Chapter 8

Questions of Immortality

 

                  Elrond grunted under the weight of the heavy beam.  Another pair of hands lessened the load a bit.  Together, they fit the beam into place.  Elrond let out a loud breath, stripping off the gloves from his blistered hands, to wipe his forehead.  He glanced up at the visitor.

                  “ Thank you, Glorfindel.”

Glorfindel shrugged, with a friendly smile.

“ Twould have been rude to let you be crushed,” Glorfindel paused, before going on, “ We are running low on meat.  I was wondering if you would like to ride out with me to find some more.”

Elrond looked up curiously.

                  “ Why me?”

Glorfindel shrugged.  Elrond shook his head, throwing his gloves harshly at the table.

                  “ Ereinion told you to.”

                  “ No, he did not.  I came on my own will,” Glorfindel quickly said.

                  “ Well, do you wish a prize now or later?” Elrond mumbled, turning back to look at the plans.

                  “ Why do you fear me?”

                  Elrond froze, closing his eyes.  Glorfindel stood beside him, glancing at the pained face.

                  “ You go out of your way to avoid me.  You refuse to speak to me unless you have to.  You ignore Ereinion and break every rule you can.  You are hurting him, not me.  It troubles me not what you do, but he is all the family you have left living with you.”

Elrond opened his eyes, glancing down at the plans, only to have them fade.  Elrond almost cursed.  Another vision.

                  Glorfindel looked curiously at is seemed Elrond’s gray eyes faded to white.  Glorfindel touched his shoulder, but that only made Elrond collapse.  Glorfindel lowered the Elf to the ground eyes wide open in fear.

                  “ Im boe nestadren elvellon (I need a healer),” he yelled to the ground below.

Glorfindel bent beside Elrond, feeling for a heartbeat.  Glorfindel finally gave up.

*I am no healer.  Why must it ever be a cruel joke to leave the maimed with me?

Celebrimbor joined Glorfindel, bending beside the Elf.  Celebrimbor shook his head.

                  “ I have never seen this.”

Glorfindel ran back to the edge.

                  “ I said, I need a healer, right NOW!!  Does anyone understand that?” he nearly screamed.

                  “ Who is it and how bad?” Ereinion called from the ground.

                  “ Tis the Peredhil, and you are no help to this.  I need a healer.  He just collapsed on me.”

Galadriel ran from her place nearby at a sewing circle.  Celeborn was also climbing up the ladder after Ereinion. 

                  Galadriel was the first beside Elrond, seeming to have flown up.

                  “ Dear, dear, boy, why must you see so well our doom?”

Glorfindel watched her close her eyes, hands hovering beside Elrond’s temples.  Her eyes flew back open a second later and she breathed in deeply. 

                  “ There is nothing we can do until he wakes.”

~*~

                  Elrond turned slowly, looking at the beautiful city.  He watched in disgust as orcs filed into it, defiling it with their feet.  Fire was lit to a Noldo workshop.  Elrond heard a loud clanking and turned, his eyes widening in horror.

*What in Arda…

He managed to remain calm as eyes, cold, unfeeling, hate filled eyes stared down at him.

~*~

                  Glorfindel was biting his nails, Ereinion noted.  The Elf must have picked up that habit in Gondolin.

                  “ He will be fine, right?  All I did was touch his shoulder.  I did not hurt him, and if I did, I did not mean to.  He is frail for a simple touch to knock him out.”

Ereinion clasped his shoulder.

                  “ Elrond is inclined to visions.  Your touch upset the fragile equilibrium his body has when it is transported to the future.  This has happened before.”

                  “ Twill haunt him all his life,” Galadriel said sadly, “ He is so young, and yet so old.  He saw far too much before he even came of age.  He was never really a child.  There were no free days in his life.”

                  Galadriel had placed Elrond’s head in her lap and was brushing his hair in a motherly gesture.  She looked up, directing her words at Celebrimbor.

                  “ Míriel sought to see more than she needed to.  She induced the visions somehow.  She saw your grandfather’s end and felt all the strength she had passed into him during his begetting.  She was consumed by that vision.”

                  “ Then Elrond seeks too much power,” Celebrimbor countered.

                  “ Nay, he cannot control them. I fear one day, he will be in the midst of danger when one comes upon him; and when he wakes, he shall be in Mandos.”

                  Ereinion’s face clouded and his hands clenched.

*Well, I will have to remind myself to thank her for that lovely picture.

                  “ When will be wake?  Is he dead?” Glorfindel asked worriedly.

                  “ I will wake whenever you stop trying to explain my visions,” Elrond’s smiling eyes turned up to Galadriel as he slowly sat up, “ Is the story of Míriel, Fëanor’s mother, true?”

                  “ Do I ever lie?”

Elrond was silent, looking down, before back up at her, almost like a little boy.  Galadriel breathed a smile, ruffling his already mussed long locks.  Elrond only blushed, ducking his head at the loving gesture, as he smoothed his hair.

                  “ I will forgive you for that, Elrond Peredhil, but that is only because I remember you as a child.”

                  Elrond sent her a tired impish grin with a slight showing of dimples.  He held out a hand to Glorfindel.

                  “ I hope I did not scare you too much.”

Glorfindel took it, helping him up with a loud sigh.

                  “ Twas a cruel joke to play.  I always happen to be the only one around when people like you need a healer.”

Elrond nodded, rubbing his head.

                  “ I believe I somewhat have figured out the message you should have brought.”

                  “ What is it?” Glorfindel asked.

Elrond shook his head.

                  “ I dare not speak it in the open,” his eyes turned discreetly to Galadriel, and then Celebrimbor, “ There are things some should not hear.”

~*~

                  The three had ridden out on what looked like a hunting party.  Elrond almost fell off the horse with a yawn.

                  “ What was my message?” Glorfindel asked.

Elrond sighed.

                  “ I believe evil is not all gone.  It is coming back.”

Ereinion shook his head.

                  “ I will differ with you on this, Elrond.  Who can assail us?  Morgoth is gone.  The Lords of the West are in control.  Who is there to end the peace?”

Elrond could not answer, though he remained troubled.  He never spoke of the matter again with Ereinion, until time deemed his visions truth.

~*~

                  Elrond rode beside the river Lhûn.  He dismounted at a quiet place with a smile and a book.  The hub-bub of normality had returned to Lindon.  More Elves kept swarming in, many only bands searching for a place to stay.  The river was lined on both sides, Ereinion’s haven crossing the river to be on either side.  There were no signs of trouble.  Elrond sighed, leaning against a tree.  He still could not find peace.  His thoughts turned to the river nearby and who farther along it.

*I miss you, brother.  I wish times were not so busy here.

~*~

                  Ereinion glanced at the familiar handwriting of a letter handed to him.  He smiled, turning in his chair.

                  “ Elrond.”

Elrond’s head snapped up from his desk in an adjoining room. Glorfindel had left days ago with a scouting party.  Ereinion held up the letter.  Elrond quickly snatched it, ripping it open.  Ereinion had to smile slightly at the enthusiasm.  Elrond’s smile faded drastically and he threw the letter down for Ereinion to read.  Ereinion glanced up at him, mostly confused.

                  “ Manwë has spoken again.  It looks as if Elros will have his wish.  They are sending him off to the Sea with a group of men,” Elrond’s eyes were hard, “ And Elros will rule them.  I can barely see him when he is but a day away.  How can this be?”

                  Ereinion scanned it hastily and then looked up.

                  “  Elrond.”

                  “ What?  Are you going to try and comfort me?  Tell me my brother is not that far away?  That I will see him and his children many times?”  Elrond’s brows rose, “ I believe the Edain are blessed.  They have no love for the Valar.”

                  “ Elrond Peredhil,” Ereinion stood, “ You will not say one word against the Valar.”

                  “ Why not?” Elrond challenged, “ I am half-elvin.  Tis in my blood to have little love for elvish things.”

                  “ Then why did you choose to be an Elf?”

                  Elrond was silent.  Ereinion closed the door before speaking again.

                  “ As long as you sit at my right hand, you will bless Eru.”

                  “ I said no ill of Eru.”

Ereinion caught Elrond’s manipulative words.  Ereinion put one finger in Elrond’s chest.

                  “ You do not know Elros’ full purpose.”  Elrond looked away, but Ereinion moved his own head so he met the half-elven’s eyes, “ Are you like Manwë?  Can you see all ends?  I think your sights are like tiny raindrops, insignificant, compared to Manwë’s ocean of vision.  Now go, sit down, and cool your thoughts.”

Elrond met Ereinion’s eyes with a hostile glare.  Ereinion crossed his arms forebodingly.  Elrond snatched up his letter, with a mock bow.  He turned, with sharp steps, sitting back down.  He turned his eyes to the Sea, playing with the letter.

                  That was the way Ereinion left him when he left for dinner.  Ereinion came back, yet Elrond had not moved, or seemed to not have moved.  The only change was that the younger scribbled on a piece of paper.

                  “ Elrond, get some rest,” Ereinion came over.

Elrond ignored him, biting on the edge of his stylus and staring straight at Ereinion vacantly.  Ereinion threw up his hands with a headshake.

                  “ Fine, fine.  I do not understand these mood swings, but I will be back tomorrow and I expect my chief of advisors to be back in mind and spirit.”

He only received a blank stare from Elrond.

~*~

                  Ereinion entered his study the next morning with a yawn.  He froze in mid-stretch, noting six pairs of eyes on him.

                  “ I am sorry.  Is there a council today?”

He took a seat, glancing over them, and counting twice with a sigh.  There was only six.  Where was Elrond?

                  Celeborn laid a piece of paper in front of Ereinion.  Ereinion waved at it, not bothering to read it.

                  “ What is it?”

Galadriel stood. It was obvious she had been crying.

                  “ Elrond left.  He believes his place is beside Elros and…” she paused, “ He will revoke his decision before Eönwë.”

Ereinion slumped back.

                  “ Fetch me a horse.”

                  “ My lord,” an advisor began.

                  “ Do not my lord me to death,” Ereinion stood, leaning over, “ Someone best fetch me a horse and have it waiting when I arrive at the stables.”

~*~

                  Elrond rode into the city.  He dismounted, unsure exactly how to find Elros.

                  “ Vardamir, know you not to wander?  Father has…” the woman trailed off.

Elrond’s jaw dropped.

                  “ Cienna?”

The years were upon her.  The woman shook her head.

                  “ Vardamir, do not play games.  You know I am not Mother.  Now, come on.”

Elrond shrugged.  It would get him to the house.

~*~

                  Elros was busily chastising his forgetful son, when he heard his daughter’s voice.  He looked up and froze.

                  “ What in all of Mandos?”

The Vardamir look-alike smiled.

                  “ What is this?” Elros demanded, “ Who are you?”

The man chuckled a little.

                  “ Le ú-isag enni, gwador-nin (You do not know me, my brother)?”

Elros’ eyes grew.

                  “ You… how…I just…” Elros embraced his brother.

                  Cienna entered and just stopped.

                  “ My word.”

Elros looked back at his children.

                  “ This is my brother, Elrond.”

                  “ Yeah,” Vardamir laughed a little, “ He is my age.”

                  “ In looks.  I am Elvish,” Elrond replied, haltering a little with his Westron.

Cienna hugged him.

                  “ You are always welcome here, Elrond.  We have missed your visits.”

                  “ I received a letter,” Elrond replied.

Elros nodded.

                  “ Shall we continue this in my study?”

                  Elros glanced back at his brother once the door shut.  Elrond sighed slightly, hating to see the years mar his brother’s youthfulness.

                  “ Why are you here?  You know I will be fine. Tis not too far they say.”

Elrond shook his head.

                  “ I did not come to see you off, Elros.  I am going with you.”

A smile spread across Elros’ face.

                  “ Ereinion is designating you as an ambassador or what?”

Elrond bit his lip, turning away.

                  “ Elrond, what are you not telling me?”

*I feel like a child being grilled by a guardian.

                  Elrond turned with a shrug, his words coming out fast.

                  “ I refuse to stay here, with you so far, so I am giving up my immortality.”

Elros turned, his face slightly confused, though he seemed to understand the gist of the jumbled words.

                  “ Why?  Why this?  Why now?”

                  “ I will not let you leave this land without me.”

                  Elros’ eyes twinkled, catching his brother’s eyes.  He drummed his lips. 

*Hmm… Vardamir runs when I am angry with him.  I wonder if it is the same here?

                  “ Someone is angry with you.”

Elrond sighed, looking out a window towards the large ship.

                  “ That is not the point.”

                  “ What did you do?” Elros asked, coming closer with a smile, “Ereinion is never angry with you.  You are his protégé.”

Elrond sent his brother a sheepish smile.

                  “ I have little love for the Valar and their messengers. I was upset and said it in front of Ereinion.”

Elros pursed his lips into an o with an ouch look.

                  “ I am surprised you still have your head,” Elros grinned a little, “ You do know that a bit of that Maia blood you hate so much, runs in our veins?”

                  “ Do not remind me,” Elrond glanced back at his brother, “ And do not try to convince me to leave.  I am not going back there.”

                  Elros shook his head.

*He has become as stubborn as an ass.

Elros poked a finger in his brother’s chest.

*Desperate men take desperate measures.  Especially those with Elvish brothers that are foolish sometimes.

                  “ You are not joining me or becoming Edain.  Understood?”

Elrond’s eyes hardened and he crossed his arms almost cockily.

                  “ I am not Vardamir.  Think you to be my father?”

                  “ Do I need to be, Elrond?  You are talking of throwing everything you love away, just because of a simple argument.”

                  “ You have never understood.”

                  “ Try me.”

The stare down began.

                  Cienna rushed in, her eyes wide.

                  “ Elros, I am sorry, but you need to come out here.”

Elros peeked around the door and a hearty grin spread over his face.  Ereinion stood in the hallway.

*Thank Eru he came.

Elrond was curious to see who the visitor was and peered over Elros’ head.  He ducked back, looking around the study for a place to hide.

                  “ Come out, Elrond Peredhil.  I have left Aeglos in Lindon, and my daggers in my travel bag.”

Elrond heard the steel in the king’s voice and feared that more than any weapon.

                  “ I am not coming back,” Elrond said as he exited the study, standing beside his brother.

                  “ May we talk?” Ereinion asked.

Elrond nodded.

                  “ Go ahead.”

Ereinion’s temper was quickly growing short.

                  “ Then come.”

                  “ I am not-”

                  “ By the Valar, get out of here, Elrond,” Elros exclaimed, pushing his brother and Ereinion out the door.

The two Elves glanced at each other.  Ereinion motioned and Elrond fell into step beside him silently.

                  “ I have never seen Galadriel so upset,” Ereinion said softly.

                  “ Then why did she not come?”

                  “ Because I was afraid you would act like this to her.  I do not understand your childishness as of late.”

                  “ Childishness?” Elrond looked up sharply, “ You call my devotion to my brother childish?”

                  “ I call your actions and words pertaining to it childish.  You shut yourself off, ignore those that want to help you, and then run off.  That is childish.”

Elrond did not answer, his mouth set in a firm line.

                  “ So have you come to beg me to return?”

Ereinion shook his head.

                  “ No.”

Elrond’s head swung around in surprise.

                  “ Pardon?”

Ereinion glanced at him, concealing well the fact these words were hard to utter, knowing he could lose his last relative and closest friend with them.

                  “ Elrond, if your choice is with Elros, then so be it.  I will not beg or plead or appeal to your ego for you to come back.  It is your decision.  You passed your first half-century many years ago.  What I am doing, is saying that if you leave with Elros, you can never come back to Lindon.  You will be banned from the Elves, for you are a traitor to them.”

                  “ Now wait just-”

Ereinion held up his hand.  Elrond glanced up, noting they had come in a full circle.

                  “ I am staying just outside of the city.  I leave when the ship departs.  If you join me, fine, you will be reinstated to my council and all will be as it was before.  If you do not join me, then I know your choice, and all will still be well,” Ereinion clasped Elrond’s shoulder, “ You are not the only person that is hurt or torn from their family.  Anar and Ithil do not revolve around you.”

The king turned to his horse, mounting, and then was gone.  Elrond rubbed his forehead. 

                  Elros found him by the Sea, staring vacantly at it.

*You have mortally wounded him, brother.

Elrond turned his head away.

*He has six other councilors to support him. I am but a meaningless son of Eärendil.

*If we were that, he would not have searched so long and hard for us.  Elros reminded.

Elrond shrugged.  Elros shook his head, sitting beside his brother.

*No one is meaningless, no matter how much they believe or think it.  There is always meaning to a life.

Elros touched his unresponsive brother’s shoulder.

*One life touches so many others.  You do not know what the future holds yet.  Please hold to your original decision.

Elrond shook his head, facing his brother.  Elros was surprised at the tears.

*We will not be sundered.

~*~

                  Ereinion sat, looking up at the stars, his mind wishing it could just stop thinking.  He had been burdened the last few days with the decision-making to come.  He sighed, playing with his hands. His eyes turned to the ship rising and falling with the waves underneath it, and then sighed again.  He leaned back, his heart heavy.

*I will be leaving alone.  Elrond will not let go of his convictions.

~*~

                  Elrond watched the ship also from his room window.  He could not sleep.  His mind wrestled with the decision that tomorrow set before him.

*Can I really give up immortality?

He sighed, beginning to play with his hands, and then stilled them as quickly as he had begun.

*Tis an Ereinion habit; playing with my hands or keeping them busy while thinking.

He instead began chewing rapidly on his bottom lip as the thoughts flew.

                  Elros watched his brother.

                  “ Minë, please go to Ereinion.  Just do this one thing for me, please?”

Elros sat beside him.  Elrond looked up, honesty shining in his eyes.

                  “ I do not think I can face him now.  All that I have said.”

                  “ Then you do wish to go back?” Elros’ face brightened.

                  “ Aye, but I cannot.  I gave up that life.”

                  “ Even Anar begins anew each day.”

Elrond shook his head.

                  “ My place is with you.”

                  “ Your place is beside your king.”

                  “You are my king.”

                  Elros took a deep breath.  It was time to breech this subject.

                  “ What about death, Elrond?  Can you handle the thought of being removed from here?  You will find it bitter, Elrond.  This Edain life is not for you.  I grew up in it.  You grew up, immersing yourself so in books and herbs, it is a miracle in itself that you are not one,” Elros clasped his brother’s shoulder, “ Please, Elrond, find the strength to face him.  Please do not choose my fate.”

~*~

                  Ereinion watched the boarding of the ship.  He sighed.  There were two of them.  One looked up at the hill towards him and raised his hand in a parting gesture.  Ereinion returned it, his shoulders falling.  And as he watched the boat set sail.  His heart fell even further. 

*I should have left days ago.  This was a waste.  He was not going to come back.