“Backstreet Boys,” Taylor said, licking the last of the homemade vanilla off of his spoon. “Nope!” Jessica responded, crossing her legs in front of her on the tire swing. Taylor squinted his eyes and began to think harder. “N-sync?” he asked her. She just shook her head this time, given the fact she had just put a spoonful of chocolate in her mouth. “Ugh, you haven’t even heard N-Sync? I mean, those losers are everywhere!” Jessica laughed at this, spinning the tire swing around by pushing her toe in the sand below her. Taylor smiled at this. Give a girl ice-cream and a tire swing, she couldn’t be more happier. And after that sad look she had given him in the kitchen before dinner, he couldn’t be more glad to see that happiness.
After dinner, while the sun was still setting, all the kids in the house had decided that they wanted to go play in the pond again. Usually, Taylor wouldn’t have been included in this, but he was kinda curious about what was behind those brush of trees. At dinner, he had asked Jessica about it, and she had told him with a light in her eyes. Ever since she was little, Sara and her had practically grown up near the pond...it was like a “secret garden” she had explained to him. Actually, since the pond was so far out of the way of the house, no one knew about it until Jessica had gotten lost when she was six years old. And for two years after that, the only person she told about the pond was Sara. So every year, the two girls disappeared into the trees, and didn’t come out until dinner. And eventually, they HAD to tell someone about it, so now it was all of Jessica’s cousins favorite place to be.
As soon as Taylor had walked into the setting of the pond, he could instantly see why these people loved it so much. It was like a tropical pool instead of a typical pond. Maybe hundreds of flowers framed the outside of the pond, and ivy hung from the tall trees above, shading it from the suns rays. It was as if it was from a fairy tale. Maybe that’s why his sisters had such a liking to it. They couldn’t stop exclaiming at it’s beauty
And now, there he was, talking to Jessica just a few yards from it. It was as if her personality changed altogether when she was in her hideaway. They were actually having a conversation. Sure, she was still Jessica, but it was like something happened to her. It was like she could be herself hidden away from life...and Taylor didn’t like the thought of that. There had to be something that explained her wanting to get away. And even if it killed him, he was going to find out what it was. But now he was perfectly content with just talking her. It was practically the first time.
“Um...Madonna?” he asked her. She stopped twirling and thought about it. “Actually, you know I have heard her music...I mean, even if you were living in a hole you would know who she is,” she replied, finishing off her last bite, and throwing the paper bowl out of the way. Taylor laughed and held his hand up to his face, pretending he was holding a microphone. “Congratulations!” he said to her in a talk show host kind of manner, “you have heard of Madonna! How does it feel?” He held his “microphone” up to her face. She tapped her finger against her cheek, pretending to think. “It feels...well, crappy actually. I mean, I didn’t say I liked her music.” Taylor then pretended to be shocked. “What did you say? I think we might have to bleep that part out of the interview. Blaspheming on television...what is the world coming to?” Jessica just rolled her eyes. “Any song with the word “virgin” in it is a waste of my time!” she commented, starting to laugh. Out of nowhere, Taylor instantly got a tingly feeling shooting throughout his body when she started laughing. And he had no idea why. A laugh was a laugh, right?
Taylor guessed that he had probably spaced for a minute cause Jessica was giving him a complexed look. “Sorry, Taylor, I didn’t know that you liked Madonna so much,” she replied, looking extremely sorry. If it was another thing that Taylor didn’t understand about this girl, was the fact that she was just so sorry all the time. “No!” he answered her, catching her off guard, “it’s not that! I’m known to go off places when I talk to people...sorry about that. Actually, if you want the truth, I don’t like her much either.” Jessica just smiled at this. Taylor noticed a slight blush rising in her ivory cheeks. “So what were you thinking about?” she asked him. Taylor swallowed, and came up with a good answer. “Um...I was just thinking about what you like to listen to. I mean, what kind of Christian music?” Taylor sighed deeply inside of him. That would have been embarrassing. Although, it wouldn’t have been if he didn’t think that she could know what he was thinking 24/7.
Jessica didn’t seem to even think about this question. She started naming off groups and artists before he could even blink. “Supertones, DC Talk, Jaci Valesquez, Five Iron Frenzy, SmallTown Poets, the W’s, Jars of Clay...” she stopped to take a breath. Taylor’s eyes were wide. “Is that all?” he asked her slowly. She looked at him strangely. “No way, that’s not even half!” she replied, smiling. Taylor laughed. “Well, sorry to say this, but I’ve only heard of DC Talk. They were at the Grammy’s last year, and after it, I went out and bought Jesus Freak,” Now it was Jessica’s turn for her eyes to widen. “That’s all you have heard of? I thought you said that you listened to it too,” she responded. Taylor grinned sheepishly. “Well, you don’t have to listen to everyone in Christian music to listen to it, do you?” he asked her. Jessica blushed even harder this time and grimaced. “Yeah, sorry. Maybe I understand now why it’s such a big deal not to know anyone in your type of music,” she said, “those artists are like my life.” Taylor was interested in her last words. There were many artists that he was inspired by too...more than anyone could understand.
“Really?” he asked her, getting into a sitting position. Before, he was sprawled out on the freshly cut grass on his stomach. “Do you mean you are inspired by them?” Jessica looked at him as he sat up, but then immediately looked back down when he said this. He could see her nod slightly. “Great...” he thought, “look what I just did!” He moved his head forward and down a little so he could see her face. It was hardened into a frown...like she was debating something. “Jessica?” he asked her softly. He could see her swallow, and then finally start to lift her head. He was grateful that she wasn’t crying. Obviously, it was something big. Very big.
“Um...” she started, “yeah, music has helped me through a lot of things, I guess.” Her voice was barely hearable above the commotion heard from the pond area. Throwing rocks into water is probably louder that you think. Taylor looked down from Jessica’s face to her hands. From the looks of things, he could see them start to tremble. Man, how he wanted to hold her right now. Looking again to her face, he forced her eyes to look into his. “Jessica, whatever it is, and I know it’s something, I just want you to know I’m sorry,” he told her slowly. He tried to show her by his eyes how much he was sorry. It suprised him that at that moment she didn’t look away. She was actually studying his eyes...trying to find the truth behind them. “Taylor?” she could hear her ask softly. “Yeah?” he answered, still looking behind her eyes, wanting so bad to know. “Do you know God?” she asked him seriously. Taylor hadn’t expected this. “Um...yeah. Of course I do,” he responded, not sure how else he was supposed to. “No, Taylor, that’s not what I mean,” she replied back, “I mean...do you know Him?” Taylor just looked at her. Over the past few years, he knew his relationship with God wasn’t that strong. Praying just started to seem in the way. But he knew he loved God. And that’s what really counted right? “Yeah...” he said to her, “I think I do.” Jessica nodded slightly. “Good,” she said, pulling her arms around herself, “cause I really want that for you Taylor. I really do.”
*****************************************************************
Taylor groaned inwardly as his half of his comforter struggled to the floor. He had been tossing and turning all night long, and every other second the thing always seemed to end up not on the bed. Who could actually sleep with those things anyway? Giving up, he left the troublesome blanket on the floor and rolled on to his back. “You should be exhausted,” he told himself, “so why aren’t you sleeping? Oh, yeah!” he thought mockingly, “knowing Jessica is in the next room is driving you nuts!” But that wasn’t the only reason. What Jessica had said about her wanting him to know God really hit a soft spot with Taylor. He knew his life was different when he stopped praying. But it just seemed so much easier to not pray. And even if he did still pray...what would he pray about? Going from city to city didn’t leave him that much time to go to church. And plus, how the heck was he supposed to have Mass with teenage girls screaming at him from the pews? It would probably be a long time until he could do that again. At the beginning, he told himself that it didn’t matter. That his faith would always be a huge part of his life. But slowly and surely, it started to diminish. Not that he had become a Satanist or anything like that, it just wasn’t as strong. Nothing could keep him from believing in his God. But something could keep him from keeping it strong. And for a long time, he could feel the hurt way down deep inside.
Taylor looked to the other side of this room to his dresser. After their “God” conversation, the sun had finally went down, and everyone had to go in before the mosquitoes ate them up. As soon as they were in the house, Jessica had gone up to her room to retrieve a CD to let him borrow. She told him that it was the new DC Talk one called Supernatural. He had no idea that they had a new one. He was actually kind of excited to listen to it.
Taylor jumped up from his warm bed, and walked over to retrieve the CD. Her soft words came back to him as he opened the case and looked at the CD itself. “Listen to number 10,” Jessica had said to him, “it’s practically my life story.” In that moment, Taylor was sure that Jessica had opened up to him...at least a little bit anyways. She had looked back at him as she walked up the stairs to get her sisters ready for bed. Suprisingly enough, that look wasn’t as frightened as Taylor had seen before.
Taylor sat back down on his bed, opened the drawer by it, and pulled out his
portable CD player. After sticking the CD in, he laid back down and pressed a button till
the window shown back with a number 10, and then play. He had expected an alternative
beginning...since on his own CD, he knew DC Talk wasn’t even the slightest bit
contemporary...but he was suprised to hear a member of the band singing some type of
ballad in the opening to it. He turned it up so he could hear it better.
*Was at the end of my rope,
had nowhere to go
Was at the end of my rope,
I had nothing to show
Until the day that I turned to you,
was at the end...*
Suddenly Taylor jumped about a mile up in the air as heavy drum beating
immediately sounded in his ears. He took ahold of his headphones, and practically threw
them across the room. Even from the end of the bed, he could still hear the
SKA/alternative sounding music playing. He was breathing heavy, totally thrown offguard
by this. Which was weird, since he should be used to loud music by now. “I wonder if
she forgot to tell me that on purpose...” he wondered outloud as he retrieved the CD
player from the end of the bedpost. He pressed back on the player, and began to listen to
the rest of the song. (author’s note: Okay, yeah, that might sound really stupid to most of
you people...but this DID really happen to me! It scared the living...well, I won’t say
that.)
*You call me crazy, man you make my day
My state of residence is disarray
At every party and as far as anybody
knew - everything was cool, but
The truth was bottled up inside of me
I was as lonely as a man could be
And my 200 friends couldn’t fill the void
in my soul
It was a giant hole
Nothing made any sense
I thought there would never be an end
Then love came knocking at my door
Since I met you, I’ve been alright
You turn all my darkness into light
And since I met you I’ve been okay,
I’ve been alright
Since I met you I’ve been okay
You’re rolling my winter into May
Since I met you I’ve been alright
I’ve been okay, been okay
You got me feeling like a million bucks
Some people write it off as Irish luck
But I know better ‘cause my rabbit’s
foot never did me a bit of good
The truth it hit me like a sock in the eye
A revelation that I can’t deny
Your love has overtaken every little
part of me
You were what I needed
Now I’m carried away
Never seen the sunshine like today
You made something out of my life
Sick and tired of the same ol’ fluff
You took me in and you shook me up
You got me tripping on a vision of eternity
I can see it clearly*
As soon as the song echoed away, Taylor immediately stopped the rotating of
the disk. He took off the headphones and sat up in his bed and took a deep breath. “You
just had to listen to that now didn’t you Taylor?” he again asked himself outloud. How
was he supposed to go to sleep now? He was pretty sure that the family wanted to go
riding the next day too. Talk about calluses.
But he couldn’t go to sleep now. He didn’t want to. He wanted to ask her
what had happened in her life. So bad he could taste it. Of course, he knew she had
changed from what she used to be. The song told him that right off the bat.
“Dang it,” he muttered under his breath. He was going to do it. He was
actually going downstairs to get warm milk so he could sleep better. He hadn’t done that
since he was about 10 years old.
Again, crawling out of bed, he opened his door and as quietly as he could, he
crept downstairs into the den. The kitchen was about 2 rooms over. As he began his
walk over there, an abrupt noise stopped him short. It wasn’t coming from upstairs...it
had to be down. Any noise heard from upstairs would have to be louder than that because
of the two stories. Making himself believe that it was the wind, he continued into the
kitchen. Kind of stumbling in the dark, he reached a countertop near the sink and directed
himself to the refrigerator. Again, he stopped in his tracks as he heard a rustling noise
behind him. “What the?...” he thought as he turned around. Sure enough, he could see a
person settling down at the kitchen table a few yards away. He breathed a sigh of relief
that it was a human being instead of a...well, whatever he thought it was. Using the
moonlight coming from the wall windows, he started to trace out a figure...yup, it was
Jessica. He would, ahem, know that figure anywhere.
He opened his mouth to call out her name, but instead shut it before any noise
could be heard. If she hadn’t turned around already, she must of not even noticed him.
And if he called out now, he had no idea what her reaction would be. Promptly guessing
that it would be screaming (since he regularly thought that girls did that on a daily
basis...well, at least with his experience), he didn’t think calling out would be a good
thing. It would probably wake up the whole house. Instead, as silently as he could
manage, he crept up behind her chair.
As soon as he got a good 2 centimeters away, he tapped her on the shoulder,
and immediately grabbed around her shoulders to her mouth, trying to stifle any sound
that bothered to come out. Good thing too, because the first instinct of Jessica’s was to
scream as loud as she could. Without the hand clamped over...she could’ve probably
woken up Canada.
“Shhh...it’s Taylor!” he whispered loudly in her ear, trying to calm her down.
Why wasn’t she stopping? Okay, so maybe it wasn’t the best thing to do...but he got to
touch her, right?
Upon hearing the name “Taylor,” Jessica immediately reached behind Taylor’s
head and pulled as hard as she could on his messed up ponytail, causing him to let go of
her mouth. Taylor almost yelped in pain, as he pulled back his hands to let go of hers
surrounding his blonde hair. When he did this, her hand immediately took his and flung
him around to the chair beside her. Taylor was shocked at the speed this happened,
seeming as if just about a second ago, he was standing up. He rubbed his side where it
had banged against the tabletop, and looked at the girl beside him.
“What’s up with your tearing the hair out of my head? I was just trying not to
scare you!” he retorted, a little embarrassed that she could have that much power over
him. Jessica was busy inhaling deep breaths, and rubbing her temples. She just shook her
head. Taylor sighed, and waited for her to calm down a bit. Once she did, she finally
noticed the too much leg factor she was putting on. She pulled her long legs under the
table out of eyes glance. Taylor noticed this but pretended not to.
“I thought...” she started, still breathing hard, “that you were someone else.
You know, like a robber or something? How could I have known it was you?” Taylor
looked confused. “I told you it was me before you tried to kill me!” he replied. “Well,
yeah! I had to get you back, some way!” she retorted, pushing her hair out of her face.
“Well, I didn’t mean to do it on purpose...I was just getting something to drink,” he said,
sorry now at his actions, “what are you doing down here?” Jessica looked up at him from
her hands, obviously now embarrassed herself. “Um...water. I needed water,” she told
him. Taylor raised his eyebrows and looked at the empty table. “Nice water...” he said
teasingly. Jessica just shot him a teasing look back. “Okay, fine,” she said, “I’m stalling.”
Taylor immediately grew confused. “For what?” he asked her. She looked at him out of
the corner of her eye. “You’ll make fun of me...no,” she muttered. “Oh, come on! I will
not. Now what can you possibly be stalling for in the middle of the night?”
Jessica again looked at him, and when he saw this, he set his head on his hand
and showed her a look of impatience. She in turn rolled her eyes, and said, “fine, I’ll tell
you. But you have to promise!” “Cross my heart and hope to die...” he muttered, “now
tell me. Please,” he added when he realized he was being rude.
Jessica bit her lip. “Okay,” she said, “I kinda have...um....well...” Taylor
motioned with his hand, telling her to spit it out. Jessica glared. Taylor then took his
hands and placed them down. “Sorry,” he mouthed. “Okay, don’t laugh but I kinda sorta
have this Internet guy that I really need to talk to tonight for some reason that you would
never understand so there,” she rushed out. Taylor just sat there, stunned at how many
words actually spewed out of that beautiful mouth. Well, actually it wasn’t that much. It
was just more than he had heard from her.
“Well, why would there be anything wrong with that?” he asked her,
remembering his milk, and walking to the fridge and opening the door. After grabbing the
container, he set it on the counter and looked back at her. She had taken her legs out
from under the table and was staring at him. “So...you think that’s okay? I mean,
everyone else always makes fun of me for having a relationship on the computer.” Taylor
grabbed a glass from a nearby cupboard. He actually thought this was pretty funny. I
mean, look who she was talking to? He might as well tell her that he was in the same
situation. But if even one person found out about his online connections, he would be in
deep trouble. Besides, that was how rumors usually started. By telling just one person.
So he decided to keep it quiet...for now.
Taylor finished getting his milk, and returned to the kitchen table where Jessica
still looked suprised. Taylor just grinned at her. “So what’s this guys name?” he asked.
“Man! That sounded WAY too jealous...” he thought, mentally kicking himself. Jessica
didn’t seem to notice, and just smiled. “Actually, that would be the weird part,” she
stated, twisting her hands in her lap. Taylor raised his brows. “And why would that be?”
he responded. Jessica sighed. “His name is...Taylor,” she said, nodding her head. Taylor
guessed she was embarrassed. It was a wonder to him how shy this girl was. Well, at
least she beat him by a mile.
“Wow, what a coincidence,” he said, taking a drink of the white liquid. Jessica
got up from the table then, and stretched. “Yeah, yeah,” she muttered, “well, guess what?
Your little scare wore me out, and I’m too tired to wait anymore.” Taylor pretended to be
offended. “Oh, so, what? You’re going to ditch me too?” Jessica grinned. “Who
knows?” she asked him, crossing the kitchen tile, “I mean, wouldn’t it be weird if Taylor
was you?” Taylor laughed. “I don’t think so,” he replied, picking up his glass again from
the table. Jessica stopped at the edge of the doorway of the kitchen. “Goodnight,” she
said, and about 2 seconds after, “JTH_77.” The only noise to be heard after that was
Taylor’s fumbling for his glass after it slipped from his grasp, and then the ear-piercing
thrill of it crashing down on the hard floor.
