Now then, let's see what we can do... I know there's a script around here somewhere. 

I WILL FIND THE SCRIPT!

But until then... no one... shall eat... the PIE...

Now let's see... I'll use the world news from the SSB RPG (a very good RPG, I might add).

The Shadow Alliance--in cooperation with the Mushroom Kingdom-- proved to be victors of the battle for the river. As Gandorf's forces retreat, a strange event occurs that neither side... can... av... oid... strategic... um... DARNIT.

CURSE YOU!

CURSE YOU, FOUL TONGUE!!!

*evil laughter*