Some days I couldn't get up
I couldn't get down
Bored of everything
Somehow a little black cloud
Rained over me
Someone was making me mad
Good turned bad and I lose everything
Just to get you back
But
These days the world's alright
The sun shines bright
I'm kicking off the bad dreams
These days I don't think twice
I walk on light
I'm positively somewhere
These days go on long after you've gone
These days go on long after you've gone
These days go on and on and on and on and on
Out of the fire into the swimming pool
Sometimes I drown my tears
Same old fears come back
Someone was making me ill
I bet you're still
A two, three, four letter word
Guess you heard
Pretty little birds fly home
But
These days the sun kicks in
The good guys win
I'm legal in the back seat
These days I'm safe and sound
Not dragged down
You want to know the reason
These days go on long after you've gone
These days go on long after you've gone
These days go on and on and on and on and on
Thank you for not being here
I feel better when you're not sleeping in my head
Tossing and turning an' messing up the sheets
The love we made was incomplete
Like the shoes on your feet
The same stuff I've heard it before
That philosophy starting to bore me
Now you won't have to smile and ignore me
These days the karma's right
The sun shines bright
I'm kicking out the bad dreams
These days I don't think twice
I walk on light
I'm positively somewhere
These days go on [and on and on and on and on]
These days go on [and on and on and on and on]
These days go on [and on and on and on and on]
Jennifer Paige: These Days
The radio played as Hannah systematically performed her research for an upcoming cover story on celebrity’s who suffer from eating disorders. Patiently she waited for Zach who was to arrive soon with their lunch. They’d taken to eating together everyday and each took turns ordering and picking up the food. Today was his day and waiting for him to walk through the door she smiled at their relationship. She had taken the bar woman’s advice and not pushed him away. She actually clinged on instead, in fear of losing him. He was too good to let go of, too wonderful.
“Boy do I have news for you,” Melissa, her boss, walked into the office with a beaming smile to her face.
“What, what?!” Hannah asked unable to conceal the excitement behind her questions.
“We had a staff meeting early this morning and were handing out assignments. For one feature I thought a more youthful perspective might be better, and I recommended your name as a writer. I know you haven’t written anything for the magazine as of yet, you’re only an intern, but I’ve seen some of your stuff and I think it’s great. With a little persuasion I managed to make them agree to it, so Hannah, you’ve got it. You’ve got your first story in the big time!”
“What? Are you kidding me,” she stood up rushing over to give Melissa a hug. “Thank you! Oh my god, thank you so much! You’re the greatest!”
“Believe me, it was my pleasure. You’re the best intern I’ve ever had.”
“But,” she looked at her squinting her eyes a little, “Do you think that I’m ready for this? I mean, I haven’t had any proper training or anything.”
“You don’t need any training for writing, you’ve been gifted…you’ve got the skills. Aww sweetie, you have it in you, I know it. You’re going to do just great.”
“Wow,” she ran her hand through her hair, “I just, I can’t believe it! This is about the best news I’ve heard in a really long time. Whoa. What am I writing about?” she asked with excitement plastered all over her fast.
“The Backstreet Boys,” immediately Hannah’s face dropped as Melissa continued, “They’re doing an around the world tour in one hundred hours to promote their album…last stop in New York City and we need someone to go to the release party and interview them about their experience. We were going to send Jeremy because he’s the one who typically writes the music reviews, but I think you could liven up the story from a more youthful angle.”
Amazed by her streak of bad luck Hannah stepped back and shook her head, “I can’t do it, I’m sorry,” she said walking back to her desk to continue working.
“What do you mean you can’t do it? This is your big break!”
“Really Melissa, I appreciate you doing this for me but this is one story I can’t cover.”
“Why? What are you talking about? This is an album release party for the largest group in the world, I don’t understand why you’re saying no.”
“Because it’s just really really complicated. I know this is extremely dumb of me to turn the job down but you don’t understand. They always say not to mix business with your personal life right?”
“Hannah, is there something you're leaving out? Because I’m real lost here.”
“Trust me you don’t want to know,” Hannah waved her hands.
“Well you better explain it to me,” she snapped back into that superior tone of voice, “Because I went to a lot of trouble to get you this job and I deserve to know why it was obviously such a waste of time.”
“Because the love of my life just happens to be Nick Carter! I told you about him before, remember I mentioned an ex who turned his back on me because I took this job? Well, believe it or not that was him ok?” She sat down and gripped her head into her hands wondering just how she had yet again found herself in such a mess.
“Are you serious?” Melissa said taking a seat with an intrigued look on her face, “Why didn’t you tell me this before?”
“Because I don’t want to be Nick Carter’s basket case. My break up with him has nothing to do with my job here, it is completely unrelated.”
“Except of course when you have to write a story on him,” she nodded.
Hannah realized how ridiculous she sounded, but she could not face Nick and interview him, she just couldn’t. “I understand that this is entirely unprofessional of me, but to me this is a legitimate reason not to accept the assignment.”
“More than unprofessional Hannah, this is plain stupid. This is an opportunity that I’ve never seen given to any intern. This is a huge jumpstart for your career! It will be one night, and one article. I’m not asking for you to tour around the world with them or recommit yourself to a terrible relationship. I’m asking you to go there, ask a few questions, and leave.”
“But I can’t face him again Melissa! He hates me, absolutely hates me! I can’t bear that.”
“Then prove to him how strong you truly are, prove that you’ve gotten on with your life just fine without him. Don’t you want him to see what a success you’ve become? Don’t you want him to know that you haven’t just been sitting around your bed all day staring at photographs, but you’ve been doing a fabulous job here and have made a better life?”
“Yes, I do, but not now…not at his party, on his night. I don’t want to be there and watch him having fun with everyone else as I stand there, a total bystander trying her hardest to get him to answer even three questions. I don’t want to beg for his attention.”
“Don’t beg for his attention Hannah, demand it. That’s what a good reporter does. She doesn’t ask for the story...she gets it, and you can get your story.”
Hannah sat there listening to Melissa berate her, absorbing all she had to say but unable to convince herself to do the right thing. Her eyes caught sight of that same newsletter in the garbage which announced the need for someone to cover the Backstreet Boys’ release party, she had seen it days and days ago but it never once caught her mind that she would be the one going. It all seemed so unreal, unnatural, like a total streak of bad luck that the biggest opportunity of her life would mean facing a relationship that she had prayed for months to forget. “I can’t go Melissa, I’m not that strong.”
Her boss stood up and walked behind Hannah’s desk, giving her a slight back rub. “Listen to me, you are just as strong as you want yourself to be. If you don’t go to this press junket then you’re letting your own fear of rejection dominate your life. If you do go you’re proving to yourself and to Nick that nothing anyone does to hurt you will work, that you’re much more capable than anyone ever gave you credit. You can do this Hannah, I know you can.”
“You’re right,” she sighed, “I have to go, you’re right,” a tear slipped down her cheek as she fought to control her speaking, “This is going to kill me though, seeing him there…most likely on the arms of another woman.”
“Then why don’t you take Zach with you, huh? You need a photographer and an assistant to go with you anyway, Zach can be your assistant. Show Nick that you’ve moved on every bit as much as he has.”
“No,” she shook her head, “I can’t take Zach there. I don’t want to drag him into this, things are going so well between us. Last thing we need is to bring an ex-boyfriend into the picture.”
“Well you’re going to have to tell him one way or another, I mean…he should know why you’re dreading the biggest break you’ve had yet.”
“If I tell him it will just make me look stupid, we’re not to that point where I can just push all my problems onto him.” Truthfully Hannah did not want to admit to people that she had lost a boyfriend, especially one of that stature. She had worked to be perceived as independent, and if people knew that she had suffered such a terrible break up with a Backstreet Boy she would look like a complete nutcase. As though she had dated Nick for what he does and had a total break down when he left her.
“And lunch arrives,” Zach cheered walking through the doorway with bags of food and bottled water in his hands. “Come on sweetheart, let’s go eat outside. It’s a beautiful day out, sun’s a shining,” he whistled.
Hannah smiled and excused herself to Melissa, “We’ll continue this conversation later, but thanks again for the wonderful news,” she said before slipping out the door.
Chapter 7
Lost in the Rain Main
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