cloud saw him in
his mind's eye, as he had been when he had first immerged from the basement
room that was Hojo's makeshift laboratory. Bloody and beaten, transformed
into a beast, treated like an animal
"Don't pity me," Vincent said sharply, as if sensing Cloud's thoughts.
"I brought this upon myself."
"No, you didn't," Cloud replied. "No one should pay for doing
what is right
especially how you did."
Vincent turned on his sharply, fire flashing in his eyes. "You were a
part of Shinra as much as I was. You have no claim to idealistic righteousness,
no more than I do."
Cloud took a step back. He knew it was the memories speaking, memories that
he had brought up in Vincent with his inquisitiveness, memories better left
unspoken. He felt a stab of guilt
because Vincent was right. Their quest
against Shinra was as much a quest of atonement as it was a quest of righteousness.
Because they had all been involved in their own ways, and they all had to
make amends for that. He could not deny the people they had hurt, the suffered
they had caused.
Vincent was no longer looking at him. He had lowered his head, picking up
the scarlet scarf and turning it over in his hand. His fingers moved with
the dexterity of one who has learned to accomplish everything with one hand,
quick and graceful. Cloud began to turn away, hating the thought that he was
looking on Vincent with a pity that would only anger him further.
"Those creatures are inside me, not only in my mind, but in every part
of this body that I was given as a reminder of my years of passive idleness.
I have become the Galian Beast, Gigas, Hellmasker
Chaos."
"How did you survive?" Fear was rising in Cloud; fear that the world
was inhabited by those who would do such a thing to a person. But it was those
that they were fighting against, he struggled to remind himself. But he knew
that there was more to Vincent's story, he could see that hidden behind his
eyes. But he did not ask. Fear, anger, hate
they were all battling for
a position in Cloud's heart as he looked at the sad figure before him, monstrous
and beautiful at the same time.
"My existence as this was the will of evil, and my life is the curse
of fate. We are all pawns, Cloud, and often nothing more. Pawns of those we
hate, those we distrust
those that made us into that we hate. I am no
traitor," he continued, seeming to sense Cloud's sudden apprehension
without even seeing it. "But I do not know where I would be now had Shinra
not done this to me. I might have been on the other side of the battlefield,
facing you as an enemy instead of standing at your side."
"As a friend," Cloud finished for him.
Vincent smiled sadly. "Those like me rarely have friends. There are people
who may say that they are friends, but they always turn away in the end."
"I'm not
"
"Going to do that," Vincent interrupted, finishing for him. "It
was hard enough to hear that when I was human and know that it was rarely
the truth. Now it's even harder to hear that when I'm a monster, and know
it never is."
"Sometimes it doesn't hurt to have a little faith in people, Vincent."
"I'm sorry, Cloud, but faith is for optimists and idiots. I like to think
that I'm neither."
Cloud found himself reaching out to Vincent. He had looked away again as he
said the words that he had wanted to be hurtful, lowering his head again and
letting his hair fall forward to cover the scar on his forehead. If he hadn't
wanted to be left alone before, he certainly did now. And that was why Cloud
stubbornly brushed his hair back out of his eyes, making Vincent glare up
at him.
"I don't think so. I think faith is for people who have heart."
He left it at that, turning away from the tortured figure in the window and
leaving him to his own thoughts once again.
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