16 November 1998
Oh, first, I'd like to comment that the first hour of Nitro sucked, but
started off GREAT with Kidman vs Juvi. Damn fine match, prolly the best
actual wrestling of the whole night. Those boys can work. And Juvi took the
belt, though, to be honest, they both deserved it after putting on a
helluva match.
Too bad the rest of the first hour was so boring. Ah well.
Onward...
Hmmm, new Raw beginning. More of a montage, and it seems, while done by the
same band, the song is a bit different as well.
The show starts with the mcMahons and the stooges, as well as Boss Man
getting to the ring. Vince starts right in with, "whoever said you can't
fool all of the people all of the time was a damn fool". And then he adds,
"a damn fool does things the hard way, embraces middle class ethics and
values, and doesn't pucker up and kiss the boss' ass". he then introdcues-
"no damn fool... not the people's chant, but the corporate champ, the Rock".
And, beautifully, the crowd chants, "Rocky sucks".
"he Rock never sold out, he just got ahead," says the Rock,adding, "you are
all unintelligent trailer park trash. But the biggest trailer park trash is
Austin. You and Austin can have your morality, your blood, sweat and
tears... that and fifty cents could buy you a redneck beer." boos abound.
"Die Rocky Die? Rocky sucks? The Rock never, ever forgot that and is gonna
make sure you never forget as well. The Rock plans to raise the Pe- I'm
sorry, the corporate eyebrow, plans on laying the smack down with the most
electrifying move in sports entertainment, the corporate elbow."
Vince breaks in, and asks, "I've always wondered- what's it like to kiss
Vince McMahon's ass?"
Shane: "I kind of like it"
Rocky "He's a millionaire, if you do smell what the Rock's cooking".
Vince then calls everyone's attention to the Titantron, where they will be
showing how they pulled it all off. Vince looks up and says, "hey, I look
pretty good", which I believe was the laugh of the night. Then the
Titantron shows Austin arriving, which, of course, gets a huge pop.
Vince yells, "get him off! get him off of there!" And then shows the whole
affair of decieving the people. Shane gets all excited and says, "Can you
show the footage of the screwing of SCSA?"
Austin comes out at that point.
McMahon: "Look at the lumps on your face! You get beat up last night?"
Austin: "If you think the Rock is a sorry sell out son of a bitch, give me
a hell yeah." Of course, he gets the hell yeah.
Austin has a contract which says he gets to have a title shot tonight, and
has it validated by a judge in Ky. And if that's not enough, well (LOL)
Judge Mills Lane (prolly the second most entertaining thing on TV, after
wrasslin).
So Austin will get a title shot against the Rock tonight.
New Age Outlaws/Xpac vs Oddities
yeeeeeeeeesh. Oddities have the clowns back. I can only shudder and ask
why, and pity the fact that we have to hear them and their song some more.
New Age Outlaws do a good intro, then fight as well as they can, given
their opponents, the lumbering fools. (Sidenote: WHEN will Luna just up and
join the Brood, or manage Goldust again? Soon! please!) So DX wins the
match when one of the clowns accidentially hits Golga, thinking it was
Billy. (Hey, I tell you, I'll stop watching if Golga even thinks about
wearing those shorts *grin*)
Oddities walk out, yelling at the clowns for costing them another match.
Headbangers attack Jesse James in the aisle, and Billy/XPac get there a tad
late. Blah. Go away Headbangers.
Mankind arrives at the arena, saying, "Vince, I wouldn't want to be in your shoes because I'm coming home" and promptly heads to the boiler room.
Vince is backstage talking to teh stooges about not wanting to worry about Mankind, and sends Pat Paterson to find him.
Shamrock comes to the ring. I hate his nipples. It's just a quirk I have... there is something about them that strikes me as wrong. Oh yeah, he gave a speech, and challanged Boss Man to a fight, putting the IC title on the line.
Val Venis vs Mark Henry
Val's quote tonight: "So this is the Bluegrass State, home of the Kentucky
Derby. Well, Ladies, if you wanna cross the finish line in first place,
hop aboard this stallion... bare back".
The match carries on. Henry is... well... Henry. So you know it's not good.
BUT! BUT! Chyna comes out, in vunyl pants. *droooool*. She distracts Henry,
and Val gets the win. Henry: "Hey girlfriend, how you doing? All I want is
a nice dinner, no sex involved (shudder, shudder) I wrote you a poem"
Chyna just walks away, and spends entirely too little time on camera for my
tastes. D'Lo hugs Mark Henry.
Pat Paterson couldn't find the boiler room, so jerry Brisco says he can.
Goldust/Steve Blackman vs Jeff Jarret/Blue Blazer (with Lion Lady)
Lawler gets in his "is it cold in here" comment of the night. This Blazer
is obviously not Owen Hart. Blackman pins the Blazer while Jarrett and
Goldust fight outside the ring, and goes to unmask him, when the ref stops
him. Owen Hart comes in, and starts to fight with Blackman. And now we
don't know who the Blazer is. And you know what? I just refuse to care.
Jerry Brisco found the boiler room, but heard weird noises and wouldn't go in. So Slaughter goes. And Vince wants to have words with the Rock about the title match.
Steven Regal vs Godfather
I realised something: Regal's face is always like that because he smells
what the Rock is cooking. (hahah, I slay me). Lawler is singing along as
the song ends, which cracked me up, since my roommate and I were doing a
hell of a rendition ourselves. We wait for that damn song.
Kansas has "the best hos ever born" JR: "I didn't know that".
There's a sign in the crowd: "Pimpin' ain't easy, I should know"
Godfather offers all three hos, and Regal accepts. "Last I checked, my name
was Steven Regal and not Elton John, so I'll take the broads" Godfather,
as soon as Regal and the hos get down the aisle, says, "I didn't think
you'd take the hos, so to quote Archie Bunker, "England is nothing but a
place full of fags"". Regal's face, at this point, is hilarious, and a
brawl enuses.
Kane is backstage, outside, by the trucks, chokeslamming crew people.
Shamrock vs Boss Man (for the intercontinental belt)
This match is basically a brawl, as the announcers keep telling us. There
is a double DQ, and the refs all have to come break it up. McMahon comes
out and asks what they're doing, yells that they better stop, and invites
Shamrock to go corporate, and join the family. Which he does. This is
starting to become too much of a faction, I dare say.
Kane backstage- attacks an autograph seeker, and a cop car pulls up.
Gangrel/Edge (with Christian) vs LOD 2000
Match starts. I admire Droz's tattoos, as always, and question, again, why
they didn't push him as a singles wrestler some more. Hawk comes out and
climbs the Titantron. I'm saying, "NO WAY he'll take that bump. he's not
Foley!"
Animal and Droz leave the ring and get counted out, so Brood gers the win.
Hawk is going to "go out in glory". Ellering comes out and addresses Hawk
like an old friend, talking about how he and his family cares about his
life, and how his son still calls him uncle. He begs Hawk to come down.
Meanwhile, Droz climbs the scaffolding, and Hawk falls off, after, it looks
like Droz pushed him. This could actually be an interesting angle...
An ambulance leaves with Hawk, and ellering is there, looking upset, while DOA looks on.
Sable comes out and whines about how she worked hard for the belt and it's
a dream come true. How touching. She dedicates it to the fans that made
Sable. Shane comes out and says how his dad made Sable, through
unbelievable investment-- posters, magazines, tv spots (I was just WAITING
for him to say "multiple boob jobs" and if he had, Shane would have been a
god in my book.)
Sable says she worked hard, and Shane says, "that's what a lot of women
like you say." And then she says all he knows about women are the ones he
buys, and that she's not for sale. And while it is nice to see her have a
backbone, I still think Jackie should have the belt. So blah.
Stooges are wearing helmets and football gear to go into the boiler room. they go in, saying, "Mick? Miiiick... Mankind? Mick, we love you, Mick" and they all get their asses royally beaten with metal poles, garbage can covers and other assorted things in the boiler room. Go Mick!
McMahon, Shane, Shamrock and Boss Man come to the ring. Vince isn't happy about this match, but this is Austin's last shot. All through the "asshole chant". The Rock comes out, and JR says, "Can you see who's but he'ss kissin'?" heehee. Go JR.
Austin vs The Rock
Nicely worked match, which is what I was expecting from these two. they
should have saved it for a PPV when there would have been more time for it
to really heat up. Mankind comes out, and BossMan/Shamrock double team him
while Vince taunts him. I'm just waiting to see Mankind go completely ape
shit and kill them all. *grin* It's just sad the way they treat him. Yes,
he's a character, but much like Kane, a sympathetic character, all the way.
Austin gets the stunner on The Rock, and after a rwo count, Shamrock pulls the ref off. Austin has it won, though, and goes back for the count again, when Undertaker knocks him down with a shovel, getting the Rock disqualified, but also keeping the belt. Paul Bearer stops Undertaker from hitting Austin again, and the show ends.
And that's that. Looks like the Rock will have the belt for a while, esp. since the December PPV is called "Rock Bottom". I don't think anyone ever loses at a PPV that has their name in it. As far as I remember, anyway. Other than that, I'm left to ponder why NAO are almost always the first match. I'm also left to ponder when the Women's division will have some real heat, some real matches (both for the belt and not for the belt) and actually be worth a damn. A decent match between Luna and Jackie would be great. There you have it.
return to main page
