Little Miss Muffet returned to the tuffet

With a sawed off shotgun.

The three little Pigs opened a casino

With a buffet that served wolf meat.

The three bears pressed charges

And sued Goldilocks for trespassing

The Queen of Hearts was the judge

And Mary Contrary’s executor was the bailiff.

Jack and Jill tumbled over each other

But not on a hill, they were on their honeymoon.

Everything had changed

So that stories could compete with television