11/25/05  in the year of our lord.

Yargh, is me, the good cap’n, with news to thrill ya, landlubber! Ya see, I be thinkin’ and I realize, God be motral! How does I know this? Yargh, tis simple! By using the Lovelace ratio, I can prove that time works like an ocean. Now then, if God be time, ee’ be jess like this, ee does, shaped like an ocean and all! Now, as a man who sailed many an ocean in his time, pillaging and plundering, I know a thing or two about them, I does. Water, it evaporates if there be too much o’ eet’! So, we jess need to make plenty of time-heat to make God dissipate!

            You may be wondering, though, how do we make time heat? Time friction is the answer! Simply send items back in time so fast that they burn up! With enough of this so called time friction, this time heat, t’would be no problem making God evaporate, yargh! That cloudlubber as’ no defense from ‘is own properties! ‘Ees ours for the taking! The problem is, though, how do we get enough time heat? Afterall, it would take plenty of objects moving back in time at super-quantum speeds to create such friction! Where could we possibly get enough willing participants, people risking their lives to take down the omnipotent enemy?

            Tis simple! The American Army! There be enough of them landlubbers, with their vehicles and weapons, to create space time heat enough to melt the sun, much more so God! Argh, afterall, ain’t we all Americans? ‘Ooh ain’t an American these days? Even them thar terrorists? They be Americans! You? American! My aunt? American! Even I, a proud pirate, is American. Ow’ this be so? Just tis’! Ya no more can fight it than ya could a giant kraken, terror of the briney depths! You enter this world, then ye become assimilated ye does! Tis’ crazy,but true! In fact, America would not exist without us! We all be America! You? You’s is america! My aunt? She be America, too! God? Yargh, even that cloudlubber is America? Money? Tis AMERICA? And Me? Why, I be America!

            I am America. I am America. I am America. I.......am America. I....am....America. I am America? I am America! America? I am America....I am. I am....... I am...... I am.....

             AMERICA!

And now, something I decided to add,

My friend toldmeto update. So listen well, Halo 2 and Call of Duty 2 play very differently. Halo 2 encourages you to throw grenades and generally be a meeleeing basstud; (SEMICOLON) and Call of Duty is the opposite. Coincedentally they are both for the Xbox.

P.S.: This is where the counter should be...