Amor Vincit Omnia - Ellone

Bye Bye Irvy (chapters 1-4)
By
Ellone

BYE BYE IRVY: a Final Fantasy VIII Flick!
(parody based on the hit Broadway show "Bye Bye Birdie")
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DISCLAIMERS: Final Fantasy VIII ©1999, 2000 Squaresoft. "Bye Bye Birdie" ©1960 Charles Strouse/Lee Adams/Michael Stewart. I recently watched "Bye Bye Birdie" at a friend's high school (school play) and somehow I started to imagine our beloved characters from FF8 portraying these characters... thus this fic has been written just to let my crazy imagination out. Oh yeah, there may be some changes and the songs in the play won't be too elaborate as it is in the actual script of the musical. Happy reading and let me know what you think!
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SHORT SUMMARY:
When Galbadia's hottest rock sensation, Irvine "Irvy" Kinneas, is inducted into the Galbadian Army, his manager, Cid Kramer, panics. But Cid's secretary, Edea, concocts one final publicity stunt -- Irvy will bid a typical Galbadian teenage girl good-bye with one last kiss on the Laguna Loire Tonight Show.
Rinoa Heartilly of Winhill, Galbadia wins the honor of receiving that kiss, but her boyfriend Squall Leonhart and her parents, General Caraway and Julia Heartilly, aren't too keen on the idea, especially when Irvy moves in turning everyone's life upside down!

THE CAST:
Cid Kramer - the stressed-out manager

Edea - Cid's secretary whom he's having an affair with

Irvine "Irvy" Kinneas - the legendary rock star, very popular with the ladies around the world

Rinoa Heartilly - president of the Winhill Chapter of the Irvy Kinneas Fan Club and the lucky girl who gets to have Irvy's televised "Goodbye Kiss" on "The Laguna Loire Tonight Show."

Squall Leonhart - Rinoa's jealous yet charming boyfriend.

General Caraway - Rinoa's overprotective father

Julia Heartilly - Rinoa's kindhearted mother

Angelo Heartilly- Caraway - Rinoa's little brother (I know she's a dog, but not in this story!)

Selphie Tilmitt - Rinoa's best friend, vice-president of the Winhill Chapter of the Irvy Kinneas Fan Club; the "real" obsessor of Irvy Kinneas.

The Officers of the Irvy Kinneas Fan Club, Winhill Chapter:
Quistis Trepe - secretary
Xu - treasurer
Ellone - publicity
Fujin - sargeant-in-arms

Squall's Buddies:
Zell Dincht - has a major crush on Selphie
Seifer Almasy - has a major crush on Quistis
Nida - has a major crush on Xu
Raijin - Fujin's younger brother, also has a major crush on Quistis

Ultimecia - Cid's obnoxious and overprotective mother

Mayor Dobe - Mayor of Winhill (yes, I know he's the mayor of FH, but give me a break...)

Laguna Loire - the world's famous night show host

Laguna Loire's Bodyguards:
Kiros Seagill
Ward Zabac

SETTING: Galbadia (Deling City & Winhill) during those lazy hazy days of being a teen in love...

INTRODUCTION:
Rinoa, Selphie, Quistis, Xu, Ellone, & Fujin singing...

RINOA:
Bye bye, Irvy
I'm gonna miss you so
Bye bye, Irvy
Why'd you have to go

SELPHIE:
No more sunshine
It followed you away
I'll cry, Irvy
Till you're home to stay

QUISTIS & XU:
I'll miss the way you smile,
As though it's just for me

ELLONE & FUJIN:
And each and every night,
I'll write you faithfully

ALL:
Bye bye, Irvy
It's awful hard to bear
Bye bye, Irvy
Guess I'll always caaaaaare...
Guess I'll always care...

At the end of the song, Selphie drops down in tears.

SELPHIE: OH IRVY!!!! DON'T LEAVE MEEEEEE!!!!

CHAPTER 1: The Legendary Rock Sensation is Drafted!

Deling City, Galbadia - one fateful day in the summer...

The talented dreaming musical manager Cid Kramer dashed through the office suite, looking completely stressed and panicked just by looking at his expression. He almost missed the door to the "Ulcidlou Agency" that he accidentally slipped himself right inside the door. He gets up without even a care whether he was hurt or not and yells out...

CID: (frantically) EDEA?!!! (he searched around the office to look for his secretary) EDEA?!! WHERE ARE YOU?!! (he spots Edea sitting on her desk, tapping on the keyboard madly, typing a long letter on her typewriter) Edea... what are you doing?

EDEA: (takes the paper out from her typewriter and hands it to Cid) My letter of resignation!

CID: (looking very shocked) Letter of... WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, EDEA?! You can't walk away from me now--- I need you... (he walks up to her and places his arms around her waist) please, Edea, stay...?

EDEA: (furious) Cid, I'm tired... I'm tired of being stuck behind this stupid desk in this stupid office of yours... (sighs) I thought you said that you were going to dissolve Ulcidlou so we can finally settle down together and have a family...

CID: (furious) Dissolve Ulcidlou? Are you crazy?? Don't you know that this whole company means a whole lot to me, especially for my family? Can't you see how uniquely I named this company "Ulcidlou", just for the symbolism of my family? "Ul," my mother; "cid," myself; and "lou"... (sighs) Oh Lou... may you rest in peace...

EDEA: (rolling her eyes) You're sighing about Lou?! But he's your German Shepard, Cid?! I thought we had this promise together that we're gonna dissolve Ulcidlou so you can finally take that test so that you can earn your certificate and become---

CID: (interrupts) Don't you dare say it, Edea!

EDEA: (continues on) -- a garden headmaster! (Cid frowns and moans) Cid, did you even tell your mother about us...?

CID: (gets nervous) Umm... uhh... that's beside the point... right now I TRULY, MADLY, DEEPLY need you right now... have you heard the news about our dear previous Irvy Kinneas? He's being drafted to serve in the Galbadian Army! Can you believe that?! If I lose Irvy, I'm going to lose the company, and I'm going to be miserable for the rest of my musical career... don't you see that, Edea?

EDEA: (frowns) Well, at least we'd still have each other and you'd be on your way to becoming a garden headmaster!

CID: (screams) NOOOO... (stars to hyperventilate a little) Please, just this one last time, Edea... I know you're good at coming up for some great ideas that'll attract our fans and all the fan clubs all over the world, please Edea, I'm begging down on my knees... (he bends down on the floor and starts to beg right at Edea)

EDEA: (frowns but reluctantly agrees) Fine, Cid... just this one last time... one more screw up and it's OVER, you hear me? Eight years of putting up with you really means something to me, and if you decide to forget about our promises I'm leaving, got that?!

CID: (sighs in relief) I promise with all my heart, Edea... (the couple kiss. Edea heads to a set of index card boxes, opens one, and reaches her hand to pick a random card) What are you doing...?

EDEA: (clears her throat) Well then, Cid Kramer, we're going to business on how to make this goodbye to Irvy event a very special and memorable one for all the fans all around! Now, starting today until the big day comes for Irvy to be drafted into the Galbadian Army, you will have the time to write a song for Irvy to sing called... (starts to think) ah... "One Last Kiss"!

CID: (confused) "One Last Kiss"...?

EDEA: (smiling) You heard me right, dear! Now, right now, I'm picking a random card from the file box where we store all the profiles of our Irvy Kinneas Fan Club in all charters of the world. We will have a televised last special concert for Irvy and in that event, I will be randomly selecting a card from this box---the card will reveal the name of that lucky girl whom Irvy is going to give a special goodbye kiss... and how are we going to televise it? All of this will take place in the Laguna Loire Tonight Show!

CID: (gasps) Why... that's a GREAT idea, Edea!

EDEA: (smirks) Of course it is a GREAT idea... all my ideas are always perfect! (clears her throat) Now, let's see what this card says here... (reads the card she randomly picked) Ah yes...here we go... Rinoa Heartilly of Winhill, Galbadia. She's the president of the Winhill Chapter of the Irvy Kinneas Fan Club. My, what a lucky girl indeed!

CID: (thinks) Winhill, huh...? Isn't that like... an isolated town or... something...?

EDEA: (continues on with her idea) We will be travelling by train, of course, to Winhill, and stay at a hotel there. We will have the Laguna Loire Tonight Show live there in Winhill.... ooh, there's going to be a lot of screaming fans going wild in that town... after all these years, Winhill will have the most memorable blast that they'll ever have in the history of their quiet, sleepy town! Well... so, what do you think...?

CID: (excited) A BRILLIANT IDEA, EDEA!! (he carries her round and round and they plant a kiss to each other) What a great goodbye for Irvy to the ladies! We are going to be legends, you and me... just you wait!

EDEA: (smiles) Well then... you deal with the "One Last Kiss" song and I'll deal with the folks at Esthar to see if they can come all the way to Winhill to have the Laguna Loire Show live in Winhill. After I deal with them, I call the lucky girl Rinoa Heartilly and tell her the great news!

The couple split to do their tasks. At the moment, Cid is at the piano, trying to create the right notes and the lyrics for the song "One Last Kiss."

CID: (thinks) Hmm... let's see... how about... (plays the piano and starts to sing...)

Oh, one last kiss,
Oh baby, what a bliss,
Oh yes I'll never miss,
Just turn your head like this...

(tears off paper)

Hmm... that doesn't sound right... how about...? (he starts to jot down more words on a piece of paper, as he continued on composing and writing the lyrics for Irvy's new and possibly the last song Irvy Kinneas may sing before he joins the Galbadian Army)

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END CHAPTER 1 (to be continued...)

THE CAST: (forgot to add them in ch. 1's list)
RAINE - Ellone's mother; Julia Heartilly's best friend

CHAPTER 2: Rinoa and Squall

Winhill, Galbadia - same day...

Now that we've met the folks behind the sensational popularity of rock star Irvy Kinneas, we now head down south of Galbadia to a sleepy, quiet, peaceful, yet filled-with-color Winhill, Galbadia, where the destined receiver of the "goodbye kiss" Rinoa Heartilly, resides. While secretary Edea tries to get a hold of the free-spirited seventeen-year-old girl, a big fuss had just spread out all over Winhill that it seemed that all the telephone lines around the small town were occupied. Many of the old folks and the adult folks have been complaining all over town because the lines were busy. Right now, we focus our eyes on a couple of old folks of Winhill just sitting down and enjoying the Winhill breeze at the local pub.

OLD FOLK #1: Those damn youngins'.... what's so neat about two people gettin' together anyway??

OLD FOLK #2: (chuckling) Bah, they're just kids... let them have their fun...

OLD FOLK #3: (clears throat) But it's been almost FOUR HOURS that all our phone lines are busy! I have to call my doctor to set up my appointment... argh!!

OLD FOLK #4: (chuckling) Well, whatever it was, at least it made Winhill exciting today! Gotta love 'em kids...

OTHER OLD FOLKS: Whatever....

We then delve deeper in the sleepy town to see what was going on with those phone lines... We head to the bedroom of Irvy Kinneas Fan Club secretary Quistis Trepe, whom she was just blow drying her hair in front of the mirror after she stepped out from her bathroom when suddenly, her phone on her side table rang.

QUISTIS: (picks up the phone) Hello...?

XU: (starts to sing)
Hi Quistis!

QUISTIS: (starts to sing)
Hi Xu! What's the story, morning glory...?

XU:
What's the word, little bird?
Have you heard about Rinoa and Squall?

We now head to Ellone's bedroom... similar situation as Quistis and Xu over the phone.

ELLONE: (also on the phone, singing...)
Hi Fujin!

FUJIN: (starts to sing...)
Hi Ellone!

ELLONE:
What's the story, morning glory...?

FUJIN:
What's the tale, nightingale...?
Have you heard about Rinoa and Squall?

Later that day, the four girls gather around Quistis' bedroom with Quistis dialing the phone, continuously singing...

QUISTIS, XU, ELLONE, & FUJIN:
Have you heard about Rinoa?
And that cutie named Squall?
Did our Rinoa cry?
Or was Squall just too shy?

Quistis finishes dialing the phone and speaks on the receiver:

QUISTIS:
Have you heard about Rinoa?

We head to the other side of the line to see who Quistis was talking to...

ZELL: (he was just sitting on his dining table at home, eating hotdogs, hearing Quistis' voice on his phone, singing along)
Yeah, yeah...

QUISTIS: (over the phone)
And that cutie named Squall?

ZELL: (eyes widened with surprise)
Wha... what? Squall??

QUISTIS:
Oh it must be true love!

ZELL: (scratching his head)
Holy moley!!

QUISTIS:
What a blessing from above!

ZELL: (struggles to get his phone book, hangs up and dials the phone)
Yo Seifer, Raijin!! Dig this!! (starts to sing)
Have you heard about Squall?

SEIFER: (gets up from his barbell bench after working out, talking on the phone, singing along)
Who...? What...?

RAIJIN: (wiping the sweat off his head)
Ya know, about the girl who likes Squall?

SEIFER: (confused)
You mean Rinoa? What about it??

ZELL:
They're together, Rinoa and Squall!

SEIFER: (shocked)
Man, that Squall's got it all!

Meanwhile somewhere nearby them, a young man named Nida dials the phone and sings...

NIDA: (nervous)
Hello, Mrs. Tilmitt,
This is her friend Nida
Can I speak to Selphie...?

Selphie takes the phone and answers (singing, of course)...

SELPHIE: (excited)
Have you heard about Rinoa?

NIDA: (almost loses his grip on the phone)
Wha... Selphie?!

SELPHIE:
And that cutie named Squall?

NIDA: (confused)
Uhhh... Selphie...?

SELPHIE: (excited)
All I can say is "wow"!

NIDA:
Selphie...?

SELPHIE: (too excited)
I CAN'T TALK TO YOU NOW! (she hangs up the phone and leaves to meet with her friends)

And so, word about Rinoa and Squall spreads out around the youth in Winhill. Everybody starts to get fussy all about it, as all of Winhill's teenagers come out with cell phones and cordless phones on their ears.

SELPHIE, QUISTIS, XU, ELLONE, & FUJIN: (runs out from Quistis' house and calls out to the whole town)
Going steady!

ZELL, SEIFER, & RAIJIN: (meeting up with the girls)
You know it, man!

GIRLS: (informs the three boys)
Going steady!

GUYS:
What a trip, man!

GIRLS:
Going steady!

GUYS:
Squall, that lucky lion...

GIRLS:
Going steady!

GUYS:
Oh yeah!

GIRLS:
Going steady!

GUYS:
Oh whoa!

ALL:
Going steady... steady for good!

GIRLS:
Going steady!

GUYS:
Oh yeah!

GIRLS:
Going steady!

GUYS:
Oh whoa!

ALL:
Going steady... steady for good!

SELPHIE, QUISTIS, XU, ELLONE, & FUJIN:
Rinoa's in love with Squall!

ZELL, SEIFER, & RAIJIN:
Now Squall has got it all!

Meanwhile, back at Nida's place...

NIDA: (still on the phone, nervous)
Hello, Miss Raine
This is her friend Nida
Can I speak to Ellone...?

Later at a phone booth, the guys are on the phone with Seifer holding the receiver...

ZELL, SEIFER, & RAIJIN:
Yo there, Squall!
Hi ya, stupid!
What the hell did you do to win her heart...?

We switch sides and we find Squall cleaning his gunblade while he's listening on his phone, grinning with a small smirk on his face...

SQUALL:
I can't tell you yet...

ZELL:
Hey, why not...?

SQUALL:
I'm busy right now...

SEIFER:
You're meeting Rinoa...?

SQUALL:
Why are you asking...?

RAIJIN: (excited)
Tell us about you and Rinoa!

SQUALL:
Whatever... I gotta go now... later! (hangs up)

ZELL, SEIFER, & RAIJIN:
SQUALL?!

We return again to Nida's place... up to now he's still on the phone...

NIDA:
Hello, head of the school disciplinary committee...
IS FUJIN BACK THERE YET?!

Back to Winhill Town Square, where all the youngsters are "celebrating" with their phones...

GIRLS: (excited while singing)
Well, oh well, doooo tell...

GUYS:
Going steady, going steady...

GIRLS: (excited while singing)
Well, oh well, doooo tell...

ALL: (all singing and dancing around the nearby phone booths, going insanely excited)

Have you heard about Rinoa?
And that cutie named Squall?
After all of these days...
Today they are now...

GIRLS:
Going steady!

GUYS:
Oh yeah!

GIRLS:
Going steady!

GUYS:
Uh huh!

ALL:
Going steady... steady for good!
Going steady! Going steady!
Going steady...
OHHHHHHH YEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!

After all the hype around Winhill about these two young lovers Rinoa Heartilly and Squall Leonhart, everything in Winhill went back to its isolated, peaceful, sleepy, and dull atmosphere. We now go back to those old folks at the pub, where they start their usual conversation again.

OLD FOLK #1: (yawning) Oh my great Hyne... what has come to kids today...?

OLD FOLK #2: (yawning) At least the telephone lines are open again... I wonder what else can go wrong after this...?

An hour later the news spread around town, we now head to the very bedroom of the girl whom everyone was fussing about in the telephone lines. We now see seventeen-year-old Rinoa Heartilly, lying down in relaxed mode on her bed, gazing both at her ring with a lion insignia on it on a necklace around her neck and a sterling silver-framed photo of Squall Leonhart, gently tracing it with her finger. Just by the look of her eyes and by the way she smiled, we all knew right away one thing about her--- Rinoa is in love with the boy in the sterling-silver photo frame.

RINOA: (whispering to herself) Oh Squall... Squall... Squall... everytime I hear your name everywhere... it completely makes me all weak and faint and... ohhh Squall.... (she stares back at the ring on her necklace) Oh I'll never EVER EVER lose your ring... it's the most beautiful, precious treasure I have ever seen and now you placed it around a silver chain so I can wear it, since the ring's too big for my finger... Squall Leonhart, I will love you forever... and ever... and ever... and ever... (she gently kisses the picture frame and sighs in blissfulness when her phone at her side table rang) Oh great... who is it calling now...? (she answers the phone) Hello...?

SELPHIE: (over the phone, sounding very gossipy right now) Rinoa Heartilly, how could you??

RINOA: (confused and chuckles) Selphie, what are you talking about...?

SELPHIE: The word is OUT, you know? Is it true about you and Squall...? Together...? As in steady...? Boyfriend and girlfriend...?

RINOA: (giggles softly) I love him with all my heart, you know...

SELPHIE: (gasps) My Hyne, Rinoa! Why didn't you even tell us about it??

RINOA: (giggling) Selphie, it just happened earlier today... oh it's sooo romantic... and he's sooo sweet...

SELPHIE: (giggles) I bet... I know that other than our divine hotness Irvy Kinneas, every girl in all of Winhill were all eyeing on Squall for such a long, long time... I mean, I'm like still wondering how a cutie such as Squall would even fall for you!

RINOA: (sighs in bliss) It doesn't matter... Squall and I are together now! (stares at her ring again) Ever since we were younger it was always Squall who appeared in all my dreams... at first I tried to ignore it and try to dream myself with Irvy Kinneas, but Squall.... (sighs again)

SELPHIE: (giggling) Okay, okay, Rinoa, first up, you've GOTTA tell us what happened!

RINOA: (clears throat) Okay... well, it all happened near the beach when I was just waiting for my dad and brother to fix a small tent down there when Squall happened to be there, just wading around the beach by himself. We saw each other and we started talking alone. I was so nervous because I didn't know what to say to him and I didn't want to make a bad impression to him, you know...? But... since we were kids I always liked him. He was brave, kind, tall, strong, but he can be really dangerous if you try to mess with him. Everybody was scared of him because of his tough yet cool image, but he was so nice to me... I mean, even while we were obsessing over Irvy Kinneas I just couldn't stop thinking about him. I knew there were lots of girls who were after him, but I was so scared that if Squall gets a girlfriend that he'd stop talking to me anymore. It was right that then during our Irvy thing that I realized that... I was deeply in love with Squall, but decided not to reveal it to anybody because I was embarrassed...

SELPHIE: (chuckles) Hey, this is Squall Leonhart we're talking about anyways, Rinoa. But it's okay, you know...? At least you've found someone to fall in love with in real life... I guess you missed out on the real world when we were too busy listening and going crazy over Irvy's albums, you know? But hey... now your dreams have come true now... you and Squall are together now, perfectly in love with each other...

RINOA: (sighs in bliss) Squall came to me when he saw me crying... he wiped them away and told me not to cry... he said that no matter what trouble brings me, he'll always be there for me... and if I do come to him, I will find him there... and he will bring me home, he said...

SELPHIE: (sighs dreamily) Home... to his arms... huh, Rin? (she hears Rinoa sighing deeply) Squall must be really sweet... I mean, I personally don't know him that well since I'm kinda intimidated by him, but hey, if he's really caring for you, YOU GO GIRL!!!

RINOA: (giggles) Thanks, Selphie... but anyway... I always wanted to tell him how I feel for him ever since back then but I was also intimidated just like everybody else. I was afraid that if I told him that I love him, that I'm in love with him, and that I want to spend the rest of my life with him, he would be really mad and would stop talking to me anymore... Selphie, I know that I've always talked about Squall to you guys but you don't seem to pay attention to me because of our Irvy obsession...

SELPHIE: (giggles) Hey, don't say that... we listen to you... I mean, shoo... like everytime we see Squall around town, it's like we're seeing Irvy at the same time!

RINOA: (sighs) I may still have my Irvy obsession, but Irvy's nothing compared to Squall Leonhart... (gazes at her photo again and blows a kiss)

SELPHIE: (chuckles) Uh-oh... sounds like your Irvy obsession BECAME Squall obsession, Rinoa! But anyways, Squall's REALLY cute... he's like the cutest, most dashing, hottest, and especially the sexiest guy in all of Winhill! You know, I'm glad that he wasn't a rock star like Irvy 'cuz if he did, you'd never have a chance on being with him at all... did you know that Quisty used to have a crush on Squall long time ago?

RINOA: (gasps) What?! I didn't know that... why didn't Quisty tell me...? (sighs)

SELPHIE: (giggles) It was just a silly little crush, Rinoa! Squall don't even pay attention to Quisty anyways... but seriously, Rinoa, it sounds like YOU and Squall are MEANT for each other... oooh, you're such a lucky duck, you know that, Rin?

RINOA: (clings on to her photo) I love him I love him I love him I love him... (the two girls giggle)

SELPHIE: Anyways Rin, get to the point of the story, what EXACTLY happened...?

RINOA: Well, Squall confessed to me how much he cared for me ever since we were younger and how he really wants to take care of me for the rest of my life... and then he whispered on my ear...

SQUALL'S VOICE: (in imaginary mode) I love you, Rinoa Heartilly... I would never leave you stranded... I've taken care of your for so long since chilhood that I feel very obliged and destined that I should stay with you for the rest of our lives... and I was wondering...

RINOA'S VOICE: (in imaginary mode) Yes, Squall...?

SQUALL'S VOICE: (whispers) Will you be... mine...?

RINOA'S VOICE: (gasps happily, as she holds him tight) Squall, are you serious?! Oh Squall!! (Squall places a silver chain around Rinoa's neck with his ring with the lion insignia in it, as they share their first tender kiss)

Back to reality...

SELPHIE: (gasps) Did he kiss you?

RINOA: (giggles) Of course...

SELPHIE: (shrieks) OOOOOH!!! You've gotta tell me how it felt like being kissed by a hunk like Squall, girl!

RINOA: (sighs in bliss again) Mmmm... words just cannot describe the kiss of the lionhearted fighter like Squall Leonhart... it's so hard to describe it... it's like... a very hot tingling sensation just flowed down through your body that it makes you feel like... you want more from him...

SELPHIE: (awed) Awwwwwwww... Wow... well I have to admit that Squall can be a romantic sometimes, but he's awfully quiet...

RINOA: Well then, now that I have my Squall in my life, I feel as if I have developed to a new level of life now...

SELPHIE: (worried) Wait... what are you talking about, Rin?

RINOA: I'm planning to step down as president of the Irvy Kinneas Fan Club...

SELPHIE (shrieks) WHAT?! BUT... BUT... RINOA...? WHY??

RINOA: Oh, don't be shocked, Selphie... I mean I still like Irvy Kinneas and still listen to his music, but the Irvy Pledge and the Irvy Anthem and the Irvy Scream has gone way behind me now... let's just say that I'm no longer as devoted to Irvy as much as I was before...

SELPHIE: (panics) You mean you won't lead us the Irvy Pledge anymore...? You mean you will never going to do the Irvy Scream anymore...? You mean that when you see the sight of the great legend Irvy Kinneas up in front of you, that means you will never ever scream like this?: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! (screams loudly like a complete crazed fan. After the scream, Selphie clears her throat) Oh Rinoa... you're really going to miss out so much...

RINOA: (giggles) How can you say that...? I'm deeply in love, Selphie... and besides, I think you'd make a better president than I would, now that I'm with Squall...

SELPHIE: (sniffs away her tears) This is all Squall's fault... he's taking you away from us...

RINOA: (softly giggles) Oh Selphie, don't say that... I'm still devoted to Irvy, you know... just not as much as reciting the pledge and doing the Irvy Scream, you know...?

JULIA'S VOICE: (calling from downstairs) RINOA?!

RINOA: (calls down) Yes, Mother?

JULIA'S VOICE: Please wash the dishes downstairs for me, thank you!

RINOA: (back to the phone) I'm so sorry, Selphie, but I have to go now. My mother's calling me from downstairs...

SELPHIE: Well... um... we'd still have these secret Irvy meetings, right...? Just us officers? You, me, Quisty, Xu, Elle, and Fu?

RINOA: (soft chuckle) Of course, Selphie...

SELPHIE: (sighs sadly) Bye, Rinoa...

RINOA: (excitedly) Bye-bye, Selphie! (they hang up. Rinoa throws herself down her bed and takes her picture frame of Squall again... she gazes back at the photo and blushes crimson red) Words just cannot describe your utter charm, my love... from now on, it's going to be you and me together... forever... and always... (kisses the picture again and stands up) I'll be right back, my lionhearted knight... (blows a kiss at at the picture and heads downstairs)

In the meantime while the two best friends spoke to each other on the phone, we meet with the boys outside the pub. It looks like they're playing a good game of Triple Triad cards at a table, with Squall and Seifer playing while Zell, Nida, and Raijin watch.

SEIFER: (angrily dumps his cards on to the table) DAMMIT, SQUALL! WHY DO YOU ALWAYS WIN?!

ZELL: (mocking Seifer) 'Cuz Squall's got it all, Seifer!

SEIFER: (glares at Zell) Ah shut up, Chicken-wuss! I didn't ask for your opinion...

ZELL: (glares at Zell and stands up, forming fists) WHAT'D YOU CALL ME, PUNK-ASS?!

NIDA: (gets in between the two) Now now, let's not fight, okay? Come on, today should be a good day, right? I mean, we're here to celebrate Squall's victory, I mean, Squall's... umm...

SEIFER: (rolls his eyes and backs away from Zell) Tsk... fine...

ZELL: (backs away) Yeah, whatever...

RAIJIN: (sits down between Squall and Seifer) Man, I still don't get it, ya know? I mean, we all know that you've been having the hots for Rinoa for a long time in secret, but damn, man... how'd you do it, ya know?

SQUALL: (lowers down and thinks) Well...

SEIFER: Hey, if that's the case, Squall, ya gotta tell us your secret! I mean, how'd you get a girl like Rinoa to like you back? Wait... stupid question, never mind...

ZELL: Man, I bet Rinoa's been having a crush on Squall since day one, yo!

NIDA: (thinks) Wait... I thought she was a big fanatic of Irvy Kinneas? Whatever happened to her Irvy obsession? Squall, you're not telling us the whole story, man... I mean, how'd you get Rinoa to change from a Selphie Tilmitt-counterpart to a Squall Leonhart-obsessed chick?

ZELL: (glares at Nida) HEY, DON'T TALK ABOUT MY WOMAN LIKE THAT, NIDA!

SEIFER: (rolls his eyes) Man, she ain't your woman, Zell!

ZELL: (gets up again and glares at Seifer) Not yet but she will be, just you wait! I don't see Quistis Trepe drooling all over you everytime we pass by the babes' hangout...

SEIFER: (sarcastic) Well it ain't like Selphie's drooling at you either...

NIDA: (getting ready to get in between them again) Hey, come on, forget about yourselves, this is all for Squall.... right, Squall?

SQUALL: (shrugs as he shuffles his cards) Whatever...

RAIJIN: (anxious) Aw come on, Squall... you haven't even answered my question yet, ya know? What's up with you and Rinoa, ya know?

ZELL/SEIFER/NIDA: Yeah, Squall! What's up with you and her?!

SQUALL: (starts thinking again, reluctantly telling them his side of the story) Fine, I'll tell you guys... here's what happened... (the four guys get closer to him) What the hell...? You all back away from me... you're making me nervous...

NIDA: (gulps) Sorry, Squall... go ahead...

SQUALL: Well... see... umm... it all happened in the beach, really... and I've been planning to tell her how I feel someday... I guess it really was fate.

ZELL: And then...?

SQUALL: Rinoa and I have known each other since we were kids and I remembered how much Rinoa was bullied and picked on by other people... I was always there for her, fighting off all the people picking on her so to make her happy. I never really asked myself why I do this for her, but I don't care anymore. I felt as if...

ZELL/SEIFER/NIDA/RAIJIN: Yeah...?

SQUALL: Well... anyway... years have passed... all of us have grown up... Rinoa suddenly just became this... this beautiful teen queen that I almost knocked myself out just by looking at her... I knew there were some guys who wanted to go out with her, but she always rejected them because of her obsession to Irvy Kinneas...

SEIFER: Man, I still don't get it, Squall... if she's so obsessed with Irvy Kinneas, I mean, she IS the president of the Winhill Chapter of the Irvy Fan Club, right? I mean, if she's so obsessed with Irvy so much, how'd you get HER to like you back...?

SQUALL: (soft chuckle) She was lonely when I saw her in the beach. She was sitting all alone, looking out at the sea. She didn't look too happy. I guess she seemed that she was missing out in the real world when she found out that I've been having phone calls from girls all over Winhill asking for a date...

ZELL: (groans) Dammit, how come I DON'T get that kind of charm toward the ladies, man? You know how much I always wanted to ask Selphie out? All she talks about is "Irvy this..." and "Irvy that..." It's not like she's gonna end up marrying a rock star anyway...

SQUALL: (shrugs) Not my fault, Zell...

RAIJIN: (thinks) So it's like a destiny thing and stuff, ya know? I mean ever since we were kids we all knew that Squall's got it all, ya know?

SEIFER: (rolls eyes) Yeah yeah, nobody cares about you, Zell... go ahead, Squall, continue...

SQUALL: (continues) Yeah, fine... anyway, so I saw her just sitting there looking depressed so I went up to her and we just started talking.

NIDA: (interrupts) What'd you guys talk about?

SQUALL: Basically everything... but it was more focused on me and her... and how our friendship is going to affect us in the future... and... I dunno it was weird... she started talking about how she knew about countless girls drooling over me and how she was afraid that she'd lose me and stuff... and... I felt the same way... ever since kids I just couldn't keep my eyes away from her... it was at that point that... all along I was deeply in love with her... if I were gonna miss the opportunity to let her know how I feel for her, I decided to not miss this moment by telling her straight out right there. I told her that I'll always be there for her whenever she's down, and that if she comes to me... I'll take her home...

ZELL/SEIFER/NIDA/RAIJIN: (simultaneously) Home... to your arms! (Squall lowers his head down, slaps his forehead, and shakes his head)

SQUALL: Then from there, she beat me to the punch by revealing her feelings for me. I was pretty surprised that she didn't even mention her Irvy obsession while she's around me... I guess Irvy was just a fling for her... but with me... it was something else... so I told her that I love her... and asked her if she would like to be my girl... she said yes, of course... I gave her my lion ring so she can think of me while we're apart and... the rest is history... (he shyly scratches his head) so... yeah, that's it...

NIDA: (interrupts) So did you kiss her?

SQUALL: (grins) Of course I did. I love her... I always wanted to kiss her for a long time, but I was too scared... she really liked it and we just kissed each other.

NIDA: (sighs) Squall Leonhart, I, Nida, am very envious of you...

ZELL: Dude, I didn't know you're a hopeless romantic, man...

NIDA: Man, no wonder we thought that your ring was missing on your finger... you gave your ring to her?? (Squall smiles gently) Whoa...

SEIFER: (sighs) That was beautiful, man... (pats Squall on the shoulder) REALLY beautiful... now I gotta try that same method with Quistis Trepe...

RAIJIN: (smirks) Man, Seifer, you got no originality, ya know?

SEIFER: (glares) And what makes you think that you're gonna get Quistis to yourself, huh? You wanna get up and duke it out?!

NIDA: (gets in between Seifer and Raijin) Hey, knock it off, you two! (the two sit right back down, eyes still glaring at each other) Besides, there's no way that we're gonna win their hearts anyway...

ZELL: Dude, why'd you say that?

NIDA: (rolls his eyes) They're all after the same dude, you know?! Irvy Kinneas!!

SEIFER/RAIJIN: (moans in disgust) Ugh...

NIDA: You heard me... all the chicks we're trying to get with are all obsessed with Irvy Kinneas, don't forget that!

RAIJIN: (laughs) You're gonna have the biggest problem, Zell, 'cuz you're all obsessed with Selphie Tilmitt!

ZELL: (smirks) Heh... the harder they get, the better I like the situation even more...

SQUALL: (shakes his head) Whatever, Zell... good luck... (the other guys started laughing at Zell, as Squall places his deck of cards on the table, turning himself around from the crowd. He started to contemplate by himself again, thinking of what to do next.) (I'm gonna go home now... I'm tempted to call you, Rinoa... I miss you... I know we had to part because of reasons, but... I miss you already, love... Hmm, what should I do with these four clowns... leave 'em...?)

SEIFER: (clears throat) This is it, guys... right tomorrow, I shall reveal my feelings for the fair and lovely Quistis Trepe despite of her obsession to Irvy Kinneas!

RAIJIN: (sticks tongue) Why tomorrow, Seifer?

SEIFER: (glares) Shut up, Raijin!

SQUALL: (stands up from his seat) Welp, guys, nice playing Triple Triad with you all... I'm heading home... gonna take a nap...

ZELL: (smirks) Are you gonna call Rinoa and "get it on" over the phone? Hehe...

SQUALL: (rolls his eyes) Whatever... (he makes his way out of the table and salutes at them) See you later, guys...

ZELL/SEIFER/NIDA/RAIJIN: Later, Squall!

Later that day, we go back to the Heartilly-Caraway residence, where we find the whole family downstairs. Rinoa was just wiping the counters of the kitchen while Julia was just slicing the ingredients for their dinner tonight. Rinoa's father, Galbadian General Caraway and her ten-year-old brother, Angelo, were at the living room watching their favorite sitcom on TV. While doing their normal tasks, their phone rings.

JULIA: (calls out) PLEASE ANSWER THE PHONE, DEAR! (Gen. Caraway and Angelo did not budge. Their eyes were right at the TV) Oh great... why do I have to do everything here by myself... (she heads to the living room and answers the phone) Hello...? Yes, this is the Heartilly Residence... yes...? Yes...? Alright, hold on... (she calls out again) RINOA! PHONE FOR YOU!

RINOA: (arrives at the living room and takes the receiver) Why thank you, Julia.

JULIA: (not noticing what Rinoa just called her) Well, the lady's been trying to call us for almost two hours and our line has always been busy, said it was something impo--- (right at that moment, she just realized what her daughter just called her) Wait a minute... "Julia"?! What did you say?!

RINOA: (chuckles) I said "Thank you, Julia."

JULIA: (turns away) Great...

RINOA: (to the phone) Hello...? Yes, this is Rinoa Heartilly, how can I help you...? Yes, I'll hold... (to Julia) Oh, don't fret about it so much, Julia... you do know that I have become a woman, correct? Besides, I believe that women calling their mothers by their first names would make them be more like pals...

JULIA: (rolls eyes) Great... just great... since you were born I've always been your mother. Now I'm a pal. Couldn't you just call me "Mom"? That's more like "pal" enough to me...

RINOA: (yawns) Oh Julia, Julia, Julia... you do know that times are changing, correct? It's time for us to be more current rather than being stuck in the past, you know? And believe me, you're really going to get along with the world easily if you go by the current standards of living... (back to the phone) Yes, thank you... yes, I got your message... Irvy Kinneas is going to kiss me goodbye on the Laguna Loire Show, thank you... goodbye. (hangs up the phone without even noticing it. She heads to an empty spot on the sofa to join her dad and brother when all of a sudden, her eyes widened with surprise) Oh...... my........ great......... Hyne....... (Gen. Caraway and Angelo look up to Rinoa with weird looks. Rinoa suddenly stands up from her seat and stares right at her mother) Julia...?? (gasps even more) MOMMY?!!! (suddenly goes hysterical) OH MY GOSH!!!! OH MY GOSH!!!!! OH MY GOSH!!!!

JULIA: (blinks) Hm? What's wrong, dear...?

RINOA: (grabs her mother's wrists excitedly) IT'S IRVY KINNEAS!! HE'S GONNA KISS ME... OH GREAT HYNE, THE IRVY KINNEAS IS GOING TO KISS ME GOODBYE!!! (suddenly hugs her mother tightly) OH MOTHER!!!!!! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S COMING HERE TO WINHILL!!!!

JULIA: (standing still, as she places her arms around her hyper daughter) Well then... umm... I really don't know how to say this, but.... may the Great Hyne bless Irvy Kinneas... (she glanced right at her husband and her son, who were not even paying attention to the situation that just happened right now)

After hours of trying to deliver the message, Rinoa Heartilly finally received the news. Whatever happened to her true love obsession to her new boyfriend Squall Leonhart...? Would the appearance and the "goodbye kiss" by Irvy Kinneas ever going to affect the special romantic relationship between Rinoa and Squall...? Find out later in Chapter 3 of "Bye Bye Irvy"... stay tuned!

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END CHAPTER 2 (to be continued...)

It seems like Winhill was about to be transformed from a boring, sleepy little town into Galbadia's most happening hometown in history! Other than the big fuss about two popular teenagers Rinoa Heartilly and Squall Leonhart together in love as a couple, another big fuss was about to emerge from the heart of Winhill. The rock sensation Irvy Kinneas is coming over to Winhill in a special goodbye show at the world famous Laguna Loire Tonight Show. Irvy was to kiss the one selected by his manager and the secretary goodbye right on television, viewed by all of the population around the world. The only problem with this is that Rinoa is already taken by Squall... what would come next if Squall hears about this news about Irvy kissing his girl in front of the camera and in front of the world...?

The news starts off with two neighbors, Julia Heartilly and Raine, her best friend, her next-door neighbor, and the mother of one of Rinoa's pals, Ellone. The two women chat hopelessly about Julia's daughter being chosen to be bestowed the "goodbye kiss" from Irvy at the Laguna Loire Tonight Show. Obviously this piece of news must be spread out of all Winhill anyway, since the famed Laguna Loire will appear in Winhill as well to shoot his special edition of his prime time show.

RAINE: (watering the potted plants near the Heartilly-Caraway Family's fence, noticing Julia dancing around happily while watering her own plants) Well, Julia, I see you're very happy today?

JULIA: (sighs in bliss) Ah yes, I feel SO proud and SO blessed by the Great Hyne... oh, what great luck!

RAINE: (chuckling softly) Uhh... am I missing something here, Julia?

JULIA: (giggles and stops watering her plants) We've got a call all the way from Deling City... it was the secretary of the manager of the popular Irvy Kinneas, to be exact...

RAINE: (laughs) Ah, Irvy Kinneas! Of course, how can I forget? My daughter Ellone just could not stop talking about him since she was twelve! That girl worships the popular young musician... Anyway, so... wait... his secretary called you?!

JULIA: (laughs) Well actually, it was for Rinoa... she just told her that Irvy Kinneas will be coming over to Winhill along with Laguna Loire to have a special final show before Irvy enlists in the Galbadian Army! Laguna will have his show set there LIVE, and in that show, Irvy will be kissing Rinoa goodbye, right in front of billions of people around the world via TV! Oh, what a wonderful, blissful piece of news this is!!

RAINE: (shocked to hear the news) Wait--- are you serious, Julia?! THE Laguna Loire?? THE Irvy Kinneas?? Here?? In Winhill?? Kissing your daughter goodbye on TV at the Laguna Loire Tonight Show?!!!!

JULIA: (gasps) YES!!! OH, GOODNESS, WE NEED TO PREPARE FOR THEIR WELCOME HERE IN WINHILL!!! I MAY PROBABLY EVEN INVITE THEM TO STAY OVER AT OUR PLACE, SINCE WE'RE THE LUCKY GIRL'S FAMILY, RIGHT?!!

RAINE: (going hysterical) OH GOOD HYNE!! THIS IS GREAT NEWS!! ALL OF WINHILL WILL DEFINITELY GOING CRAZY OVER ALL THIS!! I DON'T CARE MUCH ABOUT IRVY KINNEAS, BUT LAGUNA LOIRE?!!

JULIA/RAINE: (simultaneously) WE'RE GOING TO BE ON THE LAGUNA LOIRE TONIGHT SHOW!!!

While the two mothers chat, two old folks pass by them, overhearing their conversation...

OLD FOLK #5: Did you say that Laguna Loire is coming over here to host his show?! Here in Winhill??

JULIA/RAINE: (simultaneously) YES!!!

OLD FOLK #6: (gasps) Oh my Great Hyne!! I've never missed a single show of the Laguna Loire Show, and now he's coming over here?!

JULIA/RAINE: (simultaneously) YES!!!

OLD FOLK #5: Ooooh dear... this would definitely be another fuss around Winhill since those two youngins got together as a couple or... something like that... luckilly it ain't about another youth thing that would drive us old folks crazy again...

JULIA: (gasps) And Irvy Kinneas is coming over here too along with Laguna Loire--- he's going to kiss my Rinoa in front of the TV camera!!!

OLD FOLK #6: (gulps) Ai-yaaaa.... we spoke too soon... not again... not again... damn they youngins'...

Now that we've got the adults' reaction to the piece of news, we now head towards the Winhill Malt Shop, where the officers of the Winhill Chapter of the Irvy Kinneas Fan Club have their official meetings. Right at the entrance, we see Selphie entering the malt shop. Next to the door is a small magazine stand. Majority of these magazines have Irvy Kinneas's face at the cover. This completely drove Selphie wild, as she grabs one magazine and kisses the magazine cover.

SELPHIE: (kissing the cover) MWAH! Oh Irvy... how... oh tell me how... oh tell me how you can ever have that dreamy voice of yours everytime you sing your tunes... and how you look soooo good and sexy everytime you shake your bon-bon from left... to right... and back... and forth... tell me... tell me... ohhhh TELL ME!!! (a couple of people pass by her, giving her weird looks. She then dashes to an empty table and sits down, looking around the malt shop, waiting for the others to arrive.)

QUISTIS: (she and Fujin arrive and spots Selphie waiting) SELPHIE!! (she and Fujin sit around her, with Quistis on Selphie's left and Fujin on Selphie's right)

FUJIN: (confused) RINOA... WHERE?

SELPHIE: (frowns) Thank Hyne you guys finally arrived... what took you so long?!

QUISTIS: (blinks) You called us like a minute ago... I was taking a shower when you called me... calm down, Selph!

FUJIN: (she notices the magazine Selphie is holding and immediately grabs it from her. She gazes at the magazine cover with a big smile) IRVY... MINE... (she holds the magazine tight and cuddles it around) IRVY MINE MINE MINE MINE...

SELPHIE: (frowns) HEY, FU, GET YOUR OWN MAGAZINE!! (Selphie attempts to take the magazine back, as Fujin turns away from her with the magazine against her chest)

FUJIN: (sticks her tongue at Selphie) IRVY... MINE!!

Before things can go a little crazy between Selphie and Fujin, Ellone and Xu arrive, dashing towards their table...

ELLONE/XU: (simultaneously) What's going on?! What's so important?!

SELPHIE: (clears throat) Now that we are all present...

XU: (wonders) Wait a minute, where's our president?

SELPHIE: (hushes) Xu, we're having this secret meeting 'cuz it's all about Rinoa... we don't wanna talk about it in front of her now, you know... besides, I'm the vice-president... okay, you ready?

ELLONE: (frowns) This had better be good... you made me miss my favorite soap opera...

FUJIN: (smirks) SCANDAL!!

SELPHIE: (giggles) No, actually it's GREAT news, Fu!

FUJIN: (softly chuckles) OH. OKAY.

SELPHIE: Okay, here goes... (clears her throat) It's about Irvy Kinneas...

SELPHIE/QUISTIS/XU/ELLONE/FUJIN: (screaming hysterically) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!! (they all cleared their throats after they did the signature "Irvy Scream")

SELPHIE: You guys are NOT gonna believe this, but... word has it that Irvy Kinneas is going to kiss Rinoa Heartilly at the Laguna Loire Tonight Show right here in Winhill!!!

SELPHIE/QUISTIS/XU/ELLONE/FUJIN: (screaming hysterically again) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!! (they clear their throats again)

QUISTIS: (excited) Are you serious, Selphie?! That lucky duck Rinoa...

FUJIN: (excited) IRVY? RINOA? KISS? LAGUNA LOIRE? WINHILL? (gasps) WHEN???

SELPHIE: (clears her throat) They're coming over tomorrow!! That's what I heard from around the neighborhood!

XU: (excited) OH MY GOSH!! THAT WOULD MEAN THAT THE IRVY KINNEAS FAN CLUB WILL HAVE TO BE THE AMBASSADORS FOR WINHILL... WHICH MEANS...

ELLONE: (gasps happily) WE GET TO HANG OUT WITH IRVY DURING HIS STAY HERE AT WINHILL!!!

QUISTIS: (gasps) Oh! Oh! Oh! What are we gonna say to Irvy when he's about to leave for the Galbadian Army...? I mean, we have to have a proper goodbye other than Rinoa getting kissed by him, you know?

ELLONE: (sighs in bliss) You know what I'm gonna say when it was time for our final goodbye...? (grins happily) Have a goooood time in the Galbadian Army, Irvy...

FUJIN: (sticks her tongue out) ELLONE. BLAND. ME... IRVY! YOU. ME. BED. NOW. GO. BYE!

XU: (laughs) Fu, you're a little... demanding, aren't you, hun?

FUJIN: (hugs the magazine tightly with a big grin and a blissful sigh) IRVY... MIIIIIIINE...

SELPHIE: (gasps) You know how I'm going to say goodbye to Irvy when that day comes...?

QUISTIS/XU/ELLONE/FUJIN: How?

SELPHIE: Here's what I'm going to say to Irvy... (starts to sing...)
Bye bye, Irvy...

QUISTIS: (thinks) Wow... what a goodbye, Selph!

SELPHIE: (continues singing...)
... I'm gonna miss you so
Bye bye, Irvy
Why'd you have to go...

Quistis, Xu, Ellone, and Fujin join Selphie...

SELPHIE/QUISTIS/XU/ELLONE/FUJIN: (a cappella style...)
No more sunshine
It followed you away
I'll cry, Irvy
Till you're home to stay

All of a sudden, the girls get wild and excited, as they stand up from their seats...

SELPHIE/QUISTIS/XU/ELLONE/FUJIN:
I'll miss the way you smile,
As though it's just for me
And each and every night,
I'll write you faithfully
AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! (doing the "Irvy Scream" again...)

Bye bye, Irvy
It's awful hard to bear
Bye bye, Irvy
Guess I'll always care...

XU & ELLONE: (they start their own verse)
And so the day will come real soon
It's going to be real tough...

SELPHIE/QUISTIS/XU/ELLONE/FUJIN: (another new verse)
But then we still have something to think of him by
With all our IRVY STUFF!

QUISTIS: (shows off her Irvy sweater)
Like my Irvy sweats!
I wear them every night!

ELLONE: (chuckles)
Oh Quisty, what a sight!

XU:
I sip my Irvy soda pop
At all my soda breaks!

ELLONE:
And don't you all forget
We've got his songs to sing...

XU:
And posters over the place!

SELPHIE: (chuckles)
Hey guys, listen up!
I got my Irvy statuettes...
They're really works of art!

FUJIN: (clears throat)
And I have my Irvy training bra...
To keep him near my heart...

(The others giggle after Fujin mentions her Irvy training bra...)

ELLONE: (sighs and points at her pocket calendar)
My Irvy calendar
Completely marked right here

SELPHIE/QUISTIS/XU/ELLONE/FUJIN: (sighs)
It's marked that one fateful day
When Irvy marches away... (they all gasp sadly)

Bye bye, Irvy,
It's time for you to march away
Oh dear Irvy,
We wish that you would stay

SELPHIE: (climbs up the table and mimicks a lion walking)
I'LL CHASE YOU EVERYWHERE
I'M LIKE A SAVAGE BEAST!

SELPHIE/QUISTIS/XU/ELLONE/FUJIN: (laughs)
And when we all find you
You're ours, to say the least...
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Bye bye, Irvy
It's oh so hard to bear
Bye bye, Irvy
Guess I'll always caaaaaare....
Guess I'll always care...

(right at that moment, all five Irvy-obsessed girls burst into tears)

SELPHIE/QUISTIS/XU/ELLONE/FUJIN: (crying hysterically)
IIIIIIIIIRRRRVYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!

As the girls continuously sobbing over the drafting of their idol, they are not alone at the malt shop. Just around the corner, we see Zell and Raijin overhearing the whole conversation. The news was beginning to come out around Winhill after all...

ZELL: (whispers) Psst... Raijin, you hear that?

RAIJIN: (whispers) Yeah, man... that Irvy guy's gonna kiss Rinoa at the Laguna Loire Tonight Show here in Winhill, ya know...?

ZELL: Dude, that's what I'm saying! This can't be good...

RAIJIN: (confused) Aw come on, Zell, Winhill's gonna be a legend, gonna be written in history books 'cuz Irvy Kinneas and Laguna Loire are gonna be here tomorrow, ya know...?

ZELL: I'm talking about Rinoa, idiot!

RAIJIN: (gasps) Oh yeah... this is gonna be a big problem, ya know...?

ZELL: (thinks) Yo, I wonder if Squall's heard of this news yet...?

RAIJIN: (gets nervous) Dude, I don't wanna make Squall mad, man... we all know how he is when he's mad, ya know...? I ain't gonna get my head chopped off by his gunblade 'cuz of this, ya know? I ain't telling him about it, ya know?

ZELL: Well either way, Squall needs to know about it... I mean, this is his GIRLFRIEND that we're talking about!

RAIJIN: And these chicks are excited about it? They wack, ya know?

ZELL: (starts to think deeply) Okay... so... how are we gonna tell Squall about his girlfriend and this "goodbye kiss" thing with Irvy?

RAIJIN: (thinks deeply as well) Well... didn't Squall say that he knows Rinoa's thing for Irvy was just a fling, ya know?

ZELL: (thinks) Hmm... I doubt it... I mean, damn, where was Rinoa when all these chicks were falling all over Squall these days? She's keeping herself busy with her friends drooling all over Irvy Kinneas! And guess what... it's not until NOW that she finally wakes up from reality and realizes that her one true love was just right in front of her nose! Finally when she's all drooling over Squall, Irvy Kinneas just HAD to step in and decides to kiss her goodbye before he heads off to the Galbadian Army! Damn, can you believe that...?

RAIJIN: (thinks again) Hmm... ya got a point, ya know? I betcha that Rinoa chick's still got that obsession on Irvy Kinneas, ya know? I betcha right now she's been running around Winhill spreading out the news about her and Irvy and probably even ignoring the fact that she's got a boyfriend already, ya know?

ZELL: And not just A boyfriend, that boyfriend happens to be THE SQUALL LEONHART, DAMMIT!!

RAIJIN: (gulps) Dude, I'm scared, man... I'm scared of telling Squall, ya know? I mean, if he gets really mad, I'm a runnin' away and get away from him for good, ya know...? He's gonna be bustin' out his gunblade and run around huntin' every single goon he sees, ya know...?

ZELL: (stands up from his seat) Awright, that's it! Raijin, we head to the training hall and tell Squall about this whole thing!

RAIJIN: (gulps nervously) A... are you sure, Zell...? Ya know what's gonna happen when he hears that some other goon's gonna kiss his girl on TV, ya know...?

ZELL: (frowns) I don't care HOW Squall reacts... he's gotta know this, ya know? I mean, we're his posse, man... we suppose to stick together and be there for each other, right? Besides, he loves Rinoa... I'm sure he'd be smart enough to know what he's gonna do on a crisis like this...

RAIJIN: (nods) Okay then, Zell... let's head to the training hall now... I betcha right now Squall's been practicing his swings and how fast he can chop people's heads off at the same time... damn, that's scary, ya know...?

ZELL: (both stand up and sneak their way out to be sure the girls don't see them present) Come on... let's go...

Later that day, Zell and Raijin made it out safely and dashed right at a small training center down the hill from Winhill, where they normally hang out and train their self-defense skills, magic usage, and even guardian forces junctioning. When they arrived at the training center, they see Squall going through a difficult drill with his gunblade. He looked very fierce and mightily strong and quick throughout this obstacle--- so perfectly powerful that it almost intimidated Zell and Raijin to even get near him. On the side, they see Seifer and Nida watching their "posse leader" going through this course. They dashed right to their side, as they give each other their own signature "greeting" by forming fists and gently knock them on each other's fists.

NIDA: Yo, what's up, guys?

ZELL: Damn, dudes, Raijin and I overheard the chicks talking about something REALLY important...

SEIFER: (confused) Hey hey hey, important? You mean... about good-loooking guys like us??

RAIJIN: (gulps) Well, not exactly... it's about their Irvy Kinneas obsession again as usual, ya know?

NIDA: (frowns) Dammit... that Irvy thing again...? Man, I swear... I've been trying to get to have Xu pay attention to me while we're on the phone but all she babbled about everyday was "Irvy this..." and "Irvy that..." argh, I'm sick of it...

SEIFER: (rolls his eyes) So what's this got to do with us, man...?

ZELL: (gulps) Well, Seifer, first up, it's more like getting to do with Squall...

NIDA: (gasps with surprise) What? What's their obsession got to do with Squall? Look, if it's Rinoa, ya better spill...

SEIFER: (rolls his eyes again) Fine, fine, let's hear it... it'd better be good, ya bastards...

ZELL: (clears his throat) Okay, here goes... Raijin and I were at the malt shop, just hangin' out and eatin' hotdogs and all when we overheard the chicks at another table making fusses about some piece of news that they heard from somewhere... said that Irvy Kinneas is gonna come over to Winhill and kiss Rinoa goodbye on TV at the Laguna Loire Tonight Show... they'll be comin' over tomorrow, I think...

NIDA: (gasps again) NO WAY, YA LYING, RIGHT, ZELL??

ZELL: (shrugs) Hell no... it sounded like it's for real, so it's just too good to be true...

SEIFER: (eyes widened) Rinoa?? The Irvy Kinneas is gonna kiss Rinoa on the Laguna Loire Tonight Show--- LIVE ON TV?!! (Zell and Raijin nodded) HOLY CRAP!!

NIDA: Man, I'm scared already, even if we haven't told Squall yet... we all know Squall when he's angry...

RAIJIN: (gulps) Guys, what are we gonna do?? I mean, how are we gonna tell Squall about his girl getting kissed by some rock star, ya know...?

NIDA: (turns to Seifer) YOU tell him, Seifer! You're like the next toughest guy after Squall in our posse!

SEIFER: (gets a bit nervous) You jerks! Ya call yourselves men?? Y'all don't have guts to tell our buddy Squall over there about his girlfriend and that rock star dude? Jeez...

ZELL: (gets nervous) Uhh... I'll go with you if you want when we tell him, Seifer... (Seifer turns to Zell and just shakes his head)

SEIFER: (shrugs and gets up from his seat) Fine, fine, you cowards stay the hell back here... I'll go tell him...

ZELL/NIDA/RAIJIN: THANKS, SEIFER!

Seifer turns his head away from the other three as he headed through the obstacle course to catch up with Squall. He gets at the finish line, waiting for Squall to finish. Finally with a last blow on a hard coconut on the air, Squall reaches the finish line. Seifer applauds, as Squall places his gunblade back on its sheath.

SEIFER: (smirks) Perfect as usual, Squall...

SQUALL: (fixes the sheath of his gunblade and grabs a towel to wipe the sweat off his forehead) Yeah, whatever... thanks...

SEIFER: (grins nervously) Uhh... Squall... can I... have a word with you for a sec...?

SQUALL: (curious) What about...? This better be good... (they head to the side of the obstacle course, as the two pals sit right next to each other) What's up...?

SEIFER: (gulps) Uhh... hey, Squall... have you heard...? New word's going through Winhill again...

SQUALL: (rolls his eyes) Seifer, if it's about me and Rinoa getting together, that's old news... I know that everybody knows about us...

SEIFER: (grins) Aw heck no, that's so OLD news... but the word does have something to do with Rinoa--- (Squall immediately stands up and gives a scary glare right at Seifer)

SQUALL: (looking directly at Seifer) SPILL IT, SEIFER!! WHAT ABOUT RINOA?!

SEIFER: (gets up and faces Squall) Well, word has it that Irvy Kinneas will be coming here to Winhill tomorrow. He's going to have his final show before he leaves for the Galbadian Army at the Laguna Loire Tonight Show, so this also means that Laguna Loire's gonna be here in Winhill too!

SQUALL: (confused) And what's THIS got to do with Rinoa?? Look, I know about her Irvy Kinneas obsession and I don't mind that so long as I'm her priority first in her heart... I mean, if Irvy's gonna have a show here, of course she can go... so long as she invites me, of course... (he smiles gently, thinking about Rinoa)

SEIFER: (clears his throat) Well, uhh... see... there's gonna be like a publicity stunt or something that's gonna happen in that show...

SQUALL: (smirks) Even better... maybe I'll just buy some tickets to the show and take Rinoa there on a date---

SEIFER: (interrupts by speaking quickly at what he was about to say) Squall, IrvyKinneasisgoingtokissRinoagoodbyeonairattheshowinfrontofbillionsofpeoplearoundtheworldwhoaretunedintotheshow ...

SQUALL: (eyes widened and repeats what Seifer just said) Irvy Kinneas is going to kiss Rinoa goodbye on air at the show in front of billions of people around the world who are turned into the show... (Seifer was about to back down from him, as Squall lowers his head down) Oh... is that all... thanks... (Squall walks away slowly, as Seifer follows him from behind. They head back to the spot where all the other guys are, as the other three started to become curious at Squall's reaction)

ZELL: (confused) Seifer, what happened...?

SEIFER: (shrugs) I dunno... he seems quiet and... well... looks like it doesn't really bother him at all...

ZELL: (sighs in relief) Hey, it's only a stupid kiss, right? I'm sure Rinoa won't even feel a thing when he kisses her... we all know that she goes really crazy when it's YOU who's kissing her...

RAIJIN: So Squall... uhh... it's cool, ya know...? We can watch the Laguna Loire Tonight Show at the front seats, ya know...?

SQUALL: (all of a shocking sudden, he quickly looks up to them and starts to explode, raising his gunblade from his sheath) IRVY KINNEAS IS GOING TO DIE!!!!!

ZELL/SEIFER/NIDA/RAIJIN: (jumps up from shock, as they immediately back away from him) YIKES!!!!

ZELL: (gulps) Calm down, Squall... calm down... I mean... Irvy's not here yet, right...? Maybe you should settle this with---

SQUALL: (glares right at Zell and points his gunblade right at him) IF THAT BASTARD EVER LAYS HIS MOUTH ON MY GIRLFRIEND'S LIPS...

ZELL: (jumps back) WHOA, SQUALL, CALM DOWN, GET YOUR GUNBLADE AWAY FROM ME!!

SQUALL: (glares again) IF THAT PUNK EVER DARE TOUCH THE LIPS OF MY RINOA, HIS HEAD IS MINE, HEAR ME??!!!

SEIFER: (gets up and places his arm right on Squall's arm that's holding the gunblade) Whoa, Squall, chill... let's settle this peacefully first...

SQUALL: (lowers his arm down and places his gunblade back on his sheath calmly and slowly, as he glares his eyes right at Seifer) What is it now, Seifer? This better make me smile or ELSE!!!

SEIFER: (shrugs) I dunno how to say this, but... shouldn't you talk to Rinoa about this...?

RAIJIN: (interrupts Seifer purposely) Yeah, I mean, obviously you care about Rinoa and shouldn't you---

SEIFER: (growls at Raijin) SHUT UP, RAIJIN!! I AIN'T DONE TALKIN' YET!! (Raijin glares and keeps himself quiet) Anyway, come on, Squall... ya love Rinoa, right? Instead of going on a rampage scaring people away with your insanity, just do this the calm way and talk to Rinoa about it... ya know... ask her how she feels about it...? (Zell, Nida, and Raijin showed faces of concern towards Squall)

SQUALL: (closes his eyes and starts to think... then he looks up and answers) You're right, Seifer... man... what has gotten over me...?

ZELL: (shrugs) It's all good, Squall, we got your back on this... we say you talk to her and ask her what she feels about it... I mean, come on, you guys just got together yesterday... that's gotta suck if you're only going to be---

SEIFER: (yells at Zell as well) I TOLD YA I AIN'T DONE TALKIN' YET, CHICKEN-WUSS... WHY YA GOTTA INTERRUPT ME LIKE RAIJIN OVER HERE?!

ZELL: (forms his fists) YOU CALL ME THAT AGAIN SEIFER AND I'M A GONNA---

SQUALL: (interrupts Zell) Alright guys, let's head to Rinoa's place. When she's around, you all better shut your mouths, got that?

NIDA: (shrugs) This is all about you and her, Squall... we got nuthin' to do with it, but we got your back...

Later that day, Squall and his buddies headed for Rinoa's house. Right at that time, they see Julia and Raine still talking to each other while gardening their front yard. Squall went up to the two chattering ladies.

SQUALL: (politely) Hi Mrs. Caraway, Miss Raine...

RAINE: (smiles sweetly) Awww... hey there, handsome! So you're the one who stole that sweet Rinoa's heart, hm?

SQUALL: (blushes slightly) Um... you could say that, yeah...

JULIA: (giggles) You know if I were only younger, I would definitely go out with you, Squall Leonhart! (the two ladies chuckle delightfully, as Squall remains blushing) Awww... you're such a sweetheart, Squall! I thank you so much for making my little girl happy...

RAINE: (chuckles) You know, I wish Ellone would meet someone just like you for her boyfriend... now I see why you're one of the more popular fusses around girls your age in all of Winhill...

SQUALL: (blushes) Um... thanks, Miss Raine. (changes subject) Listen, Mrs. Caraway... is your daughter home...?

JULIA: (chuckles) She's at the backyard watering the orchids... just walk through the side door over there.

SQUALL: (smiles slightly) Thanks, Mrs. Caraway... I won't be too long... (he walks towards the side door. His friends follow, as they greet the two ladies the same fashion)

RAINE: (sighs with a smile) What a sweet boy... I wish I had a son like that...

JULIA: (thinks) I just wish Angelo would grow up like Squall right there... now that would be so nice! (the two ladies continue to chatter)

We now head to the backyard of the Caraway Residence. There, we find Rinoa humming a sweet song, as she flutters around happily from orchid to orchid, watering its roots. Obviously Rinoa is such in a good mood after hearing the news about Irvy Kinneas giving her his goodbye kiss that she just could not think of anything else but that moment. Now, it's time to test Rinoa to see how true she is to her relationship with Squall when Squall and his pals are already heading towards her direction.

SQUALL: (calls out softly) Rinoa...?

RINOA: (gasps with surprise and turns her head) Squall!! (happily she runs to him, as she gives him a big embrace) Mmmmm... I miss you, sweetie...

SQUALL: (sighs sadly) Rinoa...

ZELL: (from behind) Uhh... Squall... the guys and I are gonna wait for you outside, 'kay...?

SQUALL: (completely hypnotized by Rinoa's eyes, as he answers Zell) Whatever, I don't care, just go away and get out of my face till I come back... (the boys leave, as Squall lets go of Rinoa. He turns away and sits at the gazebo swing nearby and lowers his head. Rinoa blinks in confusion, as she sits right next to him)

RINOA: (worried) Squall, what's wrong...? (she leans closer to him. Squall scoots away from her a bit) Squall...?

SQUALL: (sighs) Is it true, Rinoa...?

RINOA: (confused) Is it true... what...?

SQUALL: (direct) You know what I'm talking about...

RINOA: I don't know what you're talking about... please, Squall, talk to me...?

SQUALL: I heard all about it--- Irvy Kinneas is coming here to Winhill to perform at the Laguna Loire Tonight Show... and he's going to kiss you in front of the TV camera... is this rumor true??

RINOA: (sighs) Yes, Squall... it's all true... I got a phone call from Irvy Kinneas' secretary giving me the news... I mean it was just so shocking and so fast that I just didn't know how to react... and Squall, it wasn't me who chose to be the one whom Irvy's going to kiss goodbye... I mean, it could've been any girl... it's just that they randomly picked my name from their poll... I don't know what else to say, Squall...

SQUALL: (slowly turns his eyes filled with jealousy towards her) So you're really gonna go through this after all? Rinoa, I thought you were semi-over with your Irvy obsession...? I thought that you and I are...

RINOA: (smiles sweetly and leans her head on Squall's shoulder) It's only Irvy Kinneas, Squall... he can kiss any girl he wants... it doesn't mean that he's going to take me away from you, Squall... I'm just so in love with you... way too much that I just could not afford losing you to some other girl... but again, it's not my fault that they picked me to be the one... oh Squall, please don't be mad...

Meanwhile, the boys were eavesdropping closely near the side door.

ZELL: (whispers) Betcha a hundred gil that Rinoa's gonna start talking more about Irvy Kinneas to Squall than talking about their relationship...

NIDA: I agree with Zell!

RAIJIN: Ditto here, ya know...?

SEIFER: (whispering) You buncha punk-asses! Is that how you think of Rinoa like that? Jeez... some support you losers are...

ZELL: I dunno, man... sometimes I have doubts with these Irvy girls, ya know...?

SEIFER: You jerks... leave the poor girl alone!

ZELL: (smirks) It's a bet then... a hundred gil!

SEIFER: (rolls his eyes) Whatever, Zell...

We now back to the two lovers in brink of trouble...

SQUALL: (shakes his head) You know how I feel about this, Rinoa... thinking about this popular rock star laying his lips on to the sweet lips of girl I love really boils my blood...

RINOA: (sighs and gently places her hand on to Squall's chin, gently turning his head back to her) Oh Squall, please listen to my words... please listen to me... (Squall remains quiet, still giving her the doubtful look) Yes, I admit that I still have my obsession on Irvy Kinneas, but think about this... Irvy Kinneas to me is just a fling, you know...? Something that I'm into like a hobby... you know... a big crazy fan... but a steady boyfriend, which is you, Squall... well... a steady boyfriend is... forever... (she plants a sweet kiss on his cheek) Irvy Kinneas, just a fling... Squall Leonhart, forever my love...

Squall still remains quiet, still not convinced at Rinoa's explanations. Rinoa can tell from the look of his deep blue eyes and then starts to sing...

RINOA: (singing in a sweet, loving, voice in a romantic slow song)
One boy, one steady boy
One boy to be with
To dream with, to hope with
One boy... that's the way it should be...

Squall turns his head away, still unconvinced, but at the same time, he blushes a little bit. Rinoa turns Squall's face around so he ends up looking at her.

One boy, one steady boy
One boy to laugh with
To cry with, to train with
One boy... that's the way it should be...

Squall scoots nearer to Rinoa...

One day you will see
What the meaning of true love should be
And then you will feel that
I'm right there just for you

SQUALL: (sings along with a small smile on his face)
One girl, one steady girl
One girl to be with forever and ever
One girl... that's the way it should be...

Rinoa smiles, as Squal places his hand on to hers. The couple stands up and slowly walks around the backyard garden, just strolling along as lovers in love...

Someday there'll be a time
That all woes will be gone away
And then I will feel that
I'm right there just for you....

Rinoa turns to him and places her arms around Squall, as he does the same around her waist, as they get closer...

RINOA:
One boy...

SQUALL:
One steady girl...

RINOA/SQUALL:
One love to be with forever and ever
One love... that's the way it should be...

Rinoa and Squall get closer to each other, as they were about to kiss...

RINOA/SQUALL:
That's the way... it... should... be...

The two hold each other tightly yet gently, as the two lovers kiss their very tender, more passionate kiss ever...

SQUALL: (parting from Rinoa's lips) I'm sorry, Rinoa... I don't know what has gotten over me...

RINOA: (whispers, as she gets closer to his lips) Oh Squall... if there is a name that completely makes me feel all weak and weary and fainting all over... that would be the name of Squall Leonhart... Rinoa Heartilly's knight in shining armor... (whispers, as their lips gently met) I love you, my prince...

SQUALL: (whispers back) I love you, my angel... (they passionately kiss each other again and stay there until they feel like parting away from each other.)

Meanwhile back at the side door, the guys gawk at what was happening.

ZELL: (eyes widened) No way... maybe Rinoa really IS in love with Squall completely!

NIDA: (gasps) Man, I wish that would've been me and Xu right there...

RAIJIN: (sighs) I wish I got Squall's charm, ya know...? Look at them two... all kissing and stuff... argh, it's making me nuts, ya know...?

Seifer suddenly places his hand out to them as if he was demanding for something to appear on his hand.

ZELL: (curious) What, Seifer?

SEIFER: (smirks) Where's my hundred gil, you morons?!

ZELL/NIDA/RAIJIN: (gasps) WHAT?!

SEIFER: (smirks) You all were the ones who started this bet about Rinoa and this Irvy kiss thing, and since I won the bet, PAY UP!!

ZELL/NIDA/RAIJIN: (snaps their fingers) Dammit! (they dig through their pockets and place their 100 gil bills on to Seifer's hand)

SEIFER: (grins) Heh heh heh heh... thank you! (places the money on his pocket)

Squall and Rinoa appear at the side table, where they meet up with the boys.

SQUALL: I'm not worried anymore, so you clowns can go home and leave me alone...

ZELL: (eyes widened) What about you, Squall?!

SEIFER: (drags Zell and Raijin by the ear as they leave the scene. Nida follows Seifer from behind) You heard the leader, now shut the hell up, losers, or I'll have to pull your ears even harder...

ZELL: OW! LEGGO MY EAR, MAN!!

RAIJIN: Ow! Ow! Ow! My ears are super-sensitive, ya know...? Come on, Seifer! (the four boys exit, as Rinoa pulls Squall back to the backyard and back at the gazebo. The two start to make out again, as the two lovers laugh happily)

RINOA: (softly whispers) I know that someone else may be taking my lips in a few days, but only for one night... but forever and ever, Squall, my lips can only be touched, caressed, tasted, and gently tease by yours, Squall... (gently traces Squall's lips with her finger)

SQUALL: (blushes) Well... I guess it'd be fair... I mean I have to be honest with you... I've kissed a lot of girls back in the past while you were busy thinking about Irvy all those days... but... (gently he carries Rinoa and sits her on his lap, so they can be closer) I really do hope that the only lips that I'd be kissing for the rest of my life would be yours, Rinoa...

RINOA: (blushes crimson red, as she places her face right on to his, completely close to kissing once more) Squall... you know so much on what to say next to make me feel all faint and weak and...

SQUALL: (small grin) I'll catch you if you faint, my love... and take you home and... (blushes heavily)

RINOA: (giggles) Squall, you're so silly! (Squall kisses Rinoa's tip of the nose gently) Irvy is just Irvy... but you, Squall, you ARE part of my life... I love you with all my heart... (she gives him a light kiss on the lips)

SQUALL: (thinks) Mmm... I still don't like the idea of having somebody else kissing you for publicity, but... okay...

RINOA: (kisses him deeply) Oh Squall! Trust me on this one... if Irvy Kinneas makes a weird move on me, I'd do something about it, run to you, and have you deal with it...

SQUALL: (evil grin) Oooh... well, it seems my dear lady's giving me the honor of having fun torturing the creep who try to mess with my girl, hm...? Now this would be fun... (he holds her tighter and sighs)

RINOA: (thinks) Mmm... what do you want to do now...?

SQUALL: (blushes) Well... I was thinking of taking you upstairs to your room and "skulk" around, but... it can wait...

RINOA: (rests herself on to his shoulder, as Squall moves his head over Rinoa's to keep her warm) Let's just stay here and let me enjoy the rest of the day with you...

SQUALL: (whispers) As you wish, my princess... (Rinoa suddenly falls asleep in his arms with her head on his shoulder, as Squall relaxes against the bench, places his legs up on the railing near the bench, as he closes his eyes, holding his love tightly to her, as he decides to take a nap himself)

It seems that Rinoa and Squall are a very tight, powerful couple to deal with. Rinoa then tells Squall that Irvy Kinneas was just a fling... now, let's just wait and see how Rinoa would react when Irvy Kinneas does arrive in Winhilll tomorrow. Definitely, things will go crazy again just like earlier today and yesterday. This is going to be one summer that Winhill will never EVER forget! Find out in Chapter 4 of "Bye Bye Irvy." Hope you all enjoyed this chapter!

BYE BYE IRVY: a Final Fantasy VIII Flick!
(parody based on the hit Broadway show "Bye Bye Birdie")
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DISCLAIMERS: Final Fantasy VIII ©1999, 2000 Squaresoft. "Bye Bye Birdie" ©1960 Charles Strouse/Lee Adams/Michael Stewart. I recently watched "Bye Bye Birdie" at a friend's high school (school play) and somehow I started to imagine our beloved characters from FF8 portraying these characters... thus this fic has been written just to let my crazy imagination out. Oh yeah, there may be some changes and the songs in the play won't be too elaborate as it is in the actual script of the musical. I don't know ALL the words to ALL of the songs, so I may make stuff up with the tune to the "actual" songs... besides... this is FF8! Gotta have some inside jokes here now... Happy reading and let me know what you think!
NEW WORDS FROM THE AUTHOR! Since I'm completely on my insanity mode right now, I may even include some songs that's NOT even from the Broadway musical itself. They just came into my mind and got me these ideas on how to incorporate them along with this story. And if you're wondering, no, they're not songs that you hear on the radio everyday 'cuz I'm no "pop" fan. I like music in general--- I can just pull them out from all the stuff that I always like to listen. One of these songs is the one that Seifer, Zell, Nida, and Raijin were singing while they're gazing at the girls they're having personal crushes on. I thought it'd be kinda sweet to let the "soft, romantic" side of these tough guys in this story... kinda makes you wonder that even the baddest of the bad-asses in the world can be as soft and romantic such as this. Welp, hope you all enjoy... and I'd like to have some reviews too... it seems that I haven't been getting any reviews... please encourage me to write more... I'm really enjoying writing this myself. Thank you so much!

-Sefie Tilmitt

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CHAPTER 4: A Healthy, Normal Galbadian Boy
Deling City, Galbadia - next day...

The time has come for the big day in Winhill. We now head back north to the urban, sophisticated, and modern Galbadian capital of Deling City. Right at the Deling City Train Station, we see Irvy Kinneas' manager Cid Kramer teaching the Deling City chapter of the Irvy Kinneas Fan Club the Irvy Anthem in synchronization. The Deling City fans were to sing this anthem right when Irvy Kinneas arrives at the train station, taking off from Deling City to Winhill, where there awaits the lucky girl whom he will bestow his goodbye kiss upon live on TV at the Laguna Loire Tonight Show.

CID: (leading the Deling City fans) Okay... one more time... let's hear it... ready? A one and a two and a...

DELING CITY FANGIRLS: (singing softly)

We love you Irvy, oh yes we do
We love you Irvy, and we'll be true
When you're not near us, we're blue
Oh Irvy, we love you!

CID: (smiles) And then after that...

DELING CITY FANGIRLS: (continuously)
For he's an understanding
Patriotic
Healthy, normal Galbadian boy!

CID: (happily) Great job, ladies! This would be perfect! Thank you! (while he was about to have the fans repeat the song again, he spots Edea heading towards their way along with his luggages) Ah, Edea!

EDEA: (angrily drops the luggages down on the floor) Thank you for helping me out with the luggages, Cid...

CID: (follows Edea around while heading towards the waiting bench) Aw, Edea, I'm sorry, you know how excited I am with this event... if it weren't for your brilliant mind, we would've been stuck and out of money for good, you know? Thank you so much!

EDEA: (glares) Whatever... (changes the subject) Anyway, the make-up artist is still not finished with Irvy yet. He's at the limo right now fixing him up. He'll be with us at a short moment, but for now, I would like to---

Before Edea can continue, they hear an almost eerie voice that just scared both Cid and Edea. It was a voice of terror, they call it. It was the voice of pure evil... it was...

ULTIMECIA: (calling out from far away hysterically) CIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDRIIIIIIIIIK!!

CID: (gulps in nerviness) Mama?!!! (Edea rolls her eyes away) Mama...?????

Ultimecia Kramer, the eccentric mother of Cid, appears from out of nowhere. It was unexpected... it was horrifying... it was...

ULTIMECIA: (reaches Cid and holds him tight lovingly) Awwww... how's my Cidrik-poo doooooiiiing, eh....? Ya look like ya haven't been sleeping all night, sonny boy!

CID: (gulps) Mama, what are you doing here? I thought you won't be back till your trip in Esthar's done?

ULTIMECIA: (in an unidentifying accent) Bah, and miss the big day my sonny boy's success will finally get to the top by having this stunt at the famous Laguna Loire Tonight Show? Neeeeeveeer!

CID: (nervously) Uhhh... you're... just... in time... Mama.... (Ultimecia sees a frowning Edea from behind and starts to wonder)

ULTIMECIA: (seeing Edea) Eh...? Who's this??

CID: (blinks) Errr... Mama, you remember Edea, my secretary of eight years... remember her? I always bring her along during our Christmas parties every year, you know...?

ULTIMECIA: (takes a closer look at Edea) Eh...? Whatever happened to that sweet lady who puts-a-bun up on the top like this, eh? I like her too!

CID: (clears his throat)Uhh.. Mama... that was ALSO... Edea...

EDEA: (greets Ultimecia) How do you do, Ultimecia! (the two ladies shake hands)

ULTIMECIA: (confused) Aaaha... of kourse, Edea!! How can I ever forget! (embraces Edea) You kan just kall me Mrs. Kramer! (Edea rolls her eyes) Ya look like ya gained a lot of weight, Edea! What's your family been feedin' you now, eh?

EDEA: (murmurs softly to Cid, trying to ignore Ultimecia's insulting remark towards her) Oh Cid... shouldn't you tell your mother about... something VERY important...?

CID: (whispers back) I'm about to right now, don't worry...

ULTIMECIA: (looking around) Where's that handsome young lad whom you call Irvy Kinneas, huh? Why are you both here when the star is not even here, eh?

CID: (gulps) Uh, Mama, well, he's just getting ready... he'll catch up... now, uhh... there's something very important that I need to talk to you about...

ULTIMECIA: (clueless) Eh? Whatever for, Cidrik? Your Mama's right here now, everything will be fine when you travel down to Winhill, now what is the problem now, eh?

CID: (clears his throat) Well... you see... Edea and I are... (gulps nervously, as Edea starts to eye on him) Uhh... see... well... we're planning on...

ULTIMECIA: (blinks) Hm? Planning on what?

CID: (gulps even more, as he finally says it aloud) WE ARE GOING TO DISSOLVE ULCIDLOU... Mama... (Edea gives a small grin, as Ultimecia slowly sits down on the bench, looking emotionless) Mama...?

ULTIMECIA: (speaks softly) Oh... is that all... very well then... the time has kome, has it, sonny boy...? (looks up in the sky and takes a grasp on her chest) Oh Lou... don't worry now, you won't be lonely anymore... I will be koming right up VERY soon...

CID: (gets nervous and comforts Ultimecia) Now now, Mama, you see... the reason why we're doing this is because Edea and I are planning to settle---

ULTIMECIA: (suddenly bursts herself into tears) OH LOU!!! JUST YOU WAIT!!! MAMA UL'S KOMING!!!

EDEA: (sighs) Mrs. Kramer, can't you see that we've been living together for eight years now and---

ULTIMECIA: (points at Edea) YOU! YOU KORRUPTED MY BOY!! YOU... YOU YOU YOU YOU... KURSED... WOMAN!!

EDEA: (gasps in shock and turns to Cid) CID?!!!!

CID: (gets nervous) Now, now, Edea, Mama didn't mean that... I know she didn't...

ULTIMECIA: (continues crying out loud) OH LOOOOOOUUUUU!!!! WAIT FOR ME, LOU!!! I'M KOMING... I'M KOMING... (reaches her hand towards the sky)

CID: (gets nervous) Mama, stop that, please! I'm... I'm no longer a little boy anymore... I have become a man now... I want to take responsibilities on my own... I don't need you anymore, Mama---

ULTIMECIA: (cries out loud) OF KOURSE YOU DON'T NEED ME.... I KAN HEAR LOU HOWLING HIS SAD KRY TO ME... I AM READY... I'M READY TO JOIN THE GREAT HYNE'S KINGDOM UP ABOVE!!

EDEA: (shakes head and walks away from the scene) CID, IF YOU DON'T DEAL WITH THIS NOW I'M OUTTA HERE!!!

CID: (runs after Edea) EDEA BABY, WAIT!!

As Edea was about to ditch both mother and daughter, they were interrupted by a loud cry from one of the Deling City Fans from far away.

DELING CITY FANGIRL #1: (calling out) OH MY HYNE!!! HE'S HERE!!! HE'S HERE!!! IRVY KINNEAS IS HEEERE!!!

DELING CITY FANGIRLS: (doing the "Irvy Scream")AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!

The Deling City Fangirls go on a rampage around the train station to look for their idol, reporters, photographers, and the paparazzi were on the loose... Irvy Kinneas has finally arrived and entered the train station.

CID/EDEA: (looking nervous) Oh great.... (the two ran to look for Irvy Kinneas, as they spot him nearing the train with some bodyguards with him. Reporters and photographers are surrounding the rock sensation, as both Cid and Edea catch up to him)

DELING CITY FANGIRL #2: (cries out) I LOVE YOU, IRVY!!!!

REPORTER #1: (chasing after Irvy) Mr. Kinneas, I've got a question for you... (the reporters behind him also go on a rampage, trying to get the star to answer their questions)

CID: (calling the fangirls) ALRIGHT, LADIES, HERE'S YOUR CHANCE NOW!! SING YOUR HEART OUT AND SAY HELLO TO YOUR IDOL!!

DELING CITY FANGIRLS: (singing)

For he's an understanding, patriotic
Healthy, normal Galbadian boy!

REPORTER #2: (question) So, Mr. Kinneas, how does it feel to be fighting in the Galbadian Army? To fight for your country??

IRVY: (tries to answer the question) Well, I--- (Cid interrupts Irvy, as he answers for him)

CID: (gasps)You dare ask our Irvy how he FEELS about fighting alongside the Galbadian Army? Well, I WILL tell you how he feels about it! (sings)
He will gladly use his sharpshooting skills
For he is a symbol of the great Galbadia!

When he heard about the cry of his country
In his own words, he said,
"I shall gladly join the Galbadian Army

For the sake of Galbadia, justice must prevail!"

EDEA: (singing)
He will gladly take those bullets
For he is not afraid to die!

DELING CITY FANGIRLS:
For he's an understanding, patriotic
Healthy, normal Galbadian boy!

REPORTER #3: But I thought he was drafted!

IRVY: (tries to answer again) Actually I was--- (he gets interrupted again)

CID:
That is an utmost hearsay
Why would you listen to all those lies?
For he is Irvy Kinneas,
Rock sensation, teen idol
And now, our hero of Galbadia! (signals the fangirls)
SING!!

DELING CITY FANGIRLS: (singing)
We love you Irvy, oh yes, we do
We love you Irvy, and we'll be true
When you're not near us, we're blue
Oh Irvy, we love you!

Irvy blushes at the fangirls who just sang him that song, as he gently waves at them... the girls blow kisses at him, as Irvy winks at every single one of them... half of the fangirls faint in bliss. Meanwhile...

REPORTER #4: (catches up to them, as they board the train) Mr. Kinneas, is it true that you were having an affair with the blonde bombshell Sofia Christine...?

IRVY: (eyes widened) Well, I--- (Cid immediately covers his mouth, unable to answer his question)

Cid and Edea look at each other, as they both answer...

CID/EDEA:
THAT IS A LIE!
THERE'S NO PROOF THAT YOU HAVE THAT FACT
FOR HE IS IRVY KINNEAS
ROCK SENSATION, TEEN IDOL,
AND NOW, OUR HERO OF GALBADIA!

REPORTER #5: (asks one more question) SO WHY IS SOFIA CHRISTINE'S HUSBAND ANGRY?!

Irvy suddenly goes on a rampage and was about to punch the reporter, as Cid and Edea pull him back. Cid signals the girls again:

DELING CITY FANGIRLS: (singing)
We love you Irvy, oh yes, we do
We love you Irvy, and we'll be true
When you're not near us we're blue
Oh Irvy, we love you!

REPORTER #6: Is it true that you found him singing at a reform school?

CID: (gasps) LIES, HEARSAY, RUMORS!! THEY'RE EVIL, I TELL YA! WE'LL TELL YOU WHERE WE FOUND HIM!

EDEA: (singing)
He was born in snowy Trabia...

CID: (singing simultaneously)
He was born in sunny Balamb...

EDEA:
He was the son of good-hearted missionaries...

CID:
He was the son of a wealthy tycoon...

CID/EDEA: (simultaneously)
He was orphaned at a young age
Landing on a small house in Centra
And during his days there at the beach
That's where we heard him singing!

Finally, the train was about to take off, signaling its horn, as the reporters try to catch up, but the train started to move. The girls started to wave goodbye at Irvy, as Irvy waves back with a smile. The girls continue singing...

DELING CITY FANGIRLS:
We love you Irvy, oh yes we do
We love you Irvy, and we'll be true
When you're not near us, we're blue
Oh Irvy, we love you!

For he's an understanding, patriotic
Healthy normal....
Galbadian...
GALBADIAN BOOOOOOOOY!!!!

The train finally takes off from Deling City Train station, as it fades away from sight.

Winhill, Galbadia ---- four hours later

At the Winhill Train Station, we now see the Winhill Fangirls with a lot of banners, posters, and other publicity memorabilia to welcome Irvy Kinneas to Winhill. They start parading around the train station, singing the "Irvy Anthem" over and over again...

WINHILL FANGIRLS: (singing while walking around with signs)
We love you Irvy, oh yes we do
We love you Irvy, and we'll be true
When you're not near us, we're blue
Oh Irvy, we love you...

In the meantime, we see the same old folks that we met earlier, making more meaningless complaints like they always did towards the youth of Winhill. If you think the fuss about the two puppy lovers Rinoa and Squall was enough, get a load of what is going to happen to Winhill when rock sensation Irvy Kinneas arrives by train.

OLD FOLK #7: (worried) Agh, this is the third time that's been happening on Winhill! First, there's those two sweet youngins in love, next is the news that rock star Irvy Kinneas and our very own Laguna Loire are coming here, and now, TODAY is the day when Irvy Kinneas will be arriving for real! Agh, what has the Great Hyne had done to these young whippersnappers...

OLD FOLK #8: (sighs) Either way, we must accept it... after all, the young popular lad is heading off to the Galbadian Army... we have to welcome him...

OLD FOLK #9: (smiles) Well, so long as he likes Winhill, everything will be just fine for the rest of this whole week!

OLD FOLK #10: And don't forget the Laguna Loire Tonight Show! We may EVEN get featured and be shown on TV too!

OLD FOLKS: (thinking about what they just talked about)Hmmmm....

The Winhill Fangirls continued to chant the Irvy Anthem repeatedly, as many of the people passing by were just getting tired of hearing the same old tune and the same old song for almost four hours. While everyone passing the train station by was just about to go nuts, our heroes of the story are just nearby, waiting at a row of trees right across from the TV station.

SEIFER: (looking right across the entrance) Damn... where the hell is puberty boy?!

NIDA: (blinks in confusion) "Puberty Boy"?!

SEIFER: (smirks) My nickname for Squall, Nida...

ZELL: (thinks) Wouldn't Squall be mad when you find out that you call him with that name?

SEIFER: (yawns) He knows, he doesn't care... all he says is "whatever..." (the other guys shrug)

RAIJIN: (moans disgustingly) Dammit... I'm sick of hearing that stupid song, ya know...?

NIDA: Good thing the girls we're looking for aren't even around...

ZELL: (frowns) Dude, what's taking Squall so long?!

RAIJIN: (thinks) He's probably at Rinoa's place, ya know...? You know how overprotective he's become since the news came that his girl's the one who's gonna get the kiss from Irvy Kinneas, ya know? Maybe Squall's like putting handcuffs on himself and Rinoa so she won't get out of his sight, ya know...?

NIDA: (thinks) Or maybe... oh man... Rinoa and Squall... alone... in someone's bedroom.... either his or hers... uhhh... you know....?

SEIFER/ZELL/RAIJIN: (eyes widened with surprise) NIDA?!

NIDA: (ducks down so he won't get hit by the other three) I'm just kidding, ya know...? I know Rinoa and Squall aren't the kind of people who'd do something like that anyway...

RAIJIN: (gasps when he glanced his eyes somewhere else) HEY GUYS!! GUYS!! LOOK!!! IT'S THE CHICKS, YA KNOW?!

SEIFER/ZELL/NIDA: (gasps) WHERE?! (Raijin points out to a particular area, as the four boys start to stare and spy at whoever they were looking at right now...)

While the fangirls continue their chanting, we now see the Winhill Chapter of the Irvine Kinneas Fan Club officers minus President Rinoa Heartilly heading right towards the train station. The fangirls finally stopped chanting when the officers arrived.

FANGIRL #1: Oh Selphie, Quistis, Xu, Ellone, and Fujin... you girls are SUCH heroes!!

FANGIRL #2: We thank the Great Hyne for having Rinoa as the president.. now she's the one who's gonna receive Irvy's sweet kiss!

SELPHIE: (sighs sadly) I know... I wish I was Rinoa myself...

FANGIRL #3: (sighs) I just wish the people would just choose somebody else from our club, since Rinoa ALREADY has Squall...

FANGIRL #4: Hey! I heard from somewhere that Squall Leonhart is NOT happy with the fact that his girlfriend's gonna be kissed by Irvy Kinneas at the Laguna Loire Tonight Show!

SELPHIE: (sticks tongue) WHO CARES?! Squall Leonhart will just have to live through it... I mean this one special goodbye kiss from Irvy Kinneas himself is like a once-in-a-lifetime thing, you know? I mean, he should give poor Rinoa a break!

QUISTIS: (raises her hand quickly) Oooh, Selphie, while Rinoa practices her kissing with Irvy Kinneas, can I "borrow" Squall to myself for one day?!

FUJIN: (laughs hysterically) QUISTY. INSANE.

QUISTIS: (glares) That's NOT funny, Fujin...! I thought I was SO over Squall, but nooo... now that Rinoa's with him, I'm beginning to start having a crush on him again...

FUJIN: (smirks) QUISTY. IN TROUBLE. YEEEEAAAAH... (Quistis sighs and turns away from Fujin)

XU: (frowning) Where's Rinoa, anyways? I mean, we're supposed to meet her at this time...

ELLONE: (checks her watch) I think Squall Leonhart's got something to do with Rinoa's delay...

FUJIN: (calls out to a certain area) RAIJIN!! (the girls turn around and see Squall's buddies hanging out across the street)

Fujin, Ellone, Xu, Quistis, and Selphie headed right towards the guys. The guys get nervous a bit, as they get up and face the girls they have been having crushes on .

RAIJIN: (confused) Hey, what gives, Fu? Rinoa and Squall ain't here, ya know? (Fujin kicks Raijin behind his shin) OWW!!! STOP THAT ALREADY, JEEZ!

FUJIN: (glares with her hands on her waist) RINOA AND SQUALL... WHERE??

ZELL: (stands up straight, as he walks towards Selphie) Hi Selphie... I'd like to help, but I don't know where they are right now... want to talk about it...? (Zell attempts to place his arm around Selphie, as Selphie slowly backs away)

SELPHIE: (blinks) Zell, now, if YOU were Irvy Kinneas, I wouldn't mind getting close to you, but... well... you're Zell Dincht... (Zell shrugs with a confused look in his eyes)

ELLONE: (wonders) The train is gonna be arriving really soon... where are those two...?

The girls went their way past the boys except for Quistis. She stopped at where the guys at and turned her eyes right at Seifer. In the meantime, the boys don't pay attention as they wait for Squall and Rinoa to arrive. We now find Seifer and Quistis alone on the scene...

QUISTIS: (shyly) Hi Seifer...

Seifer turned his eyes right at the tall, strawberry-blonde-haired girl with strawberry lips and tries not to fall himself under her physical beauty of her face.

SEIFER: (slowly turns his head away) Yo...

QUISTIS: (goes up to him) I haven't seen you around lately... how have you been...?

SEIFER: (still has his head away from her) Good... same with you.

QUISTIS: (giggles softly) You look cute when you look tough like that, you know...?

SEIFER: (lowers his head and blushes deep red, trying to hide his blushing from her) No... what makes you think I'm cute...?

QUISTIS: (blushes slightly) Mmm... I don't know... you remind me a lot of my old crush, but you're pretty different...

SEIFER: (murmurs) You mean Squall Leonhart...?

QUISTIS: (giggles) Yeah... but that was when we were younger... he's much better off with Rinoa anyways...

SEIFER: (shrugs) I guess...

QUISTIS: (places her arms behind her and bends a little right at his face turned away) Do you have a girlfriend...? Or some girl you like? I mean... I know it's kinda strange of me to ask you this question, but...

SEIFER: (looks up at her. He slightly blushes but not revealed) Girlfriend, no... do I like someone? Yes... a lot...

QUISTIS: (gets up and sighs slightly) Oh... she must be really pretty...

SEIFER: She's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life... but... I don't think she'd notice me...

QUISTIS: (thinks) Oh... well... whoever she is must have NO clue on how sweet and caring you can be, despite of your bad-ass attitude and exterior, Seifer Almasy. I've seen it and... I kinda like it...

SEIFER: (softly) Thanks.

SELPHIE: (from afar)QUISTIS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! WE HAVE TO ASSEMBLE THE FAN CLUB BEFORE THEY GO ON A RAMPAGE, GIRL!!!

QUISTIS: (sighs) Well... I gotta go... I gotta help the fan club... are you gonna be around...?

SEIFER: Yeah, I'll be around...

QUISTIS: (lowers her head) Um... see-ya... Seifer...

SEIFER: (whispers) See-ya. (Quistis leaves, as Seifer keeps his eyes right at her, fading away towards the crowd of fangirls. Meanwhile, the guys pay attention to him)

RAIJIN: (gasps)DUDE, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ABOUT, SEIFER?? WHAT'D YOU DO TO QUISTIS, HUH?! I KNOW YA HAVE SOMETHING IN MIND FOR HER, YA KNOW?! (Seifer doesn't answer)

ZELL: (shakes his head) Man, Raijin, just shut up, alright? So what if Quistis talked to Seifer, huh?? What's up with that??

NIDA: Dude, it was just a simple hello, that's all... I mean, we're all tight with the chicks, right?

ZELL: (turns to Seifer) So Seifer, I know you're all tough and all like Squall, but I guess chicks can really make your hearts soft like that, you know? What do you see in Quistis Trepe, anyways? I mean, she doesn't look all that to me...

SEIFER: (turns his head away) You have NO idea at all, Chicken-wuss... (before Zell can counter-argue with that remark, Nida stops him) I've had a crush on her since I was a kid, but I never really wanted to admit it, ya know...? (turns to Zell) Man, you know what I see in Quistis...? Here's what I SEE in Quistis... (without any awareness, Seifer makes his singing number)

When I see my baby
What do I see....?
Poetry...
Poetry in motion...

ZELL/NIDA/RAIJIN: (eyes widened with surprise) POETRY?!! (turns to Seifer) SEIFER?!

SEIFER: (sighs with a slight smile as he sings)
Poetry in motion
Passing by my side
I've got this sweet devotion
Makes my eyes open wide!
Poetry in motion
Looks that I adore
I feel like I'm under a potion
That will last forever more

ZELL/NIDA/RAIJIN: (shocked to hear Seifer becoming a little sensitive) SEIFER?! POETRY?! NO WAY!!!

SEIFER: (stands up in a nearby bench and gazes at Quistis talking to Selphie, Xu, Ellone, and Fujin)
I love every movement
There's nothing I would change
She doesn't need improvement
She's just too nice to be arranged!

Zell stands next to Seifer, listening to him, while Nida and Raijin start dancing "The Twist" behind Seifer and Zell.

SEIFER:
Poetry in motion...
How'll I ever start...?
I've got this sweet devotion
Someday I'll win her heart

SEIFER/ZELL/NIDA/RAIJIN: (the other boys gaze at the girls and start to sing with Seifer, Nida and Raijin continue dancing "The Twist")
Oh... oh whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa...
Oh whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa...
Oh whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa...

ZELL: (sings his own verse, gazing at Selphie)
Poetry in motion
What a frivolous flair
With such an unknown caution
With her smile, oh so fair!
Poetry in motion
Lips I long to kiss
I'm so full of emotion
This feeling's just sweet and bliss

NIDA: (gazes at Xu)
I love the way she smiles
There's nothing I would change
My love will last for awhile
She's just too much to be arranged

RAIJIN: (joins with the guys)
Poetry in motion
What a heavenly sight
In which I've got devotion
All the time, all day, all night

SEIFER/ZELL/NIDA/RAIJIN:
Oh... oh whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa...
Oh whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa...
Oh whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa..

(Altogether now...)

Poetry in motion
You're the only one that I adore
I've got this sweet devotion
I love you forever and more...

Oh.... oh whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa...
Oh whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa...
Oh whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa...
Oh whooooooooaaaaaa...

The four boys sigh to themselves, as they continue to gaze at the girls they have crushes on.

SEIFER: (clears his throat) Guys...

ZELL/NIDA/RAIJIN: Yeah?

SEIFER: I'm beginning to see where puberty boy's coming from...

ZELL: (eyes widened) What are you trying to say, man??

SEIFER: We have to find a way to get rid of Irvy Kinneas so we can have our chicks...

NIDA/RAIJIN: (smirks) HEEEEY! NOW THAT'S THE SEIFER THAT WE KNOW NOW!!

The boys just stood there, gazing at the girls, as they try to think of a good plan.

SEIFER/ZELL/NIDA/RAIJIN: (thinking) Hmmm.....

Would you like to know where both Rinoa and Squall are at this time? Let's go there right now... we head to the Heartilly-Caraway porch, where we see Rinoa with her eyes closed leaning her head on to Squall's shoulder, while Squall has his arm around her, supporting her for comfort on his shoulder. Squall has been talking to Rinoa about something that we missed, but right now, the two lovers seemed so relaxed.

SQUALL: (whispers) I still don't like this goodbye kiss idea, Rinoa... I know I'm being stupid, but I'm still against it...

RINOA: (murmuring from her sleep) Oh Irvy... (Squall gets nervous)

SQUALL: (in his mind) (I don't care if he's Irvy Kinneas... if he dares get near you and touches you in any way, he's REALLY gonna pay BIG TIME... and I'll do everything that I can to keep him away from you, Rinoa... you're my girl, you shouldn't be drooling over some rock star anymore... why drool on somebody famous when you've got me to drool on... don't you know that it brings me so much joy whenever you start to get weak, weary, and fainting all over when I'm around you...? Oh Rinoa... please... when Irvy Kinneas comes... I wish you wouldn't even look through his eyes and let him sweep you off your feet... only I CAN do that... and I'm the ONLY one who knows how...)

RINOA: (slowly waking up) Mmmm... what time is it...?

SQUALL: (looks at his watch) It's five till noon, why...?

RINOA: (gasps) OH MY GOSH!! SQUALL, WE HAVE TO HEAD TO THE TRAIN STATION!! IRVY'S TRAIN MIGHT BE ARRIVING AND I WANNA SEE HIM UP CLOSE!!! (without a warning, Rinoa gets up and pulls Squall along with her, as they both dash their way towards the train station)

SQUALL: (getting dragged) RINOA, WAIT.... HEY, RINOA?!

Later that time, the couple reach their group of friends, who have been waiting for them while they wait for them and for Irvy Kinneas' train to arrive. The girls run to Rinoa, as Squall heads to his group of pals.

SELPHIE: (waves happily) RINOA!!! SQUALL!!!

SEIFER: (blinks) What the hell?? (the couple greet the others, the girls join the guys) WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN, MAN?!

SQUALL: (smiles a bit) Sorry 'bout that, Seifer... was just keeping Rinoa warm and close to me before some goon try to drag her away from me, that's all...

SEIFER/ZELL/RAIJIN/NIDA: (simultaneously) ARE YOU CRAZY, SQUALL?! WERE YOU TRYING TO PREVENT HER FROM COMING OVER HERE?!

SELPHIE/QUISTIS/XU/ELLONE/FUJIN: (simultaneously) WHAT?! HOW CAN YOU DO THAT?!! SHE'S GOING TO BE THE HOST FOR IRVY KINNEAS' ARRIVAL!!!

SQUALL/RINOA: (simultaneously) NO (I/HE) WASN'T!

SEIFER: (clears his throat) Look, never mind all this crap... we're here anyways...

RINOA: (curious) Did we miss anything?? Is Irvy here yet?

SELPHIE: (screams excitedly)OH MY GOSH, OH MY GOSH, WE'RE ACTUALLY GONNA SEE IRVY IN PERSON!!! WE'RE GONNA SEE HIM!!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

RINOA/QUISTIS/XU/ELLONE/FUJIN: (screaming excitedly) AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! (Squall shook his head with his hand on his forehead and his head lowered down, as the other guys roll their eyes)

SQUALL: (glares, getting annoyed at the "Irvy Scream") Will you girls stop that?!

RINOA: (immediately grabs Squall's hands and places them on her chest) CAN YOU BELIEVE IT, SQUALL?! HE'S COMING!!!! HE'S COMING!!!! IRVY KINNEAS IS COMING!!!!! AND HE'S GONNA KISS ME ON TV!!!!! CAN'T YOU TELL I'M SO EXCITED?!!!!!

SQUALL: (lowers his voice with sarcasm) Ecstatic...

Without anymore words to exchange, they hear one of the fangirls calling out loud to everyone about the news...

WINHILL FANGIRL #1: (hysterically) OH MY GOSH, I CAN HEAR THE TRAIN HORN COMING THIS WAY!!!!!! HE'S HERE!!!!! HE'S HERE!!!!! IRVY KINNEAS IS HEEEEREEEE!!!!

WINHILL FANGIRLS: (started singing the anthem again including Rinoa, Selphie, Quistis, Xu, Ellone, and Fujin)
We love you Irvy, oh yes we do
We love you Irvy, and we'll be true
When you are near us, we're blue
Oh Irvy we love you!

SQUALL/SEIFER/ZELL/NIDA/RAIJIN: (getting tired of the song) OH NO.... NOT AGAIN....

They hear the horn of the train clearly, as all hell has just broke loose at the train station. Fans started rampaging through the train station without supervision, as they reach the train platform, waving their hands, posters, flyers, signs, and any other parapharnelia they can dish out to welcome the train where Irvy Kinneas is boarded at. The policemen, the school band, and even the mayor were present, as well as all the other townfolk all over Winhill. As the train approaches the platform, the fans started screaming excitedly, for they saw the glimpse of the handsome, dashing, and popular teen idol and rock singer Irvy Kinneas right outside the caboose. Behind them are his manager Cid Kramer and his secretary, Edea.

WINHILL FANGIRL #2: (screaming excitedly) I SEE HIM!!!! I SEE HIM!!!! IT'S IRVY!!!!!!

WINHILL FANGIRLS: (screaming the "Irvy scream") AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

SELPHIE: (struggling through the crazy fans)OUT OF MY WAY!!! OUT OF MY WAY!!!!! I HAVE TO SEE A GLIMPSE OF HIM!!!! (from behind, she immediately grabs Rinoa along with her) COME ON, RINOA, LET'S GO SEE IRVY UP CLOSE!!!

SQUALL: (sees Selphie dragging Rinoa) HEY!!! LET GO OF MY GIRL, SELPHIE!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!!!! COME BACK HERE!!! (he was about to advance when Seifer and Zell pull him back) LET ME GO, YOU JERKS!!!

SEIFER: (from behind) Calm down, Squall... just let them have their fun for today...

ZELL: (from behind) They are Irvy girls, aren't they...? You can't admit your girlfriend's an Irvy girl too... (Squall stops struggling and turns his face away with anger on his expression)

The train stops at the platform, as the fans gather at the caboose area, where they try to reach their hands to have a single touch on Irvy. Irvy, on the other hand, just waves with a dashing smile, while Cid and Edea both smile excitedly from behind. Plan A of their final publicity stunt before joining the Galbadian Army was a success. They have successfully captured the hearts of the Winhill youth. The band started to play, as the Winhill fans start to sing the anthem again:

WINHILL FANGIRLS:
We love you Irvy, oh yes we do
We love you Irvy, and we'll be true
When you are near us, we're blue
Oh Irvy we love you!

For he's an understanding, patriotic
Healthy normal....
Galbadian...
GALBADIAN BOOOOY!!!!!!

In the meantime, the officers of the Winhill Chapter of the Irvy Kinneas Fan Club (Rinoa included) finally got in front of the screaming fans, as Selphie grabs the microphone from the announcer who was about to announce Irvy Kinneas' welcome.

ANNOUNCER: HEY!!! YOU GIVE THAT BACK!! (Selphie walks away and clears her throat while her heartbeat continues to beat continuously rapid)

SELPHIE: (completely ecstatic) MR. IRVINE "IRVY" KINNEAS, WELCOME TO WINHILL, THE SOUTHERNMOST PLACE IN ALL OF GALBADIA!!

WINHILL FANGIRLS: (screaming hysterically) AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

SELPHIE: (continues on) As vice-president of the Winhill Chapter of the Irvy Kinneas Fan Club, I, Selphie Tilmitt, on behalf of the Winhill Chapter, would like to introduce to you the girl whom you have chosen to bestow upon your goodbye kiss on live on the Laguna Loire Tonight Show... (pulls the excitedly ecstatic Rinoa along right next to her) the girl who will lead the official Irvy Pledge--- the president of the Winhill Chapter of the Irvy Kinneas Fan Club---- RINOA HEARTILLY!!!

WINHILL FANGIRLS: (screaming hysterically) AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

RINOA: (gets in front, eyes completely on Irvy, as she ecstatically places her right hand on her left chest, as she leads the pledge) Fellow fans, let us recite the official Irvy pledge!

WINHILL FANGIRLS: (including Rinoa, Selphie, Quistis, Xu, Ellone, and Fujin)
I, (name mentioned here), have dedicated our happy days of youth
To surely be devoted to the one true legend
The one true hero
The one true symbol of the young generation of today
To the divine, mighty, and dashing
IRVINE "IRVY" KINNEAS
With courage, understanding
Indivisible, with liberty and justice for all!!! (and so, they do the "Irvy Scream")
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Irvy smiles with a small blush, as he waves at them. The bodyguards start to escort Irvy along with Cid and Edea, as the policemen form a barricade against the fans just so no one can get a hold of the star. After he exited the train and heading out to the entrance, the fans start to chase right after him, but with courtesy. They were to head to the Winhill Town Square, where the mayor and the adults have been waiting. Just by the mood of this scene, this is going to be one wild and crazy party.

RAIJIN: (from behind) Man, that was a dumb pledge, ya know? (the other guys roll their eyes)

NIDA: (tapping Squall from behind) Hey Squall, it's over now... you can look up now...

SQUALL: (murmuring angrily to himself) Whatever...

They reach the town square, as the mayor of Winhill, Mayor Dobe, invites Irvy to take the stand so he can make the official welcoming of the star to their small, sleepy (but now noisy) town of Winhill. Irvy steps up, as Mayor Dobe clears his throat over his mic.

MAYOR DOBE: As the mayor of our humble little town, I present to you this Key of Welcome... (he hands the key to Irvy) as a symbol that you are always welcome to come back here to Winhill at any time on our behalf. We thank you for choosing Winhill as your last spot for your special final show! Thank you so much, Irvy Kinneas...

WINHILL FANGIRLS: (screaming at the name of Irvy) AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

MAYOR DOBE: (confused) But... wait... what are you all excited about...? All I just said was "Irvy Kinneas"....

WINHILL FANGIRLS: (screaming at the name of Irvy again) AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Selphie struggles through the crowd, as she gets in front of the loud crowd going nuts over the appearance of Irvy Kinneas, who just remained looking suave and attractive as usual, giving that sweet smile and that seductive-looking gesture of his towards his fans. Followed by Selphie are Quistis, Ellone, Xu, and Fujin. The over-excited Rinoa, on the other hand, is being held back by the jealous, serious-looking Squall, holding her hand tightly, not letting her go.

SELPHIE: (yells out insanely, completely obsessed, as she bends down as if she was praying and calls out to Irvy)OH IRVY KINNEAS, PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLEASE TELL US HOW YOU CAN EVER EVER EEEEEVEEER HAVE THE GROOVE OF DRIVING US CRAZY FEMALES SOOOOOO WILD, SO INSANE, AND SOOOOO YEARNING FOR YOUR DIVINE VOICE, YOUR SUAVE GRACE, AND YOUR UTTERLY HOT MANLINESS THAT WOULD DRIVE US COMPLETELY NUTS ALL OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN FROM ONE CORNER OF DELING CITY TO THE ISOLATED BOONDOCKS OF ESTHAR, CENTRA, BALAMB, TRABIA, DOLLET, AND TIMBER ALL IN ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The girls continue to scream louder and louder and louder, as if they were about to have a heart attack, as Selphie continues on and on and on and on with her nonsense speech, while the rest of her friends join her...

QUISTIS: (yells out along with Selphie) OH YOUR MAJESTIC HUNKINESS OF A MAN YOU ARE, IRVY KINNEAS OF DELING CITY, GALBADIA... PLEASE LET US, YOUR UNWORTHY FOLLOWERS OF YOUR PRESENCE, HEAR THAT ENCHANTING SOUND THAT YOU CREATE KNOWN AS YOUR VERY OWN SINGING VOICE NOW!!!!!!

XU: (going crazy as well) SPEAK YOUR VOICE OF WISDOM, OH DEAR IRVY, AND ENRICH OUR MINDS COMPLETELY WITH YOUR HEART!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ELLONE: (crying out loud) OH IRVY KINNEAS, YOU TRULY ARE A PERFECT GIFT FROM THE GREAT HYNE HERSELF!!!!!!!! YOUR MANLINESS, YOUR VOICE, YOUR MUSIC, YOUR WORDS... ONLY THE GREAT HYNE KNOWS HOW YOU WERE ABLE TO BESTOW THIS GIFTS OF ENCHANTMENT.... OH BRING US LOVE!!! BRING US JOY!!!! BRING YOURSELF TO US!!!!!!

FUJIN: (completely insane along with the other girls) IRVY!!!! FUJIN!!!! MARRIAGE.... NOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!

Fujin suddenly starts to climb up the stage, as Selphie and the other girls pull her back.

SELPHIE: (gasps) FUJIN, CALM DOWN!!!!

FUJIN: (reaching out to Irvy) NO!!! INSEPARABLE!!! IRVY..... AND... FUJIN!!!!! INSEPARABLE!!!! INSEEEEEPARABLE!!!!!!

Meanwhile from behind the crowd, Squall already has his arms around his girlfriend Rinoa's waist, as Rinoa struggles to get in front of the stage to see Irvy up close and personal. She was not even aware that Squall was even keeping her behind so she would avoid being even near Irvy, since she was the "destined one" to bestow the goodbye kiss at the Laguna Loire Tonight Show.

ZELL: (getting worried) Squall, calm down, man... she's not gonna leave you for that loser...

SQUALL: (ignoring Zell) RINOA, YOU DON'T NEED TO SCREAM FOR HIM... WILL YOU PLEASE BEHAVE?!

RINOA: (ignoring Squall, screaming along with the other girls) IIIIIIIIIIIIIIRVYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!! TAKE ME!!!!! TAKE ME NOW!!!!!!! TAAAAAAKE MEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Meanwhile at the sides...

JULIA: (excited as she waves at Irvy with a big smile. Next to her are Raine, her husband, General Caraway, and their son, Angelo) Ohhhh... I never realized how handsome and dashing Irvy is in real life!!

RAINE: (waving happily as well) Ohhh... I think I'm in love, Julia... (Julia starts giggling) But I don't think Ellone would like that.... maybe if he was my age, it'd be totally understandable...

JULIA: (sighs) Poor Rinoa... being held back by her boyfriend Squall...

CARAWAY: (clears his throat) AHEM...!

JULIA: (turns to her husband) Now now dear, you mustn't be this way now... this is all for our dear daughter, hm?

CARAWAY: (turns away from his wife) HMPH! (10-yr-old Angelo turns to his parents and gives them a big smile. Caraway turns his face away without even a word)

Meanwhile, back to the front...

SELPHIE: (continuing to babble more and more)OH, CAN'T YOU HEAR US CRYING FOR YOU?!!! LET US EXPERIENCE THE TRUE POWER OF YOUR TALENT, DEAR IRVY!!!

MAYOR DOBE: (blinks in confusion) WAIT A MINUTE, YOUNG LADY, HOW DARE YOU TAKE OVER MY SPOT!! I'M NOT EVEN DONE WITH MY SPEECH YET!!! NOW ALL YOU LADIES, BEHAVE YOURSELVES!!!

XU: (yells out angrily at the mayor) WHO THE HELL CARES ABOUT YOUR SPEECH?! THIS IS THE IRVY KINNEAS WINHILL DAY WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HERE!!! NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOU!!!

QUISTIS: (sighs with a smile) Ohhhh... we want to hear Irvy sing!

Cid and Edea give the signal to Irvy to just take the microphone and do his welcome performance, just to make these Winhill fans happy...

EDEA: (chuckles lightly) Oh Cid, just look at them... aren't they adorable when they scream crazily like that??

CID: (blinks in shock) My Great Hyne!! They're even worse than the Deling City Fangirls!!

EDEA: (softly chuckles) Ah, but Cid darling, let them have today as their day, hm...?

ELLONE: (yelling out) OH TELL US, OH GREAT IRVY, TELL US HOW WE CAN EVER SATISFY YOU ON YOUR VISIT TO WINHILL... TELL US WHAT SATISFIES YOU IN YOUR AVERAGE TEENAGE GIRL... PLEASE!

Irvy Kinneas just stood there, completely flattered by the love he was being showered by these Winhill girls. He then takes the mic, gazes at Ellone, and answers her curious, desperate question:

IRVY: (starts to sing with a deep, husk, yet very manly and sexy voice)
You have to be sincere...

Without any awareness, Mayor Dobe's wife suddenly fainted into her husband's arms...

MAYOR DOBE: (shocked to see his wife fainted) DEAR?! WAKE UP?! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?!!

IRVY: (singing his second line)
Oh, honestly sincere...

Raine and all of the old women at the sidelines suddenly fainted...

ANGELO: (catching Raine) AUNT RAINE?!

OLD FOLK #8: (waking his wife up) DARLING, WHAT'S HAPPENED TO YOU?! YOU'RE TOO YOUNG TO HAVE A STROKE.. PLEASE WAKE UP!!

OLD FOLK #9: (waving some air on his wife and curses) CURSE YOU, IRVY KINNEAS, FOR GIVING MY WIFE A HEART ATTACK!!!

IRVY: (sings his third line)
You may have everything...

Selphie immediately takes Rinoa's arm and pulls her towards the front so she can share the up close and personal moment with Irvy...

SQUALL: (from behind, attempting to take Rinoa back to him) HEY!!!!

IRVY: (continues to sing the last few lines before the main song plays)
Even the power of your charm
But all that I want from all things
Is your sincerity in my arms....
Honestly siiiinCERE!!!

Irvy suddenly jumps down from the stage, as he lands right in the middle of the crowd. Now everyone present has gone REALLY mad and insane all over. He dances around with his signature shaking (kinda like Elvis Presley's shaking), as all the fangirls gather around, dancing along with the beat.

IRVY: (with all the girls surrounding him)
If you do have your words
If you do have your smile
If you do have your looks
I don't even care
All I want from you is to be
SINCERE!!

The fangirls scream madly, as they all split away from Irvy, as he continues dancing. From out of nowhere, a group of teenagers, both girls and guys, started dancing to his song...

IRVY:
If you wanna be sincere,
If you think you're sincere
Don't just say it with your voice
'Cuz sincerity is my choice

Irvy gets close to Quistis and Xu dancing...

IRVY:
LISTEN!!!

Quistis and Xu faint in bliss. He then heads close to a group of girls...

IRVY:
BABY!!

The girls faint in bliss like Quistis and Xu. From behind, Ellone grabs on to Irvy by his waist, as Irvy turns his head and sings his sexy voice to her...

IRVY:
Sweetly...

Ellone suddenly faints from that voice. From out of nowhere, both Selphie and Fujin drag themselves on to the ground as they grab both Irvy's legs while he's shaking all about...

SELPHIE: (screams madly) OHHHHH IIIIIIRVYYYY!!!!

FUJIN: (screams even more madly than Selphie) IRVY!!!!!! MIIIINE!!!!! INSEPARABLE!!!!! FOREVER!!!!!!!

Raijin dashes from behind and pulls Fujin away from Irvy...

RAIJIN: (gets mad) Fujin, stop that! You're embarrassing Irvy from your insanity, ya know?!

FUJIN: (trips Raijin down on the ground with her leg) DORK!

RAIJIN: (hurting) Owwww... Fujin....

FUJIN: (yells at Raijin) IRVY! MINE!!!!

In the meantime, Angelo starts dancing along, as Caraway stops him from dancing with a strict expression...

ANGELO: (frowns) DAD?!

CARAWAY: (turns away) BAH...

All of a sudden, Julia faints, just like half of the females present...

CARAWAY: (catches his wife) ACK!

ANGELO: (gasps in shock) MOM?!!

Back to the center of the stage, Irvy and the fans continue their partying, as Irvy continues to sing...

IRVY:
If you say you're sincere
If you think you're sincere
I need to see your honesty
Be part of this integrity
For me to be near
You have to be...

He heads right towards Rinoa, where she is being held by Squall from behind. Irvy does not pay attention to Squall, as he gazes right at Rinoa's eyes. Squall glares with a serious killer glare at Irvy...

IRVY:
SINCERE!!

Rinoa suddenly faints in Squall's arms...

IRVY: (makes a soft gesture to the girl he's going to kiss in a few days) Beautiful...

SQUALL: (has thoughts in his mind) (Your head is mine, Kinneas...)

Squall carries the fainted Rinoa away before anything worse happens. The party continues, and this time, his aim was right at Selphie and Fujin, who had been clinging on to him all this time...

IRVY:
BABY!!

Selphie suddenly faints, as Fujin stands up and starts screaming madly.

FUJIN: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

RAIJIN: (suffering from all the madness, still on the ground) Fujin... I think it's time I turn you back in to the mental hospital... owwww...

Irvy now faces the screaming Fujin, as he sings...

IRVY:
If you want to be sincere
You must be honestly sincere!

Fujin faints finally... he turns to another group of girls...

IRVY:
If you want to be sincere
You must be honestly sincere!

The group of girls faint... as he repeats the same line from one group of girls to the other until there's no more girls left to make them faint...

IRVY: (finishes singing)
OH! MY BABY!
OH! MY BABY!
OH! MY BABY!
OHHHHHHHHHHH... YEAH!

The fainted girls start to twitch a little...

IRVY:
YEAH!

They twitch again...

IRVY:
YEAH!

Another twitch...

IRVY:
YEAH!

From out of nowhere, a girl tries to sneak behind him to embrace him, but as Irvy turns around, the girl suddenly faints before she can even have her grasp on to the star.

IRVY: (finally finishes the song)
YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAH!!!

And so, everything at the scene went quiet. In fact, all the men were very exhausted from catching every single fainting girl, little girl, teenage girl, young adult, adult, and old folk alike, from hitting the ground while they fainted that the men fainted in exhaustion as well. This, of course, included Squall, who just fainted in exhaustion with the fainted Rinoa in his arms.

IRVY: (sees everybody including his manager and his secretary fainted, as he yells out) WHOOOOOO!!!!! YEAH!!!! MAN IT FEELS TO BE ALIVE IN THIS PLACE!!! WHOO!!!

And so, we finally welcome Irvy Kinneas to Winhill. After all this continuous fainting going on around Winhill, especially the fangirls, this would only give us a clue... there's something more to our rock star Irvy than meets the eye, alright. But then again, how will we ever find out Irvy's true character and nature when they only see him on TV and hear his singing voice over the radio? Here in Winhill, this is their final chance before he gets drafted to join the Galbadian Army. In addition to that, it looks like Rinoa went back to her "Irvy obsession" days. Just two days of being together with Squall, it looks like the relationship may be in deep trouble. Like Seifer and the others kept telling Squall, it was only just a stupid goodbye kiss and nothing more than that. Squall starts to get worried on the inside--- What if he loses Rinoa to this... rock star... or worse... losing her to her Irvy obsession... and obviously, he didn't want that to happen.

Well, let's all find out later in Chapter 5 of Bye Bye Birdie. Have a nice day!

Chapters 5-7