Feed Her to the Balrog
‘Feed Her To The Balrog’ by He Who Hunts
(‘Walk Through Fire’ by Joss Whedon)
Assassin #1:
I read the fic, and it kills my brain
I look at the grammar, and it's gone
Why can I see?
My eyes should die and wither
I got to find a Balrog
Now, through the smoke, it calls to me
To make my way across the mines
To help it feed
Or maybe incinerate
I guess it's all the same
So I will
Feed her to the Balrog
'Cause to whom else can I turn?
I will
Feed her to the Balrog
And let it...
Assassin #2:
The Canon Analyzer I bear is deafening me
Candie’s laughing, I've no doubt
I hope she fries,
I'm free if that Sue dies
I better stalk her down
'Cause she is
Meant to feed the Balrog
Some authors...
Assassins #1 and #2:
They will never learn
And she will
Be brought to the Balrog
and let it...
Officials:
Will this be enough to kill her?
Am I leaving the canon in danger?
Is my assassin too insane to care?
What if the Balrog can't stomach it?
Beady eyes is right, Ungoliant's needed
Or we could just sit around in pots
We'll
See it through
It's what we're
Never here to do
So we will
Find Ungoliant
Mary Sue:
So one by one, they stalk me down
I guess that they can't face the fact
Why can't they see?
Everyone should love me,
And not one among them knows
That I really wanna beg
Official:
She came from the First Age much bigger
Mary Sue:
One by one, they come for me
Assassin #2:
First, he’ll eat her, then I’ll kill her
Official:
Everything is turning out so dark
Assassin #1:
Going through the charges
Assassin #2:
No, I’ll kill her, then he'll eat her
Officials:
I think this line is mostly filler
What's it going to take to stomach that Sue?
It's the disease they have inside
Mary Sue:
They will come for me
Assassins #1 and #2:
These endless badfics
Are finally ending in a blaze
Officials and Assassins:
And we have
Fed her to the Balrog
We hope that the poor thing isn't sick
And we have
Fed her to the Balrog
And let it burn her
Let it burn her
Let it burn her
And let it burn her!
back