Well, well. We start with Vince leaving Shane in charge of everything, while he heads off to train for the Royal Rumble and to get an Xmas bonus for the corporation. Patterson and Brisco are responsible for everything. So you just know this will be funny. Shane is asked to keep his temper and his ego in check.
Shane has the keys to the kingdom...things will be done "my way"
DX comes out. HHH: "you may have kings to the kingdom, but DX has keys to the boiler room." Mankind comes out at this point. (and I am so psyched at this point in viewing: combining Mankind and DX? Weird choice, but they're both my favourites, so what the hell?)
Shane: "What, is this a loser convention? You're all like the bad news bears of wrestling"
HHH:The only bad news is you're a bigger asshole than your dad" of course, this brings on the "asshole" chant
Shane: NAO: Mr Ass and Mr Dogg, you're not tag team material like BossMan and Shamrock (editor's note: COUGH) there will be no rematch. But Billy will fight Shamrock and RoadDogg will fight BossMan.
"Mankind, you deranged freak, no one puts his hands on my dad without payback (I thought Austin did all the tume!) it'll be you against... me tonight"
Mankind: "Shane, in response to your little challenge, all I have to say is..." And he laughs hysterically, along with DX. HHH tells the corp. to suck it, as does Mankind, who is also crotch chopping. FUNNY STUFF.
D'Lo and Mark Henry are backstage, and sexual chocolate is gonna get some lovin', even though D'Lo is against the idea.
Al Snow vs Gangrel
Decent, if short, match. Al and Gangrel both work. Al hits the snowplow for the win, then the lights go out and he's attacked by Brood, who do another bloodbath. The JOB Squad comes out, and Al is going crazy from it. Interesting, though they need to start explaining this stuff more. Why would they just throw blood on someone?
Billy Gunn vs Shamrock
This fight starts slow, and never REALLY picks up, with Shamrock doing a lot of work on Billy's knee. I really think Billy is better in tag team situations, but what can you do? Billy gets the pin, though, and is declared IC Champion. (yaaaay! no more nipples!) But no- Shawn comes out and says the belt was never on the line. Bah. Billy moons Shawn and Shamrock attacks him.
Hawk comes out to tell Droz's secret. Droz was his pusher. What a carppy angle. Droz hits Hawk, Animal comes out and hits Droz, and the whole thing reeks of suck. Droz has WAY more potential than this. Boo. hiss.
Henry/D'Lo: Jackie and Terri are the women in question he wants to get his grrove on with. They're ready for him. And I question why, out of all the guys in the WWF, they want me to believe that Mark Henry is a super stud. D'Lo is way cuter (girlie mode on)
Steve Blackman vs Blue Blazer
Owen Hart comes out and yells that Blackman is a liar and he's not the blazer. The fight happens. You know, I love Blazer's music. Lawler and Cole discuss the Blazer situation with Owen and he says the tape of the last week was doctored to make it look like it was him. Cole points out that Raw was live that week. Owen comments that if OJ and Clinton can get off, there's reasonable doubt that wasn't him. Then he jumps in the ring and attacks. Goldust comes down, catches the Blazer, who is Jarrett tonight. Ah well.
Henry/D'LO: Jackie and Terri take a shower and Henry watches. yup.
Roaddogg vs Bossman
After doing the intro, Roaddogg says, "It's a damn shame this isn't for the title, but I guess you're afraid I'll take that piece of garbage from you. I'm from Cobb County, and I got a good lookin' cousin that spent time in correctional facility... he says you get funky with the nightsticks... too bad you're too chickenshit to put the belt on the line" So of course, Bossman makes it a title match.
Lots of weapons in this one, lots of fighting in the crowd. I question just WTF you call Bossman's hair, and realise I hate him more than Jeff Jarrett these days. He's horrible. Boo hiss. He tries to strangle RoadDogg in the crowd, but Roaddogg takes him out, jumping off one of the barricades. Finally, Mankind comes out and throws a net on Bossman, hits him hard and Roaddogg gets the pin. YAAAAAY! NEW HARDCORE CHAMPION! Whoooo! Pixie happy. In your face, screwy-hair bossman.
Jackie and Terri are stripping Henry. they put a collar on him. They ball gag him. they massage him. they put whipped creme on him. All in all, it's a nasty scene.
Jarrett promo on what pissses him off. I still say it sounds like Dennis Leary. And dude, that's NOT a compliment.
Paterson and Brisco try to talk Shane out of fighting Mankind
Acolytes vs JOB Squad
Could you care any less? I don't think I could. I appreciate not having to see Jackal, but otherwise. I also realised it's not Scorpio that bugs me as much as Holly, who I've never liked, even when he was over as "sparkplug" Holly. Scorpio, Al Snow, Blue Meanie... there's your job squad. Anyway, the match ends witha DQ for the Acolytes for brawling. ooh, the shock.
Shane McMahon vs Mankind
Why does Shane come out to the Brawl For All Music? As if we forgot about that whole ordeal? It sounded funny to me. Anyway, Shane is from the "streets of Greenwich", according to Lawler. mankind gets a chair and offers it to Shane. He tells him to "make your daddy proud, lay me out. Show some balls you gutless coward" and Shane slams Mankind with the chair, who doesn't even move. hahah. Mankind then proceeds to open a can of whup ass on Shane. Paterson and Brisco come to his aid, and Mankind actually grabs paterson by the balls and leads him around the ring about. This is a great comedy bit. Socko! out, Mankdible Claw on Shane. XPac comes out and delivers a bronco buster to Shane. Oh, I only WISH he had yelled, "you like the move so much, bitch? Here, have another!" or something to that effect, but he didn't. Rocka nd Team Corporate are in, but DX clears the ring with Mankind. Cool stuff. DX and Mankind: perfect together.
D'Lo/Henry vs headbangers
So Henry is now whipped and clamped, as D'Lo is trying to get him to come out to the ring. ick. D'Lo comes out to fight the match alone, and Lawler is commentating on Henry backstage, mentioning "hot wax" and "gerbils". Oh man. Yuck. Cole is calling the match and Lawler is marking out for the match really bad. After D'Lo loses (double teaming) Henry stumbles out in his boxers, and D'LO says, ": I told your fat ass, you should have listened to me". You know, D'Lo is the rising star here. Is this is the best angle they can give him?
Brisco/Paterson are waiting for McMahon... The first thing out of Brisco's mouth is "it wasn't my fault" and Vince runs off to make sure Shane is okay.
HHH/XPac vs Rock/Test
Shawn says DX has to go backstage, but the corp can stay. Vince allows DX to stay for a surprise. The match is pretty good, though I am not a fan of "test" (what a stupid name! stupid!) I thought he was less than impressive, lanky, and despite everyone saying he looked like Nash, he doesn't look like him at all. The match goes on, and then the lights go out... Kane in. He enters the ring as the corp and DX are brawling. He chokeslams all of DX, and as the show ends, grabs Chyna. Now, Scoops was reporting he didn't actually chokeslam her at the show, and that the corp talked him out of it. Damnit. Now the mark side of me says, "don't chokeslam Chyna, she rules" but the more rational side of me says, "Screw that, chokslam her as well". Why? Because I want to see women who can fight take the moves that the men do. I'm tired of this weird gender rule in an industry that doesn't have that many rules or standards. Damnit all, let the women fight and be fought.
And that's that.
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