*~*~*~*~*~*
Mom: "You should play megabucks, powerball is too popular."
Me: "The only people that play megabucks are wellfare cases and crackheads."
Mom: "What?? How do you figure that?"
Me: "Yeah, welfare people so they won't be on welfare or so that if they win they can still sit around and do nothing and crackheads so that if they win they have the money to buy their crack."
Mom: *shakes head* "Don't talk like that..."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Ryan: *drawing stick people*
Me: "Why are his legs so thick and the other ones aren't?"
Ryan: "Duh, this one is wearing pants."
Me: "So the other one is naked?"
Ryan: "Well he DOES have a briefcase."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Me: "Nicole, having sex outside instead of inside is NOT what Earth Day is all about."
*~*~*~*~*~*
*Me, Kir, and Mo are walking down the Swansea Mall. I stop to get a pretzel.*
Guy at Auntie Annies: "Can I help you?"
Me: "Yes, I'd like a pretzel..."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Some weird kid at the drama competition: "Excuse me, do you have any Italian in you?"
Me: "Noooo, why?"
Kid: "Would you like some?"
*~*~*~*~*~*
*Me and Amanda were walking down a dirt path at a baseball game*
Amanda: *screams* "I just saw my hair and I thought it was an animal driving by me...a cat!!!"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Amanda: "Please leave your nut handling at home, there are ladies present."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Monique: "Kirsten, do you have mad cow disease cuz you're acting like a dying cow."
*~*~*~*~*~*
*Me, Kirsten, and Mo are at Blockbuster for like an hour looking for a movie. We finally find the one we want and go to the front desk.*
Guy: "Do you have your Blockbuster card?"
Me: "No, I don't have one, could I get one though?"
Guy: "Do you have a drivers lisence and a major credit card?"
Me: "I have a drivers lisence but not a credit card."
Guy: "Oh, well do you have a phone bill then?"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Mrs. Forcier to me and Nolan as we leave the house: "Now no making babies."
*~*~*~*~*~*
*while sitting in the Hudson Bay waiting for the cruise to start.*
Nicole: "Is this Pearl Harbor?"
Jessica (about 1/2 hour later): "Isn't pearl harbor a war?"
*~*~*~*~*~*
*sitting at Nolan's soccer game, Mrs. Forcier and some other moms were talking about how they would be afraid to be a goalie.*
Adam's(?) mom: "I would have to wear Depends or it wouldn't be a pretty sight."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Shawn: "It was so funny that I laughed like a crazy clown at a bozo circus."
*~*~*~*~*~*
*After waiting about 15 min. for buffalo wings Arlene asks the salad bar girl of they are almost ready.*
Me: "Are they coming?"
Arlene: "Yeah, and so is Christmas."
*note: it was the middle of the summer
*~*~*~*~*~*
Bluelight: "If I were a lima bean where would I be?"
*the funny thing is we don't even have lima beans at McGoverns, there is no such thing as a lima bean at McGoverns Rest.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Mom: "If you brought home a 22 year old your ass would be grass."
Dad: *pointing to my mom* "And she'd be the lawnmower!"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Mom: "Are you getting Nolan a bootinier?"
Me: "A bootinier?!? I'm not gettin him a bootinier, I'll give him a boot in the ear but I'm not getting him a bootinier."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Monique on the NY trip: "Wanna rub my latex?"
*~*~*~*~*~*
*My french book is covered in a Victoria's Secret bag*
Me: "Ivan, don't you think my french book is sexy? You want it don't you?"
Ivan: "I do want it real bad....I forgot mine."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Monique: "I'm such a camel!"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Nolan: *in a sexual whisper* "Ohhh Jenn, You make me so erratic."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Me: "Nolan, your such a boy."
Nolan: "No, no, It's all man here."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Nicole: "Does it make your wang tang?"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Munroe: "I'm gonna evict you from my desk!"
Kirsten: "NO! NO!"
Munroe (pushes Kir away): "Beep! Beep! Beep! Don't worry, I'll bring you back. You're just going on a little trip."
*~*~*~*~*~*
*I go into Mo's bathroom to change out of pajamas, coming back into Mo's room after only changing my pants...*
Me: "You know what I just thought of? What if my name was Rica Suave...not Rico Suave, because that's a boy's name."
Mo: "Did you stop changing just to tell us that?"
Me: "Yeah." *goes back to bathroom*
*~*~*~*~*~*
*me holding a flower Timmy-poo gave me up to Mo's nose* "Wanna smell my bagel?"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Rachael: "You should buy Ryan a pansie."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Mallory at Dunkin Donuts: "Hey, can I have an egg and cheese crissonwhich please?"
Guy: "yeah sure." *after standing near the microwave for a few minutes he comes back over.* "We only have spinach and pizza omwhiches."
Mal: "Yeah I asked for a crissonwhich not an omwhich."
Guy: "yeah we only have pizza and spinach."
Mal: "No, on a crissont."
Guy: "Ohhhhhh"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Danny: "I have an eating disorder." *smears icecream on the side of his face.*
*~*~*~*~*~*
Kirsten: "Look at Coral, she's pactically naked."
Me: *looks* "Oh man" *a few minutes later* "I feel clostrophobic."
Kirsten: "You mean trashtaphobic?"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Monique: "My eye hurts. Look at it, see? It hurts."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Andy C.: "I almost just had a heart attack, or a concussion, or a seisure, or a tumor, or hemoraging or something!"
*~*~*~*~*~*
My aunty Shelly: "I wouldn't give her a moldy bread crumb off a moldy piece of bread crust!"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Me: "They call me fast Jack!"
Alison: "They should call you cracker Jack."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Ryan LePage: "Hey baby, do you a a pencil?"
Johnny Castano: "No pappy, I don't."
*~*~*~*~*~*
*in the middle of singing a song Nolan looks over at me*
Nolan: "I know a lot of people." *turns around and goes back to singing*
*~*~*~*~*~*
Kirsten: "Monique is going to the senior prom with Brett!"
Manny: "Brett, Brett...ohhhh the sweater kid?"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Kirsten: "Mr. DeSousa, how do you say ditto in french?"
Mr. DeSousa: "huh? ditto??"
Me: "Ya know, like if I said I think Kirsten smells and Monique says ditto."
*Monique yells out ditto*
Mr. DeSousa: *looks at Kirsten* "Ohhhhhh ditto..."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Nicole: *pronouncing all the silent letters* "One WeDnesday in FebRuary I ate bologna. (pronounced bowlogggnaa)"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Nolan: "What time is it."
Me: "20 of 1:30."
*~*~*~*~*~*
*playing rock, paper scissors with Kevin at work.*
Kevin: *loses with rock to paper* "Oh man, I lost with ball, oh wait, there is no ball...ROCK!! I lost with rock!!!"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Nicole: "Tim is very humpafull."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Monique: "No hanky panky now."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Manny: "Roman detective? What the hell is a roman detective? The romans didn't have detectives."
*~*~*~*~*~*
*this is Cindy's first time ever going out to eat for breakfast*
Nicole: "Mmmmm, I'm getting spicy homefries."
Cindy: "Homefries? What's a homefry?"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Me: "That's some goooood hydroplaning."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Mason: "If you guys put these papers into plastic sleeves I'll give you candy."
*after about 10 min. of putting papers into sleeves*
Me: "My, God. This is like work they make children do in sweat shops in China."
Mason: *in funny accent* "You do work, you get candy."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Me: "What time did you get home from work?"
Nolan: "I don't know, I don't have my watch on anymore, I took it off when I got home."
Me: "You need your watch on to know what time you got home?"
Nolan: "Yeah, it helps me remember."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Me: "I have to finish reading my book for english for Wednesday."
Nolan: "Oh, The Tribes?"
Me: "The Tribes?? What is that?? You mean The Things They Carried?"
Nolan: "Ohhh yeah, I knew it had T’s in it."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Nolan: *once again singing* "Who invented coat hangers? I mean a triangle with a twist at the top."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Me: "I can’t breath good cuz I laughed a lot before."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Mason: "I love tech ed yes I do, I love tech ed how 'bout you?"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Marylou: *walks up to Arlene* "Wanna be a prostitute with me?" *walks away*
*~*~*~*~*~*
*Kirsten sighs*
Me: "Whats the matter?"
Kirsten: "I'm hot cuz I was working in the garden."
*~*~*~*~*~*
*In line at McGovern’s, picking out pastry*
Monique: “This pastry is so fun!”
Me: “I know!”
Remy (Nolan’s cousin): “Now, ladies, what classifies a pastry as fun? *to person behind him* These ladies say pastry is fun, and I’m asking them constitutes fun pastry!”
Mo: “Well, they’re fun to pick out.”
Remy: “Ohhhh, like this one?” *picks up cupcake with chocolate pieces sticking out*
Mo: “Yeah, see that one has wings!”
Remy: “Oh yeah! It does! Like it can fly!!! *pretends he’s going to throw the cupcake and lunges forward* Ha! It looks like it’s gonna hit somebody in the head! *inspects cupcake further* Woah! It really does have wings! Like a maxi pad!” *takes cupcake to his seat*
*10 minutes later*
Me from my seat: “Hey Remy, how’s that cupcake?”
Remy: *Holds up uneaten cupcake* “I’m petrified of it, quite frankly! Hey, you want it? Extra protection!”
*Later* Remy (to Nolan): “Hey Nolan, look at this cupcake! It’s got wings like a maxi pad! *they examine the red jelly between the “wings”*
Nolan: “Oh, yeah! It’s doing a great protecting already!”
*~*~*~*~*~*
Nicole: "That was so funny it made me fart!"
*~*~*~*~*~*
*I am walking by Monica holding a side of gravy.*
Me: *singing* "I have a side of gravy..."
Monica: "What?!?!?"
Me: "...I have a side of gravy..."
Monica: "Ohhhh, I thought you said you were having Sipher's baby! I was like woah Jenn."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Me: "My mouth says what my brain hears."
*~*~*~*~*~*
*talking to Brach Anderson online*
Brach: "Talk to Hollie and set up some times. Ok, well I have to go, bye."
Me: "Ok I will."
Brach:"Thanks"
Me: "Later!"
Brach: "Yes, later" *a few minutes later* "Take care and as you say LATER!"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Me: "I'll e-mail an ambulance!"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Ryan: "Dick Van Dyke, haha. Dyke dyke dyke. His last name is dyke!!!!! God dammit! That's like my name being Ryan Lesbian!"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Nolan's Pepere: "You have nice mirrors, they're oblong."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Nolan: "I was talking to my Joel, wait, oh, I mean my brother, Joel."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Grandma: "Up your bum with bubble gum, up your ass with bubble gas."
*~*~*~*~*~*
*Me, Nolan, and Tim Moresette are at Dunkin Donuts, me and Tim are looking at a bagel poster.*
Tim: "I used to think that the stuff in the middle of the bagel was frosting and I was like nice then I found out it was cheese and I was like gross."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Nolan: "Joel, you stink. Did you take a shower today?"
Joel: "No, I took two yesterday so I don't have to take one today."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Me: "For a week before school starts I have to practice going to bed early."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Joel: "Mom, I've been farting all day, what's wrong with me?"
*~*~*~*~*~*
*Me and my mom got into a huge fight. Right after that we were watching tv and a commercial for beans comes on.*
Mom: "That's what you need. Get some beans and fart yourself right out of the house cuz I don't wanna look at you right now!"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Me: "Peace out home slice."
Derrick: "Bye wheat bread."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Memere: *in cranky nagging voice* "What hand are you?"
My lil' cuz: "Right"
Mem: "Then switch your fork and knife around. They are in the wrong hands."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Me: "Let's go to isle 4, there's no line."
My Aunty Lindia: "No, thats express, we have more then 15 items. Let's go to Mr. 7!!"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Nicole: "God, there's so many retards at the mall today."
Me: *in a retard voice* "It's retard day at the mall haaaa."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Me: "Ryan where is your mom driving a school bus in the summer?"
Ryan: "I dunno, some school for retarded spanish kids in New Bedford...haha a retarded spanish kid summer school!! That's so funny!!!"*cracks up and laughs for like 10 min.*
*~*~*~*~*~*
Amanda: "Ewww, That guy was picksing his nose!"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Joel: "Say tinkie winkie dinky do!"
*~*~*~*~*~*
*me and my mom were in Sears looking at prom dresses*
Mom: *holding up a pink dress* "You would look like citronella...oh wait what was her name...Cinderella!! thats it!!"
*~*~*~*~*~*
*Me and Nicole are driving down the street and we see some kid on a bike.*
Nicole: "Hey! That kid was in my Drivers Ed class. His name is Ricky Ricardo! Oh wait, uhhh I dunno something like that."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Amanda: "Whats that on your, am I drooling?"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Nolan: "Woah! Your so smooth!"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Nicole: "Did you just blow snart on my rice?"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Nicole: *Tells this 10 min. story about how when she was little she stole a bottle of nail polish and her mom made her bring it back.* "Wait, maybe that didn't happen to me...it could have been a dream or a tv show. Now I wonder if that really did happen."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Joey (the singer in Nolans band): "It looks like your trying to make-out with a shark and its not working!"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Derrick: *tells me there are about 20 moths in his window* *5 min. later* "Its like their having a moth orgy! Their all over each other! It looks so cool, yet so gross, but more cool." *1/2 hour later* "Oh my, moths...I never knew they could be so dirty and scandelous." *5 min later* "Ooooo, they've invited a ladybug to the window!"
*~*~*~~*~*~*
*at Steubenville in the girls tent*
Michelle: "It smells like men's cologne.
Scott Silvias sister Jen: "That's me!! Womans deoderant isn't strong enough for me so I use mans deoderant!"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Me: "Ugg, I need tranquilizers!"
Nolan: "Jenn, you always make up stupid words for stuff."
Me: "Nolan, tranquilizers is a word."
Nolan: "Ohh, yeah...shut-up!."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Mrs. Forcier: "HA! I'm just razzing on ya!"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Grandma: "Last night I got all bit up by misquities." *looks at the dog* "What are you laughing at?"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Andrea: "Never go out with a band geek. They make you be the man."
*~*~*~~*~*~*
Nicole: "I hate when jelly won't spread!" *talking to the jelly on her sandwhich* "Spread damn you spread!"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Derrick: " Yo, me and my peeps... we be up in my crib.. you knows, chillin, kickin it old school... you gots da dilly my nizzle. Hell yeah shizznle, yo nizzle be up in my piece. Just kick the 40 to the curb and we be chillin."
*~*~*~*~*~*
*in Newport*
Amanda: "I tripped three times today. Twice on the sidewalk and once on a monkey."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Billy: *to Nicole* "This is the first time I've ever seen you with clothes on."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Nolan: "My you have bubbly handwriting."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Mr. Forrest: "Have you ever had that razzleberry burst icecream? It's like a sin, I feel like I need to go to church after I eat it."
*~*~*~*~*~*
*I'm telling Mo's mom the story of how Mo kinda hooked me and Nolan up*
Mrs. Teves: "Ahhh Monique, my daughter. Oh how I love her. She's such a good girl."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Amanda: *talking about her dad* "...asshole on parade."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Nolan: *laughs for about 10 minutes at something totally not funny* "Ahhh, that makes me laugh."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Mrs. Forcier: "Don't make me call you it Joel...your a...BUBBLENOSE!!!" *laughs for about 5 min.*
*~*~*~*~*~*
Andrea: "My mom gets mad at me when I poop. She doesn't like it."
*~*~*~*~*~*
*Nolans eating pudding and holding his spoon funny.*
Me: "Nolan, stop holding your spoon like a caveman."
Nolan: *shoves a big bite of pudding in his mouth* *in caveman voice* "Mmmm...pudding good. Me caveman. Me like pudding." *makes caveman noises for a few minutes*
*~*~*~*~*~*
*Amanda is teling a story about how when she babysat she tried to cook something and substituted one thing.*
Amanda: "...Low and behold, crap in a bowl!"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Amanda: *Throws a tac at me* "I'm atTACking you!HA!"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Ms. Dupre: "Oh crapadoodle"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Me: "I'm just going to look out the window at the fall day. Ahhh, whats a lovely spring day."
*~*~*~*~*~*
*My neighbor and my grandpappy are talkin about singing.*
Ed (my neighbor): "Did you ever sing in the choir?"
Grandpa: "Choir??! What the hell do I look like? I sang in a bar once though..."
*~*~*~*~*~*
*My dad,uncle, and their cuz are playing guitar*
1/2 drunk grandma: "Can you play that song, Bad Room Right?"
My Daddio: "You mean Bad Moon Rising?"
Gram: "Yeahhhh, thats one one, *singing* 'I see a bathroom on the right....'*stops singing* Something like that right?"
*everyone laughed*
*~*~*~*~*~*
*Me, Amanda, Nicky, and Jess are going to the mall. Amanda and Nicky are going in one car and me and Jess are in another.*
Amanda: "We're gonna leave now. I hafta get gas. We'll meet up with you in a few minutes."
*I fart and it stinks up the house*
My Mom: "Dammmnnn! Nevermind Amanda, just have Jenn fart into your tank. She's packin enough gas to get you to New York and back!"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Nolan: "Once I broke my arm and to take that pain away I punched myself in the face and broke my nose and to take away that pain I broke my foot and to take that pain away I broke my other foot and to take that pain away I had someone kick me in the chin and to take that pain away I broke my other arm...."
*~*~*~*~*~*
*I call Nolans house*
Mrs. Forcier: "Hello?"
Me: "Hi, is Nolan there?"
Mrs. Forcier: "No, he broke a jar. He'll call you later."*hangs up*
*~*~*~*~*~*
Amanda: "Your sudden infatuation with my body is becomeing ridiculous!!"
*later on that day*
Amanda: "Alright! Now your infatuation has become down-right disturbing!!"
*~*~*~*~*~*
*sitting in a rest. with my grandparents waiting to be called. this song coems on the radio...*
"She thinks my tractors sexy, it really turns her on, she thinks my tractors sexy, when i trudge along."
*~*~*~*~*~*
*My grandpa has an obsession with his horn. He beeps at everything.*
Grandpa: *Tries to beep horn but it doesnt work.* "Why won't you work?!" *Bangs the steering wheel almost breaking it off. Turns the steering wheel from side to side really fast, causing the car to jerk and swerve all over the road. Continues to bang the horn. It beeps* "Ahhh, thats more like it"
*On the way home he tries to beep it again but it won't work, uses same method to make it work, almost hitting another car*
Grandma: "Stop with the horn! God, you beep at everything! Cats, dogs, people, trees. beep beep beep all the time! STOP BEEPING! I'm glad your horn's broken!"
Grandpa: *Hits the horn and it works. Holds it down for a minute* "Beep that. Now shut up before I make you walk home!"
*~*~*~*~*~*
*Me, my aunt, and my cousin went to Friendlys. We had to send back both my sundae and my aunts. Then her spoon was crusty so we had to get a new one. After about five minutes of her having a new, clean spoon another one magically appears at the end of the table.*
Me: "Where did that spoon come from and what is it for?"
My aunt: "Ohhhh, the must be the spoon for my second mouth."
*~*~*~*~*~*
*Laying on the floor in a fetile position playing with a paper clip and with the phone near my ear*
Me: "What if he doesn't call? What if he's standing me up? WHAT IF I CRY?!?!?"
*Each ques. is more and more exaggerated
*~*~*~*~*~*
Mike(my youth group minister): "....I hope theres rats in your bed..you stupid ignorant lady!"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Monique: "Your better off without John, hes such a tramp."
*~*~*~*~*~*
*Me and Amanda hid a tape from Lindsey*
Lindsey: "Where's my tape Jenn?"
Me: "I don't have it."
Monique: "Let me just pull it out of my underwear."
*~*~*~*~*~*
*Me and my dad are complaining how the water just drips out of the shower head and how it has no water pressure*
Mom: "Shut-up you guys, it gives a nice massage."
Dad: "I could spit on myself and it'd get a better massage than that shower head."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Nicole: "Does it oodle your noodle?"
*~*~*~*~*~*
A commercial for the "Good Feet Store": "We make ugly feet feel beautiful again."
*~*~*~*~*~*
*While on the senior trip we decided we wanted to ride the bumper cars. They were closed and we must have gone to them 5 times before they got tired of us asking when they'd be open. Finally they got mad and told us to go back at 3 and they'd be open. After waiting till 4:30 with another family the father says...*
Guy: "These are more like bumer cars than bumper cars."
*Then Kyle said something really really funny that I can't remember.*
*~*~*~*~*~*
*At the chinese rest. in the Tauton mall*
Amanda: "I'd like an orange chicken please."
*~*~*~*~*~*
*Lindsey is getting really mad because I'm not listening to her.*
Lindsey: "Good! So you keep twisting your hair and have yourself a nice day!"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Monique: *Right in the middle of a song in chorus wearing pants shes worn 50 times before* "Oh, my pants are big." *turns around and sings again*
*~*~*~*~*~*
Amanda: *farted and it stunk up the house* "Oh man, I didn't even know that was coming! I felt a little something and then daaaaaamn it smelled bad."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Derrick: "Yo, my name is g-funk
I'm getting skinny cuz I don't eat junk
my shoes are gettin' dirty cuz I stepped in gunk
people make fun of me cuz I dressed as a monk
so I hit 'em in the head with a big nun chuck
then I threw them in the sea and they went kurplunk
when they got out of the sea I kicked 'em in the junk
then I put 'em in a boat where they would bunk
I threw a rock at it and then it sunk
cuz yo, I'm g-funk
*~*~*~*~*~*
*a centipede keeps running past derrick but is gone before he has the chance to kill it*
Derrick: "He looked kinda hungry, but he won't eat me, I give bugs gas" *a few minutes later* "Why can't I stop farting!?!?" ....ironic eh?
*~*~*~*~*~*
Amanda Paquin: "Oh Yee Yee!!!"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Meghann Griffin: "Crapple!"
*she was coming up with a new name to call cranberry-apple juice
*~*~*~*~*~*
Monique: "What the hell?? Beef?? Is that a word? That's not a word...oh wait..."
*~*~*~*~*~*
*Monique had some icecream that she didn't want. She asked me and a few other people if we wanted it and we all said no. Jen Moniz didn't hear her."
Mo: "Hey Jen, want this ice cream?"
Jen: "OHHHHHH, sure...give the fat girl the icecream. Everyone sees the fat chick and assumes shes hungry or she'll eat anything! Thanks Monique!!!"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Meryn (a chick at PC camp)"Losing weights a toughy when your born fluffy."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Professor Stone: "*singing* I've got a mule and his name is Sal, 15 miles down the Erie Canal...*stops* What?! You people have never heard that song?...Idiots..."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Ryan LePage: "That's like disagreeing with an escalator, you just don't do it. It doesn't make sense."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Some gay kid in chorus: *hugs Amanda* "OK! Thats enough, people might start to think I'm straight!"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Monique: "She's sketchier then an art class."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Eric: *talking about Moulin Rouge* "I would never want to watch that with my grandmother. I don't even have a grandma, oh wait, yes I do."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Me: "What was your favorite cartoon when you were little?"
Eric: Tazmanian Devil."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Becky: *in the middle of math class* "Mmmm..I want pumpkin pie...mmmm....pumpkin pie."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Cole: "She's got the IQ of an acorn."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Ryan LePage: "Some guy im'ed me from NY and asked me if I like RI. I told him to drive through and not to stop."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Abe: "I never quite understood drugs. If I want to feel happy, dizzy, and sick I'll stand up really fast and sneeze."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Ian: *talking about why he can't go on a date with a boy* "It's the penis, I prefer my date not to have one."
*~*~*~*~*~*
*I was talking about being addicted to Ramen and about how thats all I eat*
Cole: "Ramen??! You eat small, furry animals!? Your horrible!"
Me: "...? Huh?"
Cole: "Ramen, small woodland creatures."
Andy Farias: "Cole, wtf are you talking about? Ramen are noodles, not animals."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Kelly M.: "I have fat cow disease."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Lindsey: "Ocle James...ohh wait, Cole James..."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Old lady at the eye doctors: *Some kid didn't hold the door for her* "Stupid punk. No courtesy. They raise 'em like that now, to be rude, they like it."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Mom: "This is my crib!"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Me: "Be there or be square."
Mo: "Ohh, I'll be there, I'm round like an apricot."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Sarah: "What's so funny? Did you fart?"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Me: "My boobs are ridiculously large!"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Aly: "He cleaned off his car a lot last night so it will be even more funny when he has another foot of snow on it. I'll just be like, 'Our cars must have gotten into a snowball fight. Looks like mine won. Sucks to be you.'"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Dr. Mangeni: "When I was in college I was so poor I couldn't even afford the second 'o' in poor, I was por."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Dr. Mangeni: "I couldn't take the nerds in college, I mean nerds, math majors, computers...woah, the weasles!"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Dr. Mangeni: "The bookstore! Same as the library...1800, you can't find anything."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Dr. Mangeni: "I could never be a doctor. I'd be Jack Kavorkian probably. You wanna die?!?!*pretends to choke someone*"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Dr. Mangeni: "The Raiders, what a bunch of hooligans."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Dr. Mangeni: "I don't see any difference between me and the queen of England, I'm a prince in my tribe, she's the queen, big deal. We both eat, we both sleep, we both go to the bathroom...I don't know, maybe she uses singing toilet paper."
*Dr. Mangeni is from Africa and is supposedly a prince in his African tribe*
*~*~*~*~*~*
Dr. Mangeni: "For someone born so close to Valentines Day you are a rat!"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Dr. Mangeni: *describing what he didn't want on our papers on chinese music* "Chee Chong Chow wrote about this, Lo Mein wrote about this, General Tso wrote about this, broccoli and chicken wrote about this."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Cole: "You'd think by now she would get that God is telling her to go out with me. She should be going backward, not forward. I mean the last guy she went after was gay."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Cole: "I would go out with a donkey if it honked at me right."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Nick: "Do you have a fish?"
Lindsey: "No, I hate fish! One day I'm going to drown them!"
Nick: "And how are you going to do that? Put alot of water in the tank? *imitating the fish* 'AAHHH theres too much water in my tank, I'm drowning.'"
*~*~*~*~*~*
