By Vazor

Hey! Mom! Is that you?

Hello, Crono-

Oh, Mrs. Lara! What are you doing here?

I don't know... I was out strolling in guardia forest and suddenly a bunch of beetles jumped out and attacked me!

What? I thought I vanquished them all- It must mean something is wrong again...

(looks around) Where am I anyway?

We're in the future- Bangor Dome I believe...

Oh dear! How do we get home?

Fear not! I brought the Epoch with me! Let's go!

Drat! She escaped me!

...

Hey Crono! Did you find your mom?

No, but-

Hello, dear.

?

Lucca, it's your mom-Lucca honey, are you okay?

.oO(Drat!~ How!?!) Oh mom! What are you doing here?

Huh? What was that sound?

Surprise, beautiful! I'm here to sweep you off your feet!

Hey, didn't we vanquish you back at Ozzie's fort?

Hey, I'm a magician- what can I say?

Like, you could say that you'll surrender now and save the pain of me tearing you to peices!

Good even' Miss Nadia- I just dropped by to...

Yay! I'm saved!

...

...tell you that one of the gates has reappeared. Um... Flea?

Yes?

::blinks::

C'mon Frog! Let's get her!

Her?! I told you I'm a guy! I wanted to ask you out, Princess Nadia.

Ew..! Dual Tech! Glacier!

Aaaieee! I'm outta here!

Acid! Where are you! Come here right now!

Lucca, it wasn't my fault-

Shut up! I thought I told you to kidnap CRONO'S MOM, not MINE! What's wrong with you!?

.oO(oops)

Argh! If my plans fail you will be the focus of my next 'experiment'! Now go and tell Kace I want him to do it right this time. And make sure he's got the right girl!

Stupid frog! They didn't have to throw me into this whirlpool! Where am I anyway?

Well hello there! (whistles) Hey baby!

Argh! You'll pay for that! Ice2!

AAAAaaaiiieee! What'd I do to deserve that, cuteypie?

Go away- I'm in a bad mood.

Is that so? I miss my Dalton Imperial.

I miss my Flea Cape.

Do you know a guy by the name of Crono?

::blinks::

...

I'm sorry Atropos- I have to see if everything's okay-

...

Schala- stay here.

Okay Janus- be careful-

...

whew what a barrage of colors and feelings that makes my emotion chip seem to fault for a few moments!

Hey it's you again- I thought you were out in the fields watering the trees...

I still am. I just traveled back here from the future because I predict trouble. I need to find Crono.

Hey! You wizard that help us while Crono gone! You friend! You know where Crono is?

I was about to ask the same question of you...

Where could he be?

Oh man! How did I end up in here again?

BUURRPP!

You sure this is the right one, Acid?

Yes I'm sure-

Okay. Well, push that lever over there, and put the power on full!

Okay.

It's working! Lucca is a genius!

. o O (Oh ... my ... gosh ... )

Well are we all here?

Ribbit-

I am here-

Affirmative-

Ayla here!

...

All right that's everyone! Let's see what information we've got- Crono is missing, disappeared between 10 am and 2 pm somewhere in the kingdom of guardia- Frog, Fiona, Robo- you will be alpha squad- you go back in time to...

ZZZZzzZZzZzzzZ...

well she certainly has the genes of royalty- ZZzzZZZzzz...

Oh no! I talked them all to sleep!

Kya ha ha ha!

Huh? Who's there?

It is I! The great Lucca!

Oh, hi Lucca! Sorry I ditched you again- princess things you know I had to...

Shut up! I'd rather have my gums scraped then listen to you! You've ditched me for the last time! Kya ha ha!

Ulp!

If you ever want to see Crono again... invite me to your birthday party!

Never! You'll just make the whole castle blow up!

You imputent simpleton! It would take Lavos to blow that thing up! I only want to show everyone my new invention! I call it a Compact Disc! It will revolutionize computers everywhere!

??? Stop it! You're giving me a headache!

Kya ha ha!

Kace! Did the experiment succeed?

Yes- A little too well. It appears your gene manipulation affects more than just the appearance or attributes of a person- It also affects their destiny!

That is why I survived- Your manipulation of Crono's mom's genes caused him to be more wary- therefore when he first fought me, he thought I was invincible and ran away!

Wow! What a discovery! I'll go down in history! Again! Kya ha ha ha ha ha ha ha- (stops laughing) So where is Crono right now?

Apparently with a twist of some unknown fate gene, it appears he has met up with Lavos a bit early and has been devoured by him.

Oh crap- We'd better go rescue him!

Bleeeaaeaeeeaaaaghghghgaaaaarrraaaaeegghghaaaaaaarrrrggghhhhh...

EEEEEeeeewwwww!!!

Man! What did you have for lunch! Your breath stinks!

Um.. he just ate Crono remember?

Oh yeah- heh heh..

?

Hey quit foolin' around here guys! We've got a big monster to vanquish!

(eats Acid and Kace)

Guys? Hey I can't beat him alone! Uh-oh!

Buurrp!

You call that a burp!? Take this!Bwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelch-

yipe yipe yipe! (coughs up victims and runs away)

My hero! (claps him in a cd player)

Don't think of me as a hero... think of me as your.. hey! what is this thing? augh! No! CCCcCCan't stand the pain! It's it's ... THE MUSIC FROM THE MILLENIAL FAIR!!! AUGH! IT WILL BE STUCK IN MY HEAD FOREVER!!! AAAAAAUGH A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A AAAAAAAAUGH!!!!! (passes out from shouting so much)

Ah! Another poor simpleton who's life has been made better by the great Lucca! Hey Kace! Help me drag these guys back to Crono's house! And put CD players on all those sleeping people back at Crono's house!

Yes, Lucca. At once. (leaves with Crono and Dalton's bodies)

Kya ha ha! Ever since I made that robot, things have been starting to look up! I'm such a genius!

(deserts Lucca and starts his own chrono trigger fanfic)

Kya ha ha! They're all ready to start the music! Kace! Turn it on!

At once, Lucca. (tries) It's stuck.

What? Argh! Let me look at it!

Gya ha ha! That lever won't move until I tell it to!

Who's there!?

Gya ha ha! Hello beautiful! Would you like to go out with me?

Sure!

Not you, foolish robot! I'm a guy!

You- are you serious?

Of course, baby! I can talk about science for hours! You see, I'm a magician of science! You know that bat that followed Crono and Frog into Magus's Castle? That was a robot! The wings were specially designed and powered by yours truly! And then there was that juggler! blah blah blah blah blah blah...

<3 <3 <3 (they walk off into the sunset together)

(something behind his eyes twitches, a mysterious look entering his countenance) (rescues all the sleeping people) Well, my work here is done- (disappears)