OK, the first thing that needs to be said is that I'm not sure if I liked Watchmen or not. The action was great, the characters were deep (even if they weren't very background-detailed), but the movie's almost 3 hours long and the plot is extremely unclear until about the last hour.

We start off with a brief montage history of the Watchmen, starting with their origins and going through their ups and downs throughout the years. It's 1985, and Nixon is still president on his 5th term. Wait-what? I've heard about retelling the past in a movie, but this just seems goofy. Seriously, Nixon? FIVE TERMS?! OK, we'll try to look past that. The previews lead you to believe that someone is killing off all the masked heroes, but this is totally off. Only one is murdered (The Comedian), and the movie is basically 2 hours of revealing his despicable past. And oh yeah, there's a countdown to a nuclear holocaust. And Mr. Manhattan and Silk Spectre are having relationship problems. And Rorschach is pissed that nobody's fighting with him. And these plot points are buried by an unbelievable number of flashbacks to the point where you wonder where the fuck in the movie you're at!

Here it needs to be said that the action is badass! They can all fight with almost superhuman ability, despite the fact that they're all human (well, all except Mr. Manhattan, da blue guy). Rorschach is intimately detailed, and he is, well, interesting. It seems that he hates humanity and all people, yet he fights for justice. By the way, if you like blue electric penises, then this is the movie for you! You see Mr. Manhattan's dangle so many times that it makes you wonder. So many male ass and penis shots in this movie, yet you only get a few seconds of sideboob (RIPOFF!).

Overall, the movie is engaging, even if it's impossible to know what the fuck's happening. I would have enjoyed it if it was only 2 hours instead of the 2 hours 50 minutes it runs (and I felt like I ran a marathon by the time it ended).

Gonna have to give this one 3 out of 5 blue electric unnecessary constant penises.