Rather than give an overview at all, I'll just jump right into it. =)
We start off a lackluster Heat with Blackman vs Bradshaw.
Whooo. Apparently, the bizarre crowd in Chicago ("I luv bacon" as a ringside sign?) wasn't too thrilled with this, either... a "Bradshaw Sucks" chant broke out for whatever reason. Anyway, Blackman won, and the Blue Blazer came out, to do whatever it is that he does. BTW, I am starting to believe the rumblings that Blazer may not be Owen Hart, afterall. I dunno why, I just am.
We cut to a shot of Paul Bearer eating backstage. Sheesh. I don't know whether to laugh, or run and hide.
ICP lead the Oddities out. They're really not going anywhere anytime soon, are they?
Kurrigan/Silva/Golga vs Los Boriquas, Jose/Jesus/Miguel
Hmmm... no heat for the actual wrestling, but whoo, people do love when the big guys dance. Question: Can Silva wrestle? or is he just there to look big and goofy? Sort of so wwf can say, "nyah nyah we have a giant too"? The Oddities win, simply because, well, the Boriquas never win, not becuse they actually have skills. The Headbangers come in and start with ICP. (Yawn) The NAO come in and start with Headbangers (yay)
We cut to Paul Bearer backstage, this time eating brownies and cool whip. Yeeeech.
Godfather vs Farooq
Ya know, you simply have to love the pimp gimmick. I assume it all came from the DX as the Nation skit, since I never knew him to be a pimp prior to that. Whoo, those were the worst hos ever! They were awkward, where did they find them? Anyway, Farooq pretends to take the hos, but starts fighting with Godfather. However, he loses. Because, the default rule is, Farooq alwyas loses. Give him back his Gladiator Helmet. or something. D'Lo and Mark Henry turn on the Godfather. (that's what he gets for telling them to "tie it between yer legs" and taking them down to the river side)
When we come back from commercial break, Jackal (huh, where did he come from) is whispering to Farooq. Not that he'll get him over, mind you. But if some overrated, crappy band does a song for him... maybe... just maybe...
Val Venis comes out to sit at the announcers table. and sounds better than Cornette OR McMahon.
Paul Bearer is interviewed: he's there for the food, to visit and to watch the show.
Jeff Jarrett vs Scorpio
An usher gives a box to Val Venis, which contains a gold cup. LOL. Val runs off to the back. The match is progressing... progressing... and then the crowd starts to cheer... huh? OH, Al Snow is ringside. That explains it. Anyway, he puts head in the ref's back pocket, and Scorpio gets the pin on a mighty p***ed off Jarrett. But, who cares? We want HEAD!
Austin arrives at the arena. He's sent to the ref's dressing room, which is a small concrete room. hmmmm. yup. Saw that coming.
Shamrock comes out to get the belt presented to him. Some guy in the crowd seems to want to fight Shamrock. I found this exceedingly funny.
Slaughter sends Chyna and XPac backstage, after they come out with Hunter to hand the belt over. He's on crutches.
Pat Paterson gives a speech on how he was the first IC Champ, with HHH in the back, making comments like "Who Cares" and correcting him when he says HHH won the belt at Wrestlemania. *sigh* reminded me when HHH was more than one catch phrase.... HHH gives the belt to Shamrock, leaves the ring says, "Myself, DX and everybody here in Chicago have to words for you..." And the crowd fills in with a super loud Suck It.
Backstage, HHH gets in a car, and Shamrock supposedly hits his leg with the door of the car. Nice working of an angle, in all honesty. When he comes back, he'll have a couple of feuds nicely set up.
McMahon comes out with the dogs (poor dogs... their ears!), Boss Man and speaks for a bit too long on Austin and whatnot.
---- Onward to the PPV
We start with Al Snow vs Marc Mero
What's funny about this is I had recently seen a tape with Mero fighting Leif Cassady. Hmmm... major role reversals. ;) jeff Jarret comes out-- he wants to fight and wants Mero to go backstage. Sure, sure, that's how it always works, don't you see? Mero take advantage of this and starts the match with Snow. And Jarett just goes away. Like a good jerk should. Mero goes to kick head, but gets grabbed by Al. jackie distracts him, and Mero manages a low blow into a DDT, which Snow kicks out of. The match goes on... we see Jackie choke Al on the ropes, Al Snow land a powerbomb, a botched moonsault, and then finally, the SnowPlow for the win. yay!
DOA vs LOD
Just when I thought it was safe to turn on WWf and NOT see this feud.... Frankly, I have no idea what happened. I took a phone call during this match. It was as boring as the first 700 times they fought, even if Droz and Ellering were involved. I believe LOD won, but really, I doubt anyone was all that concerned. And... if they fight on Raw tonight, I will personally have to hunt the booker down. ;)
Christian vs Taka (for the light heavyweight belt)
Unfortunately, I stayed on the phone and missed a lot of this, which I had wanted to see. Christian looks older than I thought he was when I saw him live. Interesting, he fights just like Edge. (well, they were tag partneres) as far as I could tell, and it was a nice match. And... Christian won? Welll then... As much as I am glad to see the belt change hands, and to see something actually happening concerning it, does someone really deserve to win a belt in their debut match? We shall see what happens.
Val Venis vs Goldust
Goldust cuts Val's mic so he can't go on and finish the "hello, Ladies". Goldust rules. It's so great to see him back. Just please, let them do this right, and start the mindgames and playing him as the most bizarre man ever. Marlena distracts Dustin, but Val gets almost thrown into her, allowing for a GD low blow-pin. wheee, gotta love that. But who will Val go after next, once Marlena becomes too much of a problem?
XPac Vs D'Lo Brown
(European Championship) These guys give s atandard fight. it's never a *bad* fight, it's just something that I have seen a whole bunch of times before. Chyna gets a righthand on D'lo, Mark Henry comes out behind Chyna, but doesn't do anything... The ref gets knocked out, D'Lo hits Xpac with the belt, D'lo goes for the pin, Henry wakes the ref, Xpac kicks out on a two count. Coool that they didn't have a screw job, and D'Lo's face was priceless. Facebuster by XPac and he's the new champ.
Headbangers interview. booooo. Not only do they say NAO suck and will job and all, but they say that they want to listen to Marilyn Manson. Embarassments to stripey socks, I tell you. ;) (mark mode officially on)
NAO vs Headbangers
The Headbangers run in and ruin the intro. I know, I know, people are sick of it. But *I* still like it, okay? This match is super one-sided, with Headbangers getting a lot of double team time, and complete domination. The brief bits that Road Dogg wrestled weren't bad, really, and in an interesting change of pace, Billy took most of the beating. Finally when he was about to be pinned, Road Dogg slams one of the Headbangers with a radio, giving HB the DQ win, but keeping the belts for NAO. And thankfully, Billy didn't freak out and yell at him. all is well in NAO land, but I'm still sitting there, thinking, "don't break up, don't break up" < > ps: If Ross says, "that boom box was not a JVC, they don't break" one more time, I think I will have to throw something.
Mankind vs Shamrock
Oh... Mick Foley gets the only 5 star ANYTHING of the night with his interview. "I watched Shamrock's interviews, they're brutal... they're the leading cause of teen suicide". And the reason all of his comments towards Rock's people's elbow and Shamrock are so funny is that they're true... And then he goes on to discuss Socko's underwear, with Socko calling him a pervert... LOL. Mick, you're a god, plain and simple.
Shamrock is not the most exciting guy in the ring, and this was not a match to showcase how great Foley is. I'd rather have seen him fight the Rock again (this match being further proof that Shamrock was dead weight at the cage match last month) at least the crowd cheered for Foley. So Shamrock does his ankle lock submission hold, but Mankind will not submit, going so far as to put the mandible claw on *himself* so he loses by Mandible Claw, and not Submission. Very cool, though I wanted him to win, damnit. Shamrock attacks Mankind when he's still passed out as well a the ref, when "the winner, Shamrock, by Mandible Claw" but Foley gets up and puts the Mandible Claw (with Socko) on Shamrock. I was left saying,. "why not DURING the match?" and wondering if McMahon will *ever* give the man a title.
Boss Man stops Cole from interviewing McMahon. I dunno, him and the dogs took the evil boss McMahon too far. He's becoming a self parody, not a brilliant character, these days.
Mark Henry vs The Rock
Henry delivers a bloody awful poem to Chyna in the ring. This angle has no promise. and not that much heat, either. The match is standard, Huge pop for the people's elbow. Big splash from Henry (sorry, there i sjust not much else he can do) and a pin, with the assist from D'LO who held down Rock's feet.
Kane vs Undertaker (with Austin as ref.) WWF Heavyweight Title Good God. Boooooooooooring. I had to watch the replay of this show, so it' about 1:15 when this match starts. I actually fell asleep briefly when UT was working on Kane's leg. since when does he rely so heavily on submission moves? < > This match had a lot of comedic potential, like when austin handed UT the wire to choke Kane, and when he nodded happilly when the chair came into play, but it quickly fell apart into a slow, plodding match. Austin won't count for UT, counts fast for Kane (that made no sense) Paul Bearer comes in, and asks kane if he can use the chair, motioning towards Undertaker. A nod. Bearer knocks Kane in the head with the chair. Austin won't count for UT to get the pin, stuns UT, and then does a double count, announcing himself as the winner of the match, with Kane and UT out cold.
Austin looks for McMahon, who we discover is behind a glass barrier, behind the screen. Fans are pelting the guy with stuff-- he'd have been better off in one of the popemobiles.... and he fires Austin.
I have to admit, I'm surprised. If he's gone for a while, this could be bad for Austin/wwf. I'd imagine the fickle fans will have forgotten him to an extent, and he'll be easily replaced with Rocky. I may be wrong. I hope I am. I perfer Austin to Rocky, and think with some new lines, and time off, Austin could be as funny/exciting as he was when he started the 3:16 schtick.
all in all, not worth $29.95, but not a bad night, either. survivor Series seems promising. I thought all five belts were on the line, though? What? Did they run out of time for the women's match? (By the way, GOOOOOO JACKIE!!!)
And that's all for now.
