Two Lepps And A Baby

The blinding light poured into the room, waking him from his alcohol-induced slumber. The sound of snoring filled his ears as he rubbed his face and tried to move his tongue. It was stuck to the roof of his mouth.

He blinked a few times before realizing that he was one stretch away from falling off the side of the bed. There was nowhere to go though, as the body in his back pushed against him.

The ringing phone alerted the other two occupants of the bed to the morning as well.

“I can’t reach it.” Phil moaned while sliding his arm around the gorgeous blonde in the center of the bed. She smiled as she snuggled into him. Little did she know, he was just trying to keep from sliding onto the floor.

“What?” Steve huffed. “Yeah, okay.” He hung up the phone and turned to snuggle with the gorgeous blonde in the center of the bed.

“Wait your turn.” Phil grunted.

“It is my turn!” Steve shot back.

“Boys, boys, boys.” She smiled. “I’ve gotta get ready for work anyway.”

“Oh, come on Janie.” Steve pleaded. “I deserve cuddle time after last night.”

She kissed him gently on the lips. “You leaving today or tomorrow?”

“Late this afternoon.” Phil kissed her shoulder.

She pouted. “My photo shoot won’t be over ‘til at least 9:00 ish.”

“Can you come to Sacramento, luv?”

“I wish I could.”

“Well then…” Steve smiled as he ran his finger down her nose. “I guess we’ll see you when we see you?”

“I’ll call when I get a chance.” She giggled as Phil slid off the bed, letting out a yelp.

“Take care.”

She looked into his eyes. “I will, Steve.”

Phil popped his head up from the side of the bed. “Need your back washed?”

Steve sat at the table on the tour bus and read over an article in ‘Guitar’ magazine. He suddenly stopped as if he had just thought of something. “When’s the last time you heard from Jane,” he looked toward Phil.

“Um…” Phil looked up at the ceiling. “That night in LA. You?”

“She called a week or so after that. Said she was commin’ to the Denver show, but never made it.”

“You know Janie, mate. Flies by the seat of her pink, lacy panties,” he wiggled his eyebrows.

He had to smile at the thought. “Yeah, she does.”

 

That night after the show, the band sat around in the dressing room and relaxed a bit before changing.

“So, what’s the plan,” Joe rubbed his hands together.

“You with us t’night mate,” Phil grinned at him.

“What the hell, you only live once, right?”

“Right.” Steve laughed as he lit a cigarette.

“Anyone else game?” Phil glanced around the room.

“What the hell?” Sav rose to his feet. “I could use a good night of debauchery with the Twins.”

“I guess I’m in too, then,” Rick nodded his head as Steve’s guitar tech stepped into the room.

Malvin whispered into his ear, a huge smile forming as he listened. He then looked at Phil. “Janie’s here!”

“Very cool,” Phil grabbed his shoes and shot for the door, Steve hot on his heels.

They opened the door to see their gorgeous, perfect, sexy, daring, wild little Janie waiting for them. She turned around to face them and their eyes immediately shot down to her belly. Their eyes widened as the smiles slowly melted away. “Holy shit!”

Jane sat in the booth of the restaurant and looked between the two. Neither had said a word after her explanation of events. They were both just… dumbstruck.

“Okay, I knew this was a mistake,” she grabbed her purse.

“No, don’t go.” Steve grabbed her arm.

“You two don’t owe me a thing, okay? It’s my fault…”

“It didn’t exactly happen by magic, now. Did it?” Phil raised his eyebrows.

Steve rolled his eyes and then looked at Jane. “We’ll figure somethin’ out, love.”

Phil chewed on his lip, going over and over a question in his mind. Should he ask or just…

“What is it?” Jane flashed her brown eyes at him.

He sighed. Should have known better… “Any ideer who… you know… the father is?”

“Just that it’s one of the two men sitting before me.” She smiled.

“What about your job?” Steve sipped on his drink.

“I had to quit as soon as I started gaining weight. Pregnant lingerie models aren’t really in fashion these days.” She took a long drink of her water.

Phil glanced at Steve, making eye contact for a brief moment.

“I know this is weird. I mean… it isn’t supposed to happen this way. But I don’t want it to get awkward.”

“Awkward?” Phil laughed. “No, never!”

Steve elbowed him.

“Sorry.” He sighed.

“Truth is, I’m not sure if I really want to know who the father is. We three have been… together, or whatever… for the last two years. Splitting up would make it awkward.”

“And what about when the baby’s born. Won’t we figure it out?” Steve asked.

“Maybe.”

“And what happens when we go home?” Phil asked.

“I don’t know, Phil.” Tears filled her eyes. “I don’t know, okay?”

“Time out.” Steve waved his hands. “We’ve all got a lot to think about. Why don’t we sleep on it?”

They nodded their heads and headed for the door. Jane walked toward the entrance of the hotel.

“Where you goin’?” Steve frowned.

“To my hotel.”

“Since when?” Phil looked confused. “Aren’t you gonna stay with us Janie?”

“I didn’t think you’d want me to.”

Steve wrapped her up in a huge embrace and planted a kiss on her. “I missed you.”

“We,” Phil interrupted him.

“We, missed you.” Steve corrected himself.

“Thank you,” Phil grinned.

Sav raised his eyebrows and looked between them as they spoke. He then turned to Joe, who seemed even more perplexed. Rick seemed unfazed.

“So, is she movin’ in with us?” He referred to the apartment in Paris that they were having furnished as they spoke.

“Well, yeah.” Phil looked as if it were the first time he had really thought about that question.

“And where exactly is she stayin’ while she’s here?” Joe rubbed his chin.

“In our room.” They nodded as they turned to Robert.

“Don’t you think it’ll get… cramped? With a pregnant woman, especially?” Robert offered.

“So what’s your idea?” Steve asked.

“Jane gets her own room. I mean… you two can barely get you arses up to do interviews after she’s visited anyway. What’s it gonna be like with her livin’ with ya?”

Steve and Phil stared at one another.

“It’s settled then.” 

Jane walked into her hotel room and looked around as Phil and Steve dropped her bags behind her. She turned around and took a deep breath. “So, I suppose you have interviews and stuff to do?”

“Uh, yeah.” Steve sighed.

“Will you be okay?” Phil looked around the room.

“I’ll be fine. I think I’ll go shopping or something.” She reassured them. “Go on.”

“You know the number if you need anything?” Steve hugged her tightly.

“I do.” She closed her eyes as she enjoyed his tight embrace.

He whispered into her ear. “I’ll stay t’night to tuck you in.”

“I’d like that.” She smiled as he kissed her.

Phil took his turn hugging her as Steve walked toward the door. “Behave.”

“I’ll try.” She giggled as he nibbled on her neck.

He then whispered into her ear. “I’ll try to sneak back for supper, right?”

“I’ll be here.” She smiled as he kissed her.

“Oh!” Steve walked back into the room. He reached into his wallet and pulled out a few hundred dollars. “Have fun shoppin’.”

“No, St…” She held her hands up.

“Go on! Have a blast!” He pushed the money into her hand and then kissed her cheek.

“Thanks.” She watched her boys as they walked out the door.

They waved one last time before walking off. She closed the door and then sighed. What the hell had she gotten herself into?

 

 

Phil blinked his eyes a few times before looking over at the clock. 4:00 AM and he couldn’t sleep. He stared at the ceiling for a long while, wondering what Jane was doing. He looked across the room to see a sleeping Steve before slowly and quietly slipping out of bed. 

Jane sighed as she pushed the covers back and swung her legs over the side of the bed. She yawned as she walked to the bathroom. She didn’t find the need to close the door. Not like anyone who cared was there anyway.

Just as she finished washing her hands, she heard a light knock at the door. She smiled to herself in the mirror before going to answer it. Standing there in the dimly lit hallway stood Phil.

“Hi.” She whispered.

“You okay? You need anything?”

“I’m fine. Potty break number 2.” She rested her hand on her belly.

“Oh. So… need tucked in again?”

“Sure.” She giggled as she walked toward the bed.

He closed the door behind him and followed her to the bed. It was then that he realized that times like this were extremely rare. He hardly ever had Janie all to himself.

She looked up and noticed the ornery look on his face as he watched her climb under the covers. “Something tells me you’d like to do more than tuck me in.”

“That okay? I mean… I don’t wanna hurt the baby or anything.” He sat beside her on the bed.

“You won’t hurt anything.” She took his hand and led him to a spot on her belly.

Phil’s eyes widened as he felt the movement under his hand. “Wow. Little bugger’s got a kick.”

“Yeah.” She grinned.

It was then that he realized… that baby could really be his. He was going to be a daddy. He returned his gaze to Jane and watched her for a moment. “I love you, Jane.”

“Huh?” Her eyes lit up as he crushed his lips deeply into hers.

“Hey!” Steve kissed Jane’s cheek. “We’re gonna party t’night. Wanna go?”

“Um… not really.” She sighed. “I’m really tired.”

“You sure?” Phil stepped up behind them.

“Yes. You two go on. You need to unwind a little.”

“We’ll tuck you in before we go, right?” Phil grinned.

“I’ll be waiting.” She kissed each of them before they went on the stage for the show. 

Later, after the show…

“Hiya, boys.” A pair of brunettes circled the Terror Twins like sharks.

“Ladies.” Steve grinned.

“My friend and I have a surprise for you.”

“Lead the way, love.” Phil finished off his beer and threw the cup into the trash. 

Jane watched the television as long as she possibly could. She clicked off the tube, dropped the remote onto the bed, and turned to the clock. It was 1:30 AM. The boys must have forgotten about her.

She waddled over to the bathroom, but stopped when she heard voices. Smiling, she cracked the door open to see what the boys were up to. 

Steve stepped off of the elevator with his arms draped around… what was her name again… Melinda. That’s it. And Phil staggered down the hall with… Jody? Or was it Jamie? Anyway, they had definitely been drinking.

The smile on Jane’s face disappeared as she watched Phil fumble around with his room key. The group laughed and made a comment or two as the girl with Steve began unbuttoning his shirt. In a flash, the door was open and they all piled into the room.

Tears filled Jane’s eyes as she closed her door and sighed. This was crazy. What was she thinking? She couldn’t bring a child into this kind of life. And it was quite apparent that neither was really ready for the responsibility.

She wasn’t quite sure if it was hormones or reality, but it didn’t matter. She was tired of being stuck in a hotel room all day. The “dirty little secret” of the Lepp family. She didn’t deserve that, and neither did her child. 

The next morning, Steve woke up to kisses on his stomach. He smiled as he opened his eyes. Suddenly, a thought entered his mind.

“Crikey!” He jumped up,

“What?” Phil flew up out of his bed.

“We forgot to tuck Janie in last night!” He grabbed his jeans.

“Blimey!” Phil followed.

They both quickly ran out the door.

The girls sat up and stared at one another. “What the hell was that?”

 

“Janie!” Steve knocked for the tenth time.

“C’mon, Janie! Open up!” Phil shouted.

“Shhh!” Steve listened at the door. “She’s gone.”

“Come on!” 

The elevator was taking way too long, so they decided to take the stairs. By the time they reached the lobby, they were completely knackered.

Slowly, they made their way to the front desk. Steve was gasping for air, so Phil spoke.

“Ave… you been… workin’ all night?”

“I’ve been here since about midnight, sir.”

“Do you…” Steve coughed. “Know if Jane LeMaire… checked out?”

He looked through his register. “We don’t have anyone with that name.”

“Tiny little pregnant lady.” Phil offered.

“Bout this tall.” Steve stuck his hand out.

“Curly, long hair.” Phil added.

“Blonde, brown eyes.” Steve looked at Phil.

Then, they both spoke. “And she’s pregnant.”

“She didn’t check out, but she had her luggage and asked that I call a cab.”

“Where to?”

“Airport.”

“Thanks!” They both ran out the door. 

Jane sat at her terminal and read a magazine. After hours of waiting, her flight was ready to board. She checked her makeup in her compact one last time, only to see two faces standing behind her. She rolled her eyes, closed the compact, and rose to her feet.

“And where we goin’?” Phil crossed his arms.

“Home.” She spoke plainly. “I’ve bothered you long enough.”

“Bollics! What’s goin’ on?” Steve sat next to her, pulling her down to sit beside him.

“You guys aren’t ready to be fathers. It’ll be best if I just…”

“That’s complete shit, Jane!” Phil watched her. “It’s just as much our responsibility as it is yours.”

“We’re supposed to be takin’ care of you, remember?” Steve rubbed her hands.

“Kinda hard to do with two girls in your room.” She looked away. “I don’t want my child around that.”

Both were silent.

“You’re right.” Steve spoke up.

“I’m gonna go change your ticket.” Phil smacked the chair before rushing off to the ticket counter.

Jane looked up at Steve. “I’m tired of being hidden away every day. Do you realize that you haven’t invited me to one show since I’ve been back?”

“No, I didn’t.” He sighed. “I’m sorry, luv. We’re new to all this. It’ll take some gettin’ used to, I guess.”

“Me too.” She sniffed.

“No tears.” He lifted her chin. “We’re gonna get through this, baby. It’ll be all right.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because. You’ve got my baby in there.” He rested his hand on her belly. “And I love you.” He kissed her.

Her eyes widened before she gave into his kiss.

Phil returned a moment later. “All done.” He brushed his hands together.

“Thanks.” Jane wiped her eyes as she looked up at him.

“C’mere.” He pulled her into his arms and planted a long kiss on her.

The elderly people sitting behind them looked at one another and shrugged their shoulders.

Jane looked over her shoulder to see that the band was busy with an interview. She carefully picked up the phone and dialed.

“Hello?”

She smiled when she heard her best friend’s voice. “Hey, Dana.”

“Hi, Janie! Oh my gosh, I was just thinking about you! How are you?”

“I’m good.”

“So, did you do it? Did you tell them?”

“I did, and I’ve been touring with them ever since.”

“Really? Wow. That went better than I expected.”

“Me too.”

“Then why do you sound so depressed?”

“I didn’t expect both of them to tell me that they love me.”

“You’re kidding! I guess that blows your whole idea, then.”

“I was so sure that Phil would get spooked and it would just be me and Steve. Actually, Phil was the first to say it.”

“And what about you?”

“I’m just so confused. I really do love them both, just in different ways.”

“Are you still… you know, sleeping together?”

“It’s funny, it’s almost like they’re sneaking around behind one another’s back.”

“That’s not good, Jane.”

“What exactly am I supposed to do about it?”

“I think you’re going to have to eventually chose. Maybe after the baby’s born…”

“I don’t want that. I wouldn’t have to choose if I wasn’t pregnant.”

“How is this kid gonna feel, having two dads? Poor thing will be so confused.”

“Its just more love.” She smiled. “I think they’re both going to be excellent fathers.”

“And I think you’ve lost your mind.”

Rick dropped his bags down and looked around the apartment. Still three bedrooms. How in the hell were they going to fit Jane and a baby here?

“Hi, Rick,” she walked in from a bedroom.

“Wow, you look like you’re about to pop!” he laughed before hugging her.

“I feel like it,” she smiled. “The boys went to find groceries. Your room’s at the end of the hall.”

“So where are you stayin’?”

“Here and there, I suppose. You three will be takin’ off to record shortly, so I don’t suppose it matters.”

He watched her for a moment. “So what are the plans for dinner?”

“Um… not much. We’ve got a Lamaze class tonight, so we’ll probably grab somethin’ on the way out.”

“Both the twins goin’ to that?”

“Yeah. Won’t that be a sight,” she raised her eyebrows and laughed. “I know they didn’t give you much of a choice about me moving me. If you don’t like it, just tell me. I’m more than capable of finding my own place.”

“No, Jane. Where did that come from?”

“I know it makes people uncomfortable,” she looked away.

“You’re havin’ a baby, not an alien. My God, to who have you been talkin’?”

She wiped a tear from her eye. “I just… I don’t want to cause you any trouble.” She nodded before running back into the bedroom.

Phil and Steve walked in to see a befuddled Rick.

“What’s up?”

“She’s either hormonal, or somethin’ happened.”

Steve looked at Phil before they both rushed into Phil’s bedroom. They found Jane sitting on the edge of the bed, sobbing.

“Sweetheart, what is it?” Steve sat beside her and wrapped her up in his arms.

“Nothing,” she continued to sob.

“C’mon, luv. You can tell us,” Phil knelt down before her and patted her knees.

She sniffed before speaking. “I tried to call my parents. They hate me. They think I’m a whore,” she again began to sob.

“Oh, baby,” Steve kissed her cheek. “You’re not.”

“Why in the hell would they say that to their daughter?” Phil became defensive.

“Because I’m Catholic!” she whaled.

“So? You’re havin’ their grandchild! My God, what’s wrong with them?” Steve fumed.

“Have you told your parents?” she looked between the two as she waited.

“Um…” Steve looked at Phil.

“I told me Mum,” Phil nodded. “She thinks I’m a bit off me rocker, but she understands. An’ she can’t wait to meet you.”

“I’ve told the folks about you, but not about the baby. Yet,” Steve blushed.

“Oh,” Jane sighed.

“Look, if you want me to, I’ll call t’night. Do you want me to?”

She nodded her head.

“Fine. After baby class, I’ll ring ‘em,” he kissed her. “Better?”

She giggled as the boys sandwiched her in a huge hug.

 

The threesome walked into Lamaze class that night and looked around for a spot to sit.

“Welcome,” the instructor spoke in a thick French accent. “I am Giselle. You are?”

“Jane LeMaire.”

“Steve Clark.”

“Phil Collen.”

The instructor wrote their names down as she nodded. “And who is the baby’s father?”

“I am,” both men spoke at once as everyone in the room quieted.

“I did not mean the coach, I mean the father. Whose child is this?”

“Until we know otherwise, they both are,” Jane explained.

“I see…”

Jane sat back in her chair after Christmas dinner and rubbed her belly. “Thank you, Connie. It was delicious.”

“Did you get enough, dear?” she asked.

“I’m fine,” she smiled at Phil.

“Told you she’d spoil ya senseless,” he kissed her cheek. “You okay, you look tired.”

“I am,” she nodded. “I think I’m gonna turn in.”

“I’ll be up in a bit.”

She smiled and headed for the stairs. Once the door was closed, Connie turned on her son. “You’re in love with her.”

“Well, yeah.”

“And what if the baby’s not yours?”

He shook his head while staring at his hands. “I don’t know, Mum.”

 

Jane stared at the phone for a long while before dialing. It took forever for the international operator to pick up. Then, she gave them the number.

“Merry Christmas!” she heard her mother belt into the phone.

“Merry Christmas, Mom,” she waited.

“Jane. How are you?”

“I’m good, Mom,” tears filled her eyes. “I’m in London for Christmas.”

“Have you had the baby yet?”

“No, I’m a few days overdue,” she sniffed. “Could be any minute, I guess.”

She heard mumbling in the background. “Honey, I have to go. Thanks for calling.”

“No, Mom! Wait!”

Then, she heard her father’s voice. “I told you not to talk to her!” Then, silence.

She hung up the phone, tears pouring down her cheeks, but then quickly dialed again.

“Ello?” an older male voice answered.

“Um… is Steve there?”

“Who’s askin’?”

“This is Jane.”

“Oh, the one who’s tryin’ to bleed ‘im dry?”

“E… excuse me?”

“Ya know, I’d wager that the father of your baby isn’t either one of the boys.”

She hung up the phone and looked up to see Phil walk into the room. “Well, I guess he told ‘em.”

“That good, eh?”

She repeated the conversation.

“Wow, he’s takin’ it well,” he rolled his eyes.

“I’m so glad Steve doesn’t act like his Dad.”

“You an’ me both, luv.”

Jane woke up and looked around the room. The sun was just beginning to break through the curtains. She then looked over to see Phil sound asleep.

She returned to her back and looked up at the ceiling. Maybe it wasn’t it. She had had so many false episodes; this was just probably one too.

She turned to her side and snuggled up the best she could to Phil. He smiled as he brushed his hand across hers. His eyes flew open as something warm and wet flowed across his leg.

“You just pee on me?” he jumped up.

“Um, no,” she giggled. “My water just broke.”

“Oh. Guess we’d better call Steve then.”

“Guess so,” she nodded.

 

“Merry Christmas!” Steve walked into the hospital room to see Phil massaging Jane’s back.

“Thank God you’re here!” Phil realized that maybe he had said that a little too loudly.

“How we doin’?” he kissed her cheek.

“I hate you,” she gritted her teeth.

Steve slowly looked up at Phil.

“Don’t worry, she hates me too,” he threw his hands in the air.

 

Hours went by, and Jane wasn’t progressing. The doctor examined her and discovered that the cord was wrapped around the baby’s neck.

In a flash, the room was filled with doctors and nurses. Steve and Phil were left standing alone in the room as Jane was whisked away to surgery.

One last nurse entered the room to speak with them. “I’ll show you gentlemen to the waiting room.”

Phil paced back and forth across the room. Steve sat in a chair with his arms rested on his knees. He looked up at the clock and sighed. “It’s been a while.”

“I’m tryin’ not to think about it,” he stopped and rested his hands on his hips.

“You think we’ll be able to tell?”

“I don’t know, Steve,” he sat down next to him. “You ready to be a Dad?”

“No. You?”

“No,” he smiled. “Guess we’re both screwed, eh?”

“Guess so,” he laughed.

They both jumped to their feet when the nurse appeared. “She’s ready to see you now.”

They followed the nurse down the hall. As they passed Jane’s room, they looked at one another for answers. Both shrugged their shoulders. They then passed a huge picture window where dozens of tiny babies were all tucked away in their bassinets.

“I thought we were seein’ Jane?” Phil stopped her.

“No, your daughter,” she pointed to the tiny little girl being held up by another nurse. “Now which one of you wants to hold her first?”

“Huh?” Phil’s eyes widened.

“Hold? No, shouldn’t Jane do that?” Steve backed away.

“C’mon, fellas. You won’t break her,” she all but pushed them into the nursery.

 

Steve was the first to hold her. He sat in a rocking chair as the nurse carefully placed the precious bundle into his arms. He stared at her as she slept.

“Go on, lad. You can touch her,” an older nurse smiled at him.

He nodded and then proceeded to pull her blanket out a bit, trying to get a better look at her face. “You look just like your Mummy,” he whispered as tears formed in his eyes. “You’re beautiful.”

“She does look like Janie,” Phil spoke from behind him.

“Here,” Steve stood up and handed the baby to his best mate.

Phil carefully took her. “Aye, little one.”

The tiny baby opened her eyes for just a moment.

“She ‘as blue eyes,” he beamed. “Just like your Daddy.”

“Hey, I ‘ave blue eyes too.” Steve became defensive.

“I guess we’ll find out when she learns to play guitar, then,” he grinned.

“Yeah, we’ll see how low her strap goes,” Steve chuckled.

“How is Janie, by the way?” Phil looked up.

“She’s resting. Says this one will probably be an only child.”

“Thank God,” both men spoke.

“So, what are we naming her?” Steve looked up from holding the baby.

“Yeah. A last name is kinda important,” Phil nodded.

“I’ve been thinking about that,” Jane spoke while lying on a pile of pillows in the middle of Phil’s bed. “What if one of your names is her middle name and the other is her last name?”

“And what if it turns out to be wrong?” Phil huffed.

“It was just a thought,” she sighed.

“Can we hyphenate it?” Steve looked up. “I had a friend in school who was like that. His name was both of ‘is parents last names. Bryan Green-Young, or something like that.”

“Clark-Collen?” Phil raised his eyebrows.

“Alana Collen-Clark.” Jane smiled.

“No middle name?” Steve asked.

“Alana Jane?” Phil suggested.

“Where are the papers?” Jane looked around.

“Ere,” Phil grinned as he handed them to her.

“Alana Jane Collen-Clark,” she looked up one last time. “You’re sure?”

Without missing a beat, they both nodded, “Yes.”

“I do think you lot look like shit,” Joe laughed as the twins walked into their first day of studio time.

“Big night last night?” Sav followed.

“I think the sleep on the jet was more than I’ve had all bloody week,” Steve mumbled as he plopped into a chair.

“I second that,” Phil looked around. “Coffee?”

“That kid’s got lungs,” Rick was the last to enter.

“Sure she’s not Joe’s?” Sav felt the daggers shoot through him even before he was finished. “Come on, I find it very hard to believe that you don’t know whose she is.”

“Well, ‘ave a look!” Steve whipped out a photo of his daughter and Jane.

“Here’s another,” Phil did the same.

“You tell us!” both men yelled at him.

“Drink your damn coffee and calm the fuck down!” Joe huffed before taking a look at one of the photos. “Blimey, she’s like a blue-eyed clone of Jane.”

“See?”

 

After only a few days of work, the boys were miserable. They missed their little La-la.

Jane brought her out quite often to see her Daddies. So often, in fact, that her first word was “shit”, her first steps were taken walking from one Daddy to another, and the only way the little tyke would fall asleep at night was if both Daddies sang to her. Their phone bills were outrageous.

Then, came the moment of truth. Jane was offered a layout and had to travel to California for a few weeks. It was just the tree of them.

“We can do this,” Steve reassured Phil.

“Yeah, not like we ‘aven’t changed ‘er nappy before, right?” he nodded.

“Did I mention that’s she’s teething again?” Jane asked while carrying her bag to the door.

“She was fine the last time,” Steve waved it off.

“A molar,” Jane’s eyes widened as she gave Alana one final kiss.

“A tooth’s a tooth, right?” Phil looked at Steve.

He shrugged his shoulders.

No sooner did Jane walk out the door, Alana started in. “Key-key!” She reached toward the kitchen.

“No, you’ll spoil your dinner,” Phil led her to the den.

“Key-key!” she whined as she batted her baby blues at Steve.

“You heard ‘im, luv. You can ‘ave one after dinner.”

She began screaming at the top of her lungs, “Key-key, key-key, key-key!”

“Jesus Christ, get ‘er a cookie!” Phil yelled as Steve ran into the kitchen.

Steve nearly jumped over the back of the sofa as he handed her a chocolate chip cookie.

“Tay-coo,” she giggled as she smiled at her Daddies.

“You’re welcome,” Steve sighed as he rolled his eyes.

“You’re what?” Phil’s eyes widened as Jane hit him with the news.

“I’ve been given a really good job offer and I want to take it,” Jane explained.

“But we’re getting’ ready to tour! I thought you guys were gonna come along with us?” Steve looked over at Alana, who was watching cartoons.

“I can’t. Not if I want to get back in the business. And I really want to,” she stared at her cup.

“Then how are we gonna get to see ‘er?” Steve’s heart was breaking. He couldn’t be away from his daughter that long.

“I don’t know, I’m sure we’ll think of something.”

Phil wracked his brain for a solution. “We hire a nanny, she stays with us.”

“I happen to know how you boys get on tour, remember?”

“It’ll be different this time,” Steve pleaded with her.

“Where is she going to stay?”

“We’ll make arrangements to have connecting rooms,” Phil was on a roll.

“I don’t know,” Jane shook her head.

Something happened on Alana’s show that she didn’t like, so she cursed out loud. “Oh, shit!”

“Alana Jane! Don’t say that word!” Jane called out.

“Piss off, ya wanker!”

Phil and Steve both stifled laughter as Jane frowned at both of them. “Now it’s your fault she’s being punished,” she walked into the den and turned of the television.

“Mummy, don’t!”

“You will watch your language, young lady!”

“Turn it on!”

“Don’t yell at me!”

“Daddy!”

Jane looked up as Phil move to get up, “Don’t even think about it,” she growled.

“Sorry, Petunia. You’re on your own,” he sighed.

“Daddy!”

Steve only rolled his eyes, “You really shouldn’t yell at Mummy like that, Plum.”

“Now you will go to your room and you will sit there until you can be a good girl, got it?”

Alana huffed before stomping off to her room.

“See? That’s exactly what she’s going to act like every day with you two.”

“No she won’t, we’ll make her mind,” Steve crossed his arms.

“We did just then, didn’t we?” Phil followed.

“Good luck, boys,” she let out an evil laugh as she walked to the kitchen.

Phil sat in his hotel room and spoke over the phone with a DJ in New York. He answered questions while Alana walked around his room. Their nanny, Melissa, was out shopping for Alana, so they had her all to themselves for a while.

She was getting into this and that, nothing unusual for a three year old. That was, until…

“Daddy, what’s this?” she held up a small packet.

“Just a sec, luv,” he whispered, not really paying attention.

She flipped the packet over and over with her tiny little hands, “Daddy, is it a balloon?”

“Shhh. Daddy’s on the bell, Sweet,” he patted her head.

She sighed as she walked through the adjoining suite and into Steve’s room. He was reading a music magazine.

“Daddy?”

“Yes, Pumpkin?” he spoke without looking up.

“Can you blow up my balloon?” she held out the package. “Please, Daddy?”

“Huh?” Steve looked up to see that she had a condom package in her hand. “Where’d you get that?” he quickly took it away from her.

“It’s mine!”

“No, it’s yucky, Alana,” he stormed into Phil’s room.

Phil quickly looked up at him as he threw the packet at him.

“What the…” he took a good look. “Where’d she get that?” he yelped as he scanned the room and noticed that his bags were open.

“I suggest you put your bags away!” Steve spat before returning to his room.

“I want my balloon!” Alana whined.

“That wasn’t a balloon, luv.”

Phil finished his phone interview and stormed into Steve’s room. “What were you doin’ in Daddy’s things?”

“Don’t yell at her when it was your fault,” Steve huffed.

“She knows better.”

“She’s three years old, Phillip! She does not!”

As the two were bickering, Alana took the opportunity to slip out and run back to Phil’s room.

“Where’d she go?” Steve looked around the room.

“La-la?” Phil called out.

“What?” she sang.

“Whatcha doin’?”

“Drawing.”

“With what?” Steve asked.

“My crayon.”

Steve let out a small groan before walking through to check on her.

“Look, Daddy!” she held out her hand that had permanent black ink drawn all over it.

“Alana Jane!” he gasped.

“I have a tattoo.” She explained.

“Ugh!” Phil looked at the mess. “Okay, that was my fault.”

“Bath time!” Steve smacked his hands together.

“No bath! Can we swim?”

“Only if you take the soap with you!” Phil chuckled. He caught the evil stare that Steve was shooting at him. “C’mon, Sweet. You heard Daddy.”

“Aye, Sprog,” Joe smiled as Alana climbed up into his lap.

“Uncle Joe?”

“Yes, luv?”

“I think I need a drink,” she sighed dramatically.

“You want root beer or Coke?”

“I’ve had a hard day, I think I need a beer,” she nodded.

He began to laugh. “How hard could your day have possibly been?”

“My Daddies have yelled at me all day.”

“Well that’s not very nice, is it?”

“No,” she pouted.

“Well, you can ‘ave a nip then,” he held his glass up for her.

“Thank you,” she grinned before taking a drink. “Okay, I love you, bye-bye,” she kissed his cheek and walked over to Sav.

“Uncle Sav?” she climbed up into his lap.

“Yes, La-la?”

“I love you,” she batted her eyes at him.

He grinned at her. “What do you want, Cupcake?”

She pointed to his cup.

“No sweetheart, that’s yucky. Hows about some root beer?”

She pouted at him.

“Don’t do that, luv.”

“Please?”

He rolled his eyes as he held out his cup of beer. She took a drink and then smiled. “Okay, I love you, bye-bye,” she kissed his cheek and walked over to Rick.

“Uncle Rick?” she climbed up into his lap.

“Yes, La-la?” he grinned at her.

 

Jane walked in and looked around. The party was in full swing. Phil and Steve were in a corner speaking with a group of brunettes. She scanned the crowd for Alana and found her on Rick’s lap, taking a drink from his cup.

“That better be soda!”

Rick froze and slowly looked around to see Jane standing there with her arms crossed.

“Mummy!” Alana jumped down and ran to her.

“Hi, baby!” she smiled as she scooped her up and gave her a big kiss. “Mmmm. Beer breath on a 4 year old,” she looked over to see Joe, Sav and Rick scurrying away.

“Let’s go see your Daddies, shall we?”

“No! They’ve been mean to me today,” the tot pouted.

“What happened?”

“I got a spankin’!”

“What did you do to deserve it?”

“Nothin’!” she whined as they made it to the group.

“Aye, Janie!” Steve gave her a kiss.

“This is a nice surprise,” Phil followed.

“I see you’re keeping a good eye on your daughter,” she sneered.

“She’s been with her Uncles,” Phil waved her off.

“And she’s drunk,” she waited.

“What?” Steve yelped.

“No she…” Phil noticed her rosy little cheeks and the fact that she could barely keep her little eyes open. “Crikey.”

“I suggest we go back to the hotel and talk about this.”

“Night, girls,” Phil pouted.

“Take care,” Steve followed.

The other three Lepps watched as the twins left with Jane and a sleeping Alana.

Phil woke up the next morning to see a tiny set of blues staring back at him.

“Mornin’, Daddy.”

“Mornin’, Petunia,” he smiled and pulled back the covers so she could snuggle up to him. “Where’s Mummy?” he yawned.

“In bed with Daddy,” she sighed.

He frowned and looked out the door. “Since when?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well, he’s not in trouble anymore, then.”

“Why was he in trouble?”

“Because of what you did last night,” he looked sternly at her. “You know what you did was wrong, yeah?”

“Why?”

“Little girls aren’t supposed to drink beer. It’s very bad.”

“Then why do you drink it?”

“Because I’m an adult and I can.”

“But why, Daddy?”

“Because it tastes good to adults.”

“I like it too,” she rationalized.

“You ‘ave to be a certain age to drink it. If you drink it when you’re little, the police will come and arrest you.”

Her eyes widened as she gasped.

“Phillip!” Jane could no longer contain her laughter from the doorway.

“Well, you think of somethin’!” he smiled at her.

She rolled her eyes, “Let’s go to breakfast.”

Alana sat quietly in the greenroom and colored as Melissa watched over her shoulder.

“Are you going to finish your sandwich, ‘Lana?”

“I’m full.”

“I’m full what?”

“I’m full, thank you,” she smiled at her before returning to her coloring.

“Much better,” she tossed the paper plate into the trashcan.

Phil opened the door and peeked in for a moment. He smiled at Melissa and then pulled a lady through the door with him.

“Aye, La-la. Watcha doin’?” he knelt down beside her.

“I made a picture for you, Daddy,” she held it up to show him.

“That’s absolutely brilliant, luv,” he kissed her cheek. “Thank you.”

She looked up at the lady.

“Alana dear, this is Rachael.”

“Hi, Alana,” the lady knelt down to talk to her.

Alana turned back to her Daddy. “Can we have pizza tonight, Daddy?”

“You’ll ‘ave to ask Daddy, because Rachael and I are going to be on a date.”

She frowned at him. “But I don’t want you to.”

“It’s all right, luv. I’ll be back in plenty of time to read a story and tuck you in, right?” he looked at Rachael.

“Of course,” Rachael smiled at the little girl.

“No!” she wrapped her arms around Phil’s neck and squeezed. “He’s my Daddy!”

“I’ll still be your Daddy if I go out with Rachael t’night, luv,” he kissed her. “Now be a good girl, okay?”

“Daddy,” she whined as he rose to his feet.

“I’ll see you later, Petunia.”

“No, Daddy!” tears filled her eyes. “Daddy, don’t go!”

He looked at Melissa and nodded.

“She’ll be okay,” she reassured him.

“Bye, La-la,” he turned to leave.

“No, Daddy!” she screamed. “I love you, Daddy! I’ll be a good girl! Don’t go!”

“Shhh,” Melissa held onto her. “It’s okay, luv.”

“I want my Daddy!” she reached her arms out toward the door.

Steve heard the screaming and ran into the room. “What’s wrong?”

Melissa let go as Alana ran into his arms, sobbing. “Phil introduced Rachael.”

“Bout bloody time,” he rolled his eyes.

“Daddy left me!” Alana sobbed.

“No he didn’t, Angel. He just went out for a bit. He’ll be back later, I promise,” he kissed her over and over again.

“I want my Daddy!”

“He’ll always be your Daddy, no matter what. I promise.”

She settled down and looked at him. “You won’t leave me, will you Daddy?”

“Not in a million years, luv.”