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CAUTION! FOUL LANGUAGE AHEAD! These are the stories written by my former classmates in my former class of 3A (last year). This rubbish sure does bring back fond memories. To all you readers who do not understand, I hope that you will gain insight upon the maturity level and the thoughts of 15-year old Malaysia adolescents. (P.S. Their English standard is much better than what you read here; they're writing that way to annoy the teacher) |
by Alex, James, Teo, Akram In the new millennium, people no longer beleive in fairy tales but a stupid jerk, Pookie still beleives in it. He likes his parents call him Pookie Mad as he was "genius" of the morons. He always dream that he was Pookie Pan. He will wear Peter Pan's costumes everyday and tried to jump from the roof of his house. He'll always end up in the hospital but he is determined to do more. One day, Pookie met Roy in the curse Jalan Nim Wah. They fell in (heart) but Pookie had a loving MAN called Turkey. Turkey is very sexy and attrative as he had on his ... One night when Puky & Turkey when D' Boss, a stinking ugly girl named Sammi was singing and there was a girl named, Mui Chai doing dirty dancing. Turkey who is a professional rapist and can't control his hormones n' went up the stage and raped Mui Chai. Puky, thought that he was Puky Pan and took out two Tongkat Alis but Turkey had a little lamb and his lamb knocked Puky down and broke his neck. Puky died and Turkey regreted and he killed himself because of sadness. Soon Puky's parents, Lawrence n' Linda lodged a police report and send his corpse to jail. The insects bit Puky's scrotum and swallowed it's two niples.
by Lock Kok Wai One day, while Pikachu was walking along a road, he was eaten by Muk. The End.
by Lew Nam Ken, Leong Kah Loon, Wong Jun Wei, Lock Kok Wai, Tam Yew Fei. Once there was a beautiful duckling called "Flower". She was known as the most beautiful duckling ever born. She liked showing off. After a few years, "FLOWER" was walking along Jalan "Luk Gau". Suddenly, she knocked down a stranger called "Sam Pat ". Actually, "Sam Pat" was a witch who was going to a meeting. "Flower" who was very arrogant did not apologized and ran off. The witch was very angry with her attitude. So, she casted a spell upon "Flower". "Flower" was very thirsty, so she had a drink in a nearby river. When she saw her reflection, she was shocked and shout out "oh ******* !". She was turned into a monster called "SHITTO"! From that day, "Flower was known as "SHITTO"! She was famous because she was the only species in the world. Her nickname was "The Ugly Duck"! The moral of the story - NEVER KNOCKED DOWN A PERSON AND RUN AWAY. ALSO NO
by Gan Kar Hui, Goh Kim Mun, Looi Hui Ying and Leong Yoke Ping One day, Queen Lose talked to the computer. She asked, "Computer, computer, who on earth is the most beautiful woman on Earth?" And the computer answered her, "Keem White is the most beautiful woman on Earth." The Queen was angry ans she hit the computer with an axe (lame joke). Later, she called upon her bodyguard, Lazarus to kill Keem White. Lazarus sent his pet panda to bite Keem White. However, Keem White was saved by Peter Pan. Once again, Lazarus tried to kill Keem White again. This time, he used a M-16 machine gun to kill her. But it failed again. After a month, while Keem White was shopping, an evil minded promoter offered her a piece of pedigree. Without using her brain, Keem White "Ask For More". The evil minded promoter gave her 1 dozen packets of pedigree and Keem White finished it all. Soon Keem White was poisoned and called for help. She called "Wing Wah, Wing Wah, Wing Wah!" On the spot, Wing Wah appeared in a white volvo in front of Keem White. Immeadiately, Wing Wah kissed Keem White. Keem White was saved. She was impressed. After one night, Keem White was pregnant. She gave birth to her twins. Their daughters' were called Jessica and Adeline. They live in an extremely sad environment for years. The end.
by Ho Yi Jian and Choo Wai Wing Once upon a time in Singapore, there was a shanty prince named Ah Kiong. One day, he wanted to explore the island. So, he told his father, King Wing Wah that he wanted to leave the shanty. So, his father gave him an ass to ride on, a rusty fork and a rotten egg. Queen Seak Eng was so sad, she killed Ryan Giggs. So he set off into the city. He wandered far and wide on the back of his ass. One day, he saw a beautiful girl named Britney. He immeadiately fell in love with her. However, Britney Spears was suddenly kidnapped by 3 "Kai"'s who were led by an evil mage named Dick. So he set off on his ass to penetrate Dick's defences and kill him. He went to find the first kai. He broke his rusty fork but he managed to kill him. Then, he went to kill the second "kai" by savagely slamming his head on the "kai". After killing the secong "kai", he felt hungry and ate the rotten egg. Lastly, he found the third "kai" with Dick the evil mage and Britney. Britney screamed for help. But Alex felt like he wanted to shit (b'cos of the rotten egg) so he went to shit. After shitting, he found that Prince James already killed the last "kai" and was about to save Britney. But, the mage Dick screwed Prince James up by casting a spell on him. So Alex took the chance and killed Dick. But Britney took pity kissed Prince James and turned him into a frog. They ran off and got married. Alex was so sad. He found another girl named Christina and found she was much better rhan crappy Britney. He went back to the shanty with Christina on his ass. Queen Seak Eng and King Wing Wah were very happy. The celebrated by eating belacan. Alex and Christina lived happily ever after. A few days later, Prince James divorced Princess Britney because she wasn't that innocent and she was a lousy wife. Her body was full of bruises and she could not sing anymore. The world world celebrated in joy. The End.
by Mystique, Sardine, Dilla, Naz, Rafiki, WWY, Hajmar (aka Kavita, Geraldine, Dalila, Nazrul, Rafiq, Wei Yee, Hajar It was the year of 2000 A.C. Everyone who lived in thie frame of time was supposed to be megahip cool but there was an exception. (eerie music starts) It was none othere than the famous kiasu type person who still believes The Rock is handsome - CHAAANDERELLA! She was your typical gal - loved DICKNI, LIBOK shoes and drove a little red FURRARRI. But she stood out from the rest only 'cos she just loved belacan and prawn curry. She would kill just to get her hands on it. Anyway one day, as she drove her little red furrarri sje caught a guy wearing a Versey tux, Jammy Choo shoes and a stupid dilapilated crown covered in LED. She thought to herself, "Man, this guy must be stinking loaded!" and decided to knock him over. But the little red Furrarri mistook her mistress' thoughts and knocked him down. Screaming profanities at Chanderella, the guy who's name happened to be Brinjals decided to sue her. So he pulled out his LOKIA handphone and called his lawyer. In the end Chanderella was sued for a gazillion krones and since she didn't have that much money - having spent it on that oh so gorgeous HARMANI jacket - she decided to find it. In those days, the easiest way to find some dough was to join a gameshow or get it from ************. So, Chanderella joined a gameshow called "Who wants to be a Gazillionaire?". This gameshow was very easy 'cos it had 3 lifelines and you only have to answer 4 questions. The first question asked by MR ROTI JALA SANTAN was "Who will be the real gazillionaire?" and Chanderella answered you! She was correct and just missed being zapped by protons in a maximinimilimeter. (fast forward to last question) "Okay Miz Chanderella, this is your chance to get a gazillion krones, who do you think is the most sexiest person in the whole wide universe?" Since she didn't really know she used a lifeline and asked the mystical laptop, "Latop, laptop on the table, update me on this question and don't you dare give it to me in DOS format (technically incorrect statement)". The laptop answered, "please go to www.sexybabes.com and you'll find the answer. So off she went to sexybabes.com and found the answer (not disclosed?) In the end, she won a gazillion krones. One the way to Brinjal's condo, Chanderella was robbed by David Big Mouth and she chased after David Big Mouth with her bowling pin. They ranandrunranandrunranandrun until they reached a place called Taza Choo's. As she didn't have a Touch and Go card she couldn't get through. She then hired a private contact lense called Blondie. Jane Blondie who roamed the streets with her thrusty browser Scooby Doop. Jane Blondie used a beanie baby ladder and snuck into Taza Choo's. Then she sang the song Taza Choo (who was a maafan leader) and David Big Mouth hated - Paddlepop paddlepop super-duper yummy! and the whole maafan gang came begging on their knees and hands "Please stop, my left toe man David Bignuth with geeve you bach dhut gazillion krones and another zillion cronies have mercy..." [Why's that guy talking funny?] [That's b'cos he had a little pizza accent] [oh!] So as Jane Blondie and Scooby Doop wer on their way back to Chanderella's house they met Rav in Drain and Take One Dough - Sardine Salmon's two siamese boyfriends. While giving them a lift they begged her to give them 0.0000007% of the gazillion dollars and she agreed. In the end, Chanderella only managed to give the leftover money to Brinjals. But Brinjals forgave her and bacme to be smitten by her. They got married and lived happily ever after. [Really? That's so sweet] [nah, they got divorced after Chanderella could control her prawn and belacan craze and landed in Bandar Tun Razek secondary school to deal with all the other loonies and Brinjals started dating chanzel] [Who's Chanzel?][You know, the girl with the spikiest hair] [Well, that's another story]. |
