Chapter 6

Upon arriving home, Hannah worked to clean up all her mother’s empty bottles. Glancing around the room she noticed the family photo album sitting. Page by page, Hannah flipped through the photographs. Endless memories of Christmas pasts, days at the beach, and pictures of Hannah in school plays, on sports teams, and laughing with her friends at slumber parties. Sighing to herself she headed into the kitchen to get some dinner. The refrigerator was covered with pictures of her father. Looking over she saw his medicine bottles still on the counter. Hannah immediately grabbed them and threw them away, they didn’t do any good when he was alive, and definitely were of no use now.

Upstairs her father’s scent still drifted through the rooms. The bathroom door still hung his bathrobe. The walls were painted his favorite colors. The house was made up entirely of his memory. Rubbing her temples Hannah just couldn’t take it. It was all just too much to handle right now. Grabbing her purse and keys, she got in her car and sped away.

* * * *

‘Now this is what life is made of,’ Nick thought to himself as he walked down the beach. ‘No worries, no stress, just me and the ocean.’ It had been weeks now since the wrap up of his tour, and Nick had finally adjusted to sleeping in and having nothing to do but please himself. No more interviews, early morning rehearsals, or late nights in the studio. It was vacation time. Smiling to himself, Nick thought about the past few days he had spent with his brother. Aaron had flown in for five days, and the two did nothing but laugh together and race on Nick’s wave runners. ‘I’m so proud of him, he’s really growing up.’

The cool water of the ocean swayed under Nick’s feet. Looking up he lost his breath at the sight of a million stars lining the sky. ‘How do I ever manage being away from the ocean for months at a time? It’s so beautiful here.’ Step by step Nick continued down the beach. He was getting farther and farther from his house, but it was just too peaceful to turn back. Ahead Nick saw the outline of a girl sitting alone on the beach. ‘Hmm, maybe I should turn back, I really was enjoying this time alone’ Nick thought, but as he got closer to the girl he began to recognize her. Though he had only met her twice, he could never forget her gorgeous long hair. ‘That’s that girl from the restaurant. Gosh what was her name... Haley? Heidi? No...Hannah! Yea, Hannah.” For a moment Nick stood there watching her, he should say hello but remembered how she always blew him off. Suddenly Nick realized that something was different now, he could hear the faint sound of her crying. He watched as she hugged her knees to her chest and stared out at sea, as though she was looking for something.

Nick turned to head home, but something told him to turn back. Slowly he approached her, but she still did not see him. She was so small and vulnerable. Standing behind her, Nick reached out and touched her shoulder.

* * * *


Hannah jumped at the feel of someone’s touch and was quickly shaken back to reality. “Get away from me!” She yelled at the dark figure.

“No no, I’m not going to hurt you,” a man answered. “I noticed you sitting here crying and wanted to help. I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

“Well what do you think would happen? Touching some random girl whose sitting alone on the beach at night. Who the hell do you think you are anyway? And what makes you think I need or even want your help?”

“Well...you were crying, and I just thought... look I’m sorry ok? I remembered you from a few weeks back and thought I’d see what was bothering you.”

“You know me? From where?” Hannah asked disbelieving. The man was standing in the shadow of a palm tree, she couldn’t even make out his face.

“I’m Nick Carter, from the Backstreet Boys. Remember a few weeks ago we ran into each other at that restaurant, I ruined your dress.”

Wiping away her tears Hannah recognized him. “Oh, you.”

“Yes, me. So why are you sitting here crying? What’s the matter? Is there anything I can do?”

“No there’s nothing you can do, and it’s really none of your business why I’m sitting here crying.”

“Please, don’t get mad at me. I’m only trying to help you. You can tell me what’s wrong. Whatever it is, it will help to talk about it. I promise.”

“I can guarantee you talking about it isn’t going to help anything. So you can leave now. You’re only stopping to feel better about yourself anyway. The good deed of the day. Like it will make you a better person to try and help me out. But I don’t want your help.” All of a sudden Hannah broke out into tears, “It’s no use anyway.”

* * * *


Without a thought, Nick took Hannah into his arms and hugged her tightly. Her shaking body pressed against him, and he slowly rubbed her back with his hands. “Shh shh, it’s ok. I’m here to help you.” Nick whispered to her. Nick stood there holding Hannah. Caressing her small frame. Whatever had happened to her, he was going to try and make it better.

Hannah pulled away from him, “Your free to go now, you’ve given me a hug, tried to cheer me up...just go.”

“I’m not doing this for me, and making you cry definitely doesn’t make me feel like a better person. All I want is to help you feel better about whatever it is that’s bothering you. But I can’t do that unless you tell me, so please...what happened?”

“Fine! It’s my dad all right, he died last week from cancer.”

“Oh my god, that’s awf...”

“And now I don’t know what to do with myself.” Hannah continued. “For months my whole life was devoted to him. I even had to stay home from college. And when I wasn’t working I was helping my mom with things around the house, or giving my dad his medicine. I lost all my friends. They all felt terrible about my dad of course, but moved on because I never had time for them. And now that my father’s gone, it’s like this huge..void in my life. Now that I don’t have to take care of him anymore my life has no purpose. I wake up, go to work, come home, clean up around the house, and go to bed. But I can’t even sleep, yet it hurts too much to stay awake. Everywhere I turn there are memories of him. Memories that I don’t want to forget, but just can’t deal with right now...”

Nick just stared at her, listening to her everyword. He wanted nothing more to say something, but couldn’t think of what to say. She had been through so much.

“....when I came home tonight I felt like I couldn’t breath in that house. So I came here. And once I got here I remembered all the days we spent at the beach as a family, and how it had been so long since I’ve even seen the ocean, and it’s only a mile or two away. I’ve become such a different person, I don’t even know who I am anymore. And then the situation with you, I was so mean to you, when you were only...”

“Oh you don’t need to go into that, I understand why you didn’t...”

“No, you don’t understand why I did that. I don’t even understand why I did that. I feel so alone in the world, but do nothing but push people away when they’re trying to be my friend. And that day in the mall, that was the first day I took off for myself in over a year. I had no plans that night, I could have easily gone out to dinner with you, a Backstreet Boy of all people, but instead I sat home and probably had a frozen pizza," tears started to roll down her cheek, “I’ve completely lost track of who I am in life. I gave up everything for my father, and now I don’t even have him.”

Brushing away her tears, Nick again hugged her, and this time she hugged him back. Slowly her shakes eased, and her breathing softened. Nick imagined that it was the first time she’d ever really talked to someone in a long time.

Soon there was only the sound of waves crashing to the shore. Wrapped in each other’s arms, Nick felt his heart opening to this lost girl. “Thank you,” Hannah mumbled into his chest and Nick's grip tightened around her. She was so small, but strong. Her hair blew in the wind, tickling his nose. It smelled of French fries. Hannah was still crying, but was obviously more relaxed. ‘She has no idea how amazing she is. If I can only do one thing for her I have to make her see that.’

Hannah slowly began to shuffle in his hold, “Gosh, what time is it?” Shaking himself back to reality, Nick checked his watch.

“It’s late.”

“I’m so tired,” she yawned.

“Well than let’s get you to bed young lady. I’ll walk you to your car, unless... are you not ready to back to your house? Is it too much for you right now?” Nick inquired, recalling the way she spoke of the pain in caused her.

“I don’t think I’ll ever be ready, but I should.”

Nick nodded, “Alright then, let’s go.” The two walked towards the parking lot side by side. The green beetle was the only car there. Hannah got in and started the engine. Rolling down her window Hannah thanked Nick for all he did.

“It was my pleasure, honest. Look, if you ever need someone to talk to I’m here for you. Let me give you my number.” He quickly jotted down both his home and cell number on a scrap piece of paper. “You can call me anytime. Day or night,” he assured.

“Thanks, you know I think I might just take you up on that,” Hannah smiled as she took back the pen and paper.

“I certainly hope that you do. Uh, Hannah...I don’t want to scare you by saying this and I know we’ve just met, but I think you’re really special. You’ll get through this, because you’re strong. I know it's hard, but I promise you things will get better. I want to help them get better.” Hannah averted her attention to the empty lot ahead, she was trying to hide it, but Nick caught her eyes tearing up. “Anyway, goodnight. Get some sleep.” Hannah said her good-bye, rolled up her window, and drove off leaving Nick behind in the parking lot with a long walk home to think.

Chapter 7
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