Dear Kev! this is the part of the site that the band like to use to keep it real! You email us your problems and I'll do my best to offer helpful impartial advice! Go on what have you got to lose? (actually I'm quite good at it I helped out Rob, and now he's got pubes!)




Dear Kev
I am very worried that I may infact be getting too fat, and may in fact be a danger to myself and the public. My family are now mocking me and saying that if I get any fatter I'll be shut in, and I think they might be right!
It all started in the playground, children used to taunt me and call me fatty fatty fat fat, but then I got a girlfriend so stopped hanging round there, as I had no reason to be there! It got a bit better , but now even she mocks me and says if I dont lose weight then I wont get any sex, which is the only exercise I do without the aid of a chichen and mushroom pie, so I'll just get fatter!
The local concil are threatening to use me to up their revenue by charging me a 'fat tax'as they feel that it will bring in enough to run 3 schools for a year!
I have enclosed a photo of myself but as you can see it only has a small part of me as the lense wasnt big enough to get me all in, an its a advantex set on wide! Help me Kev, what can I do? I want to get thin but love chichen and mushroom pies to much!
Oh yea and to make matters 1000000000 times worse, I'm welsh too!
Anon, via email.


Kev says;
Dai, shut the fuck up and just lose some damn weight!you are a fat fat man! If you don't want to suicide is another option worth concidering! (you fat fuck!)



Dear Kev
You didn't tell anyone about my pubes did you?


Kev Says;
Of course not Rob, why would I do that?



Dear Kev

Why are you such a tit?
The wife of Titman, Chester

Kev Says:
You're a tit too!




Dear Kev
I have a big problem, I found out that my girlfriend is actually my dad. We got together by accident, we were in the pub, I slipped on some beer and ended up in a tender embrace with the most beautiful "woman" I'd ever seen. We spent a lot of time together doing savory activities, like pie making, pie eating, pie races, pie anonymous meetings, and have grown very close. We have been sleeping with each other for the past three months but I never realised that it was not just a large dildo that was being used, but infact a penis. I found out by mistake, I walked into him as he took a jimmy in the toilet! I was so shocked that I ended up on my knees, which he took as an invitation, I don't think you need a diagram. I looked in his wallet to find out what his real name was, it was obviously not Diane as he had claimed, as I looked I realised that he was infact my father!
What can I do? I'm so confused, I love him but I'm not gay, or into incest, (that much).

Dai Jones, St Davids.

Kev Says:
You are a total tit Dai, only you could end up sleeping with your dad thinking it was a women! You are welsh so are much, much more used to incest and so just go with it! You'll find a way of sorting your self out, you always do! You are a fat fat man!