Chapter 14
Hand in hand Hannah and Zach walked into the bar for their first date in over a week. Having been busy with her move she had neglected to spend much time with him but really she knew it had more to do than just the move. After she ran from the venue the last thing she wanted was to even see Zach but sure enough he was there waiting for her outside her door with an armful of flowers and ready to pick her up for their date. Absentmindedly Hannah had completely forgotten about it so was forced to put on a smile and pretend to be thrilled to see him when really she was anything but.
“Are you sure you’re ok?” Zach asked for the hundredth time since they’d left her apartment. “You’ve got something on your mind. I can tell.”
“Oh yea,” she touched the tip of his nose. “Are you some kind of mind reader or something?” she flirted.
“When it comes to you yes,” he smiled his stunning smile and all regrets of being with him at the moment were washed away. He was so perfect and charming, how could anyone not want to spend the night with him?
“Well I’m fine. The only thing that’s worrying me right now is that the night is going to go by without a single dance,” she batted her eyes at him.
“Then let’s not waste another moment,” he said twirling her under her arm. “We don’t want you to worry that pretty little head of yours one more instant.”
Parting their way through the bar their hands laced together and Zach walked with her as if he were the proudest man in the room. “Hey look over there,” he pointed across the bar at someone and she stood on her toes to see who around his shoulder. “Isn’t that one of the Backstreet Boys?” he asked and her stomach did a complete roll.
“Yes!” she answered raising her voice. “Come on, let’s dance,” she nudged him.
“No,” he said. “We should hang out with them. They know you; you did that article on them in New York.”
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea Zach, I mean…I doubt they want to spend their free time with nosey reporters.”
“Nosey reporters who just happen to be absolutely stunning,” he winked. “Come on, introduce me. I’d love to meet one of the Backstreet Boys. And hey, maybe we’ll get free drinks if we hang around him.”
“Zach—" she whined following after him.
“Hannah?” she was stopped when she realized that he had already spotted her and made his way over to talk with her.
“Kev!” she exclaimed hoping he would notice the look in her eye that screamed “GO AWAY!”
“Imagine seeing you here,” he smiled taking a sip of his cocktail.
“Don’t be silly,” she waved her hand in front of her face. “I live here remember? Los Angeles is my home, the magazine’s based here,” she laughed trying to hint to Kevin that he should pretend he didn’t know her. She still hadn’t told Zach about Nick and her relationship, especially that he was trying to get back with her.
“It’s actually good to talk to you, I mean gee Han, the way you ran out—"
“Of the party,” she finished his sentence. “Yes! I know you wanted me to stay and dance the night away with you and the others in New York but remember, I did have that flight to catch.”
Zach pinched her side to let her know that she had yet to introduce him. “Oh,” she realized, “Forgive me. Kevin this is Zach. Zach this is Kevin. Zach works for the magazine.”
“Oh yea,” he said holding out his hand to shake Zach’s. “Nice to meet you. Are you two together?” he asked motioning between Hannah and Zach.
“Yea, well, we’re dating,” Hannah admitted. “But nothing too serious!” she clarified knowing that Kevin was catching on as to why getting back with Nick was so difficult. “So what about the others? How are Brian, Howie, AJ, and Nick?” she asked placing an emphasis on the final name.
“Well let’s think…” Kevin said glancing around the room. “Brian didn’t come. Howie’s off with some girl. And AJ and Nick…” he looked back at her. “Should be around her someplace,” he warned. “You’ll have to keep your eye out for them,” he smiled to release any tension Zach may have been sensing. “So do you guys come here a lot?”
“No,” Hannah shook her head. “This is our first time actually.”
“Yea?” he asked surprised. “We come here all the time, really whenever we’re in LA this is where you can find us.”
“Why’s that?” Zach asked trying to include himself in the conversation.
“Oh cause we’re singers. You can put us on vacation, give us a night off, but you can’t pull us out of the spotlight,” he chuckled and Hannah rolled her eyes in agreement remembering Nick’s impromptu performance from earlier on that afternoon. “I better be seeing you up there,” Kevin pointed at Hannah and she shook her head no.
“Yea sweetie!” Zach smiled at her, “I’ve heard you singing around before, you’ll be great.”
“I don’t think so,” she turned them down. “I don’t want to draw any attention to myself and my singing if you catch my drift.”
“Hey!” Kevin spoke up, “I’d love to chat but I think I’m gonna go wrestle up Nick and AJ and see what their up to. You can’t leave those two alone for long.” Relieved that he was going to do her a favor and try to make her night as peaceful as possible Hannah said good bye and didn’t even watch him walk away before she was dragging Zach onto the floor.
In his arms she swayed to the music praying that the tension in her stomach would leave and ragging her brain for some excuse that seems reliable enough to make Zach want to leave without questioning anything and discovering that she was only fleeing from the club because Nick was somewhere inside. Somewhere? More like three people away she gasped when she opened her eyes to see him staring wide eyed at her. “Shit!” she said into Zach’s chest and he looked down at her. “What? What’s wrong now?” he asked and she knew she wouldn’t be able to say it was nothing this time.
“I just realized that I have to get up early in the morning for class,” she shook her head.
“You silly silly girl,” he laughed at her. “Tomorrow’s Saturday. Either you’re working way too hard, signed up for some pretty strange classes, or you’re not telling me what’s really going on here,” he said to her. “And I’m going for the last option.”
“Zach,” she pleaded for him to just drop it. The whole time trying to focus on him but unable to ignore the tall blond who was now speaking to the disc jockey about something. ‘Gosh, I should of just turned right around at the first sight of Kevin,’ she lectured herself.
“Let’s go find Kevin,” she suggested. “I wonder if he caught up with AJ yet, I’d love for you to meet him. He’s a riot,” she changed the subject and grabbed his hand to start her Backstreet Boy search in the crowded and cramped bar. Spotting Kevin sitting at a table close to the stage she dragged Zach behind her who was still asking what was wrong. “Kevin! You found AJ!” she cheered walking up to them.
“Hannah!” AJ said looking at Zach. “It’s so good to see you again!” he eyed her and she was relieved that Kevin had told him to act as though they hadn’t seen one another since New York. “Thanks so much for that wonderful review, it was fabulous.”
“No problem,” she smiled. “Oh look!” she faked a surprised gasp. “Nick’s about to take the mic! I wonder what he’s singing. He looks pretty upset, like he just caught his girlfriend with someone else or something,” she explained and Kevin and AJ caught on to what was going on. “By the way,” she pointed to Zach. “This is Zach AJ, he’s my date sorta boyfriend.”
“Pleasure to meet you,” AJ shook his hand. “You’ve got a really great girl here. You’re a lucky man.”
“Hey, umm Zach,” Hannah asked looking at him. “Would you mind running to the bar and getting me a drink. I’m about dying of thirst here. I’ll wait with these two.”
“Yea,” he smiled kissing her cheek. “What do you want?”
“Anything,” she shrugged her shoulders. “If it’s liquid I’ll drink it.”
Making sure he was well on his way to the bar she turned back to Kevin and AJ. “Oh my gawd!” she gasped. “I was on the dance floor with him and Nick saw us. Jesus! Why does he have to make me feel like a criminal for being here with someone else?” she asked but before either one of them could answer the music began to play and there was Nick center stage with a group of girls gathered around ooing and ahing at the sight of a Backstreet Boy.
“Met a girl, thought she was grand. Fell in love, found out first hand. Went well for a month or few. Then it all came unglued. In a trap, trip I can’t grip. Never though I’d be the one who’d slip. Then I started to realize. I was living one big lie. She fucking hates me…” Nick sang into the microphone with noticeable anger behind his voice. “Trust. She fucking hates me. La la la love. I tried too hard and she tore my feelings like I had none, and ripped them away.”
“Why is it that he always has to let the whole world know his emotions from center stage?” Hannah asked taking a seat at the table grumbling.
“Cause he’s Nick,” AJ rolled his eyes still watching his drunk and angry friend.
“She was queen for about an hour. After that, shit got sour. She took all I ever had, no sign of guilt. No feeling bad, no!”
Sitting there staring at him Hannah couldn’t even feel the chair beneath her. She watched as he gripped onto the microphone and sang with such emotion in his voice as the spit flew from his mouth and his face turned a few shades of red. Shaking her head in her hands she couldn’t believe what was happening. “This is not happening. Gosh, he really knows how to be a dick doesn’t he?”
“Does that surprise you? I mean what did you think was going to happen Hannah after he poured his heart out to you this afternoon, you ran away, and then he finds you in the arms of someone else? I know this really sucks for you but I gotta admit, I understand where he’s coming from,” Kevin told her and she winkled her nose at him. So this is how he gets the reputation for being stuck up, serious, and basically an ass.
“Thanks for the input Kev,” she rolled her eyes. “Real big help just about now. Don’t you think you should be up there trying to drag your drunk ass friend off the stage instead of lecturing me for getting on with my life. As if it’s really my fault that he can’t deal with the fact that my world doesn’t revolve around him!”
“Woah,” AJ stepped in. “No need for either of you to get defensive here. This is bad, real bad, but we can’t get mad at each other. We’ve got to focus on how to get Nick out of here without him causing a scene.
“That’s my story, as you see. Learned my lesson and so did she. Now it’s over and I’m glad. Cause I’m a fool for all I’ve said. She fucking hates me! Trust! She fucking hate me! La la la la la la la la love. Trust and she tore my feelings like I had none. She fucking hates me!!!!!!!” Nick held onto the last note as the audience roared into applause. That’s the thing about karaoke bars, people always got great reception when they performed that well…nevermind that they were purposely trying to hurt a person sitting out in the audience who the song was dedicated to.
“I’ve had just about enough of this,” Hannah said pushing herself up. “I’m gonna go find Zach and get out of here. You two help Nick.”
“Help Nick?” he spewed behind her. “And why do you assume that I need any help?” Nick asked breathing his alcohol laced breath in her face. “Because I saw you rubbing up against some other guy like the slut that you are?” he yelled at her.
“Now now,” AJ said pushing Nick back from Hannah. “Nick you need to get a grip ok?! Don’t say things you don’t mean because your feelings got hurt. Let’s be mature adults here.”
“Why?” he asked looking down at AJ. “She isn't is she? She comes to see me and makes me practically beg for her on my knees and then goes running off to some other guy. If she weren’t a two timing slut she would have told me that she was seeing someone else to start with. But nooooo, I bet you wanted to have us both didn’t you hun?” Nick asked touching her shoulder and she slapped his hands away.
“Nick calm down,” Kevin warned standing up to his younger friend. “You don’t want to cause a scene here. This isn’t you talking, it’s the alcohol. Let’s just take you back home and forget this ever happened.”
Ignoring him Nick pushed back up to Hannah. “Are you going to stand there and pretend that you care how I feel?” he slurred. “I think it’s time we just lay everything out in the open. You want to see me crawl for you. You just love watching me hit rock bottom don’t ya?”
“Nick, honestly. There are people watching,” AJ said trying to pry him out of her face but he was shoved away. “Damn it Nick! Stop acting like a child and getting up in her face like that!”
Hannah stayed still as he got closer and closer to her face. The warmth and rank of his breath pressed on her but she didn’t avert her eyes. Staring at him she wanted to run but couldn’t as his words paralyzed her feet to the ground. Tell me sweetheart,” Nick said gracing the curves of her body with his lingering touch. “Tell me what it’s like to fuck him. Does he work the same magic that I did?” He slid his hand around her waist and pulled her towards him. “Can he make you squeal?” he whispered in her ear. “Let me have another go,” he begged. “He can watch if he wants,” he drew his hand even further around her and leant into kiss her but was stopped by her hand slapping across his face.
“If you ever think that I’m gonna let you treat me like some cheap whore you’ve got another thing coming!” she yelled stepping back from him.
"Oh really? Why?! Isn’t that what you are? What’s the going rate and just how many guys did you have to sleep with to get that interview you got?” he asked running his fingers along her shoulders but she snatched away.
Kevin stepped in between them. “That’s enough Nick!”
“Going to defend her now Kev? I bet she can help you out too! Maybe she’s willing to join both you and—“ he was shut up by someone pulling his shirt back and spinning him around.
“Who the hell do you think you are?” Zach said jerking Nick’s shoulder and pushing his chest.
“Oh looky here, my anonymous replacement has arrived,” Nick cocked his head shoving him back. “Please enlighten us with your tale. Tell us what it’s like to screw my leftovers,” he demanded. “Tell me, does Hannah still do that great thing where she…” Zach’s fist pounded into Nick’s mouth causing him to reach up and wipe the blood just before taking a swing of his own.
Kevin and AJ watched as the two grown men fought, debating what to do. “Don’t just stand there!” Hannah screamed at them. “Do something! Where the hell are your body guards?” Neither one replied so she stepped into the fight between the brawling men to feel the punch blow into her cheek, leaving her tumbling over the table.
Stunned at the sight of her fragile body tossed on the floor Nick reached for her but was pulled back. “Don’t you ever fucking touch her again!” Zach screamed helping her up and wrapping her in his arms to shield him away. “What’s your problem? Going around hitting her. I swear to god…”
“Hannah,” Nick said over Zach still trying to reach for her but Kevin grabbed his arm to stop him.
“Leave her alone,” he warned. “Jesus! Don’t you think you’ve done enough for one night? Come on, we’re leaving. AJ,” he glanced at the still silent observer, “Take him,” Kevin ordered pushing Nick towards him.
Turning back to Hannah Kevin frowned as she rubbed her cheek and adjusted her jaw. “I am so sorry,” he told her. “Do you need to go to the hospital or something?” he asked stepping closer to her with a concerned expression on his face as Nick was dragged towards the exit behind his back.
“No,” she shook her head still watching Nick leave the bar. “It’s just a punch, I’ll live.”
“Yea, but that ass hold should never…”
“Stop it Zach!” she yelled. “You’re the one who threw the first punch anyway. Geez, what is wrong with either of you?” she stepped away from him. “Am I the only one that sees that you’re all acting like complete morons?”
“What are you talking about? I was only trying to help..” he argued.
“Well look how well that went over,” she exclaimed pointing to the mark on her face. “Good grief. Kevin where’s Nick?” she asked shifting her attention away from Zach.
“AJ’s—"
“I know AJ’s taking him…I want to see him.”
“Wha…why?!” he asked with a confused glare.
“Don’t ask me why. I want to see him now,” she pushed past him and Kevin shrugged at Zach before following her out the bar. Outside AJ was fighting to keep Nick from stammering back in but was stopped short when Hannah appeared. “Where are you taking him?” she asked.
“Back to the hotel,” AJ answered holding onto Nick so he couldn’t run over to Hannah.
“No,” she shook her head. “There are probably fans there and you don’t want this to be in the papers. Come on,” she waved, “We’ll take him back to my place. I’ll see that he’s alright.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Kevin warned.
“Kevin, since when do I care what you think is or is not a good idea?” she retorted. “I’m not asking you to bring him home with me, I’m telling you to. So let’s go, or do I need to find a cab?”
AJ let go of Nick who ran over to Hannah, “I’m so sorry,” he kept repeating touching her face. Shrugging his shoulders Kevin opened the door to the backseat of their car.
“I know, I know Nick,” Hannah told him with a slight smile and helped him into the backseat. With AJ driving they started towards her apartment. Looking over at Nick she saw that his face was red from crying and she touched his hand to let him know everything would be alright.
“I promise you I will shoot myself in the head before I ever let something like that happen again,” Nick assured her squeezing onto her. “I love you so much. I am so sorry. I am so so sorry Han,” he cried and pulled her to his chest.
With her head resting on him she sighed, “I know.”
Holding onto her Nick cried into her hair and kissed the top of her head. He wasn’t going to let her go until he new she was safe.
Her apartment was dark and it was hard to find the keys in her purse while struggling to hold Nick up. “Here,” she handed her purse to Kevin. “You find the keys, I can’t,” she told him steadying Nick against the wall.
“You know you don’t have to do this?” AJ asked watching her. “I mean, we can take him to another hotel or something.”
“No,” she shook her head. “This is my fault, I need to be the one to help him.”
Kevin found the right key and opened the door to the dark apartment and started turning on some lights. “No!” Hannah yelled for him to turn them off. “The light will kill his eyes, he’s dead drunk. Just help me get him into the bedroom,” she asked pointing to it down the hall.
“I’ll get him some water,” AJ offered and went into the kitchen.
Plopping Nick down on her bed Hannah walked away as he pulled out for her, “Hold on a second Nick,” she said turning to him and then pulling Kevin aside. “He’ll probably be out cold in a few minutes so you don’t have to stick around. Look,” she said giving him a piece of paper and a pen. “Write down a number where you can be reached and I’ll call first thing tomorrow to let you know how he’s doing. He doesn’t have to get up early or anything?” she asked looking back at Nick who was tossing and turning on the bed grasping his stomach. “Oh gawd, he’s gonna throw up,” she said rushing to him. “AJ!” she yelled out, “Get a bowl while you’re in there, he’s gonna puke!” she asked a minute too late as his vomit poured into her lap.
Disgusted Kevin looked at her with an apologetic look, “Han, come on you don’t have to do this. We’ll take him and you can just rest and relax. You don’t deserve to clean up his puke.”
Shaking her head she massaged Nick’s neck to calm him down, “He’ll be fine,” she promised and thanked AJ who brought in the bowl and glass of water with a few aspirin. “Here,” she pulled on Nick, “Take these,” she handed him the white pills and he obeyed.
“Well, is there anything else we can do?” AJ asked. “Or do you got it all covered.”
“I’m fine,” she told them. “He’ll be asleep in five minutes probably and then I’ll just take a shower and go to bed too. Thanks for all your help, I’ll call first thing tomorrow.”
“You’re sure now?” Kevin continued. “You don’t have to play the martyr here, we understand that Nick’s probably the last person you want to be helping right now.”
“GO!” she whined. “We’ll be fine I promise. Stop worrying.” Shrugging their shoulders AJ and Kevin bid her good-bye and left the apartment after telling her to call anytime she needed them. Shutting the door behind him she made her way into the bathroom and stripped off her vomit stained clothes and changed into a bathrobe. Making her way into her dark room she saw Nick laying their in the darkness whimpering to himself.
“Hannah,” he called out and she crept to his side taking his hand. “You’re not going to leave me are you?” he asked still feeling the effects of the alcohol, but this time he was being honest.
“No,” she shook her head and patted his hand. “I’m right here for you sweetie. I’m going to sleep right here next to you so if you need anything just wake me.”
“I’m so sorry,” he cried reaching up and touching her face. “I promised myself I’d die before anyone ever…”
“Shhh,” she silenced him. “It doesn’t matter now, it’s over. Besides,” she shrugged, “It’s not as bad as you think.”
“Just tell me one thing Han-” he pleaded. “One thing and then we’ll go to bed.” She nodded her head at him. “You don’t love him do you?” he asked.
“No,” she said fighting to swallow the building tears. “No,” she repeated. “I don’t love him.”
She Hates Me by Puddle of Mudd
Chapter 15
Lost in the Rain Main
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