More quotes

Gotta love the quotes.

Quotes, lots and lots of lovely quotes

• Life is wasted on the living. - Douglas Adams
• Profanity is the effort of a feeble mind to express itself forcefully. --Unknown
• Corporation: an ingenious device for obtaining individual profit. - Ambrose Bierce
• I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me. - Dave Barry
• Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes. - Oscar Wilde
• The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in the person's determination. --Tommy Lasorda
• All progress means war with society. - George Bernard Shaw
• But, sadly, I am human. - Amber Taylor
• You must die. I alone am best! - heard on the Bloodhound Gang's latest cd
• Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage. - Billy Corgan
• It's a man's world, and for a woman to survive she must betray her own kind. - from Blonde
• 99% of human kind does not deserve to live. - from Blonde
• If you think you can win, you can win. Faith is necessary to victory. - William Hazlitt
• All that's necessary for the forces of evil to win in the world is for enough good men to do nothing - Edmund Burke
• So many women can't say the word
• Catholic girls make the best dykes because their whole lives they're told 'Having sex with men is a sin!' 'Oh... okay. - Judy Carter
• The radical right is so homophobic that they think global warming is caused by the AIDS quilt. - Dennis Miller
• George Bush is on a sinking boat. Who gets saved? The nation.
• Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go. - Oscar Wilde
• If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. - Carl Sagan
• We ought never to do wrong when people are looking. -Mark Twain
• Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay, and before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp. - Bob Ettinger
• Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God.... I could be eating a slow learner. - Lynda Montgomery
• I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go west.' - Richard Jeni

More of those quotes I love so very much

• Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography' - Paul Rodriguez
• Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. -Oscar Wilde
• Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution just yet. -Mae West
• Suppose you were an idiot... And suppose you were a member of Congress... but I repeat myself. -Mark Twain
• Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait. - A. Whitney Brown
• We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines. They don't know if we can fight or if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, 'You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms.' -Elayne Boosler
• If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten -George Carlin
• When you stop believing in Santa Claus is when you start getting clothes for Christmas!
• Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
• Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.
• I have learned there is little difference in husbands, you might as well keep the first.
• Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.
• I don't approve of political jokes...I've seen too many of them get elected.
• Dyslexia means never having to say that you're yrros.
• Regular naps prevent old age.....especially if you take them while driving.
• After all is said and done, usually more is said than done.
• No one ever says 'It's only a game,' when their team is winning
• How come we choose from just two people for president and 50 for Miss America?
• Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been.
• Don’t compromise yourself. You're all you've got. --Janis Joplin
• If at first you DO succeed, try something harder. -- Ann Landers
• What if I say to you that the universe is a three-legged horse, eh? What then? - Russell Hoban
• I celebrated Thanksgiving with strict tradition this year. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land. - George Carlin
• I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick -- not wounded -- dead. - Woody Allen