Chapter 19
Parading down the street in heels and a satin gown Hannah’s face was red with anger. She wasn’t angry at Nick, how could she be? He was only doing the same thing he had always done. He was strictly being himself. She was furious with herself, “How could I do this to myself again?!” she screamed and slammed her hand against her forehead in frustration. Her feet were starting to get caught in the length of her dress but she still kept aimlessly walking. There was no way she would willingly accept a ride from his limo driver. There was no way she could willingly allow herself to do anything like that again. “I have to be strong damn it! I have to be smart! For once in my life, I have to be smart!”
Spotting a cab come around the corner she jumped in the street to flag it down not thinking of her own safety. The tires screeched to a halt and the driver immediately laid on his horn and began to shout obscenities. “Watch where the fuck you’re going!”
“Sorry!” she spouted back. “Are you looking for some business or not?”
“Yea,” he sighed rolling his eyes and motioning for her to get in the car. “Get in the back.”
Her heart was racing with her near run in with a piece of moving sheet metal but she managed to tell the driver the address to her apartment. Hoping Nick had enough common sense not to show up there that night. Hoping he knew what was good for him and even better for her. The drive home was dark and depressing. The vinyl seats wrinkled her dress tightly against her legs and the late night traffic was just as heavy as in the morning. Glad that it was now officially winter break she rolled her neck in relief knowing that she would not have to rise early in the morning for a class.
Stepping out of the cab she dug into her purse and pulled out whatever money she had on her and handed it to the Spanish man who was busily chewing on his tobacco. “If that’s not enough I can grab a few more dollars from upstairs. This is my apartment.” He assured her that it was plenty and drove off as she stood on the cement sidewalk. Some night, some supposed to be best night of her life. Lazily she made her way up the steps and down the hall to her door and routinely pulled out the key and turned the lock. Opening it she gasped at her living room. It was a vision of candlelight and scattered red rose petals that led down the hall, to where she assumed ended up as her bedroom. Softly Elvis Presley’s “I Can’t Help Falling in Love with You,” played in the background to complete such a romantic sight.
With tear stung eyes she walked into the room and silently shut the door behind her. Dropping her purse to her feet she stepped down the hallway with great caution as she approached the door to her bedroom. It was closed but where the door met the floor she saw light. Leaning up against the door frame she paused to listen for any signs of life within. Not hearing anything she reached out and touched the door knob, turning it she cracked it open inch by inch. Sighing to herself she pushed the door open the final way and saw the path of peddles leading towards her bed. The room was empty but the sheets had been changed to satin and every spare space was filled with more candles. She spotted a small black box sitting atop her pillow with a whole rose. Making her way closer to the bed she touched the box and felt the soft velvet beneath her fingers. Grasping them around it she lifted it into her hand and touched it briefly once more before bringing it open.
Blinking her eyes she caught site of a small piece of paper. Removing it from the box she held it in her hand before unfolding it. Scribbled out in his handwriting it read, To the angel of mine, may I light your life forever as does this your finger. Paralyzed by the words she stood the gawking at the slip of paper held in her finger tips. She heard the floor boards crease behind her and with a smile on her face she turned around.
“This is where I’m supposed to be Nick,” she said and Hannah’s face dropped to see that of Leighanne’s.
Stunned and confused Hannah shook her head in disappointment. “I don’t get it,” she breathed. Looking back down at the paper in her hands she read the words on final time before folding it and replacing it in the box.
“Nick called,” she said. “He told us that the two of you had a fight.”
“Yea we did,” she bit her lip and then smiled at the room. “Did he do all this?”
“Yes and no,” Leighanne stated. “The two of you were supposed to have your perfect evening while Brian and I set this all up for you. And then you were supposed to return here, except I’m not supposed to be here.”
“And Nick was going to…”
“Propose,” she nodded and Hannah’s eyes suddenly felt like heavy tea bags. “Except I’m here, he called to ask me to come and clean everything up. He didn’t want you to find all this.”
“But I did,” Hannah sat down on the bed still holding the box in her hand. “I found it anyway.” Sitting there she looked down at her lap and her ringless left finger. “How is he?” she asked.
“Upset,” Leighanne shrugged and bent down to blow out the candles.
“No!” Hannah yelled out, “Leave them. I want things to stay like they are.”
“Alright,” she stopped and stood back up. “Well, Nick’s just…pretty hurt right now. I’m sure there are a lot of things running through his mind right now.”
“Yea,” she agreed. “That makes two of us. I don’t even know what to think.”
“I’m not an expert or anything but maybe you shouldn’t always go by what you think. Most times it’s best to go with how you feel.”
“Easier said then done,” she mumbled and laid back on the bed dropping the box to her side. “Were things always so easy for you and Brian?”
“Are you kidding me?” Leighanne laughed. “Of course they weren’t! He and I have certainly had our fair share of problems. Love is the most important thing but that doesn’t make it the easiest. You can’t expect the greatest thing of all time to just fall into place. It takes work and a lot of time, but the pay off is definitely worth it.”
Tossing back her arm she stayed their staring up at the ceiling with wet eyes and a heavy heart. Somehow everything in the past five minutes had changed all the anger she had felt when she stormed out on him. ‘What were we even fighting about?’ she asked herself unable to recall how she got to feeling this way. “I can’t believe he did this,” she cried. “And to think, I could have had all my dreams come true tonight if I wasn’t so…idiotic.”
“Yea,” Leighanne said and took a seat next to her. “What was it that made you walk out on him anyway? Nick wouldn’t tell me over the phone, he just said I needed to come and take all this down.”
“I don’t know,” she shook her head. “I don’t know!” she repeated as she broke into her sob. “I was so caught up in being mad at him I don’t even remember what made me so mad. And now everything is ruined. He swore to me tonight would be the best night of my life and it’s completely ruined! It was absolutely nothing he did, it was all me. I ruined the best night of my life just like I ruined the best thing that ever happened to me. I’m such a disaster. I break everything I touch. It’s like I’m some sort of walking hurricane!”
“Now now,” she touched her hand comfortingly, “That’s not true. You can’t honestly believe that a man who was ready to propose to you tonight is going to walk away so easily.”
“Why?” she snapped. “It’s not like he hasn’t done it before. He’s shown just how good he is at walking away and not looking back, although I don’t want him to walk away at all. I don’t even want to walk away this time. Yet here I am in the middle of my proposal with no man to propose to me.”
“That isn’t true,” a third voice broke into their conversation and Hannah sat up quickly to see Nick standing in the doorway. Wiping her tears and mascara out of her eyes she double blinked at him to make sure she was not imaging things.
Leighanne glanced at Hannah and then at Nick before rising to her feet with a beaming smile on her face and leaving the room without saying anything to either of them. Nick approached her and knelt down on his knees before her.
“How long were you standing there?” she asked cocking her head in amazement at him.
“Shhh,” he silenced her by placing his index finger against her warm pink lips. Reaching into his coat pocket he pulled out another black box. Positioning himself he looked into her deep set eyes with his with a new expression on his face. He looked so serious yet so overcome with joy and excitement at the same time. “I remember the first screaming crowd I sang to. I remember the day I managed to ride on my bike without training wheels and the first time I heard Journey. I’ll always smile when I think remember the times each of my siblings were born, watching a new life come into the world. I remember learning how to read and write, and the first time I played the guitar. I remember so much about my life,” he paused to lick his lips and momentarily shut his eyes, “But I don’t remember a life without you.”
Gently he touched her hand and took it in his. “It seems like you have always been here at my side. I don’t even know how long I’ve known you anymore because nothing before matters. I’ve completely forgotten what it’s like to not have you if ever I didn’t and I can only hope to keep it that way for the rest of my life. I’ve wanted a lot of things in my day but nothing worth wanting if it didn’t include you. I see my children…I see my grandchildren in my future. I can picture myself sitting on a porch watching them run around the front lawn but only when I noticed who is sitting beside me. I can’t survive without you there. I can’t live without you then and I can’t live without you now. The only way I think I ever lived before meeting you was believing that someday I would. I had faith that I would one day meet a heavenly angel and I have. I can’t go on without you because if I try I’ll be left crippled on the floor. I’m paralyzed without your love. You’ve become everything inside of me that keeps me alive and if I don’t have you I have no life. You’re my sight, my touch, my heartbeat, and my breath. If I could give you the world I would still be indebted for all you’ve given me. I know I’m not perfect, but with you life is. Let me honor you. Let me cherish you. Let me love you in a way no one else knows how. Let me be your everything just as you are to me. And,” he opened the box and lifting out a stunning diamond and platinum ring sliding it mid-way down her finger. “Let me light up your life the way this ring does your finger.” Shifting his gaze from her hand to her eyes he smiled, “Be my wife and let me love you forever.”
Speechless she stared at him with melting eyes. She felt his finger and ring pressed against hers but somehow everything else was numb. It was just him and her, that ring, and those two fingers. “Yes,” she mouthed and finally was able to speak. “Yes,” a tear trickled down her face, “I will be your wife.”
Slipping the ring down the remainder of her finger he smiled before embracing her in his arms. Kissing her firmly he sobbed into her warm skin. “I love you so much,” he cried as she ran her hand through his hair. “I was so scared that you wouldn’t be here. I had to stop Leighanne,” he parted his face and looked at her. “I couldn’t let this night go by without letting you know how I felt.”
“Oh Nick,” she took his hand and kissed it. “I was so stupid. I should never have walked out on you like I did, I was being ridiculous. But you were right,” she told him and he blinked. “You were right, tonight is the best night of my life. It didn’t feel like it for a while but it does now.”
“In a way I’m glad you walked out the way you did,” he confessed. “It forced me to get over my nerves. I was so nervous for tonight because I didn’t know how you’d react. I thought it was so soon and that you’d think we needed more time. But when you walked out that door I knew I had to do it because otherwise I might not have the chance. I had to follow through because I might have lost you otherwise.”
“You’re never going to lose me,” she shook her head at him. “I promise. You’re never going to lose me again.”
"I need you to be sure of something," he told her. "When I walked in here you were afraid of me walking away from you again and you need to know..."
"Nick, don't worry about that. I was talking nonsense," she shook her head.
"No, Hannah," raising up on to the bed beside her he took both her hands in his. "I need you to know that's never going to happen. We might go different ways from time to time with our careers, but it will never be anything more than widening our hold. No distance is ever going to change us. No up and coming job opportunities. Nothing is going to change us. I love you now and forever and there's nothing in this world that can change the way I feel about you. And there's nothing in this world that I will ever let come between us."
"I know that," she assured him. "I know you love me and I know just how much we have. I believe in us every bit as much as you do. As far as the rest of the world goes we're untouchable." Kissing him she smiled against his lips. "By the way, do you know you've made me the most happiest person in all the universe?"
Smiling smuggly he pulled her face against his for another kiss. "I wouldn't stop at anything less."
Chapter 20
Lost in the Rain Main
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