Years ago - when we 'Elders' were still young - I came too close to treading within the bounds of Fiona's domain of knowledge. I had no wish to offend her - at the time - but she perceived me as a rival, and took steps.
At the same time, my brother Delwin had walked the Pattern and come back a changed man. We... dealt with it, he and I, holding up a facade for our family to see. There came a day when Delwin left Amber, choosing to retreat from Family politics. I had intended to stay.
Intended. Fiona caught me in an unguarded moment, as I returned from speaking with my brother atop the ghostly stair of Tir-na Nog'th. She called my name and cast her spell before I could react, and all went dark around me.
I will never forgive her for that, or what was to follow.
Never.
I came around in an alley somewhere in the city, dirty and cold and ensorcelled to a state of no memory. For two hundred years, I earned my living in ways I never would have considered: thief, prostitute, assassin... I made a friend or two, ones I still keep in contact with.
Finally, one morning, I had the misfortune - or fortune - to be caught at my thievery and taken to the Palace by a pair of perceptive guards. Fiona's spell had its faults - I could never quite see the Palace - but I bless the flaw that gave me back my memory when I crossed the threshold between two guards.
I will say nothing of what followed. Knowing the feud between myself and Fiona, I do not think I need to belabour the obvious. Suffice it to say that I spent some time recovering myself.
I learned then that five Chaos-bred horses, given to me by Dworkin, had carried out my plans to create a breed in my absence. I call them Hellmares, and I am pround of what I have wrought.
As for Ellyn... I knew her for several years in her Shadow, before I was sure she was Corwin's. We were friends, then. I called Corwin, eventually, and he brought her to Amber. I stayed away from the Palace for a time, to give her time to adjust and to train some of the rejected Hellmares. But Delwin resurfaced and proved to be mad, from what cause I did not know. He burned the stables and killed my horses.
I rode for Amber, and met up with Ellyn along the way. Together we returned, and I spoke to the Family of Delwin and his approaching army.
Of the rest I will add little to Ellyn's account. The man I killed was not Delwin, but a Chaosite who had spent long years impersonating my brother. The real Delwin, coward and oathbreaker that he is, had hidden away in Shadow and eventually returned to Amber for a brief time. Some of the others still talk to him.
Enough. I have finished with my obligation. I have nothing else to say."