| I Don't Have the Heart |
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*I Don't Have the Heart*
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[Author Note: James Ingram]
Well almost.
This was going to be the hard part; for the first time since seeing Luis again, Sheridan had to confront Brian and admit to him that there was nothing between them. She wasn’t sure how she was going to do this, but as she looked at the man coming up the path towards her and Luis, she knew she had to.
Luis cupped her cheek, gently turning her head so she was looking at him. “You don’t have to do this right now, Sher,” Luis looked into her eyes, placing a kiss on the tip of her nose. “It can wait if you’d like.
“No, I have to do this, Luis, and there’s no time like the present. Brian has to be told before his dreams get out of control. Have you heart what he’s been telling people?”
He simply nodded, knowing all too well what Brian O’Leary had been saying about his relationship status with his fiancée. “I love you.”
“Love you too,” she pecked his lips. “Wait here?”
“Of course,” he smiled, accepting one more kiss from her before she walked off. He watched her until she was at Brian’s side and then turned to look at the waves of the ocean.
You say it's ‘cause you're dreaming Of how good it's going to be Sheridan paused in front of Brian, finding it hard to meet his eyes. This was going to be the hardest thing she ever did in her entire life. He was so happy, looked so blissful. In fact, he looked like a man in love with the woman of his dreams. How could she let him down right now? Still, she couldn’t let him continue to dream of a future with her when she had Luis. “Hi, Brian,” she started in a whisper. “Hello, Diana,” he leaned in to place a kiss on her lips, but she turned her head slightly and it landed on her cheek. She had never denied him before and when she turned back to face him, he looked surprised. “Something wrong?” “Well, for starters my name isn’t Diana,” she sighed, taking hold of his hand and leading him to a nearby bench. “It hasn’t been Diana since I first started having memories. And on top of that, I have a fiancé and I love him…”
And now you've finally found Everything you wanted and needed in me “But Diana…” “Sheridan,” she corrected. “Sheridan, I know you’re the one for me. I knew it from the moment I saw you tangled in my fishing net; you were sent to me for a reason. We’re supposed to be together…soul mates!!” She shook her head. “Brian…” “No! The last few months have made me happier than I have ever been in my entire life, Sheridan, and I refuse to let go! I need you…you complete me!” Sheridan sighed, looking deep into his eyes. What was coming next was going to be the hardest thing in the world to do. Closing her eyes, she prayed for strength.
It's the last thing I wanna do But I don't have the heart to love you Not the way you want me to “Brian, you’re a wonderful man and you’ve given me the greatest gift of my life. You’ve returned me to Luis, the one man in this world that I know I’m supposed to be with. I do love you, Brian, but not the way you need me to love you. I don’t want to hurt you, in fact I loathe myself for even doing this to you, but Luis is my soul mate and we’re going to get married…have a family…” “No,” he shook his head, eyes filling with tears. “You can’t do this Sheridan! You can’t!” She placed a hand on his shoulder. “Brian, we both knew this was going to happen sooner or later. We knew that there was a chance I was going to remember my life and find out that I had a family or someone waiting for me.”
Seeing you crying How can I make you understand Sheridan felt her heart constrict in her chest when she saw his tear filled blue eyes. The pain there was killing her, but she couldn’t back down now. She had Luis and she wasn’t giving him up for anyone or anything. How could she make him understand that his feelings just weren’t reciprocated the way he needed them to be? Sheridan didn’t want to be a bitch but she knew that she had to get through to him. She had to tie off this part of her life before she and Luis could be married. “Brian, it pains me to see you hurting so…” “Then why make me hurt like this?” he put his head in his hands. “You said you loved me!”
So much about you I'm trying to say this, as gently as I can “I do love you, Brian, but Luis has my heart and always will. All the love I feel for you is simply out of gratefulness. But even if I loved you a smidgeon of the way I love Luis, it wouldn’t be enough to make me leave him. Now I’m trying to be gentle, Brian, but you have to understand that there’s nothing between us, nor will there ever be.”
It's the last thing I wanna do But I don't have the heart to love you Not the way you want me to “I don’t understand,” he shook his head. “Things were going so well between us. You told me that the man you loved was gone!” “That’s before I found out he wasn’t…” “I love you, Sheridan…please give me a chance to win you back!” She shook her head. “I’m sorry, Brian. Somewhere there is the right woman for you and she’s going to be grateful that you’re in her life. She’s going to love you the way you deserve…but she isn’t me. I just can’t be her.” He looked away.
And Open Hoping that love will start But I don't have the heart Oh no, I don't have the heart “Brian, I’m sorry that you opened your heart to me only to find that I couldn’t open mine to you in return. I know that you had dreams for us, that you planned on my returning to the islands with you and opening a little hotel of our own where we’d raise our children. But it’s not to be. I love Luis and our plans, our dreams, go deeper than anything you can imagine. I just don’t have the heart to love you the way you need me to.”
It's the last thing I wanna do But I don't have the heart to love you Not the way you want me to She placed a gentle kiss on the top of his head. “I don’t want to hurt you.” “Too late,” he replied. “I’m sorry,” she stood up. “I really am. It was the last thing I intended to do. Goodbye, Brian.” With a sigh, Sheridan turned on her heels and walked away, not once looking back. She found Luis just where she left him, standing on the pier watching the waves. “Ready?” “Yup,” he offered her his hand. “Mama’s making all of your favorites for dinner. Hungry?” “Definitely,” she grinned, taking his hand. “I love you.” “Love you too,” he pulled her into his arms. “I’m never going boating again.” She laughed. “Me neither.” Off in the distance, Brian watched as the pair left the wharf, their arms around each other. He sighed. “She just didn’t have the heart,” he shook his head. Luis was a lucky man. He only hoped that Luis realized just how lucky he was, because if he didn’t, he would certainly take Luis’ place without a second thought… Even if Sheridan didn’t have the heart to love him the way he wanted.
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