Whooo.. major mark out night for me. But we'll come to that.
Heat was completely lackluster- it really served little purpose, though there was some angle progression.
We start with LOD 2000 vs JOB Squad (Holly/Scorpio) (accompanied by Al
Snow/Head)
Um, yeah. JOB Squad wins because Al hits one of the LOD with head.
Stooges call Austin to the ring-- McMahon wants to see him.
Tiger Ali Singh vs Val Venis
Val gets a big pop. Tiger does his usual schtick, making Babu wipe him off.
Tiger gets the win, via DQ, when Godfather comes in and attacks him. I
suppose *this* is what people are alluding to, with Val/Godfather as a new
tag team? (which i think is kind of lame since they're over as singles, and
WWF doesn't need any more tag teams).
Rock is summoned by stooges, McMahon also wants to see him.
DOA vs Bradshaw/Farooq It's amazing how the announcers are stunned by these two being a tag team, considering everyone on the net knew it... not to mention it was blatantly obvious since Jackal approached them both. "Wow, they have the same clothes! what's going on here?" Gee, I have no idea. Bradshaw looks funny in those tights and armbands, but no worse than he did in cowboy chaps. I couldn't care less about this match, which didn't happen, since Bradshaw and Farooq destroyed DOA and then double teamed Ellering.
New Age Outlaws interview
The best part of Heat, in my quite biased opinion. Jesse James got an
eyebrow ring! yeeeee! Cute! I love piercings! =) (Billy got one too, and it
looks nice, but I don't have a crush on him, so he just gets that
sidenote.) Road Dogg does a cute "it's not fair!" whining joke-intv, and
then gets cut off when Headbangers, Dlo and Mark Henry come in and there's
a bit of a backstage brawl.
Sable out to ring She whines that she guarantees she'll be champ. Mero comes out to tell here that Jackie will hurt her, and to back out because she's not a wrestler and never will be. (Damn straight!) Jackie comes in and attacks her from behind, hitting her with the belt. Of course, after I finish cheering for Jackie, I get sad, realising that the bookers are gonna do terrible things with that match.
Steve Blackman/Gangrel (with Brood) Is it me, or is this like a Shotgun card? Anyway, this match isn't as good as it should be, considering the skill/style of Blackman and Gangrel. Gangrel gets the win, and then the Blue Blazer flies in, but gets stuck on his line, and gets smacked around by Blackman before he gets pulled back up and away. A rather lame bit, if you ask me.
McMahon calls out the Rock, Shane, and Austin. He's about to talk to them, when Undertaker comes out. Austin and UT fight a bit, then XPac comes out. Followed by Bossman, Mankind, Goldust, Regal, Shamrock and Al Snow. Now that there is a full on brawl, McMahon's face (at ringside) is hilarious. The show ends with Kane coming to the ring.
Sable interview backstage: "Jackie pissed me off, I guarantee I'll be champ" *sigh* Noooooooo.
Jeff Jarrett (with the lion lady) vs Al Snow
Is it me, or is Debra about two degrees from being the plastic surgery lion
lady? Nice sign in the crowd, "Jarrett: the man you hate to love to hate"
This match ends on a "illegal object volley". The ref takes head, Al grabs
the guitar, grandma distracts the ref, Jarrett gets head, the ref gets the
guitar, Al gets the head, and hits Jarrett with it while the ref puts the
guitar out of the ring. Al Snow wins. yay.
By the way, I loved Al's pigtail. If he wore his hair in two pigtails, I
tell you, I'd be in love with him. *girlie grin*
Shamrock interviews. I forget what he said, if anything.
Boss Man vs Austin
Not a bad match, not a great match. It seems weird to see Boss Man in the
ring. He's like a joke to me, and I think it's his personae more than
anything. Austin wins with a DQ, after Boss Man gets carried away with his
nightstick.
we're running through matches at a break neck pace here, folks. 10 minute time limit will do that to ya.
XPac vs Steven Regal
I can't help but sing along and giggle like a school girl when that song
comes on. My roommate and I mark out so bad when it does, we had our two
non-wrasslin fan friends watching for that... "what the hell... it's the
trojan condoms song!" Not a bad match, with all the usual XPac match
prerequisites in place. (Not that it's a bad thing) The match goes to a
double DQ time limit match. McMahon orders that there be a 5 minute
overtime in the match, so Austin won't get a bye, but XPac walks out, and
Regal follows. So there.
Austin gets a bye, and McMahon is not happy.
Shamrock vs Goldust
hmmmmmm... I love Goldust but I also know he doesn't have a shot in hell
here. He loses by ankle lock submission. Unfortunate. I am really tired of
ankle lock submissions, aren't you?
We find out that SCSA refused medical attention after getting beaten by Boss Man with the nightstick.
Rock vs HHH
Paterson and Brisco come out- crotch chopping all the way to DX music- HHH didn't make it and he will be fined
heavily. There will also not be a forefit, as they have a replacement. Now,
for a brief second, I marked out and said, "Shawn? Shawn?" But no.. Boss Man.What a letdown. I was really hoping to see HHH and Chyna. But, what can ya do? I'd also rathers ee his injury heal, than see heim pushed to return to the ring faster than he should.
So... we have...
Rock vs Bossman
4 second match. As soon as the bell rings, Rock rolls Boss Man up for the
pin. Well damn. Way to shoot Boss Man's credibility just a bit more.
Round 2:
Undertaker vs Kane
The funniest moment of the night, for me, was hearing the ref say, "Back
off Paul, just back it off!" The match was... well, have you ever seen Kane
and the Undertaker fight? Well... Kane has it won, when Paul Bearer
distracts him, and Undertaker manages to tombstone him for the pin. Paul
Bearer also holds down the leg of Kane.
Mankind vs Al Snow
The best match of the night, by far. Which is what I was expecting, to be
honest. We find out that McMahon put socko on head. We see some decent
work from both of them. And then we see... Mankidn get socko back, for the
mandible claw with Socko. The best part, though was Al Snow laughing his
way through the mandible claw. Long live Mankind and Al Snow. They both
freaking rule.
Shamrock vs Rock
The BossMan comes out, and there is a "Boss Man sucks" chant. But that was
only a matter of time. Shamrock does a nice huracanrana into an ankle
lock, but Rock grabs the rope. He then gets a DDT on Shammy. Boss Man
distracts the ref and he gets a lowblow into a people's elbow. Boss Man
goes to throw his nightstick to Shamrock, but Rock catches it and hits
Shammy to get the pin.
Sable vs Jackie (for the women's belt)
Well... no need to comment here. Everyone knows how I feel. "the guide to
making a belt worthless" exhibit a. Poor Jackie. Why make her job like
that? boo! hisssss! boo! hissss!
Round 3:
Mankind vs Austin
Interestingly, Austin pulled off Mankind's shoes and Jacket. Well, someone
had to. I was wondering how he could possibly wrestle in that get up.
Mankind just gets out of a stunner, and runs off, only to get pulled back
to the ring by the stooges. They fight some more, Austin lands the stunner,
and when the ref goes to make the count, McMahon jumps up (Good God! he can
walk!) and beats the ref up. Shane comes in to make the count, and makes a
two count, only to give Austin the finger and run out of the ring. Brisco
gets a chair shot on Austin, and Mankind gets the win.
(and the first major wrasslin' fight between roommate boy and myself
commences. "BULLSHIT" he says. "NO WAY! YESSSSSSS! FOLEY! FOLEY!" I say.
"Oh, screw this, all I wanted... Austin is the damn champ" he says.
"Noooo! Foley deserves it! He's gonna win! he's gonna do it!! yessssssss!"
And so on...
Undertaker vs The Rock
Pretty decent fight, I must say. As much as I don't like the Rock, I will
admit he can work. Boss Man comes out and stands by. Rock goes for a
people's elbow, and Boss Man knocks him down. Undertaker has the win, it
seems, when Kane comes out and chokeslams the Rock, getting Undertaker
disqualified, and giving the win to the Rock.
Undertaker hits the ref, and then Kane and Undertaker fight a bit.
Mankind interview: "Lady luck is smiling down on me.. I've one more rock to climb, if you smell what the sock is cooking".
New Age Outlaws vs Henry/D'Lo vs Headbangers for the tag titles
Billy is wearing downright indecent shorts. Why doesn't Road Dogg ever
wear cut-out-cheek shorts? (joking! honest!)Well, I must say, a triple
threat tag team match is sloppy and horrible to watch, esp. when Mark Henry
is involved. This was one of those frustrating, "Damnit, why do you sell
moves so damn well, Roadie?" matches, which just made me mark like no
tomorrow. Honestly, I hated this match, but was really happy to see Billy
get the pin and my boys retain their belts. Jesse James grabbed the mic,
"Headbangers, get yerself a couple'a WWF merchandise catalogues and order
up some IC belts" LOL. =) Billy moons the crowd and shows us his
g-string. Well, I never. ;p
I'd like to comment, at this time, on the fact that I have never seen signs as big as the ones in the Keihl center last night. What the hell? It was like growth hormone injected signs that spanned entire sections. Shheeessssh. Let's hope that's not a trend- it's hard enough to see at live shows, without 17 foot banners.
Mankind vs The Rock (for the WWF belt)
Shane and Vince come out, since we now know they're in digs. This was a
great match, with Foley's spot of the night being laying Rock out on the
announcer's table and then taking some sort of weird jump on him. There
was the obligatory jump through the Spanish announcer's table as well. of
course. Only from the second rope, though. (Thankfully. I want Mick in one
piece). Mankind gets the mandible claw on with socko. I mark out. I'm up.
I'm yelling... yes! yes! and.. the Rock gets out of it. Oh crap. No one
gets out of the mandible claw. And then we see the double cross... Rock
gets Mankind in a sharpshooter (hmmmmmm) and McMahon calls for the bell,
and gives the belt to the rock. because they were in digs all along.
What a load of crap. McMahon is happy that Austin was screwed in the ring.
he used Mankind. Shane is "just like his dad, after all". The Rock wants
"each and every piece of trailer park trash in the arena to kiss his ass".
Mankind, like a sad boy, says, "Dad, I thought I had to be pinned or submit?"
And McMahon says, "get this..." and the Rock attacks him. *sigh* How...
how much of a letdown.
Mankind... was... screwed!
Austin comes in, Shane and Vince flee, he stuns the rock, throws him out of
the ring, and throws the belt at him. And then, in a particularly suck ass
move, he stunned Mankind.
*sigh* how... *sigh*
Afterwards, I caught some of the Home Shopping Network. with luck, I tuned in right when New Age Outlaws started to interview. Cute. Funny. Hey, I'll buy anything they want to sell me. *grin* Actually, they were selling the t-shirt that I want, for $15.95... so maybe I'll call in tomorrow. They were being silly, and pretty much being themselves. I like. I'm glad I had a tape in. The Rock interviewd, and he was an ass. But that might be biased. Austin interviewed as well. All 4 of them seemed drunk. It was amusing, and seemed a lot less scripted than most wwf stuff.
And that's that. 2/3 titles changed hands. And while I am glad the tag
belts are the same, I reserve the right to bitch about the women's champ as
well as the world champ.
the people's champ? In the words of my roommate, "Not my champ"!
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