Rick Savage reclined his seat back and closed his eyes as his plane took off out of New York. He and the rest of the band had just finished a round of meetings to tie up the loose ends of the Euphoria tour. He had just left Q-Prime Management a few hours ago to get the final number that the band pulled in on their most recent tour. With a smile of satisfaction, not to mention a wave of exhaustion, he was now on his way home to Ireland.

However, the light shining above him penetrated his closed lids, making it impossible for him to sleep.

"Joe…do you have to read?"

"Sorry, let me move the light over more," Joe Elliott said as he maneuvered the little light above more in his direction.

"Thanks," Sav murmured.

"No problem. You’re awfully knackered."

"I am. You have no idea how much I can’t wait to get home and be normal for a while. I had to watch my son grow the first seven months of his life on the road, which wasn’t much."

"Well, now you got the rest of the year, or…at least until we start writing again," Joe said, before pausing a bit. "Um…..now that you do have time on your hands, what about you and Kelly?"

Sav opened one eye. "What do you mean?"

"What I mean, is…….are you gonna get married?"

"I don’t know, mate," Sav replied. "I mean, she hasn’t pressed the issue, which surprises me. I guess….I don’t know….she’s just happy with our arrangement the way it is. I know my mum’s been bugging me to marry her and ‘make an honest woman of her’. We’ve been together for almost three years and she’s stayed by me until my divorce was final."

"Yeah, but now she’s the mother of your child. Unless you’re fine with the idea of keeping it the way it is."

Sav let out a heavy sigh. "Its not that I’m not. I mean, I want to do whats right and marry her. I got a little old fashioned sense in me from my parents. I want Ryan to be legitimate, but…."

"….but what?"

"I..I don’t know," Sav said with confusion. Something about Kelly that I can’t put my finger on. I mean, she hasn’t blatantly displayed any kind of warning signs that were so obvious with Dara. Maybe that’s it – maybe its just too perfect. However, the fact that she doesn’t bring the idea of marriage up kinda worries me. I know that sounds silly, seeing how Bobbi’s been hinting for years."

"Well, maybe she’s waiting for you to bring it up," Joe finally said. "Now that you’re off tour and you’re all home as a happy, little threesome, why don’t you discuss it with her."

Sav closed his eyes again. "Yeah, that’s a good idea. I think I will."

"That’s what I’m here for, mate," Joe said. "To come up with the answers to everything."

"Joe?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut up."

**********************

Sav entered his house to hear the sound of 7 month old Ryan John Savage crying in the backround. He dropped his bags in the foyer and followed the sound into the kitchen, only to find Ryan in the arms of his nanny, Bess, who was startled upon seeing him.

"Oh goodness! Mr. Savage, I didn’t even hear the front door open."

"I can’t see how you would with this little bugger crying in your ear. C’mere, little mate."

Sav gently plucked Ryan out of Bess’ arms and snuggled him over his shoulder, rubbing his hand up and down his small back. His crying instantly stopped.

Bess shook her head. "Ah, nothing like the familiar feel and scent of a parent."

"I’m surprised its familiar at all, since he was practically on tour with me these last seven months. Um….is Kelly home."

"N..no. She had to go home to the States for a spell, remember?"

Sav looked at Bess puzzled. "No, I don’t remember. She never said anything about going to the States."

"Oh, well, she contacted me right after you left for New York saying that she had to fly to the States. Some family emergency."

Sav’s mind reeled. "Emergency? She didn’t say anything to me about that. She didn’t call either. I had my cell phone on the entire time and she knew where I was staying in New York."

Bess looked worried. "I….I don’t know, sir. That was all she told me."

"Did she leave a number where she could be reached?"

"No, she didn’t. She left me your number at the hotel in New York and your mum’s number in Sheffield in case of anything."

Sav didn’t like the sound of this at all. What was Kelly thinking taking off, leaving a seven month old baby with the nanny and no forwarding number?

"Here, Bess…..take him," Sav said handing Ryan back to her. "Let me call around to see if anyone heard from her or see if she left a note or something."

"Well, I didn’t see one, unless she left it in your bedroom."

Sav immediately turned and went to his bedroom. He turned on the light and froze. There, on one of the bed pillows, was an envelope with his name on it. He walked over, retrieved it and tore it open. Unfolding the paper, he read the words in front of him.

Sav sat on the bed absolutely numb from the shock of what he just read. He read the letter three more times to make sure it wasn’t a joke. When he was sure it wasn’t, the shock of what just happened sunk in.

Kelly had abandoned him. No…..Kelly abandoned her own child!

"How could she?" Sav thought to himself as he choked up with tears. "How could she be so bloody, friggin’ heartless? I knew there was something! I just knew it! But….I didn’t think she’d take off and leave her own son. I know fathers do that, but I never imagined a mother doing so. Oh God! I can’t believe this. How could that bitch do this to me. No….to Ryan."

Sav ended his thoughts by crumbling the letter in his hands and letting his tears fall.

2

The following morning, Sav was awaken by the sound of Ryan cooing and gurgling coming from the baby monitor on his nightstand. He looked at the clock - 6:15 am! He rolled his eyes, wondering how that kid could be awake, seeing that he spent between 2 and 3 a.m. trying to rock him back to sleep after giving him a bottle.

When he broke the shocking news to Bess yesterday, the poor woman was positively heartbroken and burst into tears over the news of a mother abandoning her child. Sav had asked Bess if she could stay the night in the nanny’s quarters, but she had a prior family commitment that made it impossible to stay. Seeing how upset Sav was over what happened, Bess took it upon herself to contact the agency to see if there was anyone who’d be able to fill in, but came up short.

Sav told Bess not to worry, that he was perfectly able of taking care of Ryan. He just thought, with all the emotional turmoil going on inside, that it would be good to have a helping hand around.

However, Ryan was his son and he was no responsible for him all around, no matter how tired he was. It was the sacrifice of being a parent.

Sav rolled out of bed and made his way into Ryan’s room to find the happy, chubby 7 month old trying to stick his feet in his mouth. Upon seeing his father peer into his crib, Ryan smiled wide, clasped his hands together and stuck them in his mouth.

"Everything’s in the mouth," Sav thought, remembering what his mum said about 'teething’.

Sav reached in and scooped him out of the crib. "Well, looks like you’re not gonna let me sleep there, little mate. "Let’s see if you need changing then we’ll get you a bottle."

With a clean diaper on his little bottom, Ryan found himself over his father’s shoulder and being walked downstairs.

Sav went into the fridge and pulled out one of the pre-measured bottles that Bess had prepared for him before she left yesterday. He put Ryan down in his baby seat while he warmed the bottle up. As he waited, the events of yesterday unfolded in his mind over and over again, making it seem like a nightmare.

"I can’t believe this happened," he continued to think. "How could she leave me and the baby behind without a thought? I don’t care so much about me, although, I did love her. But it hasn’t bothered me the way it should’ve. Maybe….maybe I wasn’t in love her. Maybe that was the thing I couldn’t put my finger on. Perhaps it was her aloofness about getting married and having a future that made me hold my feelings back a bit. She probably had this planned for a while. What kind of heart did she possess, leaving her child the way she did? Perhaps it was a good thing we didn’t get married, only to have her leave like this because it didn’t turn out the way she planned. God, it would’ve been worse than what Dara did!"

Sav was snapped out of his thoughts by the sound of Ryan’s hungry wail. He took the bottle out of the pan of water, tested it on the inside of his wrist then sat down at the table. He turned the baby seat towards him and stuck the nipple in Ryan’s mouth, watch him hungrily suck on it. Sav couldn’t help but smile to himself

"No wonder you’re getting so fat, little man!"

As he watched his son drink his bottle, an overwhelming feeling of unconditional love came over him. Thank God Ryan was too young to know what was going on. However, what would he do when he got older? How do you explain to a little boy that his mum took off on him and his father because she didn’t want to be a mum anymore?

Sav’s heart ached for this precious little boy and it caused a fierce wave of protectiveness to overcome him. He knew that no matter what went on in his life, this child was gonna come first. He would sacrifice whatever he had to and would take him everywhere with him when possible. His mother may have abandoned him, but he would not. And, he would always make sure that Ryan would have the best care possible for the times he couldn’t be with him.

That reminded Sav that Bess would be here around 7:30am. After feeding and burping Kyle, he picked up the baby seat and carried it into the bathroom. He sat it down on the floor while he took a quick shower.

He was finished and dressed just in time as Bess arrived.

"Good morning, Mr. Savage," she said with somewhat sad eyes as she entered

"Well, I wish it were a little better after what happened yesterday," Sav responded, trying to lighten the mood a bit. "Thank you for coming today on such short notice, Bess. I didn’t think we would need you once I got back. However, now that the…….circumstances have changed, perhaps we can workout some sort of a schedule."

Bess regarded him worriedly. "Mr. Savage, I….I’m sorry, but I’ll only be able to work for you for another week. You see, my son-in-law lost his job a while ago and hasn’t been able to find work. They’ve been having difficulty paying their bills because of it. Last night my husband and I told them they could move in with us until they get back on their feet. My daughter will have to go back to work while her husband continues to look, which means, I have to take care of her children for her. I’m…I’m sorry about this, but they have no where else to go and no way to pay for it."

Sav’s heart went out to Bess’ daughter and son-in-law. "Oh Bess…I’m so sorry to hear that. I...I understand and, please let me know if you need anything."

"Well, I appreciate the offer, Mr. Savage. Now, as far as replacing me, I’ve got a call into the agency for a replacement. I also had them inquire as to someone looking for a permanent position, just in case you want a live-in."

Sav thought about that. "Hmmm, that may be a good idea, since I’m the only one here. May be a good idea to have another person around 24/7 in case of anything. I do have the room with a separate entrance, so it wouldn’t be a problem."

"And you know this agency is very strict when it comes to discretion and the credentials of its employees. You can be assured that, whoever they find, will do a stellar job and will keep anything that goes on here confidential. You know….because of who you are."

"Yes, that’s very important to me," Sav said. "Well, lets see who they come up with. I’d like to have you there when I interview since you’ve been with Ryan for a while and are familiar with him. Plus, you seem to have this keen sense of judgement when it comes to people."

"Well, it isn’t that keen," Bess said with sadness. "If it was, I would’ve spotted what Kelly was plann…..I….oh, Lord…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to mention that or…."

Sav halted her by holding his hand up. "No, its okay, Bess. I can’t deny the fact that it happened. I have to force myself not to dwell on it and concentrate on my son."

"Well, the agency said they had someone in mind who’d be available for a permanent position, however, they have to see if she’s not in the middle of an assignment elsewhere. Whoever they find, I’m sure will be wonderful."

"I hope so," Sav said with a bit of uncertainty. "I hope so."

3

The next three days were a series of bizarre and disatrous interviews with possible nannies for Ryan. Three days and three strikes.

Sav had Bess by his side for all of them, each one more disatrous than the last. One was a woman older than Bess who looked like she was best suited to run a Nazi boot camp for children. Another was a younger woman who had a fetish for cleanliness. Not that there was anything wrong with that, but, from the moment the interview started till the time it ended, she must’ve asked to be excused about 4 times so she could go wash her hands. How was she going to handle drool, vomit and…well….a dirty diaper?

The last woman was in her early to mid-thirties, married with no children of her own, but had worked for the same day care facility for a number of years before it closed. She had worked at the agency for 3 years and came highly recommended, however, the hungry look in her eye whenever she looked or spoke to Sav told him that she had to be out the door – fast! She was married for Pete’s sake! Even if she wasn’t, his main concern was a competent, caring, loving nanny for Ryan, not a love interest for him. After what was just dumped on him, that was the last thing on his mind.

On the fourth day, Bess had a received a call at Sav’s residence from the agency. Someone had just become available and she was looking for another assignment, possibly permanent, as soon as possible. Bess had her sent over immediately and hung up the phone, crossing her fingers.

Sav sat on the couch in the living room, his face buried in his hands at the thought of another interview. He needed to find someone fast, for Bess would be leaving in three days. When he heard Bess answer the door, he braced himself for another possible disappointment.

He saw Bess walk in with a pleasant smile on her face, followed by a young woman. Sav gave her a quick glance and felt a twinge of hope. She had to be in her late twenties or early thirties. She was dressed very conservativly in beige twill pants, a prim, white blouse buttoned up to her chin and a pair of brown Oxford flats. She had long, wavy light brown hair that was pulled back into a low pony tail and a pair of small oval glasses sat perched upon her nose.

In truth, she looked like she should be applying for a librarian position!

Sav watched her as she looked at him for the first time. He saw her regard him very discreetly with greenish-brown eyes, before she smiled politely.

He stepped forward and offered his hand. "ello, I’m Rick Savage."

The woman placed her hand in his and shook it. "Yes, nice to meet you Mr. Savage," she said with a sweet, but shy voice. "My name is Rachel. Rachel Morgan."

Sav looked down at her small, warm hand in his. She looked to be on the tiny side, and wondered if she’d be able to handle hauling Ryan around, especially if he continues to grow the way he has been.

"Pleasure, Rachel. Please, sit down. I understand from the agency that you come highly recommended."

Rachel appeared to blush a bit. "Well, that’s very nice of them to say, especially since I’ve only been with them for around two years. I’ve had only three assignments with them that lasted several months each, the last one ending two days ago when the wife decided to quit her job and be a full time mum."

"And…all three have given you glowing reports," Bess added.

Rachel blushed again. "Well that was very kind of them to do so. They were also wonderful people to work for and their children were a joy to take care of."

A possible feeling of relief was beginning to overcome Sav. He just didn’t want anyone to take care of his son, even if he was in a bind. But, so far, Rachel was beginning to show the first signs of some promise.

"Um, how many children did you care for, Rachel?"

"Well, I took care of a four and a two year old with my first assignment, a six year old with my second, and an infant on my last assignment. I was considered more of a ‘babysitter’ than a nanny with the infant, since I was only needed during the parents’ work hours. But, the wife decided to quit her job and stay home, so I wasn’t needed anymore. How old is your child, Mr. Savage?"

Sav smiled whenever he talked about his son. "Ryan is seven months old. He’s very even tempered and good natured, however, on occasion, he doesn’t sleep through the night. He’s been teething and sometimes he wakes up crying. Other than that, he’s pretty much a normal, healthy baby."

Rachel looked to be in deep thought. "Hmm, seven months, huh? He’ll probably be cutting teeth fairly soon. The closer it gets, the more it hurts. The lady I worked for last had this special cooling gel to place on the baby’s gums and sometimes giving a baby a frozen bagel to gnaw on with alleviate the pressure and numb the pain a bit."

Sav’s eyebrows raised with delight at her suggestions. "Really? That works?"

"Well, most of the time, like a charm," she said glancing up at his face and pushing her sliding glasses up her nose. "Um…I understand that this position may be permanent or even….live in?"

"Yes, I’m leaning towards that," Sav said. "Since I’m a….single father, I think it might be wise to have help close by. Plus, with my career, there may be times that I may have to leave on short notice. I just finished up a tour a month ago, so I don’t plan on going away for long periods of time soon. However, in several months, I’ll probably begin work on a new album. I have a bandmate that lives in Dublin and usually go there to write. You…you are aware of who I am and the need for confidentiality in this matter?"

Rachel noddedl. "Yes..yes, Mr. Savage, I do. I understand perfectly. You can trust that what I hear or see in this house goes no further. You have my word."

"Good, I’m glad. Well, Rachel…you seem to be the first nanny I’ve interviewed so far that seems to meet the requirements for Ryan. However, there is one final requirement. Excuse me, please."

Sav got up and walked out. Bess stood up and looked at Rachel. "Would you like some tea, lass"

"Oh..oh, yes, please. That would be nice, thank you."

Bess left the room, leaving Rachel all alone. Once the coast was clear, she let out a long relieved breath. Never in her life did she ever think she’d work for anyone famous and was very nervous about this interview. However, regardless of who he was, he was still a potential employer who’s child had to come first. She loved children immensley and, being single, it was the closest she would get to having any of her own. And, with nary a prospect in sight of becoming a wife and mother, it would probably be all she had.

She never seemed to possess the flair and style that she’d seen in a lot of women in Dublin. She always maintained a simple, fuss free appearance and always dressed plainly and low-keyed. She knew she appeared to be painfully shy on the outside, but, inside, was someone else who didn’t have the nerve to come out. Someone who was a lot more fun and more outgoing. She knew she had it in her, but was afraid that she was fall flat on her face in her attempt to be more of a social butterfly.

Being a nanny, especially for the agency, was perfect for her. She was assured of meeting new people and, of course, working with children. She loved infants especially and looked forward to the opportunity to care for a seven month old. They are so adorable at that age.

"Here we are," came Sav’s voice as he walked in with Ryan in his arms.

Rachel turned and her face lit up at the beautiful, chubby blue eyed baby. She stood up as Sav walked to her.

"Rachel, this is Ryan."

Rachel saw the perplexed baby look her over and knew it was the glasses. Seeing that she only needed them for far away, she took them off, placed them on the table, then shamlessly held out her arms towards Ryan. The baby smiled and lunged out of his father’s arms towards her.

"Well, what a big, beautiful boy you are," she exclaimed as she adjusted him over her shoulder. "Oh, Mr. Savage….he’s darling. He’s……ow!"

Ryan seemed to waste no time in getting a hold of her pony tail and yanked it.

Sav disentangled Ryan’s hand from Rachel’s hair. "No, Ryan, no," he said, even as his own fingers felt the thick, silkiness of her hair. He pulled away immediately, not knowing where those thoughts came from. She was a simple looking lass – not normally the type who would attract his eye, but had an innocent quality about her that was fetching.

"Since you’re already cared for a baby before, I’m sure you know how they like to grab onto things," Sav said.

‘Oh, yes," Rachel exclaimed. "I’ve learned that the perfect ‘nanny uniform’ is hair ‘up’, earrings ‘off’, glasses ‘off’, well, that is…if I don’t need to see far away."

"You too? I’m short-sighted as well. Here I thought I was a dying breed!"

Rachel laughed at his humor and found his smile charming and beautiful. And, just as quickly, she banished the thoughts she was having. There would be no way on earth, even if she weren’t his employee.

She continued to focus on Ryan, talking and cooing at him, as she absentmindedly began to walk around with him in her arms. Sav stood back and folded his arms, as he regarded Rachel interacting with his son. It was important to him that Ryan ‘took’ to whoever it was who was to help care for him and the nanny, in turn, had to display an ease about him as well. So far, he liked what he saw.

He then turned to Bess who was staring at Rachel with Ryan as well. A satisfied smile on her fact only confirmed what Sav was thinking. Rachel more than likely had the job.

"He seems to take to you," Sav said. "You have a natural way about you with babies. I guess all your previous experience shows. If..if you’d like Rachel, the job is yours."

Rachel looked up with startled eyes. "It…it is?"

"Well, I do want to have your references checked as well and, for the final three days that Bess will be with me, I want you to work closely with her and observe the routine, that is…until you settle into one of your own."

Rachel blinked with disbelief. Here she was being offered a job to care for the baby son of a famous rock star. Stuff like this just doesn’t happen to someone like her. But it just did.

She also wondered about Ryan’s mother. Was Sav a widower? Was he divorced and awarded full custody of Ryan?

Rachel knew very well that the answers to those questions were none of her business. Perhaps, along the way, she’d find out.

"Yes, I understand. I’d love the opportunity to work with this little one," Rachel said as she tweaked Ryans nose, being rewarded with a laugh.

"Good, well, if you can stay for a while, you can get a head start with Bess on some instructions and get a little more acquainted with Ryan."

"Yes, I’d be able to stay for an hour or so," Rachel replied.

"Very well," Sav said. "So, Rachel….welcome! I’ll contact the agency and tell them that everything worked out well and that you’ve been hired. I’m very pleased to know that Ryan will be in good hands after Bess leaves."

Rachel looked at him and smiled as she shifted Ryan in her arms. "You’ll have nothing to worry about, Mr. Savage. I’ve always make a point to treat the children I care for as if they were my own."

Sav saw the the honesty of her words and felt a wave of relief. Yes, this was gonna work out just fine. She was highly recommended, reliable, dependable, polite, personable and, well, likable. He raked her attire that covered her from neck to ankle and suddenly wondered what she’d look like in something a little more revealing, before shaking the thought from his head.

Why was he thinking that? It didn’t matter what she looked like, as long as she cares for his son properly. The fact that she kept her appearance simple and understated made it easier for him to keep his mind on other things.

However, the curious male in him made him wonder if there was an enticing woman under that conservative exterior!

4

Over the next two months, Rachel had fallen into a solid routine in taking care of Ryan. She hadn’t become a full time live-in yet, having to have given her landlord a month or so notice on her flat. Once the time came, she took what personal possession she had that were transferrable, put her furniture into storage, and moved into the nanny’s room that adjoined the side of the house.

One room had a door that allowed her private and entrance and exit to the outside, while another door led to the hallway where Ryan’s room was just next door where she could be within earshot in the middle of the night. It was an arrangement she felt comfortable with, and so did Sav.

Over time, he became very confident, not to mention impressed, with Rachel’s abilities with Ryan. For someone who wasn’t a mother herself, she seemed to have a natural instinct. No doubt what she knew she picked up in her time with her previous employers.

The first thing she did was administer that miracle blue gel to Ryan’s gums to alleviate his painful teething. She always rubbed his gums down after his night bottle so he’d have enough relief so he’d sleep through the night – which he’d been doing since Rachel took over.

She always made sure she was up, showered and dressed well before Ryan usually got up. Once he did, he was usually fed, bathed and dressed by the time Sav emerged. Since his bedroom was not on the same level as the upper rooms, Rachel was able to care for Ryan early in the morning without disturbing, however, Sav never slept late.

Sav usually spent his days in leisure, trying to get as much relaxation in as possible before he knew it was time to start thinking about writing for the next album – their tenth! He never had a doubt about the band continuing for as long as they could, whereas Kelly assumed that he’d throw it all away because they had a child. God knows what she would’ve expected of him if he married her!

Throughout his day, one of his favorite things to do was watching Rachel interact with Ryan. He always set aside a block of time during the day and at night to where it was just him and Ryan, giving Rachel some time to herself.. He noticed that she never really went anywhere nor out with friends. It was during this time that he realized how lonely she must be. In truth, he felt the same way. With Kelly gone and his family in Sheffield, the only people he had here was Ryan and Joe.

He was always very comfortable around her and enjoyed talking to her, however, most of their conversation seemed to center around Ryan. He had yet to talk to her on a personal level, although he knew that she was probably keeping things between them professional as not to seem like she’s prying.

However, the more he didn’t know about her, the more he wanted to know. She was really beginning to intrigue him, why he didn’t know. She always dressed very plainly and simply in ‘baby proof’ clothes, wore little or no makeup and kept that gorgeous head of hair of hers clipped up out of Ryan’s reach. He hoped over time that he’d get to know a little more about her. After all, she is taking care of his son.

One day, Rachel was having trouble putting Ryan down for his afternoon nap and literally had to walk him all over the house to lull him to sleep. She ventured into the sitting room that had an antique desk tucked away in the corner.

Upon the desk were various frames of all shapes and sizes with pictures of what she assumed were family and friends. She recognized one of the band, one with and older man and woman she assumed were his parents, and many other people she didn’t recognize.

However, one in particular caught her eye. It was one of Sav and a lovely blonde woman in a very intimate pose. She wondered if this was his girlfriend. Or….maybe ex-wife….or….Ryan’s mother. If it were his girlfriend, she’d never seen her since she came to work for him. Maybe she lives in another country?

Her thoughts didn’t allow her to hear Sav enter the room.

"Oh, there you are," he said.

An almost asleep Ryan suddenly lifted his head at the sound of his fathers voice. Rachel instantly turned so that Sav would be out of Ryan’s view. She knew that once he saw his father, he’d never go to sleep. Rachel looked at Sav and put a finger to her lips. Sav caught on and mouthed "sorry".

Sav quietly walked over to where she was looking and saw the pictures. And then he frowned.

The picture of him and Kelly in the forefront caused his insides to coil. He then picked the picture up and walked out of the room with it. Rachel saw the look on his face when he did that and was perplexed by it. If it was his girlfriend, it wasn’t anymore.

When Ryan was sufficiently out, she laid him down in his crib, grabbed the monitor and went into the kitchen to take an inventory for some shopping. She found Sav in there, clutching the picture and staring out the huge bay window that overlooked the ocean. When he heard her enter, he startled a bit.

"Oh, I’m sorry. You looked like you were in deep thought. I only wanted check the formula and baby food supply. I may need to take a trip to the store. I can come back later."

As she walked out, Sav called out to her.

"No, Rachel…its…its okay. You don’t have to leave."

She cautiously came back in and eyed the picture in his hands. "I hope you don’t mind that I was admiring your pictures in the room while I was getting Ryan to sleep."

"Oh…oh, no…not at all. Most are of my family back in Sheffield. My mum, brothers and especially my dad. He passed away 6 years ago."

Rachel heart fell when his voice dropped as he said that. "I’m so sorry."

"Thank you. He was a good man. I miss him terribly."

"I’m sure its tough with you living here and the rest of your family in England."

"It is. It was a tough decision. But with the money I made, especially back in the 80’s, I was in way too high of a tax bracket. Joe and I both escaped here to Ireland, which isn’t too much of a plane ride from our families in England. The rest of the band opted for sunny California."

Sav saw her smile before looking down at the picture in his hands. He knew she was wondering who it was, but was too polite to ask.

"Why do you look so sad, if you don’t mind me asking?"

Sav was surprised at her boldness, though he was glad. In a way, he felt like talking about it, if anything to get it off his chest. Although Joe always listened, he was sure that Joe had his fill of listening to what Kelly did to him and Ryan.

"No..not at all. You’d find out sooner or later, since you’re Ryan’s nanny. The woman in this picture is his mum, Kelly. She and I were together for 2 ½ years before she became pregnant with Ryan. He was born while I had a small break in our last tour. When it resumed, Kelly and Ryan came with me. I knew he was still small, but I didn’t not want to see my son grow. It worked out alright, until the tour ended. I guess the reality of touring with a child, not to mention the reality of being the girlfriend of someone who’s in a band, was too much for her. Two weeks before you were hired, I came back home after a meeting in New York to find a note from Kelly that she was leaving. Me and Ryan. She stated that being the mother of a child who’s father’s in a rock band wasn’t what she thought it would be. So she just upped and left us."

Sav slowly registered the shock on Rachel’s face over what he admitted to her. He then saw her eyes glisten with tears.

"W..w..what? Are you saying she left her child, and…and you…..just like that?"

All Sav could do was nod.

Rachel was beyond stunned. "She…she left her child? Oh…my…God! I..I don’t believe it! Who could just up and abandon her own baby?"

"Obviously she could," Sav blankly replied.

"Did…did she ever voice her anxiety about being a mother?"

"No…nothing," Sav said. "Maybe if I knew she was having a problem, I wouldn’t have been so shocked by what happened. But, to think everything’s alright, then have this happen….."

Sav’s voice just trailed off, not being able to finish speaking it. All he did was slide the cardboard stand off the back of the frame, remove the picture, tear it in fours and throw it away. He then tossed the frame on the counter and stood there numbly.

"Mr. Savage, I’m……I’m so sorry about this. I had no idea who that woman in the picture was. If I did, I never would’ve asked……"

"That’s right, Rachel. You didn’t know. So, there’s nothing to be sorry for. As I said, you would’ve found out sooner or late. Its alright, really. And…one more thing, when we’re in private like this, you can call me Rick. Mr. Savage makes me sound so…….old! Turning 40 soon is enough to remind me that I’m getting old."

Rachel smirked at his attempt at humor to soften the harshness of the topic of conversation. She also saw him grin at his humorous attempt, which caused her heart to leap a bit. Why, she had no idea. Well…of course she did! He was a very attractive man. But, she reminded herself, that was irrelevant. First of all, her only connection to him was that she was Ryan’s nanny. Second of all, even if she wasn’t, guys like him – good looking, rich, famous rock stars, don’t go for plain Jane’s like herself. They go for….well…..for women who looked like Kelly.

Still she felt good that he wanted to confide in her, if only because she was Ryan’s nanny. He also looked so sad, that a natural response to make him feel better took over.

"Oh, Mr. Sav…..I mean, Rick….by all means, you are not old. Just getting older. There’s a big difference."

Rachel wasn’t sure, but she could’ve sworn she saw him blush as he turned his head down. He then looked back up after a bit.

"Thank you, Rachel. I appreciate that. Now, I tell you what. Why don’t you take some time off this afternoon? I’ll take care of Ryan if he wakes. I want some time alone with him anyway. Maybe you could go visit some friends or family."

Sav saw Rachel look about with awkwardness. "Well, as far as my family’s concerned, my parents live in Waterford. I majored in Children’s Education in university and I moved to Dublin thinking I’d have a better chance at a teaching position, however, there wasn’t anything readily available. I began to work for the agency just to pay the bills. I wound up loving it so much, that I decided to stay with them as long as they had assignments for me. As for friends, because of my rotating assignments, and the fact that I’m never really around anyone my age, I never really had time to establish anything solid."

Sav smiled with a bit of sadness. He admired her courage in leaving her friends and family way behind to come to the busiest district in Ireland to make something of herself. But, her aloneness tugged at him a bit.

"Well, I’m sure you will, in time,"Sav assured her. "Since I want to spend as much time with my son as possible, especially before I have to begin work on the new album, I can be very flexible with Ryan’s schedule, should you want some personal time during the day, or go out at night. Please, all you have to do is ask. You’ve already proven yourself to be very dependable and loyal, not to mention that you’re absolutly wonderful with Ryan."

Rachel flushed from his compliments, even if they were about her ‘abilities’ and not her ‘person’.

"Thank you. Thank you very much. I love working with him. And….I’ll keep your offer in mind, should an opportunity arise. Well, I guess I’ll use this time to finish this list and get to the store."

"Okay," Sav said. "I think I’ll just go look in on Ryan then do a bit of work. I’ll um….see you when you get back."

Rachel nodded and handed him the baby monitor as he walked out of the kitchen. She then went through Ryan’s supplies and made her list of what was needed. Before she left, she looked in the pail and picked up the four pieces of the torn picture. Kelly’s head was still intact and she studied it. She really was beautiful. Well, she didn’t doubt that Sav wouldn’t want to have a beautiful woman as a girlfriend!

Rachel looked at Kelly’s dark blonde hair that was highlighted with a lighter color, her beautiful blue eyes under perfectly shaped brows, a face that was made up to enhance, not overpower. Rachel then looked at another piece of the picture to reveal Kelly’s outfit – a short, fitted red dress and matching shoes. She was the picture of breathtaking beauty and style.

But had the heart of a monster to leave her baby boy behind without a thought.

Rachel threw the pieces of the picture back into the pail, then caught her own reflection in the window. Her glasses covered eyes that didn’t know whether to be brown or green. Her hair, her best asset, was one dark color, her face bore no make up and her clothes – well, they were for caring for children, not for hitting the hot spots with a rock star boyfriend.

One day, she promised herself. One day when she allowed herself the time and the opportunity to make some friends and get out a bit, she’d pay a little more attention to her appearance. That part deep inside of her longed for it, although reality told her it wasn’t necessary.

5

A couple of weeks later, Rachel was just putting Ryan down for his afternoon nap when she heard the front doorbell ring. She then heard Sav’s voice, followed by another male voice and a female one.

After standing above Ryan’s crib for a few moments, making sure he was out for good, Rachel grabbed the monitor and walked out. She heard Sav with the other two people downstairs in his entertainment room. As not to intrude on him or his company, she kept to the kitchen and made herself a cup of tea.

While waiting for the water to boil, she heard a pair of slow, high heeled footsteps enter the kitchen. Rachel looked up and locked eyes with an incredibly gorgeous woman.

"Oh…I’m sorry, I didn’t know anyone was in here," the woman said. "You must be……Rachel, I suspect."

Rachel regarded the gorgeous redhead, dressed to kill in fitted black pants, a low cut white tank, pale pink leather jacket and black high heeled boots.

"Yes, I am. Rachel Morgan. I’m Ryan’s nanny."

"So I’ve heard," the woman said brightly. "Rick’s done nothing but brag about what a wonderful job you’re doing with Ryan. Oh, listen to me! How rude I am. My name’s Bobbi. I’m his bandmate Joe’s girlfriend. We just stopped by for a visit on our way out."

"Oh, well, its nice to meet you Bobbi," Rachel acknowledged, unable to take her mind off the fact how perfectly beautiful she was. Well, naturally! She was the girlfriend of a rock star!

"And you as well. I’m sure we may see a lot more of each other. If Joe isn’t here, then Rick’s over his house."

"I know, I’ve been warned," Rachel said. "Ri….Mr. Savage told me that the band will be starting work on a new album soon."

Bobbi smirked a bit at the formal use of Sav’s name. It was obvious that Sav told her to call him ‘Rick’, but she must’ve sensed that, with Bobbi in the room, to use a more formal address.

"Yeah, well, once that starts you may never see Rick. Unless its very early in the morning or very late at night. He practically lives at Joe’s, mainly because Joe has a studio at the house and they can do more."

Rachel just nodded, enjoying the fact that she was pleasant and easy to talk to. Her eyes continued to wander over her stylish clothes.

"Bobbi, forgive me if I seem like I’m staring, but…..your outfit is smashing! I always wished I could wear clothes like that."

Bobbi’s eyes sparkled a bit as they perused Rachel, as if she were a mannequin to be dressed.

"Well, I don’t see any reason why you can’t. Even though you have a long sweater on and pleated pants, you look like you’re slim. You could very well carry off clothes like this."

Rachel blushed a bit. "Oh, well, its….its not that I don’t think I couldn’t, its just…well…..being up to my eyeballs every day with drool and dirty diapers, I don’t think they’d be appropriate to wear."

"Well, no, you’re right," Bobbi said. "But, what about when you go out?"

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Haven’t had time for that. Well, actually, I haven’t had a chance to make any stable friends since I’ve been in Dublin. The good thing about it is that I wind up saving all my money instead of spending it."

Bobbi looked aghast. "Oooooh, that’s a dirty word with me – save! No, well, actually, it isn’t. I just love to shop. The trouble is – Joe hates it. Well, not shopping – just that I like to do it a lot."

Both girls giggled a bit, which caught the attention of two men entering the room.

"Oh, Bobbi – I see you’ve met Rachel," Sav said.

"Oh yes. We were just shooting the breeze – shopping and stuff."

"Oh Lord!"

"Oh Joe, stop. She was just admiring my outfit and, well, the topic of clothes naturally came up!"

"Your favorite topic, too," Joe said with a hint of humorous sarcasm, before turning to Rachel. "Well, allow me to introduce myself. I’m Joe Elliott, or, as your employer here must’ve described me to you – a major pain in the arse!"

"Joe!" Sav scolded. "I never talk about you like that."

"Yeah, right. And Malvin just may grow his hair back!"

Rachel had a wide grin on her face, watching Sav and Joe jest each other. She enjoyed it mostly because it was the happiest she’d ever seen Sav. No doubt these two men have been friends for a very long time, and it showed.

"Well, Joe, I have to agree with my employer," Rachel said. "He never referred to you as that."

"Thanks for coming to my defense, luv," Sav said.

Rachel’s heart thudded when he called her ‘luv’. True, it was a common term that Brit’s used for ladies, but….she wasn’t just a lady. She was his employee. She decided to shrug it off, not to look too much into it.

"So, where is the little bloke?" Joe said looking around.

"Oh, afternoon nap," Rachel said. "Just put him down."

"Any problems?" Sav asked.

"Not a one."

"Rachel’s been wonderful with Ryan," Sav gushed. "Since she started, he now sleeps through the night, doesn’t suffer too much from his teething and goes down the same time every afternoon."

"So we’ve heard Sav," Joe mused. "Rachel….all we’ve heard was how wonderful you are with Ryan."

Rachel blushed under the praise, as well as did Sav for Joe’s admission of his bragging about her."

"Well, Ryan being a pleasant child helps."

Joe looked up at the clock. "Crikey, we’re running late. Sorry mate, don’t mean to say hello and run but we’ve got to get going."

Joe then turned to Rachel. "It was a pleasure meeting you, Rachel. I’m sure we’ll see a lot more of each other."

Rachel nodded and turned to Bobbi. "Nice meeting you too, Bobbi."

"Listen, since you’re still kinda new around here, if you’d like, let me know and I’ll take you shopping one afternoon. I’ll show you all the best clothing stores."

"Bobbi, if you take her shopping, she may never come back," Joe stated. "You have absolutely no concept of time when you’re in a store!"

Bobbi made a face at Joe then turned back to Rachel. "Don’t listen to him. If you have any free time or an afternoon or evening off, let me know. I just love breaking in newbies."

Joe grabbed Bobbi’s arm. "C’mon, luv….lets go before you brainwash her too fast."

Bobbi rolled her eyes and waved goodbye before they both let themselves out the front door.

When the door closed, Sav turned a smiling face to Rachel. "Well, you’ve definitely made a friend in Bobbi, especially if you want to shop! But, Joe’s right. Beware – she can go non-stop."

"I’ll try to restrain myself," Rachel said with a chuckle. Just then, the sound of Ryan’s fussy cry came blaring from the monitor.

"Oh dear," Rachel fretted. "That wasn’t too long of a nap."

"That’s okay, luv, I’ll get him. I want to spend some time with him. I’ll see if I can get him back to sleep."

Rachel thanked him as he took off. She then smiled to herself over meeting Bobbi. Well, if one does want to know how to dress to impress a rock star, then who better to inquire of than a girlfriend of a rock star!

Rachel suddenly stopped her thoughts. Did….did she just admit that she wanted to ‘impress’ Sav? No…no, that wasn’t the case. She just wanted to be a little adventurous and splurge on something she always wanted to wear, but didn’t have the opportunity, nor the nerve, to. Maybe a little shopping excursion with Bobbi would be just the thing she needed to open her up a bit.

She’d been in Dublin two years now and it was time for her to start having some kind of a personal life. She even thought about taking a night class in some subject that interested her, just to get involved and meet people. So far, her life had rotated around taking care of other people’s children. She knew she needed more in her life, but never found the time. However, since she came to work for Sav, her sudden desire to do so finally surfaced. Was it because of him? Did she secretly want to impress him and secretly hope that, since he was newly single, that……..?

"Oh God, Rachel….what are you thinking?" she scolded herself. "The guy’s girlfriend, not to mention the mother of his child, just took off on the both of them. The last thing he probably wants right now is to get involved with someone again so soon – and especially not with his son’s nanny!"

The whistling teapot interrupted her foolish thoughts. She grabbed the pot and poured the steaming water into the cup, reminding herself, again, what her position was here and the grim reality of it.

Nanny’s don’t date their rock star employers.

Not even if they call her ‘luv’!

6

A week or so later, Rachel had Ryan sitting in his little bathtub as she lovingly washed him. He was a little over ten months now and was desperately latching onto anything to try to stand up. It would only be a matter of time before he’d be walking soon.

As she watched him playfully splash the water and try to say ‘da-da’ that she’d been teaching him, she began to think about Ryan’s mother and wonder if she was thinking about him and what stage he was at. So far, she knew of no contact Sav had with Kelly – or vice versa – since she’d been here. Could this woman truly have meant that she wanted no part of her son in her life ever?

As devestating as the circumstances of Kelly walking out on them were, Rachel tried not to focus on it too much. In the last several days she’s been thinking about taking Bobbi up on her offer to get out and do some shopping. With all the money she saved, she thought about making a substantial withdrawal and buy herself some clothes that didn’t make her look like a schoolmarm. She was only 31 years old, had a decent figure, good skin and facial features, though she did nothing to enhance them or bring them out. After looking at the picture of Kelly, and the amazing figure of Bobbi, she suddenly felt a desire to perk up her appearance a bit.

And Sav was not the reason why.

As much as she tried to convince herself of that, the more she knew it was a lie. Over the months, she was beginning to feel a closeness to him that owed nothing to possible intimacy, but a need for each other’s companionship. She had to remember her position here first and didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize her job as Ryan’s nanny – especially by falling in love with Ryan’s daddy.

Rachel also wasn’t stupid and knew that it wouldn’t be long before someone who looked like Sav wouldn’t be without an intimate companion for long. No doubt, he’d find himself another Kelly – tall, blonde, beautiful, built……perfect!

She pulled Ryan out of the bathtub and gently towel dried him then dressed him in an adorable outfit of denim shorts, a white Baby Gap t-shirt, white socks and little Reeboks. As she headed into the kitchen, she put him in his high chair and began to prepare his lunch. Sav headed out to Joe’s for the day, so it was just the two of them.

She prepared Ryan’s bottle and gave it to him to feed himself while she selected a jar of baby food to give him something solid as well. As she did, the phone rang.

"Savage residence?"

"Rachel. Hi, its me….Bobbi."

"Oh…..hi Bobbi. How are you?"

"Good, good. Listen, Rick’s here and he just happened to mention that you have tomorrow off. Hows about a shopping date, you and I? Then maybe come back here, get changed and head out to the pub for dinner and some music. How does that sound?"

In truth, Rachel didn’t think any offer sounded better in her life. "Oh, Bobbi that sounds brilliant. I was just thinking about taking you up on your offer. I think its time to take some of that money I’ve got saved and, well, spend a bit of it."

"Ah, a woman after my own heart," Bobbi sighed into the phone. "Okay, it’s a date then. We’ll start out early. I’ll pick you up around 10:30am."

"Um…okay, sounds good," Rachel said.

Both girls hung up. Rachel turned to Ryan who was busy sucking on his bottle. "Well, little man, it wasn’t the kind of date I had hoped for, but at least I’ll get out a bit."

Meanwhile, Bobbi hung up on her end with a smile of victory on her face. Ever since Sav came to the the house and announced what Kelly had done, she wanted to hunt that heartless wench down. Sav was the last person who deserved to have his heart broken – again.

When he began to sing Rachel’s praises, Bobbi was dying to meet the woman who put a smile back on his face, if only for the reason that she took exceptional care of his son. When Bobbi finally saw Rachel, she didn’t see a Plain Jane, but potential. All she had to do was rid herself of those prim, preppy clothes, lose the glasses, maybe lighten the hair a bit and work some magic with make up.

Bobbi had a knack for style and image, and Rachel’s desire to perk herself up a bit offered her the opportunity to play Professor Higgins to Rachel’s cockney flower girl. Well, Rachel wasn’t really that bad. She didn’t have to be overhauled inside and out. She was more of a…a…diamond in the rough. The exterior shell was there – it just needed a bit of polishing.

And Bobbi knew she’d have a blast in trying to make Rachel shine. And….hopefully…..that shine would catch Sav’s eye!

7

By 11:00am the next morning, Rachel and Bobbi were well into their little shopping excursion. However, whereas Bobbi held several bags in little less than a half hours time, Rachel was still empty handed. Bobbi knew she was a novice at this, and knew that she was just looking for the right thing.

"C’mon, lets go in this store," Bobbi said with a nod of her head. "I have a feeling you’ll find something in here you’ll love. I see you looking a little leery at some of the outrageous stores we’ve been in. This may be right up your alley."

Rachel went in and began to casually look around. One of the things that she always wanted was the safe ‘little black dress’. She never bought it because, well, she never had anywhere to wear it. Maybe if she found something she liked, she could wear it out to the pub tonight.

She rifled through the dress rack, thinking that this day was turning out to be a lost cause, before her eyes fell upon her dream dress on a mannequin at the head of the display. She walked over to it and touched the fabric. It had just a bit of lycra in it to give it some shape, but the feel was soft. It had a square neck, sleeveless and just above knee length. As much as it caught her eye, she knew she’d feel practically naked wearing it.

Bobbi found her and saw what she was looking at and immediately gave her brash approval.

"Get it! Oh my God, Rachel, you have to get it! That is the perfect little black dress. Simple, yet sexy."

Rachel rolled her eyes at Bobbi. "Bobbi, c’mon on. Do I look like the ‘sexy’ type?"

"Well, to be honest, not in that t-shirt, vest and chino shorts your don’t. But…in this, I think a nun would look sexy!"

Rachel burst out laughing at Bobbi’s humorous honesty. "I..I don’t know. I mean, I love it…..I really do. I just never wore anything this revealing before."

"Rachel, its summer. Your arms and legs are practically bare now. They’ll just be a little more in this dress. Don’t worry, we’ll get some sheer black hose and a pair of strappy sling backs. Wear it tonight and you’re bound to turn some heads."

"Yeah, but what about the rest of me? How do I wear my hair?’

"Listen, trust me. Just try on the dress, lets get you some shoes and we’ll spend the rest of the day taking care of hair and make up. Um…do you need your glasses to see?"

"Only far away. I’m pretty good without them up close."

"Have you ever though of getting contacts? Maybe those color enhanced ones? I have several pairs of non-script ones and I love them."

"Well, I’m not too crazy about putting anything in my eyes. The glasses are so much easier, although they’re hard to keep on when you’ve got a toddler latching onto them."

"Then maybe you should consider them. Well, anyway, that’s another time. Now, try this dress on. I’m dying to see it on you."

Rachel found her size while Bobbi saw a perfect pair of shoes to go with it. She got Rachel’s size from her and had the sales person fetch them. She then tossed the shoes into the dressing room so Rachel could try them on with the dress.

"Are you done?"

"Yeah…I’m done," Rachel said.

"Well….c’mon out so I can see."

The door to the dressing room slowly opened and Rachel emerged. Bobbi let a grin spread slowly across her face.

"Rachel – that looks awesome on you! Absolutely awesome! If you don’t buy that you’re mad!"

Rachel turned in the 3-way mirror and studed her appearance. Fortunately, she was slim with gentle curves so the dress fitted her well. She wasn’t so used to high heels, but couldn’t believe how they made her legs appear longer and more shapely. For the first time in a long time, she was empowered by the sight of her appearance. She remembered that picture of Kelly and the first time she saw Bobbi and instantly felt a bit glamorous herself.

"I think," Bobbi said, "that we have a winner. "C’mon, its still early. Lets see what else we can find before we grab a bit of lunch."

"Bobbi?"

‘Yeah?"

"Do…do you know of a salon around here that may take a walk-in?"

Bobbi’s mouth twisted with delight. "Mmm-hmmm. Why?"

Rachel grabbed two fistfuls of her long hair. "I…I don’t know. What do you think I’d look like with highlights?"

"Smashing! Positively smashing. Maybe a little cut to give it some style and fullness. Well, if that’s what you want, then lets get there now before the rush."

Her mind made up, Rachel changed, purchased the dress and shoes then headed out and down the street to a posh salon for a hair cut and highlight.

Later on, completely exhausted from their day, Rachel and Bobbi headed back to Joe’s house. Rachel wondered if Sav was here, then realized that he was home with Ryan today, since it was her day off.

"What are we gonna do now?"

"Well, Joe’s out. Since he knows you and I are going out tonight, I imagine he’ll be at Rick’s tonight to get some take out. So, we’ve got the entire place to ourselves."

Rachel scanned the size of Joe’s house – which was larger than Sav’s. Bobbi pulled her inside, gave her a quick tour, before heading up to her vanity in her and Joe’s master bath.

"Okay, sit," Bobbi commanded. "I’m gonna work my cosmetology wonders on you."

Rachel sat in the chair and looked about the Italian tiled and mirrored bath. Everywhere she looked, she couldn’t help but admire the gorgeous haircut and highlight the salon gave her. Already, she didn’t look like herself. She only wondered how much more she’d change after Bobbi got finished making her up.

"Bobbi, please go easy on the makeup. I’m not comfortable wearing a lot."

"Well, fortunately for you, you don’t need a lot. You’ve got great skin – its your best feature. Just a little base applied with a wet sponge to give even everthing out. Now, with those golden highlights and your chestnut base color, I think brownish-pinks would work best with you."

After sponging a bit of foundation on Rachel’s skin, Bobbi swept a honey pink blush on the hollows of her cheeks, then topped off the tops of her cheekbones, bridge of her nose and brow of her eye with a irridescent seashell pink to highlight her face. She then took a deep forest green pencil and lined her eyes to bring out the green more. She then shaped her brows, applied a little mascara only to the outer corners, brushed a rose blush lip color on her lips then lined them with a natural colored pencil to even them out and make them fuller.

Bobbi then grabbed a bottle of hairspray and freshened up Rachel’s new style before telling her to look in the mirror.

"Well, what do you think?"

Rachel studied her appearance. She didn’t know she could look like this. It wasn’t too drastic of a change – the highlights were subtle and so was the makeup, but it made her features, ones she didn’t think she had, more prominent. Her eyes appeared more green than brown, her cheekbones looked as if they could cut glass and her lips were full.

For the first time, she felt as beautiful as the woman next to her.

"Bobbi…..wow! I……..wow! I….I can’t believe this is me!"

"Believe it! Its you. And….you look fantastic. Now, as not to get my creation messed up, or your hair, if you want, you can take a soak in the tub before we get dressed and head out to dinner."

Rachel did just what Bobbi offered. Afterwards, Bobbi took a shower and dressed in a red leather mini, a matching leather sleeveless top that zipped up the front and high heeled, open toed shoes, exposing matching red toe polish.

Both were dressed to kill, but couldn’t be more opposite in nature.

The rock star’s nanny and the rock star’s girlfriend headed out for the evening.

8

Around 11:30 that evening, Bobbi dropped Rachel off at the gate entrance of Sav’s house. She used her code to get in, then walked up the drive and entered her room through her private entrance.

The first thing she did was kick those high heeled pumps off her sore feet, then sat on the bed and rubbed them.

As she did, she reflected on the day and night that just preceded. She never remembered having so much fun before. She and Bobbi met up with two of Bobbi’s friends at Lanigan’s in the the centre for dinner, then enjoyed listening to the house band.

What surprised Rachel the most was the number of stares she was receiving. At first, she thought they had to be directed towards Bobbi and her friends, who were all similiarly dressed in the chic, current fashion. But, when several men came to their table to chat, one of them specifically hit on her. Then, while the band was playing a slow song, another man asked her to dance, which she respectfully reclined. Then, yet another man, who chatted with her for the remainder of the evening, wound up asking her out. Again, she declined, only because this attention was so new to her and she didn’t quite know how to handle it.

Rachel now wondered why she didn’t at least accept the date. He seemed nice enough and they talked enough to get a heads up on each other. She didn’t know why she declined.

Oh, yeah….and Sav wasn’t the reason.

Or was it?

Rachel shook it from her mind and just chalked it up to nerves. However, the thought of him made her wonder if he were up or not. She knew that Ryan had to be asleep and decided to go and take a peek in on him before coming back, changing and getting ready for bed.

She quietly opened her bedroom door that led to the hall and went to the Ryan’s room next door. He was peacefully asleep on his back, his head turned to one side with his right hand, curled up in a fist, up by his face. He looked like an adorable, cherubic version of his father.

Rachel blinked, again wondering where that comparison came from. Well, Sav was Ryan’s father, so of course he’d resemble him.

She reached in the crib and stroked his soft brown hair before leaving. She opened the door, stepped back into the hallway and turned – only to come almost face to face with Sav.

"Oh my God Mr. S….I….I….Rick. You startled me."

Sav did more than startle her. He caused the air to leave her lungs as he stood there, wearing nothing but a pair of blue and gray checked pajama bottoms. Even in the darkness of the hallway, she made out his incredible blue eyes and a twinkling of a silver cross that laid upon his chest. His bare naked chest that led to a bare naked taut midsection.

"Rachel, I…I…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to frighten you. I heard a couple of doors closing and wondered if it was you coming home. I……."

Sav cut off when his poor eyesight, sans his glasses, finally made her out in the dimly lit hall. He saw the short, black dress, the smooth skin of her arms, her legs in sheer black hose her…her….her hair.

"Is…is something wrong?" Rachel asked as he cut off his sentence.

"Uh…uh…n.n..no, its just….I never saw you dressed up before. I um….did…did you do something to your hair?"

Rachel put a hand to her head, disbelieving that he noticed the changes in her appearance, but suddenly feeling a bit giddy about it.

"Oh, uh yes. I did. While in the centre, I stopped in a salon and got a cut and had them put a few highlights in. N..n..no big deal."

Rachel stood there nervously as she watched Sav’s eyes peruse her, even as she kept her own eyes from running all over his gloriously naked upper half.

"No, its just……it..it looks nice," Sav stammered like a nervous teenager.

Rachel flushed in the dark. It was the first compliment he paid upon her person, and not her nanny skills, in the three month’s she’s been with him.

"Oh..th..thank you….Rick. I…I hope I didn’t wake you. Nor do I hope you’re not mad at me coming in at this hour."

"No, of course not Rachel. 11:30 isn’t too late."

"Well, I just don’t want you to think that I won’t be able to be up in time tomorrow morning with Ryan."

"I didn’t think that at all. Um…th…that’s a uh……lovely dress. Did you buy that this afternoon while out with Bobbi?"

Again, Rachel was taken aback by a personal compliment. "Yes, I did. And…..thank you."

Rachel didn’t know what made her more nervous – the fact that Sav was noticing her in a different way, or watching his naked chest rise and fall as he breathed and the play of the muscles below his ribs.

"It looks smashing," Sav said. "No……you look smashing. I…..I…..um..I was just going to check on Ryan."

"Oh, well, that’s what I was doing too. Habit, you know. Well, I’m sure he’ll have me up early tomorrow. I guess I’ll go and get ready for bed. G..gooodnight……Rick."

"Goodnight Rachel."

Rachel walked away as Sav opened Ryans bedroom door. He stood there a moment and watched Rachel walk next door to her room, the sway of her hips through the snug, black dress very apparent, even in the lack of proper lighting.

As soon as she entered her room and closed the door, Sav gulped and realized his breathing was a little ragged. He also noticed something very hard straining against the thin fabric of his pajama bottoms.

Sav rolled his eyes upward, hoping to God that Rachel didn’t notice that. "Oh Lord….what’s going on here," he asked himself. "Crikey, I’m standing here in the dark with a boner staring after my son’s nanny! What am I doing?"

He was becoming attracted to her, that’s what!

9

The next day, late morning, Sav entered Joe’s house.

"Aye mate," Joe said.

"Where’s your girlfriend?"

Joe looked at Sav a little startled. "Why? What’s wrong?"

"Oh, nothing’s really wrong, just….I don’t know."

"Sav, what is it…….?"

"Hi Rick."

Sav turned around to see Bobbi enter the kitchen. Sav folded his arms and regarded her a little warily. "What did you do to my nanny?"

"Oh Lord," Joe gulped. "What happened last night?"

Bobbi put a hand to her chest and feigned ignorance. "Why Rick….whatever do you mean?"

"I mean……she left my house yesterday morning looking like Miss Marple and came home 11:30 last night looking like Miss Universe, that’s what I mean!"

Joe perked up in his chair. "What? What’s this? The prim and proper little nanny has a sexy side?"

"It sure seems that way, mate," Sav replied. "However, it seems that side wasn’t revealed until she found herself shopping with this one."

Bobbi saw that Sav wasn’t mad, just playing a game – one that she went along with. "First of all, Rick. I didn’t do anything, well…except bring her features out. She bought the dress and decided to get her hair highlighted. Didn’t she look awesome?"

"Yes. I..I..I mean, no. I mean…..oh, hell, I don’t know what I mean."

"I do," Joe interjected. "It means you found her attractive, that’s what it means."

Sav gave Joe a dirty look before turning back to Bobbi. "Just when did this transformation take place?"

"Oh, yesterday after we got back from shopping. Since Joe was over your house, we got ready here. I did her make up, she took a bath, got dressed in her little black number and we went out."

Joe perked up a bit. "She was naked in my bathtub? Little black number? Crikey, and I missed all this?"

Bobbi gave Joe an annoyed look before turning back to Sav, who looked a little bewildered. "Whats the matter Rick? You’re acting as though this is a problem."

"It is…..I mean…it isn’t. I mean, oh, crikey…."

"Still don’t know what the hell you mean, eh?" Joe finished for him.

"Stuff it!"

"Sav, Bobbi’s right. Whats the problem?"

Sav’s mouth acted independently of his brain. "The problem is, is that, three months ago, I hired a conservative looking, competent, caring, loving nanny to take care of my son and now, three months and one fatal shopping trip later, I now have a very hot looking nanny living under my roof, taking care of my son!"

Joe mocked audacity. "Oh my goodness! I see your point. Better dispatch the military on this one!’

"Bite me!"

"Rick, honestly," Bobbi interjected. "Does how she look gonna affect how she takes care of Ryan? I mean….that is what you hired her for. It didn’t matter three months ago. "

"Yes luv, but Sav wasn’t having impure thoughts about her three months ago," Joe jested with a giggle.

"Suck it!"

"Oooh, Sav…the language! Stuff it. Bite me. Suck it. I think this is your inner psyche telling you that maybe its time for a good shag."

Sav threw his hands up. "Oh God, I don’t believe you!"

"Whats not to believe? Three months is a long time, and don’t forget we were in New York before that, so it may be longer since the last time you and……"

Sav put his hand up to halt Joe’s words. "Please……don’t say her name."

Joe clamped his mouth shut. "Sorry mate."

"Its okay. Its just….I don’t know. I guess I thought I’d be safe by hiring someone that I wouldn’t risk being instantly attracted to. However, even before I saw Rachel last night, I really was beginning to like her – aside from her looks. We really both have a lot in common. Our families both live far away, we don’t have much of a personal life, we have Ryan’s care in mind…."

"You’re both far sighted," Bobbi added.

Joe slapped the table. "That’s it! A match made in heaven!"

"Stop it! Its just…well, we both kinda looked to each other for companionship, I guess. I just don’t want to jeopardize her position as Ryan’s nanny. She’s wonderful with him and he’s bonkers for her. I just don’t want to risk any kind of attraction of any kind, only to scare her away. After the fiasco Bess and I had interviewing those horrid potential nannies, I’d hate to have to go and find someone all over again."

"Sav, I don’t think that would be a problem Especially, well….if she wound up feeling the same way you did."

"God, Joe! How am I to know how she feels?"

Bobbi raised her hand. "I think I know."

Sav looked at Bobbi. "W…w..what do you know? Did she say something to you?"

"No, she didn’t. But, the fact that she had her own little personal harem of men hovering around her last night, and did nothing about it, was enough to convince me that her thoughts might be…uh…elsewhere. She turned down dances and dates."

"She did?"

"Yep. I told her she was mad. Two of the guys were absolutely…….."

Bobbi cut off when she saw Joe looking at her with narrowed eyes.

"……they were okay looking. Anyway, she just said she wasn’t used that that much attention so soon and wanted to go a little slower. But, I know otherwise."

"Hmmm, sounds like she may be sweet on you, Sav," Joe said. All the innocent, platonic chat you’ve been making these last three months maybe got her thinking down a different road, thus the reason for the change in her appearance. Just continue on with her as you have."

"Its not just that, Joe. I mean, as much as I do like her, I thought of it on a more platonic level. After what Kelly did to Ryan and I, the last thing I wanted to think about was getting involved with someone again – especially so soon. And, I don’t want her to think that my attraction to her is because I was dumped and I’m lonley. I can’t lose her, Joe. For Ryan’s sake – I just can’t lose her!"

Joe and Bobbi exchanged glances, wondering if it were just for Ryan’s sake that Sav didn’t want to lose Rachel.

10

Rachel decided to put Ryan down for his afternoon nap in the playpen instead of his crib. She curled herself up in a ball on the couch and pulled out her book to read for a bit, but couldn’t concentrate.

The memory of a half naked Sav was the reason.

She put the book down and rubbed her eyes, not knowing where these thoughts were suddenly coming from. Well, after all he was a man – an attractive man, and she was a woman who, well……found him attractive! Nothing wrong with that. Perfectly normal.

Except that she was his son’s nanny and he was her employer. She shouldn’t be having thoughts like this. Well, if he didn’t look so damn sexy last night she wouldn’t be!

However, he looked just as much to blame last night. Rachel saw the way he noticed her, dressed as she was. It gave her a tingle all over, not to mention a very restless nights sleep with the thoughts she was having. She knew that she looked more attractive than she did, but she didn’t think it would be enough to warrant such a response from a famous rock star.

She had to force herself not to think anything of it. He just wasn’t used to seeing her dressed like that and was just being polite with a compliment. That’s all. She couldn’t think this way and jeopardize her job. Maybe she should’ve accepted that date from ‘whats his name’ she met last night?

She felt a little awkward around Sav this morning while she was tending to Ryan, especially after what happened the night before. She had also just finished giving Ryan his bath, so she was dressed in an old t-shirt and shorts which had been soaked with water and baby wash, and she had her newly highlighted hair caught up in a messy ponytail. He probably took one look at her this morning and thought that Cinderella had turned back into a pumpkin.

After Sav left for Joe’s, she played with Ryan a bit before it was time for his nap. After she put him down, she went to her room to change. She found her seldom worn pair of jeans and decided to put them on. She always preferred cotton to denim, which was much easier to move and maneuver in, especially lugging children around.

However, last night was the beginning of a change and she’d try to continue it. She then rummaged through her stuffy looking tops and found a simple, short sleeved black knit shirt that had a deeper cut neck. She pulled her hair out of the ponytail and fluffed it before spraying it into place with the spray she purchased at the salon, coughing as she accidentally inhaled the foreign substance.

She then pulled out the green liner that Bobbi loaned her and lightly rimmed her eyes, marvelling at how much more greener than brown they appeared. She brushed on the pink blush and dabbed some lip shine on. She was just getting used to makeup and didn’t want to overdo it, however, she liked how certain features jumped out.

She then planted herself on the couch with her book, which was now discarded. She looked at Ryan sleeping peacefully in the playpen and took a cue and closed her eyes as well.

*****************************************

Sav arrived home around 2:00 through his garage entrance. The house was unbelievably quiet, especially with an almost 11 month old around. He saw Rachel’s car parked out front, so he knew she didn’t take him out and the overcast sky indicated that she wouldn’t have taken him for a stroll. Maybe she was putting him down for a nap.

He walked in the house and, thinking Rachel was upstairs with Ryan, walked into the living room. He stopped short when he saw Rachel peacefully asleep on the couch with Ryan in pretty much the same state in the playpen.

Sav smiled to himself and went over to gently shake her awake, if only not to scare her.

"Rachel," he whispered. "Rachel."

Rachel’s eyes flew open and immediately met his. She wondered if she were still asleep because she was dreaming about him. She then took in her position and jumped up.

"Oh my goodness! I…I didn’t mean to fall asleep like that."

Sav grinned over her reaction. "That’s okay. You’re probably just a little tired from last night."

Rachel looked guilty. "I’m so sorry, Mr……..Rick. I assured you that my night out last night would’nt have affected my job. I thought…well, since Ryan was asleep and I couldn’t read that…."

She was cut off when Sav placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. She thought she’d melt back down to the couch.

"Rachel, its okay. You didn’t do anything wrong. Anyway, Ryan’s right here next to you, and still sleeping."

Rachel casually glanced at his hand that still remained on her shoulder, before glancing down. "Still, I shouldn’t have done that. A good nanny is supposed to be alert."

"Rachel, don’t be so hard on yourself. Its okay. Really."

Sav said that last word in a whisper that caused a chill up Rachel’s spine. She slowly looked up at his face and saw a change in it as he took in hers.

"Is…is something wrong?"

Sav got his bearings after he realized he was staring at her. Now that it was daytime, he was able to make out her hair and features that he just never noticed before.

"Oh…oh, nothing," he stammered. "Its just….I was um…admiring your hair. I only saw it in the dark last night. It looks much lovlier in the light. The uh….salon did a nice job."

Rachel blushed a bit. "Oh, thank you. Um……since this little bugger’s still asleep, would you like me to make you some tea?"

"Only if you make one for yourself as well," Sav replied.

Rachel smiled and nodded before heading to the kitchen. Sav discreetly turned around to gaze at her bottom which was much more visable in a pair of well fitted jeans.

He quickly turned back and knelt down in front of the playpen. He rested his arms on the rim and stared at his sleeping son while he whispered his thoughts to him.

Sav then pictured what Ryan would say to that, if he were older.

Sav closed his eyes and rested his head on the rim of the playpen. "I don’t know, little mate. I don’t know."

"Rick?"

Sav looked up to see Rachel slowly walking towards him with two steaming cups of tea.

"Here," she said, handing one to him. "Careful – its hot."

"Thank you," he replied with a raw voice.

Rachel looked at his face and saw that his eyes glistened with what she thought were tears.

"Are you okay?"

Sav looked down to hide the evidence of his emotion. "Oh……yeah. I’m fine. Just staring at Ryan and thinking about all that happened and…….what I’ll have to tell him someday about his mum."

"I know," Rachel replied. "When I’m with him, whether I’m feeding him, changing him or just playing with him, I wonder the same thing - how any mother could just do that. I wonder if she thinks about him, wherever she is. If she made a mistake. If its torturing her. If……"

Rachel cut her words off when she saw Sav slowly sit on the couch, prop his elbows on his knees, cover his face with his hands and softly cry. She then covered her own mouth, cursing her rambling on about something that she had no right to talk about.

"Rick….oh God, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I had no right to say any of those things. Its…its none of my business."

Without a second thought, she carefully sat next to him and, this time, she placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Please…I….I didn’t mean to upset you……."

Rachel lost all train of thought when Sav turned to her and put his arms around her and held her fiercely. The suddeness of his action took her by surprise, but it was nothing compared to the sudden heat of his body and scent of his hair.

"No…no, Rachel you didn’t upset me," Sav said in between catching his breath. "Everything you said, I’ve wondered the same thing. I could care less what she did to me – its Ryan I care about and care about only. What am I gonna do? I’m so scared being a single father? A child needs the love of a mother."

Rachel’s heart began to beat rapidly over his anguish, not to mention his body practically wrapped around hers. She cautiously placed her arms around him, if only to comfort.

"Rick, its gonna be alright. Someday……someday someone will come into your life that’ll want to be a part of it – and Ryan’s. Until then, I’m here to help you. Don’t worry – everything will be fine. You give him both a mother and a father’s love."

Sav lifted his head and sat back, looking at her. He shook his head. "No Rachel. No matter how hard I try, nothing can replace the love that only a woman can give a child. But…..you’ve given him that. I’m glad to know that he’s getting that love, if not from his mum."

Rachel was choking back tears of her own. She did indeed love that little boy asleep in the playpen. Too much. She was fearing that someday, when she wouldn’t be needed anymore, it would be hard to have to say goodbye. However, she wouldn’t dwell on that fact now. Right now, she wanted to comfort the matter at hand.

"That’s what I’m here for, Rick. That’s one of the qualities a nanny should possess – a love for children and to build upon the natural love they get from their parents."

Sav looked at her and took her hand. "I’ve watched you with him Rachel. I’ve seen how you interact with him. You love him as if…..as if you were his mum."

Rachel glanced down, not knowing how to answer that, for it was indeed true. "I…I guess I just feel bad for what happened and want to make up for what he’s missing. Please…..Rick, if…if I’m out of line by doing that……"

"No! No, you’re not," Sav adamantly said. "Its…its what he needs. And right now, what my son needs is the main priority."

"I agree."

Rachel glanced down at Sav’s hand that was absentmindedly caressing hers. Sav saw where she was looking and took his hand away. Their awkward moment was suddenly saved by Ryan waking up.

Sav got up and picked his waking son out of the crib. "Well, good afternoon there, little mate," he said, kissing his soft head.

Ryan clumsily rubbed his eyes as his surroundings came into focus. Still groggy, he laid his head on his father’s shoulder. Rachel went over to him and caressed his cheek.

"Who’s got you there, Ryan? Hmmm?"

Sav then heard Rachel whisper something in Ryan’s ear, to which he heard Ryan softly say ‘da-da’.

Sav turned startled eyes to his son, then to Rachel. "Did…did he just say ‘da-da’?"

Rachel nodded with a smile. "Yep. I’ve been teaching him to say it. He’s almost ready to walk soon. Any day now, I imagine. Um, do you want me to take him and see if he needs changing?"

"No, that’s okay. I just want to hold him for a while."

Rachel nodded then left Sav to give him privacy with his son. As she left, Ryan lifted his head from Sav’s shoulder and looked in her direction.

"What, little mate? Who was that? Who just left?"

Ryan put his lips together as if he was trying to form a sound. When he did, the one that came out almost caused Sav’s knees to collapse.

"Mum-ma."

11

Rachel turned right back around towards the living room after leaving her book in there. Careful not to disturb the father/son moment with Sav and Ryan, she tip-toed in while Sav was standing over by the far window with Ryan, looking out. However, Ryan heard her and looked up.

"Mum-ma."

Rachel looked at him and froze. She then looked to Sav who had a perplexed look on his face.

"I..I..oh dear," Rachel said worriedly. "I most definitely did not teach him that."

Sav acknowledged her admission. "Don’t worry, I’m not assuming you did."

"Hmm, I wonder if he picked it up from the other children at the nearby park that I take him sometimes. There’s a few children, slightly older than him, there with their mum’s and, well, maybe he saw these children calling these women ‘mum-ma’ and……well…."

‘…..assumed that since you’re the only woman in his life right now that you’re his mum," Sav finished for her.

Rachel looked a little uneasy. "I…well….I guess. Possibly. Who would’ve thought that he would’ve picked something like that up. I know he’s almost a year old, but still. I’ll be sure to correct it if I hear it again."

"Not a problem."

Rachel turned to walk out before remembering something. "Um…Rick?"

"Yes?"

"I was thinking, well….Ryan’s gonna be a year old next month. Perhaps you’d like to think about what you want to do in terms of a party."

Sav sighed deeply. "I know. I just thought of that yesterday. I definitely want to do something for him. I’d like to fly my mum and brothers in. Hopefully the rest of the band from California can come in with their children. Nothing big, just immediate friends and family."

"Well, if you need help with planning, please let me know."

"You can be sure I’m gonna call on you, Rachel," Sav said with a chuckle. "I think women are natural born organizers!"

Rachel snickered a bit. "You don’t know my sister, then! She’d lose her head if it weren’t attached to her shoulders. Her husband is always finding things of hers scattered all over the house."

"Does she live nearby?"

"No, she lives in Waterford as well. We talk once a week and catch up."

"I understand," Sav solemnly said. "Its tough having your family far away. Which is why I’m looking forward to being able to see them next month for Ryan’s party. I tell you what….how about after he goes to sleep tonight, we sit down and plan something out?"

Rachel’s heart swelled a bit over the opportunity to spend a quiet evening in his company, even if it was to plan his son’s party.

"I’d love to Rick.’

"Great. Maybe we can get him down early, order some takeout or something and put our heads together."

"I look forward to it," Rachel said with hope. "Well, I’ll leave the two of you alone. I just wanted to get my book. I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me."

Rachel walked out as Sav stared after her.

"Yes, Rachel…I do need you. More than ever, do I need you!"

********************************

Later that evening, amid cartons of Indian food, Sav and Rachel sat at the kitchen table and organized Ryan’s 1^st birthday party, start to finish. They’d have a few catered dishes and a nice cake from the pastry shop. Rachel offered to take care of the decorations and invitations.

"I’m sure its gonna be a splendid day," Rachel assured him.

"I’m sure," Sav agreed. "Having my family and the band here always puts me in a good mood."

"Rick…may I say something?"

"Of course, luv."

The way he called her ‘luv’ almost made her forget what the question was. "Well, something just came to me that I want to bring to your attention, just so you’re prepared. I don’t know why, but I have a feeling that, regardless of the decision Ryan’s mum made, there’s just no way she’s gonna forget her son’s birthday. She may try to contact you around that time."

Sav nodded his head in agreement. "You and I are on the same wave length. I’ve thought the same exact thing. I’m not sure how I’ll react if she does call or….show up. I know she’s his mother, but………dammit, she should’ve thought about that before she took off!"

"Rick, please…don’t get yourself any more upset than you already are. She did what she did and that will never change. The only thing that matters right now is that little boy. There’s a good chance she may not call, because of the response she may get from you. But…somehow….I have a feeling that, one way or another, she’s gonna find her way back into Ryan’s life. I just can’t imagine a mother totally turning her back on her child for good."

"What…..you think that maybe she went through some kind of phase and had to take off to see if it was what she really wanted?"

"Possibly," Rachel replied.

Sav shot up out of the chair, a move that startled Rachel. He stormed around the kitchen, running his hand through his hair.

"A phase? A phase? Ryan wasn’t just some hobby that she picked up to see if she liked, only to drop it once she realized she didn’t! He’s a baby! Her son! He grew inside of her for nine months! Part of me wants to confront her for what she did and part of me never wants to see her selfish face again!"

Rachel stood up. "Rick, please……I didn’t mean to upset you by bringing that up. I just thought that I’d mention it so you’d be prepared in case she just dropped back into your life. Please…..you’ve been upset enough by this. Lets just concentrate on Ryan’s party."

Sav realized what he just did and felt foolish. He was not one to give into his temper or let it get the best of him. He looked to Rachel apologetically.

"I’m….I’m sorry, luv. I didn’t mean to frighten you by my outburst."

"You didn’t. You have every right to feel the way you do."

Sav walked over and stopped right in front of her. "You’re very understanding, Rachel. I need that right now, with everything going on."

"Well, I am your……employee. My job is to make your life a little easier."

Sav realized their closeness, but couldn’t move away if his life depended on it. He also noticed that Rachel didn’t move either and the look on her face entranced him.

"No, Rachel. You’re more than just my employee. You’ve become so much more than that. You’re presence has made things a little easier around here, for me and for Ryan. And….I never really thanked you for it."

Rachel’s heart was beating wildly. Part of her was longing for him to kiss her, however, the sensible part of her told her that it would make her position there a little awkward.

"Rick, there’s no need to thank me. Although its my job, I also enjoy doing what I do. And….I do so enjoy taking care of Ryan and……working for you."

Sav smiled and raised his hand to caress her cheek when Ryan’s wail blared through the baby monitor.

Both adults snapped out of their trance of each other at the sound. Rachel immediately went to him before Sav stopped her. "No…let me. I’ll get him back to sleep."

"Oh….okay," Rachel said nervously. "Its getting late. I’ll just head to my room and start working on a list of decorations for the party."

She and Sav walked together upstairs until they reached Ryan’s room. Sav went in his son’s room as he heard Rachel close the door to hers, the sound blocking out the frustration in his heart and body.

12

Three days before Ryan’s birthday party, Sav came home to find that Rachel was out with Ryan. He saw a message on the answering machine and played it, only to find it was a hang up.

He checked the caller ID for the number and dialed it out of curiosity, only to find out it was the desk number to a Dublin hotel. He hung up instantly, as the only possible answer ripped through him. He stopped himself from calling back and confirming it. All he could do was wait for another call.

An hour later, the phone rang again. Sav checked the ID and it was the same number. He took a deep breath and answered the phone.

"ello?"

"Rick? Oh, God Rick….is that you?"

Sav’s insides tightened with disgust and anxiety. "Yes Kelly….its me. What do you want?"

"Rick, please…..don’t hang up on me. I…I need to see you. Its important. I know after what I did….."

"…..not what you did, Kelly….but how you did it!"

"I..I..I…know," Kelly stammered on the other end. "You have no idea what I’ve been going through since I left."

"Guess what Kelly," Sav said without remorse. "I can say the same thing to you. You just didn’t up and leave your boyfriend – you left your son! How you, or any mother for that matter, can do that is beyond comprehension. My only answer to that was that you have absolutely no heart or conscious."

Sav heard her crying on the other end. "Rick, please I know. Please, I..I need to see you. To talk to you. I didn’t know what I was doing. I was scared. I know it was heinous, what I did, but I was scared. I thought….at the time, I thought I made a big mistake. Now I realize the mistake I made was leaving you both. You have no idea how its been tearing me up inside. I’ve been wanting to call you since I left, but I didn’t think you’d want anything to do with me. But, as the months went by, I couldn’t take it anymore and risked rejection by flying here and contacting you. Please Rick…..we…we have to talk. I want my son back in my life. I…..I want you too. I…I still love you."

So many emotions coursed through Sav at the moment, that he didn’t know which one to act upon first. However, what he’d been going through the last several months, it was easy to know where his heart and head stood. And…he couldn’t risk screwing up either again, no matter how much she begged.

"Kelly, I’m…I’m sorry. I can’t take you back. No…wait…I don’t want to take you back. Who’s to say that you won’t do this again? What you did was absolutely unforgivable."

"But Rick…..don’t you still love me?"

"No Kelly. I do not. How could I? What you did only proved to me the true person you are inside. What an act you put on to make me think otherwise? I’m relieved that I didn’t press marriage with you else I would’ve had another shattered mess to deal with. Now I know why you always evaded the issue – you never planned on hanging around long enough. You wanted out since Ryan was born. It wasn’t what you thought. The rock and roll lifestyle that you got used to now was infused with the reality of a child and you just weren’t ready for that. Well, guess what? I was! I’ve wanted children since I got married the first time, but my illness and the problems with my wife prevented it right away. But I just don’t want children, Kelly. I want a woman I can love and trust and someone who’ll do the same in return. Someone who’ll be there to enjoy the good times and won’t bail as soon as it gets rough. That someone isn’t you!"

Sav felt like there was a mountain lifted off his shoulders after he said that. Everything that had been plaguing his heart and mind since Kelly left all came out. There was silence on the other end for a few moments before Kelly spoke.

"There’s someone else, isn’t there?"

It didn’t take Sav long to recognize the change in her tone from regretful desperation to sarcastic jealousy. It made him wonder if her tearful speech was an act as well to get back what she lost.

"As a matter of fact, Kelly….there is someone else. Someone I’m beginning to care very much about and someone who absolutely loves and cares about Ryan."

Kelly’s tone, again, took on a wicked tone. "You can’t do this to me, Rick. Ryan is my son. I have rights as a mother to see him."

"Should’ve thought about that before you took off on him, leaving me alone to raise him. I don’t trust you, Kelly, and I certainly wouldn’t trust you around him. What do you want me to do, allow you in his life, only for you to leave again? You made your choice, now live with it."

"Look Rick," she hissed. "You don’t want me, fine! Screw around with your new little playmate, I don’t care. But Ryan is biologically mine and, mark my words, I will see him again!"

"Good luck," Sav said before slamming the phone down.

Just as he did, he looked up to see Rachel walk in with Ryan. He then wondered how much she heard, especially the part about him ‘caring about someone else."

"Rick….are you alright? I came in the door and heard you slam the phone down."

Sav looked up from where he leaned against the counter. "Well, our prediction came true. That was Kelly. She wants back in my life and Ryan’s. Can you believe it?"

Rachel held Ryan tighter as her stomach fluttered. "Are…are you gonna talk to her about…."

"No…no talking! No nothing. I told her that I didn’t want her back nor did I want her anywhere near Ryan. She said she has a right as his mother, but, as far as I’m concerned, she gave up that right when she took off with nothing but a note left behind. And to think I was considering marrying her! It was all an act to have what she wanted, except Ryan put a little dent in her fantasy world. And now she thinks her crying for her son is gonna just make me hand him over to her. No way! No fucking way!"

Rachel cringed at his outburst and language as she held her hand over Ryan’s ears. Sav saw it and was immediately contrite.

"I’m….I’m sorry. I didn’t mean……Rachel, please….let me take him. I just want to be alone with him."

"Of course," she said as she watched Ryan lean into his father’s outstretched arms.

As they walked out of the kitchen, Rachel stared after them, thinking about what Sav just told her. Somehow she knew that Sav’s warning to Kelly was gonna fall on deaf ears.

A mother doesn’t give up her child that easily.

13

Ryan’s first birthday party arrived several days later on a beautiful, sunny, summer day. Although Sav was shaken up by Kelly’s phone call a few days earlier, his countenance was quickly lightened at the sight of his mum, brothers and bandmates.

While Ryan was safe in the hands of his grandmum, Rachel was in her room fighting with Bobbi over her outfit.

"I can’t!"

"You can!"

"Bobbi, I’m not wearing those shorts! They’re a little too short. These shorts will do just fine."

Bobbi frowned at the twill, pleated, cuffed shorts that just about grazed the top of Rachel’s knee.

"What?"

"Rachel, c’mon," Bobbi pleaded. "You said you wanted to make a change and, right now, its time to change out of those frumpy, preppy shorts."

"Bobbi!"

"Besides, you’ve got nice legs. Tanned too."

"Yeah, well when Ryan’s playing in the sandbox at the park, I’ve been able to get some sun. Usually the time of day I go there aren’t a lot of people there so I’ve rolled my shorts up a bit to get more sun on my legs. Nothing like looking like a milk bottle."

"Alright, well……hmm…how about these? You bought these when we were out, so you must’ve approved."

Rachel forgot about the khaki cargo shorts that she bought. "Well, I guess they’re safe enough. Remember, as long as I’m here I’m an employee. I don’t want anyone, his mum especially, thinking that her son hired someone too risque looking to take care of her grandson. I want to keep a conservative image."

"Okay, fine….then put these on. And that white tank. White and khaki go good together and your arms are nice and tanned too. As for shoes……"

"I’m wearing my Keds…..no questions!"

"Okay, okay, fine. But….no socks."

Rachel rolled her eyes at Bobbi playing personal stylist. She quickly threw on the cargo shorts, white tank and slipped into her white Keds. She was about to put her hair up in a ponytail when Bobbi halted her.

"No, no. You’re gonna hide that gorgeous highlight job. Here, I know its warm out so lets just put the sides of your hair up."

Rachel sat there as Bobbi fussed over her. When she was done, Rachel stood up and held her arms out. "Do I pass?"

"Oh please, if you really wanted me to do you up, you wouldn’t look fit enough around Rick’s mum! More of a racy night out."

"I think I’ll have to take a raincheck on that," Rachel said as they both left the room.

Rachel ventured outside to Sav’s meticulously landscaped backyard where a small gathering took place to celebrate Ryan’s birthday. She immediately sought out Sav’s mum who had Ryan lovingly cuddled in her arms.

"Mrs. Savage, do you want me to take him?"

"Oh, no lass," Sally Savage said. "I’d like to hold onto him for as much as I can. Pity I don’t get to see him that often, but hopefully that will change."

Rachel smiled somberly as she remembered a conversation Sav having with his mum on the phone one night. Seems his neighbor has him locked in some sort of legal battle claiming that there’s a run off of water from Sav’s property that running onto his. Sav was contemplating selling his house here and possibly moving back to Sheffield and have his mum live with him, since she was now a widow. Having his mum would definitely help him out with Ryan.

The thought of him and Ryan leaving someday tugged at her heart, however, she chose not to dwell on it now. Today was a day for happiness and celebration.

Rachel scanned the yard to see Sav with the rest of his bandmates talking and laughing together. She had met Rick Allen, Viv Campbell and Phil Collen, their significant others and children when they arrived. The guys exuded humor and cheer while their ladies were pleasant and personable.

Since Viv’s daughter Lily was too small, she didn’t make the plane trip over with her parents. Phil’s son Rory was ten and, therefore, big enough to watch over himself. Rachel immediately offered her services to Rick Allen to watch 3 ½ year old Lauren Shane since Ryan was busy being loved by his grandmum and uncles.

Rachel kept her place at the party, which was that of the nanny and took a chair at a table under the huge tent that was perched. As she did, Lauren Shane came waddling over on chubby little legs.

"Do you want to sit on my lap?"

Little Lauren nodded her head as Rachel hoisted her up to sit on the edge of her knees. Just then, Rick Allen’s girlfriend Lauren came over.

"I’ll take her if she’s a bother," Lauren said.

"Oh, no…she’s no bother. I told Rick that I’d watch her so you guys can enjoy."

"Thanks Rachel. That’s real kind of you," Lauren said before heading back.

Rachel stood up and walked with Lauren Shane across the yard. Little did she know, Sav’s eyes followed her, his gaze not being able to leave her long, tanned legs and arms.

Just then, an arm around his shoulders snapped him from his thoughts. "So….bonking the help yet Sav?"

Sav turned and looked into Phil’s twinkling blue eyes before removing his arm from his shoulders.

"No, Phil…I’m not. Don’t talk about her like that."

"I gotta say mate that if I hired someone that hot to take care of Lauren Shane, I think Lauren would yank my other arm out," Rick said.

"Yeah well, trust me…she didn’t look like that when I hired her."

Viv looked in Rachel’s direction, then back to Sav. "What did she do? Pull a ‘My Fair Lady’ on you?"

"You could say that," Sav replied. "However, she had a little help from Professor Bobbi Higgins."

"Uh oh," Viv said. "Hey Joe, did Bobbi’s wild fashion sense rub off on the prim nanny?"

"Well, I didn’t think she’d do that much harm taking her out shopping," Joe said, defending his girlfriend.

"Mate, your girlfriend in a store…with your credit card…is dangerous at any point," Rick said.

"Stuff it!"

"Hmmm, I wonder if Bobbi’s influence was the reason for the change…..and not because she has eyes for her employer," Phil mused.

"More like the employer has eyes for her," Joe corrected.

"Joe!"

"Oh cut the façade Sav," Viv said. "Anyone with eyes can see the way you’ve been staring at her. Damn, she does have nice legs!"

"Viv! That’s my son’s nanny you’re talking about."

"Oh, whats this?" Phil joked. "Championing her virtue, Sav?"

"I’m surprised he hasn’t stolen it yet," Joe chuckled. "Losing your touch, mate."

"Stop it! All of you! Just stop it! For your information, and I don’t want to hear another word about it, yes, I do like Rachel and I care about her. However, our relationship revolves around Ryan. Th…that’s it!"

"Ah, what was that?" Joe said looking around in the air. "Was that a…’stutter’? You know what it means when you stutter, Sav. Plus, you already told me the morning after she and Bobbi went out that you were beginning to feel something for her."

"Platonic, Joe. I said those feelings were platonic."

"And just how long do you think those ‘platonic’ feelings will last with her under your roof 24/7, knowing she’s got legs like that under those cotton Docker pants? Sooner or later, something’s gonna happen that’s gonna make you want to take it to the next level."

"Like I told you, Joe. As much as I do like her and, well, would like to be with her in a more personal way, I’m just kinda gun shy right now. I was just beginning to get over what Kelly did and then, three days ago, she calls out of the blue saying she wants Ryan and I back."

"Either the woman’s insane or she’s got balls the size of Texas," Phil said.

"Sav, you did the right thing in kissing her, and her request to be a part of Ryan’s life, off," Viv added.

"Viv’s right," Rick said. "I mean, how can a mother do that? Man, Staci and I are divorced, but she’s still Lauren Shane’s mum. And, she’s a good mum. I’d never hold that against her."

"Same with Jacki," Phil added. "Rory’s her son and she’s there for him and takes care of him when he’s not with Anita and I. What Kelly did just wasn’t normal. Maybe she’s going through something, I don’t know….psychological."

"I don’t know Phil," Sav said. "All I know is that I can’t trust her after what she did. And nothing is gonna change my mind about giving into her demands."

All of a sudden, Rachel came from the house and approached the group of men.

"Not a word," Sav warned them before turning to Rachel. "Something wrong?"

"Someone’s here. The front gate buzzed when I was inside and I answered it."

"Probably the pastry shop delivering the cake," Sav said.

"Um, no…it isn’t. Its….."

Sav took a deep breath. "Who?"

"The magistrate. He needs to personally deliver something to you."

Sav ran his hand through his hair and frustration, having a feeling what this may be. "I’ll be right back," he said, before heading down to the front gate.

Once there, he saw a gentleman in his mid 50’s waiting inside a car parked just outside. Sav punched the code to open the gate and went out to meet him. When the man saw him, he got out of his vehicle and approached him.

"Richard Savage?"

"Yes?"

"This is for you," the man said as he handed him an envelope before getting back into his car.

Sav looked down and saw that it was from an attorney. He opened it up with shaky fingers and read it. It confirmed what he feared might happen.

Kelly was taking him to court for full custody of Ryan.

14

A few days later, Sav sat in the office of his attorney, Stan Richmond, as they went over the details of the custody suit. Since Kelly filed with an attorney in Dublin, the hearing would take place here instead of the States, which worked a bit in Sav’s favor. However, regardless of the fact that Kelly showed blatant irresponsiblity the way she upped and left, the court system rarely denied a mother’s right to her child.

"Stan, tell me straight out….what are her chances of getting ‘full’ custody?"

Stan thought a bit before answering. "Well, I don’t see her getting ‘full’ custody, considering what she did. That’s one strike against her and the judge will look at her past actions. However, it may go to joint custody, whereas she’ll have the right to see Ryan. How often will be based on what the two of you decide."

Sav just shook his head. "Stan, if she didn’t pull what she did I’d have no problem with that. To be honest, I don’t think she has any right to him, seeing how she gave it up. Dammit, I have the note to prove it!"

"And that note will be used as evidence in the hearing," Stan reassured him. "But remember, Rick. Her attorney will also use your occupation to work in her favor. Taking a child on tour all over the world, or leaving him back home in the care of a nanny may press the judge to award joint custody to Kelly for those times."

"Stan, we just got off the road 5 months ago! We won’t start working on the next album for a few more months and, even so, its practically all gonna be done at Joe’s house. Its not like we’re gonna take off to Spain or Holland like we did in the past. And as far as touring, that won’t be for another 2 ½ years tops. Ryan will be almost 4 by then…."

"….and that’s still considered young. What’s gonna happen when its time for him to go to school and you’re on the road? Leave him at home with the nanny while you play concerts all over the world?"

"Stan, its my job!"

"I know that, Rick, but it’s a job that involves possible risks to a child. You’ll be traveling by plane a lot, living in hotels, surrounded by all types of people. Its not the proper atmosphere for a child."

"Stan, its not like it used to be in the 80’s when things were, well, much wilder. We’re all settled down now with children. Hell, Phil was bringing Rory on tour with him when he was younger."

"Yes, but wasn’t Phil married at the time? When Rory was on the road, I believe Phil’s wife was with him. And, when Rory couldn’t be on the road, I believe his wife stayed behind. Am I correct?"

"Yes, that’s right. So…what are you saying, Stan? That my chances would be better if I were married?"

"Well, it would look more favorable. Since Kelly is from the States, naturally she’d want to have Ryan live with her there, therefore, you’d have to make the travel efforts when you want to see him. But, since Ryan was born in Dublin, spent the first year of his life here and would want him to attend school here, naturally you’d want the judge to rule that he make this his home base, making Kelly be the one to travel to see him. Perhaps, if you were married and gave more of an appearance of a stable life with your wife caring for Ryan instead of tossing him around between sitters and nannies, it may help in retaining the majority of the custody of Ryan in Dublin. I’m assuming that Kelly is still single. I don’t know of her living arrangements back in the States, but I will investiagate them. Should they not appear as stable, then there’s a good chance that Ryan’s home base would be Dublin."

"If I were married," Sav reminded him.

"Rick, what are you gonna do? Find somene to marry just for this?"

"Why not? Illegal aliens do it all the time to get their green cards in the States, right?"

"Yes, but those are done with explicit arrangements and are annulled quickly afterwards. Even if you do win your portion of the battle in court, if you find someone who’ll go along with a charade like that, getting that marriage anulled soon after would only raise speculation and may prompt Kelly to take you back to court."

"So……you’re saying its possible, right?"

Stan was speechless. "Rick….you’re not actually thinking…?"

Sav buried his face in his hands. "I don’t know what I’m thinking. All I know is that I’ll do whatever it takes to keep Ryan here with me. If Kelly wants him so bad that she’s willing to take this to court, then she can make the effort to come here when she wants to see him. Lets see just how far her desire for her son is if she loses that part of the battle."

"Well, the hearing is in 45 days. I’m gonna find out as much as I can about Kelly and what she’s been up to in the States since she left. I need to present a good defense against any improper living arrangements and such."

Sav sat there for a moment or two in deep thought. What he was thinking shocked him. He couldn’t. He just couldn’t. He couldn’t do that to Rachel, or any woman for that matter. She’d be his first choice. Hell, she’s his only choice! And, the fact that he does care for her, and also that she cares for Ryan, would make it perfect. But....would she ever go along with such a ludicruous idea? She'd probably flee the house, never to look back. Still, he couldn’t get the idea out of his mind and he wanted Ryan here at all costs.

"Stan, tell me. If….if I were to consider an arrangement with someone to get married, what would I have to do to protect myself for afterwards? I don’t want someone to put me through what Dara did."

"Well, first you’d have to choose someone you know very well and trust. And…someone that Kelly doesn’t know or never met. Since the laws in Ireland are too strict, I wouldn’t suggest getting married here. Even if it were a marriage on paper only, you’d still have to wait another four years for it to be final. I’d suggest the States – maybe a little chapel in Vegas or California even. I would draw up papers for whoever it is you choose to sign stating that, in the event of an anullment, that she forfeit any and all rights or claims to your money and assets. Basically, you’d be protected financially."

Sav sat there listening to everything Stan said as his mind went in several different directions. Whether he’d broach the subject with Rachel or not, he didn't know. He just wanted the details just in case.

******************************

Later that evening, he sat at the kitchen table with a cup of tea. Rachel was upstairs putting Ryan to sleep. Part of him had a feeling that she’d go along with it, but the other part of him felt that she’d be insulted.

However, Sav was desperate. As much as he didn’t want to lose Rachel, he was worried more about losing Ryan. He had to come first in his life. The worse that could happen was that Rachel could say no and subsequently resign. As much as he didn’t want that either, he had to take a chance in the hopes that she may say yes.

Sav went upstairs and saw Rachel quietly leave Ryan’s room.

"Rachel?"

Rachel turned at the whispered sound of name with that British accent.

"Yes?"

"Listen…I…I need to talk to you about something. Well, really, I need to ask you something."

Rachel’s insides jumbled a bit, wondering what it might be. "Absolutely. Do you want to go to the kitchen?"

"Yes, please."

Once they sat down, Sav relayed the details of the meeting he had with Stan today, only touching upon the ‘marriage’ part.

Rachel listened intently, anguising over the fact that Ryan may not live her permanently anymore. Sav sounded like a man desperate to keep his son by him at all costs.

"Rick…what are you gonna do? There has to be a way for you to be able to keep Ryan here. Something that’ll make you look favorable in the judges eyes."

"Well, that’s what I want to talk to you about, Rachel. I did mention to you that Stan said that the judge would see my home life as more stable if I were married. Rachel, please…I..I want you to know, first and foremost, that I would never consider something like this if I weren’t desperate. And…I don’t want you to think that I have no respect or consideration for you by asking you this. You’re the only person I trust in this, mainly because you’ve cared for and loved my son in these last 5 months more than Kelly ever did in his first 7 months. Rachel…there is a way. A….temporary way, I assure you. You won’t be bound to anything nor will you be harmed in any way. Once this custody battle is over, we’ll just have to continue on for a little while so it doesn’t look suspicious, but after that, everything will be dissolved and you’ll be free to……"

Sav was cut off when Rachel put a tender hand over his.

"Rick….what exactly is it that you’re asking of me?"

Sav slipped his hand out from under hers to place it on top. He looked deep into her eyes and silently prayed as he spoke.

"Rachel….will you marry me?"

15

Three weeks later

Los Angeles, CA

Beside a kidney shaped, built-in pool that was strewn with magnolia blossoms in the backyard of the Collen household, Sav and Rachel held hands and faced each other as a justice of the peace proclaimed them husband and wife.

In the past three weeks Rachel’s life became a whirlwind. Since Sav’s impromptu marriage proposal, she hadn’t been able to think straight. As soon as she got over the initial shock of his request, the reality and severity of the situation set in. In the course of her five months in his employ, Rachel had grown to care deeply for both Savage men. She knew what was at stake with Sav possibly losing Ryan to go live in the States with Kelly and decided to be open minded about what he was asking of her.

After his proposal, she remembered getting up from the table and walking around a bit. She’d occasionally glance over at Sav who was looking as if he made a big mistake, thinking he’d insulted her.

After looking at the situation from all angles, she came to a decision. She sat back down and took his hand in hers.

"Rick, right now, the main priority is doing what’s best for Ryan. And, without a doubt, you are what’s best for him. What Kelly did was cruel and unfeeling and, even though she is his mother, I couldn’t stand the fact that he went to live with her in the States with you having to go there to see him. If this will help you win this case then…..then I’ll do it."

Sav responded by putting his face in his hands and breathing a sigh of relief. He then stood up, taking Rachel with him and hugged her fiercely.

"Thank you luv. Thank you so much. I….I was so afraid to ask this of you, of anyone. I know it sounds totally selfish on my part, but I cannot lose my son. Please, if I’ve offended you in any way over this……."

Rachel had moved back from him and placed a finger over his lips, the softness of them and the intimacy of the act jarring her a bit.

"Shhh, no. You haven’t offended me, Rick. You asked me and I had a choice. And I choose to do what’s best for that baby."

Sav had taken her hand and kissed it, else he’d give into his desire to wrap himself around her and take her mouth instead. She had already given of herself selfessly in this situation, he didn’t want to push it by taking liberties with her, even if she was gonna be his wife. On paper only.

The next day, Sav contacted Stan to have the pre-nuptiul agreement drawn up for he and Rachel to sign. Regardless of the outcome of the custody case, the marriage would be effortlessly annulled afterwards with Sav and Rachel not having claim to whatever the other one has.

Rachel thought it was a joke to have Sav sign the agreement, since she had nothing, however he wanted it drawn up as to not to make her feel awkward. And she, without reservation, signed her agreement. Everything was in place. Now they just had to decide on a location.

After filling Joe and Bobbi in on the news, they waited for them to get over their mild shock to ‘congratulate’ them. All the while, Bobbi had a mischievous twinkle in her eye wondering if this marriage would ever see an anullment when this was over!

It was Joe who suggested California and, wanting to keep this as hush-hush as possible, they contacted Phil to see if he could offer some assistance. Since Rick and Viv were in England and Ireland respectively visiting their families, they couldn’t attend.

And here it was, three weeks later, as Phil and Anita, Joe and Bobbi stood off to the side watching Sav and Rachel be proclaimed ‘husband and wife’.

Sav looked so handsome in a charcoal gray suit and white collarless shirt and Rachel felt absolutely feminine in a simple, straight, white sleevless dress and matching slingback shoes that Bobbi had a blast picking out. Her blonde highlights glistened in the sun amid the small white stephanotis flowers that adorned her chic upsweep do that was courtesy of Anita. In her hand she held a bouquet of white gardenias.

Rachel hadn’t a doubt that she’d be able to get through this with a level, mature head. That is, until the justice of the peace uttered those five heartstopping words.

"You may kiss the bride."

Of course, it had to look official, especially in front of the justice. Sav tenderly placed his hands on either side of Rachel’s face and bent down to place a soft kiss on her lips. He intended for it to be a innocent, proper peck on the lips but as soon as his came in contact with hers, he couldn’t have pulled away if the pope was in front of him!

Having been without a woman for almost 6 months had him out of his mind with want. However, that want was for Rachel. He left his lips there a little longer than prescribed, wanting to see how she’d react.

Rachel held her small bouquet of flowers in one hand and reached her free hand up to place on his shoulder for support. She thought her knees would give in from the exquisite feel of that soft kiss.

And when the silky tip of his tongue ran across the seam of her lips, they almost did!

Rachel met his tongue with his only briefly before she realized that she better stop before it got out of hand in front of everyone. After all, they were just husband and wife on paper only.

There would be no intimate contact between them that normally occurs between a husband and wife. There would be no mandatory wedding night that would consist of skin-melting kisses, soft caresses and intertwined limbs as they consummated their union, uniting their bodies and their hearts.

"Rachel? Luv, answer the minister."

"Huh?"

"I said congratulations," the minister repeated.

"Oh…oh, thank you."

Sav brought her hand up and kissed it. "You okay, luv?"

"Oh, yes. My mind just wandered a bit."

Sav gave her a heartstopping grin, wondering if the kiss had the same effect on her as it did on him. He thought he’d die when he felt her tongue touch his. He took a chance doing that, not knowing why or if it were appropriate. But he couldn’t help it. Her lips were so soft and sweet and every inch of her was sweetly scented with gardenias.

What he wouldn’t give to have a true wedding night with her. His mind and body were so frustrated that, going through with this, knowing it was on paper only, made him wonder if he were doing the right thing. However, when he reminded himself that he was doing this for Ryan, and not for his own pleasure, helped him to put things back into perspective.

Still, he couldn’t get over the sight of her. How beautiful she looked! Bobbi was right. Rachel was a true diamond in the rough. She was already a beautiful woman inside – she just needed a little extra polishing on the outside to make her truly shine.

His thoughts were interrupted by the ministers words.

"Well, I present to you Mr. & Mrs Richard Savage.

Behind them, their four guests clapped. Sav turned around and rolled his eyes at them and Rachel pinked like the blushing bride she was.

Afterwards, they went inside Phil’s house for a simple fare of finger sandwiches, fruit, champagne and cake. Sav toasted with his two bandmates as he glanced over at Rachel who was enjoying champagne and strawberries while Bobbi and Anita hovered about her.

A sudden feeling came over him. One that made this moment not feel like it was planned out for some deception to gain custody of his son. It almost seemed…..right. Good. Even though Rachel was only his wife on paper, the simple gold band on her finger that matched his own made him feel as if she were so much more. An eerie feeling of protectiveness washed over him. As much as he wanted this custody battle over and done with, he dreaded the day that would put an end to what took place today.

What was he thinking? They had only known each other five months. But it was five months of living under the same roof with one another, consoling each other, caring for his son together. It never felt more like a family in his life.

"Penny for your thoughts mate?"

Sav turned to Phil. "Huh? Oh, nothing I was just um….thinking what a beautiful California day it is today. And Phil, thanks again so much for letting us use your house. The need for privacy in this matter is imperitive."

"Aye, that’s what I’m here for," Phil said. "I must say thought, for a marriage of convenience, the two of you looked awfully…..um…smitten with each other. Either that, or you’re putting on one good act in front of the justice."

"I’m afraid I have to agree with Phil," Joe added. "Mate, you had that look in your eye."

"What look?"

"Ohhhhhh, the look you get when a woman knocks you on your ass," Joe mused. You know….fall in love!"

"Hmm, I think Joe’s right, Sav," Phil said with a twinkle in his eye. "Are you sure I don’t have to prepare the guest room tonight as a ‘honeymoon suite’?"

Sav flustered. He was never one to be able to easily disguise his feelings and was guilty of wearing his heart on his sleeve. Yes, he cared about Rachel…very, very much. But….falling in love? So soon?

After a disastrous marriage, and an equally disastrous long-term relationship, Sav wasn’t sure if he’d ever be able to trust his heart to someone again. But he did. In five short months, Rachel unknowingly snagged it. However, he wouldn’t let on.

He clapped Joe and Phil on the back. "Sorry mate," he said to Phil. "You won’t have to break out the white satin sheets tonight. And, Joe….if I look like I’m in love, well…all the better to convince the judge, eh?"

Sav gave them a smirk before taking off to go out by the pool area.

Joe and Sav stood there, arms folded, as they followed the new groom as he walked outside.

"He doesn’t fool me one bit," Joe said.

"Me neither," Phil agreed.

16

Several weeks had passed since the wedding. Sav and Rachel had gotten back into their normal routine, albeit with a little awkwardness surrounding them. Every night since they got back, Sav went to bed knowing that the woman who was legally his wife was asleep in another bed on the upper level. And, every night he fell asleep fighting the desire to have her next to him.

However, his days were spent with Stan preparing fo the case. Stan told Sav that Kelly’s attorney found out about he and Rachel getting married and was sending over a court appointed liaison to meet with them and Ryan to see how they interact with one another.

A week before the hearing, the court liaison met with Sav and Rachel for the appointment. Rachel carefully dressed in conservative black pants and a feminine lavender colored blouse while Sav wore dark gray trousers and an ice blue buttoned down shirt.

The three of them sat in the living room with Ryan in the playpen next to them, gurgling and chewing on the padded edge of it.

"No, Ryan…stop," Rachel said as she disengaged his mouth from the edge of the playpen. She then turned to the liaison, a pleasant looking Irish woman in her mid-50’s. "He’s about to get his molars soon and he’s biting everything. Excuse me while I get his teething ring."

Rachel got up and left for the kitchen while Sav sat there watching the liaison look about the house and took notes. After checking off a few things on a clip board, she looked up at Sav.

"So, Mr. Savage, you and Rachel have been married for how long?"

"It’ll be one month next week," Sav said with a smile, that wasn’t at all feigned.

The liaison took note of his expression and saw the sincerity behind it. "You look awfully happy."

Sav dropped his head to hide his tell-tale blush. "Yes, I am. We were only together for five months, but I never felt anything more right in my life. And the fact that she’s so good with Ryan, and he’s positively bonkers about her, made my decision all the more easier to make."

Sav didn’t have to put on an act to convince the liaison. He meant every word he said.

"I can see that, Mr. Savage. If you don’t mind me saying so, but its written all over your face. The way you look at your wife, well, you can tell when something is genuine and when its not."

Sav knitted his brows. "I…I don’t understand. Did you come here expecting something else?"

Sav threw that question out to feign ignorance about her possibly scouting out the real reason they got married.

"Well, I must say that the fact that you got married so soon after parting company with Ryan’s mum, not to mention the fact that you married after you were served with the custody suit, raised just a tad bit suspicion. But, I’ve been interviewing couples long enough to know when something is real or faked. So, tell me….how did you and Rachel meet?"

"Well, believe it or not, she was actually hired as Ryan’s nanny after……after his mum left us. He immediately took to her and she to him. That was very important to me. And, well….I guess after spending every day in each others company, with Ryan’s welfare being our main thing in common, we just…I guess…got to know more about each other on a personal level. It just grew from there."

The liaison studied his face for possible traces of deception, but there were none there. "I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be so intrusive, however, I’m sure you understand the reason for my asking. It just seemed so soon that you married after knowing one another."

Sav was feeling confident with each answer, especially since they all came from his heart.

"Well, I’m gonna be 40 soon and I want more children. We both didn’t want to wait. We didn’t want any fancy wedding, just something simple. One of my bandmates has a very scenic backyard in California so he offered his place to us. It was a very lovely day."

Just then Rachel came back in with Ryan’s teething ring. "Sorry I took so long. I had to run it under cold water then stick it in the ice tray for a few minutes to get it cold. Here you go sweetie."

Rachel bent over and placed the ring in Ryan’s mouth. He grabbed onto it with one hand and chomped on it. Rachel sat back down on the couch next to the playpen, lovingly stroking Ryan’s light brown curls as she did.

The tenderness between the two didn’t go unnoticed by the liaison. Sav saw the liaison watch Rachel and decided to lay it on thick a bit by taking her free hand in his. Rachel looked at Sav upon feeling his touch and smiled. She then politely looked to the liaison.

"Did I miss anything while I was gone?"

"Oh, no. We were just discussing your wedding day. And, I was just mentioning to your husband how….well…right you look with one another. Anyone with two good eyes can tell you’re in love."

Rachel’s heart pounded. Of course anyone can tell she’s in love, mainly because she’s not faking it. How could she? She’d been falling in love with him long before he even ‘proposed’ to her. She then looked at Sav to gage his response to the liaison’s observation. She was rewarded with a look that matched hers, and it made her heart pound even harder.

It looked as if he were thinking the same thing. Then again, he could just be a better actor than she is at this ‘look of love’ game.

After a few more minutes, the liaison finished her tea and stood up. "Well, I think my work here is done. I’ll report my findings to the court so they’ll be present at the hearing next week."

Sav lightly touched her on the arm as she turned to the door. "Please, tell me….what are my chances in this case?"

The liaison looked at him with sympathy. "Oh, Mr. Savage…that’s not for me to say. I’m not the judge. All I can do is present my findings. I’m not sure what Ryan’s mum’s attorney will present for his case. You just can’t determine these things based on one side. Child custody cases are not always clear cut. But, you can be rest assured that what I discovered here tonight was very positive in your favor. You’ll just have to wait and find out the rest next week."

"Yes, thank you," Sav said as he saw her to the door. Rachel stayed behind, picked up Ryan and walked him around the room. She looked out the window with him in her arms until Sav’s footsteps caused her to turn around.

"Well, that went pretty well, don’t you think?"

Rachel smiled politely. "Yes, it did. She seemed um…..convinced. And it looks like we’re gonna get a glowing report because of it."

Sav put his hands in his pockets, trying to cover up his true feelings. "Yeah, I guess we are. That was the whole reason for this, right? To help my chances of getting Ryan?"

Rachel nodded. "Right. Um…well, he’s fussing a bit. Getting tired. I’m gonna get him a bottle then try to put him down for the night."

"O..okay," Sav said. "Um….what’ll you do after you put him to sleep?"

Rachel didn’t know why he wanted to know. Did he want to spend some time with her? Should she if he did? Should she risk her losing her heart completely, knowing that this entire ‘relationship’ was nothing but a masquerade that was gonna end once the case was over?

"Ummm..probably do a little reading in my room."

"O…..oh, okay. I um…I’ve got some work to do myself. We’re gonna start writing in a month or so and I’ve got some ideas that I want to get down on paper."

"Okay then, well…….goodnight," Rachel said as she brought Ryan over for his father to kiss him goodnight.

Sav kissed his face and rubbed his head. He was already getting a bit sleepy, snuggled safely in Rachel’s arms. After he lifted his head, he looked at Rachel with a longing that he knew he had to restrain.

"Goodnight, luv."

Rachel thought she saw something in his face, but quickly dismissed it. "Goodnight, Rick."

She then turned and headed upstairs. Sav watched her walk upstairs until she was out of site. Once he safely heard the door close did he whisper what his heart and mind were screaming to say.

"I love you Rachel."

17

The night before the hearing, Rachel had a hard time sleeping. She tossed and turned since she first laid down a little before 11:00pm. She continued like that until almost midnight, her mind awash with anxiety over what the day would bring tomorrow.

Knowing she needed go get some sort of sleep in order to stay awake at court tomorrow, she got up, threw her robe over her cotton, eyelet nightgown and went in search of some aspirin in the bathroom.

As she approached downstairs, she saw a light coming from the snooker room. She peeked in the slightly open door to see the billiard balls scattered all over the top of the table and the cue thrown on the floor. Over on a small sofa, Sav sat there doing something she couldn’t quite make out. As soon as her eyes came into better focus, she realized that he was twisting his wedding band around and around his finger.

She absentmindedly reached for her simple, matching gold one and did the same. Suddenly, as if he felt her through the bond in their rings, he looked up and saw her peering into the room. He quickly stood as Rachel startled a bit.

"Rick, I….I didn’t mean to disturb you. Its just that……I couldn’t sleep and went to go get some aspirin. I saw the light on in here and, well…..I’m..I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been……"

"Rachel?"

The soft British whisper of her name was like a gentle, calming breeze.

"Yes?"

He sat back down, leaned his arms on his knees, clasped his hands and hung his head. "I’m scared about tomorrow. I’m scared I’m gonna lose the major custody of Ryan. What if….what if this isn’t enough? What if I get a judge that awards the majority of the custody to Kelly, regardless of the circumstances.?"

Rachel heard the desperation and fear in his voice and walked in. As she got closer, she saw that his hands were shaking. She sat next to him and put a comforting hand on the two of his.

"Rick, I don’t know what to say except that you’re doing all you can. That alone will show tomorrow. Whereas Kelly carelessly upped and left, you’re sitting here fretting and losing sleep about possibly losing Ryan. Its not fair. You care so much more about him and love him fiercely. All we can do is hope and pray that the judge sees that."

Sav looked at her and his breath caught a bit at the sight of her in her feminine, knee length eyelet robe which covered a matching nightgown underneath. His eyes traveled to her face and the genuine concern for Ryan and the situation overwhelmed him.

He undid his clasped hands and captured hers. "Rachel, you don’t know how relieved I am that you’re gonna be there with me tomorrow. It means so much. I think you care about and love Ryan more than Kelly does."

Rachel was getting very warm at the intimacy of the situation. The feel of his hands engulfing hers, the sound of his voice, the look upon his face, the fact that she was sitting here covered in nothing but a short nightdress and matching robe and….nothing else.

She gulped as she gazed upon his beautiful face, this man who was her ‘husband’. All she wanted to do was to make him feel better – give him some hope.

"I…I can’t speak for Kelly’s feelings about Ryan, but I can speak for my own. I do care about him – a lot. And….I do love him. Its…its hard not to."

Rachel meant those words to be towards Ryan, but they were directed towards Sav. What she had fought in the months of her employment and ever since their wedding day was slowly becoming a lost battle. This situation had drawn them closer than ever and it was beginning to come to the surface.

Sav reached up and tenderly stroked her smooth cheek, sighing as he did so. "I know you do, luv. And….I..I know he cares about and loves you too. Very much. Very, very much."

Whether Sav was referring to Ryan or himself, Rachel didn’t know. However, when his head leaned into hers until she felt his lips upon her own, she didn’t care.

All was lost at the moment except the the kiss that they now shared. At first, he touched her cautiously, not knowing if he was crossing the lines. But when Rachel threw all her caution to the wind and put her arms around his neck, Sav nearly broke.

He wrapped his arms around her waist as Rachel slowly leaned her body back. Sav followed her lead and leaned with her until he was partially on top of her. His hands hungrily traced her sweet curves through the thin material as her fingers were equally frantic, lacing themselves in his soft, curly hair.

Gone was the shyness of their wedding day as Sav slipped his tongue inside her mouth, only to groan as she eagerly met it. Rachel was now writhing underneath the feel of almost his entire body weight on her. Wanting more, she broke the kiss and proceeded to kiss every inch of skin she could find on his face and neck, all the while tugging on his hair and breathing in his skin.

"Rachel," he breathlessly whispered in her ear at the feel of her lips and hands caressing and arousing him to the point of pain.

"Rick," she replied, equally breathless.

He broke off as he felt the tip of her tongue trace his ear, nibbling on his lobe and darting inside.

His train of thought flew out the window as he felt her legs part beneath him as she dug the sides of her knees into his hips. His mouth viciously took hers again as he spoke to her inbetween kisses.

And inbetween those kisses, she uttered the one word that undid him.

Without another word or thought, he hoisted her up and stood. She still clung to him, her arms about his neck as her legs encircled his waist. Sav’s hands wandered down to her smooth, naked legs. He held her around the waist with his left arm arm while his free hand grasped her left ankle. He slowly ran his hand up her leg – to the curve of her calf, the erotic spot behind her knee, up her taut, slender thigh and under her nightdress that had hitched up high to her hips.

Rachel answered by bucking against him, not being able to stand it any longer.

As much as Sav knew it wasn’t appropriate, he couldn’t wait the few seconds it would take to carry her into his bedroom across the hall. He walked forward and sat her upon the edge of the snooker table. Once she was steady, he let go of her and reached down to unfasten his jeans and push them down.

He then quickly wrapped his arms back around her waist, lifting her a bit and pushing her nightdress and robe up to her waist, baring her to him. She instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist and, with one frantic thrust, was fully inbedded inside of her.

Rachel answered by whimpering into his neck as he unleashed almost 6 months of frustration and desire upon her. And she willingly took it.

The mutual bond over his son that they shared all this time had culminated into a caring, respectful relationship that could no longer avoid giving into the love that had built out of it.

As Sav loved her beautiful, warm, willing body, his mind suddenly raced to the day she first step foot in his house – a plain, conservative young woman whom he never though would ever catch his eye, let alone his heart. But, he slowly began to care for the woman she was on the inside before this gem, this priceless, flawless diamond, showed what surprising outer beauty she did indeed have.

It was one thing to fall for a beautiful face, only to find the poison that lies beneath. Like Kelly. Sav did just the opposite with Rachel. He fell for the woman on the inside first. The rest just fell into place. And now, here she was, his ‘wife’. But now, it just wasn’t on paper only. She was willingly giving her body to him and he willingly took.

And wanted to continue to take.

Sav felt her body buck up off the edge of the snooker table as he felt her convulse around him. He took her mouth to capture her cries of pleasure before he could no longer hold back his own.

Sav shot his release hard and deep inside of her. His climax was so powerful, his knees buckled. He quickly pulled her off the table and sat on the couch, taking her with him so that she was still straddling him.

They sat there for a few moments, waiting for their breathing and heartbeats to return to normal.

Rachel then looked up at her ‘husband’ with tears in her eyes. Sav was instantly alarmed, thinking that he hurt her or, even worse, mis-used her..

"Oh God," he said apologetically. "Rachel, did I hurt you? I didn’t want…..I mean, I did want, its just….not like that. Not on the bloody snooker table! I wanted to take you into……."

Sav was cut off when he saw Rachel smile before she buried her face in his chest and began to chuckle with delight.

Sav grinned warily. "Um….did I miss something?"

She lifted her head and looked at him with a tear-stained face that was full of joy.

"Oh, all I could think about was when I first came here and you gave me the tour of your house. When we came to this room and I saw the snooker table, well….the first thing I thought of was what it would be like to……you know…..do it on the table. I um…guess I know now.."

Sav threw his head back and laughed, discovering her secret, little naughty side.

"You’re very welcome. Rachel," he said wiping the tears from her eyes. "…..are you sure I didn’t hurt you?"

She smiled softly and shook her head ‘no’. "I um….I think I found the cure to my insomnia."

Sav smiled wide. "Me too. Now that we’re sufficiently tired enough, what should we do?"

Rachel kissed the tip of his nose. "Go to bed. Together."

18

The following afternoon, Sav sat in the courtroom beside Stan with Kelly and her attorney at the table adjacent to them. He and Kelly acknowledged each other briefly with only a look – Sav with a look of audacity and Kelly with one of manipulative intent.

Behind him sat Rachel along with Joe and Bobbi who came along for support. Before the hearing began, Sav turned around for one last look at Rachel for support. She acknowledged him with a comforting smile that suddenly flooded him wit thoughts of the night before.

After their first, frenzied joining in the snooker room, they adjourned to his bedroom where they made slower, sweeter love before giving into exhaustion, knowing what today would bring. Although he had been desiring her, he had never intended for that to happen. However, the fact that she met that desire, even toppled it, made it impossible for him not to give him.

Last night changed everything about their relationship. He knew that things between them were gonna be different than before, but would her feelings still be the same after this mock marriage was dissolved? As much as he loved and cared for Rachel, he wanted to be with her and get to know her better before he made any solid commitment.

But…how much more time did he need? He already admitted to himself that she had become more to him in 6 months than Kelly had in 2 years. As much as he felt he could trust Rachel with his heart, a big part of him that was destroyed by both Dara and Kelly still made him hold a part back. He didn’t want to lose Rachel by any means. Then again, she signed the marriage agreement and knew that it was only temporary, regardless of the fact that they ‘consummated’ their union last night.

Sav had to take his mind off that matter for now and concentrate on the one at hand. The judge entered the courtroom and everyone stood until she was seated. Sav saw Stan wince upon seeing the judge and leaned into him.

"What is it, Stan?"

"That’s Judge Marilyn Harris. Lets just say she’s very liberal, especially in the ‘women’s rights’ issues."

Sav leaned back in his chair and threw his head back. "Crikey," he muttered before Judge Harris’ voice spoke out.

"Alright, we are here today for a hearing on the custody of a Ryan John Savage. The child’s mother, Kelly Walsh, is suing for full custody of her son from the child’s father, Richard Savage. Now, I usually don’t like to see things like this drag on – especially when the welfare of a child is in question. I’ve read all the preliminary reports on this case and am familiar with the backround. I will now give counsel their turns to present their cases in a more detailed light. Mr. Anderson, you may go first."

Judge Harris directed that order to Greg Anderson, Kelly’s attorney. He stood up, buttoned his jacked and presented his opening statement to the court.

"Your Honor, as you know, it has never been a common practice to keep a child away from its mother. Now, I’m sure as you’ve read from the documentation in front of you, that my client, the child’s mother, had gone through a brief period of confusion and distress shortly after Ryan was born. Although the child’s father is in a rock band, it was my client’s understanding that, once Ryan was born, that his main focus would be on raising their child together and eventually marrying. When my client was told by the child’s father that he had no plans to marry her, let alone quit the band in order to have a more stable, secure home life that a child needs, she felt that she was deceived. That’s when she went through a minor phase of confusion and depression that normally accompanies new mothers. It was during this time that she composed a letter to the child’s father, expressing her feelings of betrayal and uncertainty about continuing on in a relationship with him and even questioning her abilities as a mother. My client realized, soon after she wrote that letter and left Dublin for the States, that she had made a dire mistake and now means to correct that mistake. She loves and misses Ryan dearly and is ready to make amends for the way she acted and wants to be a mother to him. Now, Your Honor, I wish for you to take into consideration Mr. Savage’s occupation and the possible affects it would have on a young child. Since he expressed no desires to leave the band, its safe to assume that he will continue on in the same manner as he has in the past, which is being away from home quite often, writing, recording, touring, interviews, promotions, etc. Ryan will either be left at home in the care of a nanny or dragged all over the world with him – neither, I feel, is an appropriate atmosphere. My client lives at home with her mother and offers a safe, stable environment for Ryan. Your Honor, it is my expressed desire that you take this critical information into consideration and see fit that full custody of Ryan John Savage is awarded to his mother. Thank you."

Attorney Anderson sat down and looked at Kelly with a smile of satisfaction. Rachel noticed this from her seat and saw Kelly turn to look at an older woman sitting behind her and wink. The woman responded with a leery, nervous look, one that Rachel didn’t like.

Rachel also shook her head at the outright lies of his statement. Sav had shown her the letter that Kelly had left for him and in no way did it convey confusion or depression. It sounded like a woman who made a sound, determined choice to leave her son and his father.

She looked ahead at Sav’s back. He was leaning into Stan, who was whispering something in his ear. She then looked up at the judge who was making notes, a stern look upon her face, before she looked up.

"Okay Mr. Richmond. You’re next."

Stan Richmond stood up and smoothed out his jacket, preparing to give his opening statement.

Rachel said a silent prayer as she felt Bobbi grasp her hand next to her.

19

Stan Richmond took a deep breath and began his statement.

"Your Honor, as much as I feel that a child should never be separated from its mother, I believe that there are circumstances and behavioral patterns that should be taken into place before a concrete decision like that is made."

"Now, I’d like to address each point that Attorney Anderson has made. First, and foremost, the contents of this ‘letter of confusion and depression’ as he so calls it. I’m sure you have read the letter, Your Honor, which is contained in the documentation in front of you. Ms. Walsh’s decision to leave Mr. Savage and their son was pretty clear cut. Although she expressed her ‘love’ and that she would ‘never forget them’, she made it perfectly plain that it wasn’t ‘what she thought it was going to be’. My client never made any kind of promise to her that he would quit the band once their child was born. It may not be the kind of 9-5 job that most people have, but it is his and one that he will continue to hold."

"As far as saying that my client ‘never had any intention of marrying’ Ms. Walsh is also untrue. My client has informed me that, although he had never brought up the subject of marriage to Ms. Walsh, neither has she. My client, did inform me that he intended to talk to her about it after he finished up with all his band obligations from the prior tour, however, that never occurred. The day he returned from his final meeting with his management company was the day he found the letter from Ms. Walsh saying that she was leaving. The letter also stated that she ‘did not want to be contacted’ which all but solidified that she wanted to sever the ties completely."

"Now, as far as Attorney Anderson’s concern for my client’s occupation and the hazard’s it may present to a child, I’d like to say that those concerns are irrelevant. First of all, my client just finish up his band’s most recent tour not 6 months ago. Although the band does intend on starting the preliminary workings on the next album fairly soon, a possible tour to support this album wouldn’t happen for another 2-3 years. And since a majority of their work is conducted here in Dublin, Mr. Savage would not be away from home for long periods of time."

"Now, although Ms. Walsh is making an effort to provide her son with a stable environment at her mother’s residence in the States, I wish to stress that my client’s residence here in Ireland is more than stable. Ryan was born here and has lived here, in his father’s house, for the first year of his life. I also wish to stress that Mr. Savage has recently married and, according to the findings of the court appointed liaison who visited them last week, she found nothing about the atmosphere of the home or the relationship between Mr. Savage and his wife, that she would deem ‘unfit’ for a child. She also said in her report that Ryan appears to be a normal, healthy, happy one year old toddler who seems very comfortable in his surroundings and has taken to Mr. Savage’s new wife quite well."

"Your Honor, in closing, I would like to end by saying that, although Ryan’s mother should not be denied seeing him, I feel that he should not be stripped away from his normal, routine homelife here in Ireland. I am also concerned about Ms. Walsh being a possible ‘flight risk’. She already skipped out on her son with nothing but a letter left behind. Who’s to say that she won’t act that way again.

It is my expressed desire that the full custody of Ryan John Savage be granted to his father, with Ms. Walsh being granted scheduled visitation rights only."

Breathing a sigh of content, Stan sat back down and turned to Sav who had a very satisified look on his face. He then turned to the judge who looked at him with the same blank stare she had kept on her face all this time before jotting down some notes.

Sav turned around briefly and met Joe’s eyes. He nodded in appreciation of him being here and Joe nodded back with a grin. He then looked to Bobbi who offered a comforting smile before looking at Rachel.

Sav felt as if all the pressures of this day were lifted off his shoulders with that look. He just hoped that all that was being said and done was enough for him not to lose his son.

Sav reached his arm out to Rachel across the railing that separated them. Rachel took his hand and squeezed it as they exchanged loving looks with one another.

Over on the other side of the courtroom, Kelly noticed the exchange and rolled her eyes before brushing a hair out of her eye with a shaky hand.

Behind Kelly, her mother continued to look as if she were fretting.

Up on the bench, Judge Harris noticed the whole thing.

20

After Judge Harris made her tentative notes she looked up at the respective attornies. Stan was sitting there confidently next to Sav awaiting her comments, while Attorney Anderson conferred with Kelly, as his paralegal beside him busily wrote things down.

After a few moments, Judge Harris asked both counselors to stand.

"Well, as you know, this is an informal hearing. Whatever is decided today will be reviewed for further consideration in 6 months. However, the welfare of a child over where he will be these next 6 months will be decided upon today. Now, I have listened to both sides and I do see concerns with each, though none that I would readily say that would endanger a one year old toddler in any way. Now, Mr. Anderson, you’ve stated that your client has expressed her desire to make amends for the mistake that she made and is ready to take on her responsibility as a mother and has made suitable living arrangements?"

"Yes, Your Honor," Attorney Anderson replied. "She has."

"Your Honor…if I may," Stan interrupted.

Judge Harris sighed deeply, an indication that she does not like being interrupted when making a decision. However, a child’s welfare depended upon her making the right decision, so she decided to hear out any further comments that may have an impact on her decision.

"Go ahead Mr. Richmond," Judge Harris allowed.

Stan stood up and motioned to Kelly and her attorney. "Your Honor, I’m concerned about this ‘sudden’ decision of Ms. Walsh’s to ‘become a mother’ to her son. A child is your responsibility from the moment its born. You just don’t toss it away and forget about it once it doesn’t seem fun anymore. Now, anyone can make a ‘suitable’ environment, but that doesn’t erase the fact that Ms. Walsh abandoned her son without a word when he was only seven months old……"

"…..Your Honor," Attorney Anderson interjected, "as I stated earlier, my client has expressed deep remorse and regret for her decision, not to mention the fact that she has agonized over it these last five months……"

"…..Your Honor, if Ms. Walsh was so ‘agonized’ over leaving her child, then she should’ve turned right around and come back immediately……"

"….Your Honor, my client feared that her attempts to contact Mr. Savage after she left would be rejected because of what she did…."

"….Your Honor that’s irrelevant! Fear would not keep a mother from its child, that is, if the mother truly wanted that child. My client was left to pick up the pieces all by himself and be both mother and father to that child….."

"….Your Honor, Mr. Savage is a famous rock star who could afford help so he didn’t have to do it all alone. If you must know, Mr. Savage’s new wife was the nanny that he hired to help care for his son…..’

"….Your Honor, how my client met his wife is, again, irrelevant. The fact that she was Ryan’s nanny should further solidify the fact that she would be a splendid and nurturing caretaker of Ryan along with his father……."

"….Your Honor, seeing that my client has not seen her son since he was seven months old, the child would be deceived into thinking that Mr. Savage’s new wife is his ‘mum’, therefore, disallowing my client to establish a mother-son relationship with him….."

"….Your Honor, Mr. Anderson’s client should’ve thought about that before she left….."

"ENOUGH!"

Judge Harris’ bellow echoed throughout the courtroom as did the pounding sound of her gavel hitting the base to punctuate it.

"Mr. Anderson, Mr Richmond….approach the bench now! There will be a ten minute break."

Judge Harris’, again, punctuated her statement by pounding her gavel. Sav looked up at Stan and patted him on the back before approaching the bench. Sav then turned around and noticed that Rachel was gone.

The look of panic upon his face was quickly doused when Bobbi mouthed ‘ladies room’ to Sav. He then took a deep breath and turned back around, but not before he saw Kelly and her mother leave the room.

In the last stall of the ladies room, Rachel put the seat of the toilet down, sat down and drew her knees up to her chest. She wrapped her arms around her legs and tried hard to hold back tears. Just listening to the two attornies go back and forth so viciously like that hit her with a bolt of reality.

Everytime Kelly’s attorney said something in her favor, Sav’s attorney would quickly revert it back to his – and back and forth again. She was wondering if it did more harm than good in the judge’s eye.

Rachel heard the door open and the sound of lone footsteps walk down towards the end where she was and into the stall across from her. As soon as she heard the stall door close, she heard the ladies room door open again, followed by the sound of two voices.

"Kelly, honey this is turning into a circus. You have to accept responsibility for your actions and just end this. If you have any love for that little boy, you’ll leave well enough alone instead of disrupting his life."

"Mom, for the last time, shut up! I don’t want to hear another word about it," Kelly spat out. "Ryan is just as much mine and, being his mother, I stand a better chance of getting him that Rick does. Judges always award the child to his mother."

‘Yes, but Kelly…..not after what you did…."

Their conversation ceased when the door opened again. Rachel heard the sound of someone else coming in, turning on the faucet, then a paper towel being grabbed before the door opened again. Kelly and her mother were again alone, unaware that Rachel was in the last stall listening.

"Stop bringing up what I did," Kelly snipped at her mother. "I did what I felt I had to do at the time. And it did throw me into depression."

"Yes, I know," her mother said sarcastically. "And the Zocor doesn’t seem to be doing anything to help you. Kelly, if they find out you’re on anti-depressants…"

"No one’s gonna find out! And, once I get Ryan back, I’ll be fine."

"Kelly, you know as well as I do that you haven’t had a job since you came back to live with me. Your father and I don’t have the money to support you and a baby."

"Money won’t be a problem once I get custody of Ryan," Kelly said with a snicker. "I’ll make sure that the courts make Rick pay a hefty child support. We’ll be living very pretty. Don’t worry. Once I have that money, then I’ll be able to afford a nanny so I don’t have to be bound day and night, and neither will you. Trust me, mother. My plan is gonna work."

"Hurry, lets get out of here," her mother nervously said. "The judge only said ten minutes."

"Fine, lets go. I want this over and done with so I can start enjoying an easy life."

Rachel waited still as a stone until she heard the door open and close. She rested her legs on the floor and stood up, letting herself out of the stall. Just as she did, she heard the sound of the toilet flushing across from her. She forgot about the other person who came in before Kelly and her mom.

The stall door across from her suddenly opened and she met the concerned and bewildered eyes of Attorney Anderson’s paralegal. The two women exchanged knowing looks and a comforting nod before the paralegal walked over to the sink, washed her hands and left.

21

Rachel went back to her seat with a stunned look on her face. What was she goin磳磴g to do? Should she try to get the attention of Sav’s attorney and tell him what she ﻾eard in the ladies room – that Kelly’s been on anti-depressants for 6 months and just wants his money from child support? Would it be believed this late in the game?

She then wondered what Attorney Anderson’s paralegal would do, whether she’d keep the information to herself or reveal the facts to her boss. Rachel sat back down as Bobbi looked at her.

"You okay?"

Rachel decided to keep it to herself and wait to see the outcome. She turned to Bobbi and nodded before looking back at Sav. She wanted so badly to mouth ‘I love you’ to him, but she couldn’t. Regardless of how today turned out, or what happened between them last night, their charade as husband and wife would soon be over. As far as what happened last night, and whether it would interfere with her position to continue on as Ryan’s nanny, should Sav get custody, she’d just have to wait and see.

Just then, Judge Harris spoke.

"Okay. Now, I expect that the remainder of this hearing be free from any inappropriate behavior or remarks. I’ve heard all that I needed to hear and….."

"Your Honor, if you please," Attorney Anderson said, standing up.

Judge Harris looked perturbed. "Mr. Anderson, I just got finished reprimanding you and Mr. Richmond for your unprofessional behavior earlier. I do not wish to hear any more comments on the matter, is that understood?"

Attorney Anderson looked down at his paralegal who, moments before, was whispering something in his ear.

"Your Honor, I’m not going to present any more arguments on the case. Its just….I need to speak to my client in private regarding this matter before you make a decision. Its of the utmost importance."

On the other side, Sav and Stan looked at each other, wondering what was going on. Rachel looked across the room at the paralegal, who met her eyes and gave her a reassuring grin. Rachel couldn’t believe it! It was almost as if she and Sav had some kind of an ally on the other side.

"Mr. Anderson, you have five minutes with your client. You may use that room over there for privacy. Five minutes!"

"Yes, thank you, Your Honor."

Attorney Anderson turned to a confused and none-too-happy Kelly and asked her to step inside the room.

After about three minutes, they both emerged. Kelly looked fit to be tied. She stormed over to the table to sit down but, before she did, she looked at her mother and pointed.

"This is all your fault! You and your big mouth!"

The sound of the gavel coming down rang through the court room. "That will be enough! Mr. Anderson, are you finished so that we may proceed?"

Attorney Anderson took a deep breath. "No, Your Honor. It isn’t finished. I…I just received some information that was relative to this case and I needed to confer with my client over it. Because of that, I’m sorry to say that, as of this moment, I can no longer represent Kelly Walsh."

A collective gasp was heard throughout the courtroom. Sav put a hand on Stan’s shoulder and Stan gave him a hopeful look. Stan stood up.

"Your Honor, if I may. If there are circumstances that Attorney Anderson knows that may affect this decision, not to mention the welfare of Ryan John Savage, then I believe that those circumstances should be made known."

The sound of Kelly hitting the table in frustration and muttering the ‘f’ word caught everyone’s attention. Especially the judge’s.

"That will be enough, Ms. Walsh! I will have no more outbursts in this courtroom. Now, Mr. Anderson, by your sudden decision to back out from representing Ms. Walsh raises a whole bunch of issues, some that may seriously affect my decision. I can only surmise that what you have discovered has put you in a situation that you can no longer represent Ms. Walsh morally or ehtically. Is this correct?"

"Yes, Your Honor," Attorney Anderson solemnly replied.

"Ms. Walsh, I want you to know that, whatever it is that has caused your counsel to disengage himself from representing you, may have an affect on my decision, not to mention any further decision on this matter when it reconvenes again in six months. Now is your chance to change your mind, if you think it won’t have any bearing on this case."

Kelly sat there with folded arms and a look of pure hatred and defeat upon her face. It was clear that the love for her son did not extend that far that she was willing to confess her physical and psychological state these past six months.

"No, Your Honor," Kelly said with a twinge of venom. "I wish for the information that I shared with my attorney to be confidential."

Judge Harris raised a surprise eyebrow before folding her hands upon her bench.

"Well, based upon all that has been said and done here today, I find that it is this courts decision that full custody of Ryan John Savage be awarded to his father, Richard, with his mother, Kelly Walsh, having scheduled, supervised visits."

Sav leaned his head back and brought his hands to his face, breathing out a sigh of relief.

Kelly, on the other hand, shot up out of her chair and stormed out of the courtroom, leaving her attorney and her mother behind. The judge noticed this and shook her head. She then noticed the relieved look on Sav’s face over not having to lose his son and knew then and there that she made the right decision for the child.

Sav got up and hugged Stan, clapping him on the back.

"Thanks, Stan. Or…should I say, thanks to whatever it was that Anderson found out."

"I’d love to know what it was that caused him to tuck tail and run like that," Stan replied.

Sav then turned to Joe and Bobbi who offered hugs of congratulations. He then sidled over to Rachel who held her hands out to him.

"You did it," she exclaimed.

"No luv….we did it," he replied, lovingly kissing her hands. "However, what it was that caused Kelly’s attorney to retract probably did the trick. I wonder what it was."

Rachel leaned forward and whispered in Sav’s ear. "I know what it was."

Sav leaned back and looked at her with astonishment, before Rachel silenced him.

"No…not here. Later."

Sav nodded before Stan got his attention. "I’ll call you tomorrow as soon as I have the final paperwork prepared. I’m sure now that Anderson removed himself, that the court may appoint Kelly’s visitation schedule. If you want I can swing by tomorrow and bring you the papers to be signed."

"That’ll be great, Stan. I appreciate it. Thanks for all your help."

"My pleasure, Rick. Now…go home with your ‘wife’ and be with your son!"

Stan punctuated the word ‘wife’ with a smirk before he turned to leave.

Sav turned back to Rachel who overheard Stan’s comment. She tried to brush it off by joking about it. "Well, c’mon, hubby. Lets do what he says!"

Sav smiled as he took her hand to go home, planning on doing a lot more than what Stan suggested!

22

On the ride home, Rachel told Sav what she and Attorney Anderson’s paralegal had overheard in the ladies room. Sav was both shocked and saddened by Kelly’s psychological state that she had to go on anti-depressants. However, her refusal to make it known, and obviously keep it a secret, may only hurt her chances in the future of ever having extended, non-supervised visits with Ryan.

After that, they rode in silence. The only contact between them was their index fingers, which were interlocked with each other.

Sav’s mind was going in several different directions. Now that he has full custody of Ryan, and Kelly was no longer a threat, his ‘marriage’ to Rachel need not have to continue. He kept quiet about the situation, hoping that maybe Rachel would bring up the subject of what was to come now that this custody nightmare was over.

Little did he know, that Rachel was thinking the same thing. Since Sav hadn’t mentioned their status, she just let it be and decided to wait it out. She wasn’t stupid, however. She braced herself for when that time came, however, it didn’t erase the fact that, after what happened last night, there was something there between them that no longer kept them on a ‘nanny/employer’ relationship.

As much as she wanted to protect her heart from what was to come, she was helpless against losing it to this wonderful man beside her. She threw caution to the wind last night. Should she continue, knowing that she might end up heartbroken?

For the last several years she had played it safe and conservative, just like her outward appearance. However, after coming into Sav’s life, her life had taken a 360 degree turn, both inside and out. Sure, Bobbi was the catalyst for helping her bring about her new look, but Sav made her feel like she shone from the inside, not just out.

When they got home, Rachel relieved the sitter who was taking care of Ryan. When she left, she and Sav played with Ryan together. At dinnertime, Rachel placed Ryan in his highchair and she and Sav took turns feeding him while they had dinner together.

Afterwards, Sav walked his son, who was peacefully sleeping on his shoulder, and put him down for the night. As he stood above his crib, he stared down at the mini image of himself as he stroked his headful of soft, light brown curls. Tears began to form in his eyes at the thought of losing him to Kelly in her condition, had it not become known.

"I love you Ryan," he softly whispered. "You are my number one priority and my life. I’ll fight to the death to make sure you never leave my side."

He then thought about someone else whom he didn’t want to leave his side. Rachel. He knew that she wouldn’t bring up the ‘marriage’ situation, thus leaving it to him. But he didn’t want to bring it up either. Right now, he just wanted to concentrate on the great victory he had today and the lovely woman downstairs who helped to make it possible.

Downstairs, Rachel was at the sink putting teacups in the diswasher. As she turned off the water, she was startled by the pair of arms that secured themselves around her from behind.

"Thank you," was breathlessly whispered in her ear in a silky British accent.

Rachel turned in his arms and looked up into the most incredible blue eyes that she’d ever seen in her life. They were the eyes of a father who loved his son so much that he was willing to do anything to keep him. Nothing was more beautiful to her.

"You’re welcome, Rick. Anything for……Ryan. He belongs with you and no one else. You’re the best thing for him."

"He’s not the only thing that’s best for me," he whispered inches from her lips before he touched them to hers.

This moment, nor the rest of the night, was the time to talk about the status of their situation. All that existed right now was a man and a woman and a need for each other.

Sav broke the kiss, took her by the hand and whispered in her ear.

"Follow me," was all he said before he led her to the bedroom for the night.

23

The following morning, Sav awoke to find the space beside him empty. No doubt, Rachel had automatically awaken the same time she knew Ryan did.

He rolled over on his stomach to her side of the bed and laid his head on her pillow, breathing in the scent of gardenias. Memories of the night before flooded his mind, and his body.

They made love only once, a slow, sweet almost silent joining of their bodies and hearts. Neither one had to speak, for their actions spoke what they were afraid to. They also didn’t speak fearing the dreaded subject of their ‘marriage’ would come up and splash a cold dose of reality on them.

But there was no denying that it had to be brought up sooner or later. He preferred later. Much much later.

He rolled on his back and ran his hand from his lower stomach all the way up his chest, retracing the same path her hands took last night. He got so lost in the memory of the sweet feel of her hands and lips all over him last night that he hadn’t realized that his own hand wandered beneath the sheet, coming into contact with something hard and growing.

His eyes flew open. "Crikey!" All he wanted to do was go find Rachel and drag her back to bed to take care of his morning problem. But, her priorities with his son came first.

He instead opted for a cool shower to remedy the situation quickly. He tousled his curly blonde hair into place as he dried it with a diffuser, shaved the stubble from his face, slid his glasses on his nose then dressed in jeans and an untucked white buttoned shirt.

He headed to the kitchen where he found Ryan sitting in his high chair, kicking his feet against he base and tossing Cheerios all over the floor.

"Da-da!"

His announcement of his father’s presence caused Rachel to turn around from her place at the counter. She and Sav exchanged warm smiles and twinkling eyes before he took a seat at the table next to Ryan.

"Good morning, little mate. I think there’s more Cheerios on the floor than in your bowl."

Rachel then walked over with a piece of lightly buttered toast cut up into little pieces and placed it on Ryan’s tray.

"Lets see how long it takes before the toast joins the Cheerios on the floor," she mused.

Before she turned to go back to the counter, Sav grabbed her hand to turn her back to him.

"Yes?"

"Good morning."

Rachel’s eyes roamed all over him, just as her hands roamed over him the night before. She could’ve sworn her heart stopped beating at the sound of his voice.

"Yes it is…isn’t it," she replied.

Sav replied to that by pulling on her arm until she bent down to him so he could give her a kiss. When he released her, he looked into her eyes.

"It is now!"

"Da-da!"

Sav and Rachel rolled their eyes at Ryan’s ever interuptive presence. But, it was a very welcome one. Just then, the intercom buzzed from the front gate. Sav got up and pushed the button.

"Yeah?"

"Rick, its Stan. Listen, I’m sorry I couldn’t call ahead of time, but I had an appointment in the area and I thought I’d swing by with the final custody papers. I was at the office late last night preparing them, knowing you wanted to finalize everything as soon as possible."

"Not a problem Stan. Come on in."

Sav pushed the button to release the gate and went to meet Stan at the door.

"Thanks for seeing me on such short notice," Stan said again as he came in the door. "Where do you want to do this?"

"Kitchen’s fine," Sav replied.

Stan walked in and smiled wide at Ryan with a mouthful of toast. "Well, hello there lad. Damn, Rick, he’s getting big."

"I know. I think he may wind up playing American football instead of soccer!"

"Perish the thought!" Stan then turned when he saw Rachel. "Rachel, nice to see you."

"Hi Stan. Would you like some tea or coffee?"

"Oh, no thank you. I can’t stay long. I just wanted to drop the final custody papers off for Rick to sign."

"Oh, well then, I’ll leave the two of you so you can take care of it."

"Well, actually Rachel, if you could stay, I guess I could kill two birds with one stone," Stan said as he pulled more papers out of his briefcase.

"Oh? What do you mean?"

"Well, since yesterday was a success, I guess its safe to commence absolving the um….marriage. Lets see….here’s the original documents that were signed and…oh, yeah….here. I drew this up so I’d have it in the event it was needed. This basically grants you a quickie divorce. Since these documents here were signed ahead of time, there’s no problems with assets, money, etc. If you want, why don’t you two just sign this and we’ll get this little matter out of the way before I go over the custody papers with Rick."

Rachel stared at the dreaded piece of paper on the table and the pen that Stan extended to her. She felt like she was punched in the gut when Stan referred to absolving their marriage as a ‘little matter’.

Her eyes quickly darted to Sav’s who had the same look of anxiety upon it. Was it because he didn’t want it, or because he was just hoping she’d sign it without any problems or hassless in front of Stan.

Since Stan was sitting there with the pen and a puzzled look on his face, she didn’t want to make the situation any awkward than it was. There was no time to talk this over and, it was obvious by Sav’s silence, that he probably wanted this done too.

Who was she kidding to think that Sav would change his mind and stay ‘married’ to her. Regardless of the two passionate nights they spent together, they were just that. It didn’t ensure a future together. It just solidified the fact that rock stars don’t marry their children’s nanny.

Rachel gathered her bearings and smiled politely as she walked towards Stan.

"Ladies first, I guess," she desperately tried to joke as she took the pen. Using every ounce of control not to look at Sav, she bent over the table and signed her name to the paper – absolving her marriage from Sav.

She looked up at Sav who looked as if all the blood drained from his face. Not knowing what to read into it, she handed him the pen. "You’re next."

Sav slowly took the pen from her as she went over to Ryan. "Well, if you gentlemen excuse me, I’m gonna give this little man his bath. Stan, it was good to see you."

"You too, Rachel. And thank you for all your help and support."

Without looking back, Rachel responded to Stan.

"Well, like I told Ri……..Mr. Savage…..anything for Ryan."

Hearing Rachel call him ‘Mr. Savage’ was like a knife in Sav’s heart. He wasn’t sure if she signed the paper because she wanted to or because she was on the spot. Now it was Sav’s turn.

Stan watched him warily as he hesitated signing his name. When the pen hit the paper, his hand slowly moved. "R-i-c-h-a-r-d S-a-v……….

Sav stopped as Stan looked on.

"Something wrong Rick?"

Sav was silent for a few moments before answering.

"Um, Stan…c…can we continue this tomorrow. I’m really sorry, I guess I’m still a little bit frazzled from all that happened yesterday. I’ll come to your office and we can go through all the papers without any rush. I know you have to get out of here."

"Oh, no problem. Listen, hold onto them to review them before you come by. Say….around 11:0am or so?"

"Perfect. I’ll be there."

Sav saw Stan to the door before he went back to the kitchen. He picked up the agreements that he and Rachel had signed before they got married and the anullment that was partially executed and went in search of her.

He found her in Ryan’s room, dressing him after his bath. When Rachel heard him come in, she turned around.

The fresh tears filling her eyes was the answer to his question regarding how she felt about him and their ‘marriage’.

As he silently stood in front of her, he held up the pre-marital agreements and anullment paper and tore them in half.

24

Rachel stood there with astonishment in her eyes at two pieces of paper that finalized the dissolution of her and Sav’s marriage. Well….not any more, now that it was torn in half.

Her eyes darted to Sav. "Why did you do that?"

"Why are you crying?"

His question caught her by surprise. "I…I….Ryan splashed soapy water in my eye while I was giving him his ba…….."

Sav rushed forward and took her face in his hands, cutting off her speech and her thought.

"You’re lying, Rachel. Tell me. Why are you crying? I need to know. I need to know that tearing those papers up was the right thing."

She studied the desperation in his face, totally disbelieving that he didn’t want their marriage to end. A marriage of convenience that suddenly turned into one of love.

The tears that had welled up in her eyes had escaped down her face.

"I’m crying because…..because….I..oh, who am I kidding? I know what the real reason for this marriage was."

"It doesn’t matter what it started out to be," Sav whispered in a gravelly voice. "What matters is what it turned out to be. Rachel, I admit that when you walked in my front door 6 months ago, you didn’t look like the type of lass who would catch my eye. That’s because I was foolish and was looking on the outside. Over the course of time, I got to know little things about you – who you were on the inside – not to mention watching the tender care you take of my son. That alone drew me to you. The fact that you went shopping with Bobbi that day and showed up in the hall that night in that bloody, sexy black dress with your hair and everything else looking so beautiful did nothing to change how I felt about you. If anything it only intensified it. I already was beginning to discover that you were a beautiful person, with or without all those changes. You know what Bobbi described you as? A diamond in the rough. You were already a precious gem, you just needed someone to come along and make you shine."

Rachel couldn’t stop the flow of tears that streamed down her face. Never in her life had anyone, male or female, described her so. She had never felt more desirable, more beautiful in her life as Sav said those words to her. If she shined, it was because of him.

"You were that person, Rick. You……and Ryan. At first, I did it for myself, but I guess some deep part of me wanted you to notice me, even though I had no illusions of anything ever happening."

"Why would you think that?"

"Because, Rick. Because I was ……just a nanny."

Sav smoothed her hair and tilted her head back. "You’re not ‘just a nanny’, Rachel."

Rachel stared up at him breathless. "Then what am I, Rick?"

"My wife," he said confidently as he leaned down and passionately kissed her. Their arms went about each other as hands fought to feel curves and muscle through fabric.

"I love you," he whispered into her mouth.

"I love you too, Rick," she whispered back.

"Da-da! Way-sill!"

Sav laughed inside Rachel’s mouth as he broke the kiss. "Way-sill?"

Rachel grinned. "That’s the best he can say ‘Rachel’. Rick….do..do mean that you want us to stay married."

"Only if you want me still as your husband."

If only every girl could have that question posed to her! She put her arms around his neck. "Yes, I do. Literally and figuratively."

"Well, if we’re gonna stay married, then we’ve got to do it the right way. We’re gonna renew our vows in a church with a priest with my family, friends and bandmates there. What do you think about a little chapel in Sheffield?"

"Sheffield? Not here?"

Sav sighed deeply. "Well, somethings come up that we need to talk about. I’ve been thinking long and hard about selling the house and moving back to Sheffield. I’d like to have my mum come live with us, seeing that she’s alone."

Rachel smiled. "You’re a good son! I think that’s a beautiful idea. Also, it’ll look extra good in the eyes of the court for a wild, rock star to be having his mummy live with him!"

"Well, I’m not wild anymore," Sav said with a grin. "Well…..only where its necessary."

Rachel grinned wildly at the blush that crept upon his cheeks. He was a beautiful man, who was a shy lad inside – not exactly the criteria for a rock star.

But, more importantly, he was Ryan’s father. And…..her husband. Her incredible, wonderful sexy husband that made her feel more precious and priceless than a flawless diamond!