In today’s modern society there's so many problems out there. You can point out inflation, poverty, war, crooked politicians, liberals, etc... One problem that plagues us so often, you may not even realize it, are rice burners. They clog our streets, they race illegally, and they drive terribly just to name a few of the problems these rice burners cause.
The term rice burner is applied to most imports. You could actually use it for any import, but it's more commonly reserved for Japanese cars. What I reserve the term for is the modified Japanese imports, these are said to be "riced out." You can see them on the road everyday, especially if you go anywhere near Morton. These rice burners may have spoilers (also called wings), body kits (also known as very gay), decals, etc...
Who has a need for any of this junk that they put on your car? Most people are under the assumption that the spoiler helps your car go faster, it's even on the Ford web site. This is untrue. They don't help you go faster at all. They actually create drag, this is why stock cars, nascars, and racing speedboats use them. They keep they vehicle on the ground or water. You can see boats flip up, this is because of lack of drag. Some cars actually look good with a spoiler, just small ones. I mean really small ones, like on a Camaro. The wings are reaching sizes of epic proportions. It makes me sick to my stomach. Now we see so many body kits out there. This is just junk. Look at your car with that on there. It doesn't look cool at all. I just get a kit out of the rice burners that get stuck on speed bumps, or those that have their rims stolen and are left sitting on the body kit. Body kits are just expensive pieces of junk that do nothing but make your car look more homosexual than it was before (I always see these import freaks driving around with the body kits unpainted, if you get that crap at least make sure you have enough money to get it painted). We also see the decals all over the cars. This makes your car a bill board, it's that simple. I don't care what kind of import crap you have in there. It's all junk anyway so why would you advertise it? What's one of the most well known trademarks about an import? You can hear it before you can see it! These spoiled kids today think that they need "racing exhaust" to make their cars go faster. "Yeah man, I can get ten more horse power from this." If you run some straight pipes with glass packs you'll run just as fast and sound manlier doing it! Why would you want your car to sound like a weed whacker anyway? These loud exhaust systems they have are also know as "fart cannons", "fart pipes", and a few other names I can't mention here.
Another assumption these import kids seem to be under is that neon lights make you go faster. Here's a little insight into their though patterns... yellow equals fast, and fog lights equal cool. They have Neon license plate frames, Neon lights on their wind shield wipers, on the inside of their cars, on the tail pipes, and god only knows where else. All of these are illegal. They don't help you go any faster. You see some with all this crap (and I do mean crap) and nine times out of ten it's improperly installed. Fog lights and under body lights going every which way. Oh yeah. It's so cool isn't it.
People always talk about their "built" engines. How can a four banger be "built?" There are V8's out there that will run 10's in the 1/4 with no NOS, or Turbos or superchargers, now I would like to see that on a naturally aspirated Honda. Then if you want to go into a big war, the V8 will always win. The fastest 4 Cylinder time that I know of is 6.95 in the 1/4 Mile. The fastest V8 I have heard of is 4.35 Seconds in the 1/4 mile. Problem solved, no matter how much you fix up a 4 Cylinder car, the V8 will modify and always win.
I'll take a domestic car any day of the week. What would you rather do? Pay ten grand for a stock import, and god knows how much on the other junk for it or would you rather buy a domestic for about two grand and make it go faster than the built import for about another grand? I'll take the domestic. It's also the patriotic thing to do. Buy American. If you buy an import you're only supporting the evil, baby-eating, child molesting, old lady mooning, impolite, drunk, crack head, racist, primitive, devil worshipping dictators from other countries.
I can directly compare domestics to imports. "We" will be used for domestics, while "they" or anything close to that will be used for rice burners. We have 500 lb.-ft of torque at 3,500 rpm, while they have 50 lb.-ft of torque at 35,000 rpm. We use stickers for contingency, on the other hand they use stickers for extra horsepower. We achieve 600 hp on 92-octane pump gas, while they get 300 hp on $3-a-gallon 100-octane race gas. We throttle steel, they torque steer. We upgrade to a 9-inch because we keep breaking stock rears, but they just realize that their built motor will keep breaking halfshafts forever. We use nitrous oxide, but they use "nos." We have headers and 3-inch exhaust, for some reason they have a stock peashooter exhaust pipe with 5-inch tip.
One thing on a rice burner that really steams my clams is the use of nitrous oxide. I know a lot of domestics use it, but every rice burner wants it. Most commonly called Nos to them (pronounced "nos", but it really stands for Nitrous oxide systems). Nitrous is like a steroid for your car. It's not really your engines power that doing anything for you. It's completely fake. Nitrous also costs a great deal of money. Most of these ricers have the nitrous for street use. They are using this on our streets! The street your mother, daughter, or whoever could be driving on! Once again this brings up the topic of illegal street racing. You never see one of these import freaks walking away with the time slip from a sanctioned race.
In review we look at the facts about imports. They race illegally, forward wheel drive cars look like a dog dragging it's @$$ on the carpet coming out of the burn out box, they look stupid (especially coming out of the burn out box), they sound gay (especially coming out of the burn out box... or whenever they are running come to think of it), they don't have tires just rims with expensive rubber bands, they need spoilers (to go faster?), forward wheel drive cars with wheelie bars are double gay, they are the reason for all kinds of new glow in the dark wire loom kits, a 2" header dumping into a 5" tail pipe (why!?), 5" tail pipes with red lights in them (once again I ask why!?), the interiors look and smell like the toy and bubble gum isle at Wal Mart. Don't become a victim of these monsters, get them before they get you
