"No!" I shrieked, horrified. Ever since finding out Roger was my father, something inside me had changed. Maybe I'd changed, I didn't know. All I knew was that things were a lot different than they'd just been a couple of seconds ago.
Without thinking (Numair's lessons had worked so) my telekinesis and Element Magic streaked towards him. Attacked by his own magic, Chitral grunted and momentarily staggered. That was enough. Using every bit of stamina and agility I possessed, I dodged Chitral and flung myself in front of Roger, unable to believe I was doing this.
"What are you doing?" Chitral asked, disbelief and astonishment in his voice.
How could I tell him, when I didn't quite know myself? That was the truth, I didn't know why I was doing this. Roger had been my enemy ever since I had come to Tortall, constantly after me, fighting me, undermining me subtly. But I had also learned he had done this to be constantly near me, to be able to protect me from Chitral, who was turning out to be the real enemy and had been all along.
I didn't know what to believe anymore.
"He's my father," I said softly. "He's blood, he's family. Family protect each other. That's something you can't understand Chitral, you've never had a family, and because of your selfishness you ensured I would never have had a real family as well. If you try and kill him Chitral, you'll have to kill me as well. It's that simple."
For one long moment that seemed to be hours, Chitral stared at me. His eyes were unreadable, and I felt like I was being scrutinised, that my soul had been dragged out and was up for view. I didn't avert my gaze and just stared back, my face pale and proud. And then something changed in Chitral's eyes.
Then it was gone and it was all just anger. "This may be over for the moment Rachel, but I shall have what was meant for me. If not you, I will have something that is of value to you. I will not be left alone." Then, before I could even blink, he was gone.
Then, I slowly sat down beside my unconscious father, and curled my legs up to my chest and draped my arms around my knees. Letting my head fall onto my arms, I just stared emptily at the opposite wall. It was over, for the time being. There had been no fight, in a way I was glad about that. I wouldn't have had the energy for a fight anyway and would have probably lost.
I felt empty, hollow, as if something was now gone. I had a feeling that was my innocence, but perhaps that had been gone for a long time, maybe even since Chitral had taken me away and put me in a different world. I didn't know, and couldn't be sure.
With a sigh, I tried to close my eyes and sleep. I certainly didn't know what was going to happen and how people were going to react when they learned who my real father was. I'd got strange looks before, when people had been told Chitral was my father. But I had a feeling Roger was going to be different. Much different.
I fell asleep.
When I opened my eyes and lifted my head, I knew instinctively that it was day. And then everything that had happened came back to me in a rush and I looked over at Roger. He looked better than he had been, the wound on his head clearing up slightly. He looked like he was waking up.
I remained motionless as he squeezed his eyes and groaned and hissed, as he turned his head from side to side. I looked down at him as he opened his eyes and looked up at me. His eyes widened and he opened his mouth slightly, as if about to say something, then shut it again. Obviously seeing me above him wasn't what he had expected.
"Hi," I said, then felt like kicking myself. Of all the things to say to your 'new' father! I coughed and quickly looked away, suddenly embarrassed.
He boosted himself up to a sitting position and looked at me, still startled, as if he couldn't believe what he was just seeing. "Hello." He seemed as awkward as I felt. Then he quickly looked around, as if what had happened had just come back to him. "Where's Chitral?"
"He's gone. He disappeared after we had a confrontation." A pause and then: "You didn't tell me you were my father." I suddenly found I was very interested in the ceiling.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Roger going deathly pale. I don't think he expected me to know that. Or maybe he just didn't think I'd know so soon. "W-What?" he stammered, and I gaped. The last thing I had expected Roger to do was stammer. But compared on what I'd just seen, maybe I shouldn't be so surprised to see *anything* anymore.
"Chitral told me the whole story. About bringing you back to life and taking me as the price. Taking me to a different world. Giving me the telekinesis and the Element Magic. How furious you were ... Why didn't you *tell* me?!" I burst out, suddenly angry.
Roger sighed, and I imagined he had a very bad headache about now, from the blow Chitral had given him and the pain I was giving him. I didn't feel one shred of sympathy for him, I wanted answers and I wanted them *now*.
"Chitral was right," he said at last. "I am your father, and your mother did give you up to get me back. That was foolish and wrong, you might have had a normal life -" (He didn't think the world I'd grown up in was *normal*? Jeez.) "- and wouldn't have gone through all this. My life was done, I'd made mistakes and I was paying. She shouldn't have made Chitral bring me back. The price for it was you."
"What happened to her?" I asked, wanting to know desperately. Perhaps she wasn't dead ...
Roger's next words dashed any remaining hope of my mother's life away. "She died soon after Chitral sent you to the other world, of a broken heart and grief, realising what she had done. I refused to have anything to do with her, I couldn't understand how she could have given you up." He looked at me, his eyes misting. "You got your violet eyes from her you know. I suppose they're her legacy to you, as well as the Wild Magic you possess." He paused for a moment. Then he said, "You know I can't come back with you."
"Why?!" I blurted out, unable to contain myself. "I mean, you're my father! Doesn't that mean anything?!" Suddenly, the thought of being separated *again* from him seemed so unfair. What had I done to deserve all of this? Live?
He smiled faintly at me. "In case you've forgotten, most of Tortall hate me. Once they learn I'm your father - it's not going to be easy for either of us." His eyes were sad. But all I felt was anger.
"So you're going to let me take it all on my own?!" I spat, still hurt. What was wrong with him?! Couldn't he see he had to stay?!
He sighed, looking very much in pain. "If I stay, it will only make things worse. Trust me. How do you think Jonathan and his family are going to react?" That silenced me. I hadn't thought about that. Then an icy feeling lodged in my stomach. Roald ... oh God, he'd kissed me! He was ... I did swift calculations in my head ... something like my second cousin. And kissing your second cousin was never good. Oh dear.
"They're not going to be happy about this," I whispered, suddenly afraid. For everything I had faced, I had never been this afraid. Suddenly just staying here didn't seem like such a bad idea. I winced. "They're going to go crackers."
"Crackers?" I fought the urge to laugh at Roger's puzzled face.
"Never mind." I fell silent again, studying the wall intently.
"Do you want to come with me?" His question startled me so much, I actually jumped. I looked at him and considered for a moment. To be with him, the father I had never known, to have family - real family - for the first time in my life. It was tempting, let me tell you. But ... I'd have to make friends all over again. And it wouldn't look very good for both me and Roger to have disappeared when the news of what we were to each other leaked out.
I kept staring at him and then, very slowly, shook my head. "I can't. I'm sorry, but I can't."
He nodded. "I understand. I would have been angrier if you had come with me anyway." I smiled faintly at him and he smiled back.
"What do we do now?" I asked, breaking the silence that had fallen upon us. I sighed and rubbed my eyes hard. I wanted to sleep.
Roger considered. "I can send you back to Neal and back to Pirate's Swoop - that is if you want to."
I nodded. "Yeah, yeah that sounds good." I took a deep breath, imagining the explaining I would have to do. It wasn't a very nice image.
He crawled over to me and kneeled, so we could see each other on the same level. His blue eyes bored into my violet ones. He took my hands in his and held them firmly. His hands were smooth and held mine firmly. I smiled crookedly at him. If someone had told me a few months ago that Roger was my father and that I'd have been on speaking terms with him ... well, let's just say my reaction would be interesting to say the least.
"I'll come and visit you eventually," he said quietly. I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. I'd a stupid lump in my throat ... Roger continued. "I've finally found you, after all of these years. I'm not going to let you go now, after everything we've been through. All right?"
I nodded, as sparkling orange fire began to gather around us. Just before he disappeared (or rather *I* disappeared), I whispered, "Love you Dad." And then he disappeared from my sight.
But as the darkness oozed and curled around me, I still remembered the words he spoken: "Love you too Rachel. I love you too."
