Child walks down to the river's edge

& looks out as far as she can see

& draws each breath as if it were the last

& wipes away the tears across her sleeve

She can see where the river crawls to the sea

Like a baby into mothers care

Some how the longing is so far away

The innocence so wasted & aware

& look at the child with the dream in her eyes

holding it deep inside her

Thinking about home...

Home...

So much anger so deeply ingrained

seemed a burden that was hers alone

She didn't think that there was anything wrong

with wanting a life that she could call her own...

How could I explain?

You would not want to hear

You wouldn't listen if I talked anyway

For you were too weighed down by your own fears

Look at the child with the dream in her eyes

holding it deep inside her...

Home...

home...

(Home by Sarah McLachlan)

The air was thick and still, storm clouds hanging low over the treetops. The jungle itself was oddly still around the little camp save for the muffled grunts and groans that came from the depths of one thatched hut. Two pelted women emerged from the hut carrying bloody rags and bowls of pinkish water. A lone man watched them with a deep scowl on his face. He was undoubtedly handsome with straight black hair, chestnut eyes and richly bronzed skin. The slender line of a scar curved from just above his right eyebrow over the eye and across the cheekbone. He was tall, the lean muscles that corded his body only enhancing the impression of power ... but it was the anger in his face that was most intimidating. A woman of almost equal height to the man emerged from the hut, her black hair thick and curling in a wild mane, her skin black as molasses.

It was then that he heard the growling squeaks of his daughter. Kimah held two bundles in her long arms but only one was moving ... only one making any sounds and the Taharian mans eyes flashed. He took the live child and looked it over with a dissatisfied frown.

"A girl. Name it Sefia."

His words were cold and clipped, a girl was nothing to him and he turned to the still bundle... Kimah did not want to give it to him but he took it nonetheless and unbound it. His son, a beautiful baby with a head full of hair, lay dead and cold in the wrappings. His umbilical cord had clearly been wrapped around the throat and had strangled him on his journey into life. The man handed the child back, covering the face lovingly and turned, walking into the hut to confront his mate. The words they exchanged were never shared with the pack but they all knew he had berated her for only being able to give him a live daughter. He blamed her for the boys death and cursed her. That much they knew. He was gone before dawn, traveling back to his home in the Tahari and leaving his daughter with a mother who now hated her and blamed her for the loss of the only man she had ever loved.

Migaela wasted no time in beginning the regimen of cruelty her daughter would have to endure. She refused to nurse the child and it was left to Kimah, who had an infant of her own, to feed the tiny girl. Once weaned and returned to Migaela, Sefia recieved no affection. From the moment she could stand she was made to work. At the age of three her mother placed a dagger in the childs hand and made her cut a captured mans throat. A few months later another daughter was born to Migaela and Sefia watched as her mother nurtured little Tila and treated her with surprising kindness. Whatever maternal instinct Tila brought out in her mother did not spill over to Sefia, however. Sefia began to receive cruel and merciless lashings with a kurt at the hand of Migaela and if any of the other Talunas dared to intervene Sefia would only receive more punishment in the form of heavy work.

At five a son was born to Migaela and Sefia watched as the boy was given to his father... Sefia begged the man to take her too, fat tears rolling down her cheeks as he, too, turned his back on her and disappeared. That day she hid, knowing her mother would whip her severely for daring to try to get away... and she did. When Migaela found Sefia late that night she whipped the child so badly Sefia passed out. It was nearly a hand before she was well enough to work again and when she could Migaela made her make up for the lost time... hardly feeding her and giving her almost no rest. Hatred began to grow in the girl as another girl was born to Migaela and she, too, was given more kindness then Sefia would ever know in the Jungles.

Two more pain and horror filled years passed before another girl was born... Sefia no longer kept track of the names of her sisters, she relished the work her mother forced on her and used the time to train herself... to grow strong. Kimah began to secretly teach the little girl, teaching her to read and write. When Migaela found out she enslaved her former pack sister and sold her and Kimah's two daughters.

At age ten Migaela began to teach Sefia to use a bow, for hunting of course. That year a boy was born to Migaela as well and was sold, almost as soon as Migaela was healed, into slavery. The whippings continued and a new threat was laid upon the child.... the threat of slavery. Migaela told Sefia on a regular basis that she would become a slave when she was old enough. Sixteen, she said, would be when Migaela would finally profit from the stupid child she'd birthed. Nine months later another boy was born and, again, sold away into slavery. Sefia felt her hatred boiling up inside her and forced herself to focus only on survival. It was another three years until the last straw would be laid upon the child... During those horrible years she was forced to witness killings... forced to commit two herself... and then he was born.

A beautiful, perfect little boy that Sefia called Javan. Her mother, however, didn't bother to name the baby. She bashed the poor infants head in with a rock only hours after his birth in front of Sefia's eyes. Rage flooded the young woman and she lunged at her mother, driving a skinning knife deep into Migaela's eye. Sefia screamed out the years of pent up hatred, let it flood through her like the power of the Priest Kings as she blinded her mother and slashed at her once beautiful face... at some point Sefia came out of the fog of rage to find herself cuddling her dead infant brother and rocking back and forth on the banks of the Kamba River. She laid her bother down, then, and dug a grave for him... laying him lovingly within and covering him with flowers and leaves before shoveling the soil over him. She built a small cairn over him and curled up there for a while.

At dawn she left. Not thinking or planning, she simply walked. For more then a hand she wandered north in the jungle, eating only what she found along the way... not even hunting. She slept in the open, the rain chilling her at night and yet she pushed on. When, one day, the jungle gave way to vast, open plains she stood in awe and watched the wind ripple over the grasses. She looked behind her at the jungles of pain and loneliness and then out before her at the plains that offered some strange hope for her. There was nothing to think about, she would go.

Over the plains she walked, the sun scorching her body with every step. Sometime later she found herself on the Genesian Road, still alone but at least she was free of pain. She wandered the road with growing hope and joy at her freedom, helping a merchant to earn a pair of leathers, boots and shirt. He even took enough pity on the girl to feed her until they reached Brundisium.

The city was strange to her and she stayed outside it only watching as people came and went from it in long caravans or small traveling parties. She did not linger long, taking to the coast where she could watch mighty ships sailing on the Thassa and a new hope sprang to life in her heart... the hope of finding her brother and the pirate who had fathered and taken him. Why she thought he might accept her now was never even a question in her mind, she only knew she wanted to find him. And so she began traveling the coast, asking after them though she did not know their names.

It was in this way that she found herself traveling around the Vosk Delta, her heart lifted and full of hope and her body, for once, healed. It was here while resting at a hotspring that her life, again, changed. A man and a Panther Girl were circling another woman... Sefia watched and commented quietly to herself. Somehow she drew the attention of the man, a Pirate. He asked about her family and offered to take her in as her guardian. Having never been shown any real attention, she leapt at the chance and found a loving family. She took the name of her guardian and began the transformation, studying anything she could get her hands on to learn about life as the daughter of a Pirate. There was nothing that she did not want to learn, nothing that she would not have done for her new family. Her loyalty ran deep and her love overflowed from a starved heart. She would gladly have died for� them. But it was not to be.

She has left the home where she was shown love and tenderness for the first time and travels again. First in the care of another Pirate Captain and dear friend, Captain "Jae" Jarkarra, then with a rogue who had caught her eye and her heart. He taught her well. Now very much grown up, she will be forever loyal to those who have shown her friendship and loyalty and will never forget the family that once took her in...