Lacking a given chance, I'll explain my situation to you now. For a good while now, you've been the only one I use MSN to speak with. Now and then, a few other friends will pop up and we'll talk a bit, but mainly it's just been you and I. Rewinding to a farther point, when I had more people I was speaking to on MSN, we'd mostly all reply slowly. Sometimes I'd wait thirty, even forty minutes for a response, but there would be times when they'd wait just as long for me. A lot of my friends are growing up, or for whatever other reasons, just unable to come on much anymore, if at all. I've always been sad about it, but talking to you is fun and brightens me up. I'm slow at multitasking, but with my ignoring my ex-best friend Dar and his ignoring me, and with Jade never on, it was always easy to reply seconds after you'd post a message. Now, I have one other person I talk to here.. and it's slowed me down, I know. But there isn't much I can do about it.
Sometimes I'll be faster than other times, and others, slower. I'll always try my best to be fair, but with surfing the web and chatting with multiple people, it can be a bit of an obstacle. As a hobby, I'm always out exploring and collecting music, icons, and pictures -- it's a pasttime I've liked for years. But now I've got a thread I post in, roleplaying, and regular conversing, too... For me, it's a lot to do. I just want you to understand that I'm not perfect, but I would never want to see my friends feeling ignored, jealous, angry, or sad. I feel down when my close friends feel down. With that, there's no way I'd ever try or approve of my actions making another feel bad. Hao and I are already tighter than a knot, and we have plans of many things we're going to do -- including spending time together in Japan this winter. I'll be spending time with him as a girlfriend who loves her boyfriend. This will and has not stolen the time I'll forever give to you as a best friend.
Having a boyfriend is simply a part of life, and a part of growing up. But it's only the beginning. There is a high probability that I will only be able to speak to my online friends on weekends once school starts up again. I always procrastinated and went online to have fun before doing work, due to the timezones of my companions, and my laziness. But now, I have a serious need of improving my grades and to work as hard as I can before having fun. I must get at least Cs, preferrably higher, to visit Hao in Japan as well. Emailing is a way of communication I will probably start to rely on. I need you to be aware of this future change. It's going to be hell for me, but we'll all have to adjust. I hope this letter gives you a different view to observe on the situation. Thanks for reading it.
Love and miss you.
Amy
