Thoughts

Note: This was inspired/based on by the song 'All the Things She Said' by T.A.T.U.... I used some of the lyrics…hope you don't mind!

Frodo sat at the edge of his bed. He was incredibly nervous. Sam was coming to his house in an hour and Frodo was supposed to show him a good time. Ever since Tanta's party, and the two's confession for each other, they had been sneaking out with each other. But never was it at Bag End. Frodo was extremely nervous. This was starting to get deep. More than just a kiss here and a touch there, but it was becoming serious. 
	He pulled out his handkerchief and began to twist it into knots, the way his stomach felt. He loved Sam so much…but Sam was a lad. Frodo was supposed to like lasses. Frodo heard a knock at the door. He jumped. 
* Sam's early * he thought as he ran to the door. He twisted the handle and opened it. It was Merry.
	"Oh, Merry. I wasn't expecting you. Come in."
	"I was passing through, and I thought you could use some company…and I could use some food. Do you have any?"
	"Yes of course, help yourself." Frodo lead Merry into the kitchen and they helped themselves to some tea and biscuits. Merry finished off three cups of tea and four biscuits. He stopped mid-biscuit on the fifth one and set it down with a curious look on his face.
	"What is it Frodo?" Merry asked.
	"What are you talking about?"
	"What's wrong? You ate one biscuit and you look like you might throw the biscuit back up. What's on your mind?"
	"Nothing, Merry, I'm fine. Just not too hungry."
	"You are a rotten liar, Frodo. I am your cousin, you cannot hide anything from me." Merry froze and smirked, "Even Sam…" Frodo froze and looked at Merry. He had truly underestimated him. 
	"Does anyone else know?" Frodo asked gravely.
	"Of course not. I just know you very well, dear cousin!" Merry laughed.
	"What about Pippin?"
	"He's too young to pay any attention to that sort of thing."
	"Oh…" A silence fell about the room. Merry sat trying to get Frodo to look at him. Frodo stared at the tea in front of him and looked as if he wouldn't turn away if his life depended on it.
	"Is that the problem?" Merry pried.
	"Sam?" Frodo asked.
	"Yes." 
	"Well…I don't know-" Frodo blushed.
	"Frodo, you can't hide it. I'll find out eventually. Get it out now." Merry coaxed.
	"Alright…well its just…I don't know if Sam needs this."
	"What do you mean?"
	" I don't know if I want to get Sam involved in this." Frodo said quietly. Merry nodded. Frodo breathed heavily and then burst into tears. Merry ran over to him and wrapped his arms around him. Frodo continued through his sobs, "I'm in serious shit. I feel totally lost, Merry. I mean, when I'm with Sam it's so amazing. I try to ask myself 'Why?' and 'How?' and I try to close my eyes. But I can't block him out. I just want to take him away, where nobody cares and we can be who we are. We can be free. I know I can't do this to him in the Shire. They'll ruin Sam. I don't care about me. But Sam…" Frodo took a break to cry freely into Merry's arms.
	He eventually took a breath and continued, "And Sam's so young. He might not know what he wants. I know I want him, but further down the road…"
	"Oh, Frodo! Sam loves you! Didn't the kiss mean anything to you?" Frodo stopped crying to look confused.
	"You know about the kiss?" Frodo choked.
	"I saw you two. I followed after you got up so abruptly. I thought something was wrong…"
	"Oh…"
	"And what about all the things he's said? Haven't they meant anything to you?" Merry continued.
	"Yes, of course. They keep running through my head. I can't get them out. But Merry, I can't do that to him. I feel so cornered. I love him but they'll all say it's my fault…But I want it so much. I just wish I could take him away, where neither of us will be ashamed. Where we won't have to hide."
	"If he loves you Frodo, he won't mind. He'll do anything for you."
	"But they'd humiliate him. It doesn't worry me if they stopped and whispered at us. But what if Sam doesn't want to put up with that. I don't want him to put up with that."
	"But your feeling for him what he's feeling for you. Why should it matter, if you both love each other and feel the same way."
	"No, Merry. You're not getting it. I couldn't do that. I should break it off. I'll just pretend I don't love him. I can try to forget…" Merry looked at Frodo, as if he was expecting him to say what he said next
	"No, that wouldn't do. It'd drive me mad. Goodness, I think I'm going out of my head! But I love him…do you think I've crossed the line Merry?" Frodo wiped away his tears and looked at Merry helplessly. Merry's heart melted, nad his face grew into a sweet caring grin.
	"No, Frodo, not at all. I think you are two amazing hobbits. I hope you don't let anything get in the way of that. I will stand by you all the way." Merry replied softly and stood up. He walked to the door. Frodo trailed behind, exhausted from pouring his heart out. Merry put on his jacket and put his hand on Frodo's shoulder.
	"Goodbye, Frodo. It'll all be alright." Frodo nodded and Merry left. Frodo went and cleaned up the kitchen. He went to go smoke a pipe when he heard another knock at the door. He had totally forgotten about Sam! He ran to the door. He opened it to a smiling Sam. * Good ol' Sam * Frodo thought.
	"Hello, Frodo…" Sam said sweetly. Frodo lead Sam to his bedroom and all of Frodo's fears and thoughts melted away and it was just him and Sam. And that was alright.