Author's Note
Well, this story, like any story of mine, took quite some time to complete. When I set out to write this story I wasn’t really even setting out to write a story. Randomly I sat down in front of the computer and wrote out the prologue from boredom and when I sat back to read what I had written thought there was so much depth and a multitude of possibilities for a story. Immediately I started thinking of these characters. Then I remembered an idea I’d had for years for a comedy over a couple fighting over a house. It was definitely fun for me to write those chapters where Chelsea is terrorizing Nick in an attempt to get him to leave. Yet, I knew there was more to them then comedy.
The flashbacks were the most fun of all for me to write. Actually, they were more like meditating. If I came to a point in the story where I wasn’t sure where to go I would put in a flashback. For some reason I was so much more sure of where Nick and Chelsea had been then of where they currently were or where they were going. Perhaps that’s why the characters in the present were so confused all the time…it was just a confusing situation.
Adding in John Mayer is a definite result of my infatuation with him when I first set out to write this story. He wasn’t really supposed to be a serious love interest for Chelsea until I realized that the story was going to be a lot longer then I had originally thought. The more that I wrote the more realized I had to write. It was hard though for me to portray him in the way he deserved. For some reason he naturally took a back seat to Nick even in my writing the story. When it came time for their wedding I spent days trying to think of the perfect gift that he could give her to prove that he really was such a great guy and an excellent choice if choosing between Nick and John. The empty schedule is what I came up with after toying around a number of different ideas. I still think that scene between Chelsea and John on the eve of their wedding is one of the best in the whole story. It makes me love her and it makes me love him. It makes me love them together and actually want them to be together, maybe. Plus, I think it achieved what I intended it to do which is make you root for him, slightly.
Yet, I knew they would not end up together. The scene in the wedding itself with Nick walking down the side aisle next to Chelsea was another great idea I’ve had for years. I think it seems just so romantic for him to be walking along side of her, his heart breaking more and more with every step they take because he knows that she’s that much closer to getting married to another man. The agony of it all. When I wrote it out I struggled though, because I had always pictured that scene and wasn’t sure exactly how to encompass the anxiety of it all. I love the repetition of in, out and left, right. Most especially how they blend together to end up as Left. Out. as Nick was so left out.
One part of the story that I was a little unsure about was that Chelsea had an abortion. Writing that sort of surprised myself yet when I went on to write the flashback of her abortion I felt a lot more secure about the idea. Chelsea is right in what she says to Nick. Their relationship was very much a sitcom. How could it be anything else when they only saw one another in fabulous places all over the world? They never had a solid relationship in reality together so how could them to raise a child together at that time. It is controversial, for me too. Still is actually.
One last thing I want to touch on Ashley in Chapter 20. I knew that I wanted Nick to go to a bar, get drunk, and talk to the bartender about Chelsea. In fact, I originally imagined the bartender to be a guy. When I decided to make the bartender a girl the whole chapter concept changed. It was supposed to be Nick venting and remembering Chelsea and then going home to find her in his apartment which would be the biggest and the best surprise of his life. Yet, when I wrote her as a girl and the more she developed in that chapter the more I loved her…to the point where Nick ends up going back to her apartment. It was just something about the way she came out on paper. So sweet when he was so cold. And yet so bitter just like him when it comes to love. Everything she said and did made me admire her and play with the idea of Nick sleeping with her. This is why you don’t find out what happens until Chapter 21 with her because I really just couldn’t decide. Though, once I chose for Nick to back out of her apartment I did think it would be neat to have one flashback that was so recent.
Oh, and another thing. The last chapter. I suppose I can’t write an author’s note without discussing the ending. While I wrote that at four o’clock in the morning after inspiration struck me I was very indecisive on what Nick should do which ends up on paper and in his character. It seemed sort of strange to me that after so much drama and heartache between them, that Nick would be all Ok! You didn’t get married! Great! Let’s be together! But then I thought back on how much they should be together…which is what Nick is thinking when he sits down on the bed silently remembering the image of Chelsea walking down the aisle to John. Yet, in the end I felt it was best if they could put aside the fact that they hurt each other both so deeply. The chapter contains too much of a debate if you ask me. Whether or not Nick would accept her or not was becoming a little more then aggravating for me. Yet, I love how it ends so briefly. I love how he tells her to tell him she loves and him and to kiss him. Then, after their kiss he turns off the light and just wants to go to bed. It’s so Nick to me, so cocky. I debated whether that fit, after so much drama and heartache they could just kiss each other and lay down to go to sleep but then I realized that’s really what the story is about in the end.
After adultery, abortions, break ups, engagements to other people, etc. Chelsea and Nick roll over and go to sleep proving how much they were meant to be together from the start. I threw in that “Now we can finally get some rest,” line as a real line of closure. It’s true, their fighting is over and now they can just love each other and be together.
All in all I’m impressed with the way Cardboard Boxes turned out. With all its layers and all its questions I feel like the conclusion is really right for the characters and the storyline which is all I could have asked for. It definitely was not easy writing this story with all my own personal doubts over where it was going. Yet now, after two years of writing it, like Nick and Chelsea, I can finally get some rest.
I hope you enjoyed!
Kelly
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