Stone Cold arrives at the arena with a smile. McMahon comes out to address the crowd, acting up a storm. He holds SCSA responsible for all the horrible things he's done to him, but he also holds each and every fan responsible as well. "I've lost all faith in humanity! Where are your morals? Your values? Whatever happened to the good samaratin? Where were you in my time of need?" Of course, he's getting the "asshole" chant, and Lawler quips in, "what are they saying, JR?"
Steve Blackman vs X-Pac (European Belt)
The match should have been better! I was looking forward to a nice display of martial arts-wrestling, but it seemed slow. I think this was mostly due to Blackman, but such is life. Steven Regal comes in, attacks X-Pac, and Lawler/JR can't help but call him "a man's man" about 17 times in the three minute run in. Looks like they're going to let him try for the European title pretty soon, huh? Road Dogg and Billy Gunn come in to help X-Pac, and the match never finishes, with X-Pac retaining the belt.
we see McMahon in the back, telling attorneys to "break it", and Austin in a dressing room with his name on it.
Droz (with DOA) vs The Rock
Supposedly, Droz has "breathed new life into DOA." I'd tend to say DOA sucked life from Droz, but, ya know it's all open to interpretation. Hawk and Animal stoof by the saide of the ring, offering support for their teammate. The Rock basically kicked his ass. The announcing was interesting, with Lawler pondering the question, "whatever happened to Rocky sucks?" JR said the fans gained respect for his developing career and other blah blah blah, but honestly... I dunno. They managed to turn a great heel into an uninteresting face who will clearly be pushed to an Austin level. Looks like success is short-lived these days, no? Anyway, Rocky gets the win, people's elbow into rockbottom. After the loss, Droz pushes Hawk off and walks backstage with Animal. ooh, the intrigue. It seems obvious to me that Hawk will end up with Ellering down the road, since he's been causing the DOA to lose a lot lately, by accidentially hitting one of them with his briefcase.
Austin in locker room, Cole goes for the interview. He turns to someone in the back and says, "i've been advised not to say anything now, but We'll say something later on."
Motley Crue
New Age Outlaws come out and give the intro over to the band, with them being the "tag team champions of rock n roll." Ultimately, I feel gypped, since so many sites were promising that Road Dogg was going to *sing* and it was even promised on Heat. hell, i was looking forward to seeing Motley Crue just for that. And all I get is some backup vocals from XPac and Billy (since the mic never really got near Road Dogg). Bah. Not cool.
McMahon is yelling at lawyers to break contract. All the announcers act as if no one in the world had a clue that's what it was...
Kane vs Gangrel
Uh oh. Now I thought this was one of the better matches that Kane has had in a while. he was just on or something. My problem? The announcing. "Kane has been lonely lately... he's looking for allies, he's been alone for the first time ever since Paul Bearer turned on him..." I see this going somewhere very ugly, with two horrible possible teamings. One, they could make him a part of the "Clan Gangrel" which would be sad, or even sadder, put him with the Oddities, which I really and truly hope no one would think of as an actual answer. See, I like Kane. I think he has a great presence, and in person, he really does look like the demonic monster that they paint him up to be. To make him a face is stupid- make him a raging, venegful monster, who will, a few months down the road "destroy" his brother. Just give it some time to develop. anyway, Christian tries to pull him off the ropes, but gets kicked in the face instead. Kane chokeslams Gangrel and gets the win. Christian flies off the top rope at Kane, who doesn't fall. Gangrel and Christian double team kane, Edge comes in and joins in the attack (huh?) all having no effect on Kane who does the zombie sit up. Afterwards, in a completely unexplained angle turn, Edge calls Christian and Gangrel to him, and they leave through the crowd together.
Austin enters the ring.
" I told those cops the gun was a toy, and it was. I told ya Vince you wouldn't feel any pain, and you didn't. You pissed in your pants like a baby, anyway... Maybe you should believe Stone Cold next time he tells you something... or maybe you shouldn't." He has a "new contract" with the WWF that guarantees ar least one title shot, which he says is all he'll need. "I've got you by those little brass balls of yours, and the only way I'll be leaving is if I quit, which I won't be doing". Mc Mahon comes out, and Austin pops off, "Rool on down here, I'll gladly change your little diaper for you" (is that a real insult? ;) McMahon decides that Austin will fight Shamrock in an "I quit" match.
McMahon goes into a long speech, asking Austin how he can sleep at night, saying how he got that contract was evil, and how he sacrificed for 28 years, and how Austin turned a "relatively incompetant, underachieving kid into a monster".
Shane McMahon enters the ring. he gives an even longer speech about how nothing he ever did was right for Vince, and that he was the one that gave the contract to Austin. Something along the lines of, "I finally have your attention after 28 years... and the lies about how great it was to be Vince's boy stopped there". Vince was great during this, with tears in his eyes and a look of genuine hurt on his face. I actually felt bad for the guy, he played it up so well.
Austin chimes in, "If you think Vince got what he had coming, give me a hell yeah" and of course, got it.
after the commercial, Shane is leaving the building, and Austin yells, "hey kid" and throws him a beer. It was one of the funnier moments of the night.
Tiger Ali Singh (with Babu) vs Godfather (with no hos)
Godfather tells Singh that he will not be offering him any hos tonight, but he'll still show him pimpin' aint easy. Singh has on a little wrestling suit, which isn't quite what I exepected him to wear in the ring, but that's okay. He's not great, by any means, and neither is Godfather, so... The match was mostly a brawl. Sigh made sure to hit Babu for toweling him off, and Godfather hit Sigh with a belt. It ended when the ref called for the bell, because the match was "out of control" I suppose. Really, they were just rolling around punching each other.
ICP, Kurrgan and Golga vs Kaientai
For the love of all... Kaientai and the Oddities is NOT a good fight. Repeat after me, Kaientai and the Oddities is not a good fight. Now, repeat this also: It's sad that the Clown guys are better wrestlers than the Oddities. The match was lame, as can be expected by this sort of matchup, with Kaientai winning by DQ after ICP, the rebels that they are, "broke every rule in the book". All the Oddities were mad at them, and Luna chased them backstage, yelling and hitting at them. I wish they'd just let her wrestle now that there is a women's belt again. And give her a better gimmick.
Shamrock interview: He says, "I quit. Listen up Austin, because that's the only time you'll ever hear me say those words." He goes on to say you have to earn a chance at his belt. Why would Austinw ant *his* belt when he's been the World Champ, and is still in the running for that??
Marc Mero vs Goldust
Goldust humps the ropes upon entering the ring, which I found to be hilarious. Goldust is great, and I hope they put him back as the "master of mindgames". Anyway, the match plods along, and jackie distracts Goldust, who is the recipient of a low blow from Mero. I have a question. Why is it that Mero yanks his shorts up to his chest like that? It's quite disturbing looking. At some point in the match, Jackie hits Goldust who kisses her, in the strangest display I've seen in a while. He ties Mero up in the ropes, does the low-blow kick, and the bell is rung. I'm pretty sure Mero got the win by DQ, but Goldust's music played, and he stalked Jackie for a bit as well.
Sable comes out and says she'll fight jackie at Survivor Series, and that there will be a new women's champion. Two words for you: HELL NO! Two more: Jackie rules!
New Age Outlaws vs Mankind and Al Snow
Pre-match interview: They ask mankind how he feels about Al: "Al is an exceptional wrestler, and you need that when going against the tag team champions, but I have to say, head, with the exception of the people's elbow, is the stupidest thing..." Al cuts him off an says, "this coming from a man who talks to a sock..." and then turns to head and says, "I'm sorry, I had to tell him" and mankind says, "Of course he's just a sock, I drew him myself but isn't he cute? One word for you: SOCKO!" Al chimes in "Head" "Socko" "Head".
New Age Outlaws come out and do their usual intro. Mankind comes out, Al comes out and there are tons of heads in the crowd. The match is standard, with my favourite, Road Dogg, getting thrown around a whole hell of a lot. Mankind copies Road Dogg's dancing, looking like a chicken, and proving that he just might not be such a great dancer for a large man, after all.
Mankind pulls out Socko, and for the first time ever, I'm yelling "no, no Mandible claw!" but Billy comes in and knocks both Al and mankind down. mankind grabs for head, but Al stops that, Al lands a snowplow on Road Dogg, but the ref isn't in the ring to call it, Mankind goes after him with Socko, but Al stops him because he wants to hit him with Head, their "discussion" allows Roaddogg to roll up Al Snow for the pin. D'Lo and Mark Henry come to the ring, and start beating on NAO. Huge D'Lo sucks chant. Al And Mankind are outside the ring, somehow holding each other's "friends". they make the trade off and walk away. I love any and all interatcion between these two, and if they both do interviews of their usual quality, this could be a great feud or teaming, and it could go either way quite easily.
Austin vs Shamrock, "I quit" match
Hmmm... I didn't pay that much attention to the match (Shamrock bores me) but i do know that Mankind came in, got the mandible claw on Shamrock, and Austin got the win by tapping Shamrock's hand out. He then stunnded Brisco, Paterson, and anyone else in his way. As always.
All in all. it was standard, if you ask me. The NAO versus Al Snow and Mankind was great, but i'd rather not see my favourites fight my favourites any time soon, and I'm still not ready to see them give up the tag belts, thank you. Motley Crue, I could have done without as well. I'm also hoping that McMahon doesn't make a habit of the long McMahon family speeches every week, Shane can't quite work the mic/act just yet. And that's all.
