How Would You Know
This ache inside can define my emotion.
I can't bare to tell you how I feel.
If losing you was the price, then silence be my refuge.
If gaining you was the story, then let me babble on forever.
Let not how the past sway your feelings,
But let the future guide your heart.
Know that love conquers all;
You've proved victorious with that of yours.
Know that I'm here, I'm forever;
Let me gain trust and I will show you love.
You are the Love I never had
I suddenly realize why I've been so sad.
You are the love I never had.
Even though you don't like me,
I guess I'm glad.
I always laugh through pain I've had.
That way I don't feel too bad.
That way I won't feel so sad.
You are the love I never had.
I Guess That's Not Enough
I guess I could ignore you,
But it hurts too much.
I guess I could abandon you,
But that'll be too tough.
Or maybe I could hate you,
But you'll see through my bluff.
I could say I love you,
But I guess that's not good enough.
I'll Always Love You
For four years I tried to get over you.
For months I tried ignore you.
For weeks I tried to avoid you.
For days I tried to get mad at you.
But for eternity I will always love you.
A Rainy Monday
A rainy Monday, the hour the dead.
This mournful rain soaks through my head.
These driplets taunt a healthy dose.
As memories haunt, like a lonely ghost.
I sit and ponder what should've been,
Then was sadden by reality's wind.
And when she put me in her eyes,
The Heavens were filled with Cupid's cries,
For hours ago, I've already died,
For hours ago, I've already died.
Smile
Sometime I pretend to smile,
When the day seems so long
And living is more a chore.
Sometime I say I'm okay,
When my light heart seem heavy
And the hole that I've dug
Seems to get deeper.
Sometimes I go on,
Although I'm not going anywhere
And there's no one there to greet me.
Sometimes I cry,
Because I'm alone
And tortured by couples.
Sometimes I even laugh,
Although nothing seems to be funny
And I'm the one being made fun of.
Then only time I'm happy is when I'm alone.
There's no one to make fun of me,
Laugh at me,
Torture me,
Stare at me
And there's no one to hurt me.
I think I've been hurt enough.
Thoughts of Her
The thought of her glides silently through the empty nothingness of my thuumping heart
And with every thought, my heart skips a drumming beat.
To realize that I loved in vain saddens me
And moves me to showery tears.
The chambers to my heart tighten
And locks itself for she is an Aphrodite Robber who's stolen my heart once
And left me in dying pain I wish not relive.
Once I loved her undoubtingly and my heart dances,
Now I fear to mention her name
becuase I am weak to imagine the peircing pain of knives puncturing places and left porous.
Perhaps chancing the pain would lead to long awaited satification,
Then again I may risk hurt once more.
So I am left confused and longing and suffering
And dying.
Cheerful Night
Oh cheerful night, happy stars,
Make me smaile once more.
I've suffered too much
And been here before
Perhaps you've seen and laugh at me,
Cracked on how pathetic I am
To have loved and not loved.
To dream and not dreamt of.
To die and not died over.
I envy you brilliant present
And your abundant omniscient friends.
Never alone
Never unloved
Never hurt.
I wish one day to join your cult.
Watch over loners like me
And hope for them the best.
And every power bestode upon me
Give everyone powers
To love
To want
To dream
To hope
To desire
To live.
Morning at the Cabin
Outside on a chilly snowy morn.
The cold air dry.
The wind steady.
A young man opens the front door of his cabin and walks out.
He sits on the front porch warmly dressed in fur.
He places his cup of coffee down beside him.
Reaching in his coat pocket he pulls a pack of cigarettes.
He places his cigarette firmly between his lips and fished for a lighter.
He drew the lighter he had found to his cigarette and sparked a flame.
Uniting the fire with his ciagette he says nothing.
He slowly inhales the calming relaxing first drag,
pauses for a moment,
breathes.
All the anxieties and worries from the night before vanishes with the smoke.
He looks at the lake across the way
Watching the little ripples that form as indiviual flakes touch down on it's icy surface.
He heres a flock of geese migrating overhead.
He sees a chipmunck skuttering about,
Harvesting what he could find.
He hears the blue jays singing,
The only entertainment the young man receives through out the day.
As he takes the last drag,
He stops breifly,
Sighs
And tosses the butt away.
He got up and went inside to get his axe.
He walked out to the nearest forest with a smile on his face.
Another day begins.
Morning at the Cabin (re-write)
Outside on a chilly snowy morn.
The cold air dry.
The wind steady.
A young man opens the front door of his cabin and walks out.
He sits on the front porch warmly dressed in fur.
Reaching in his coat pocket he pulls a pack of cigarettes.
He places the cigarette firmly between his lips and fished for a lighter.
He drew the lighter he had found to his cigarette and sparked a flame.
Uniting the fire with his ciagette he says nothing.
He slowly inhales the calming relaxing first drag,
pauses for a moment, then breathes.
All the anxieties and worries from the night before vanishes with the smoke.
He looks at the lake across the way
Watching the little ripples that form as indiviual flakes touch down on it's icy surface.
He hears a flock of geese migrating overhead.
He sees a chipmunck skuttering about,
Harvesting what he could find.
He hears the blue jays singing,
The only entertainment the young man receives through out the day.
As he takes a last drag,
he stops breifly,
sighs
and tosses the butt away.
He got up and went inside.
Instantaeniously the comotions had stopped.
The birds stopped singing.
The chipmunk had hidden.
The flock fluttered.
The last sounds heard by no one roared througout the wilderness.
Followed...by a "thud".
Serenity...
No One Here
I look around and no one's to be found.
No one gives a shit,
So why should I.
Would anyone care?
If I were to die.
Would anyone watch?
If I were to fly.
If I were to past away,
What would I have to leave?
If I were gone,
Would anyone beleive?
If I was more trusting,
Would I be deceived?
If I was more honest,
Would I be conceived?
No one gives a shit,
'Cuase no one's here.
I thought this was going to be a fucking good year.
But no one's around,
No one to hear,
All the cries that I have ear'd.
All the lies that I have teared.
All the deaths that I have neared.
No one fucking cares,
No one here.
If i were to die, Would anyone care?
Certainly not anyone here.
Where Are You?
Alone on this god damn day I thought I would have not encountered.
I sit in my chair waiting...
Alone, cold, unwanted for any signs of a savoir.
My feelings hurted;
I hold my hands over my face sighing...as i muttered in disbeleif,
"they left me alone?..."
"Why are they leaving me the fuck alone!!" I shouted
As only echoes reply back stormy through the empty house.
Then "where are you?" I ask whispering in a low innocent voice.
"Where the hell are you when I need you most?"..."I thought you fuck'n cared."
My mistake to put all my trust into the world.
My hours of darkness,
Comforted only by a voice whom I've ne'er matched a face to.
Who'm never spoke of my name,
But seemed to have sung direct to me.
A dim light on a dark night.
I whispered the words...
Rolling out quitely and gently in unisence with a tear...
"Where are you..."
Untitled
Around you I feel something real inside.
A place in my heart where you confied.
And the feeling we hold that cant eve subside.
This pleasure I have that I will never hide.
All this passion I feel when I'm by your side.
All the love I see inside your eyes.
Makes me draw tears when I'm alone I cry.
Beacuase ever night you're not by my side.
Rain
Rain pours when the skies are grey.
They soak the gloom that I carry inside.
It amplifies the meloncoly mood I hold.
Such a natural accurance can change my thoughts.
Mother natures way of bringing me down.
Rain pours when my skies are grey.
Love
Love preserve to the ones who waits.
Love takes time, but it's never too late.
Love heals heart broken in time.
Love prove strong for yours and mine.
Love shead tears for the toughest to cry.
Love reveils the majestic force inside your eyes.
Love change a man's view on life.
Love may prove to make you my wife.
Love counteracts the the evil inside.
Love gives more than just wills and prides.
Love comes, love goes, love stays behind.
I'm just glad that love has made you mine.
Holds
She holds me in her heart.
She clings onto me tight and kisses me soft.
She embraces the love that I give to her.
She cuddles my worries and not make me rememeber.
She is who I hold in my heart.
She loves me too much and we shall never part.
Free Verse #2
Her eyes of glittering sea of emeralds.
Her hair of midnight skies cloudless.
Her lips of soft roses kissed with dew.
Her face of calm clouds of spring.
Her skin of thin satin pressed against mine.
Herself, a definition of beauty.
Oppertunities
Chance gives people oppertunities;
To meet, to share, to knowledge on a little better.
Given oppertunities by fate.
Meeting one another,
Sharing one's feeling;
Gaining knowledge of the world.
Oppertunities I took to get to know you.
Now I know nothing.
How Do I
How do I pay God back, when he has given me you.
How do I thank the emerald of eyes?
How do I show appreciation to the warmest of embrace?
How do I show your smile I adore?
What would I give if he'd give me more?
How do I price the brilliance of your face?
How do I react to the love in your touch?
How could I show that I love you?
How do I thank the purest of bliss?
I'll start with the sweetest of kiss.
I cannot begin to thank God for his gift.
A Short Story
A chapter closes on what was suppose to have been a novel,
But with present relevent status, closing a short story.
We wrote the pages with love and triumph.
Climaxed in suspense and unbearable decisions.
Everything leading up to the ending had me enganged in mystery and suspense.
My book has closed, but yours has just opened.
There's nothing more relaxing than tranquility to an open book.
Read onto what will become and stop the wondering;
Pondering or what WOULD have become.
The message was vague, but the details were there in complicated form.
Only the writer knew how they felt
And the reader was left pondering and guessing,
But in the end, the message was clear..
We wrote the pages in love and triumph to what was suppose to be a novel,
But hereafter, closing a short story.
Everlong
A silent song sings the emotion of everlonging.
It plays and replays in the back of my mind as I tries to gather my thoughts.
And in my thoughts are the words you have whispered to me;
Playing over and over like a broken record.
A message comes across the lyrics of the preformer.
Knowing its relevent to my scenrio,
I listen and remember..
Everything I have told and whispered into your ears.
And watching as your eyes glitter an ocean emeralds.
I repeats the lyrics in my mind.
In the back, far beyond my control you wait.
I sing his heart; you listened.
My love song sings the emotion of everlonging.
Nothing Last Forever
I seldom use the word forever.
The meaning in itself is still much too vague.
For each person the word's meaning is at a different degree.
Forever is not a common accurance in life..
Nothing last forever..
People grow old.
Machine wears out.
Hearts change..
Lives continue though nothing stays the same.
In the minds of those who's grown old,
Young hearts blossom..
Old hearts die.
Forever is a place far beyond the reach or realization;
Untouchable with the hands and minds of people.
Things that seem infinite eventually fade out..
And die..
Uncommon for the belief some people carry.
Hard as it may seem to believe,
Forever is a place neither tangable nor ponderable.
So when someone say forever,
Smile.
They tried.
Even still knowing that nothing last forever.
Companionship
Companionship..
The need to feel anothers heart feel for yours.
The idea of filling the void in your soul.
The longing of someone's comfort.
Support.
Nurture.
Care.
Properties others provide which you lack to yourself.
No one can make it on their own.
Then why am I expected to survive all alone?..
How?
How do I survive so many heartaches.
My cold abandoned heart has been left do die a shriveled.
How do I life after I felt my hear break.
As many times as I've been left pale and empty.
How do I carry on in this state.
With depression and anxiety carried with me throughout the day.
How do I manage after all that has been said.
Everything I've heard are everything you don't want to hear..
So why do you insist on saying everything you have to say.
Failure
another wasted night alone
i try to make things seem right in life, but failed miserably
its not much to ask for a more simple life
guess it is too much to ask for
every night that i dont utter a word
and every morning that i dont sleep is just another pain
another old memory, another moment in my life stolen
another wasted evening alone
i try and make myself happier, but still a failure
maybe it is too much to ask for
maybe another life is just too much to have
every night that i dont go out
and every morning i wake up alone is just another pain
another old memory, another second gone in my life
so maybe tonight is wasted
so maybe tomorrow's gone as well
and maybe things would be simple if i was never here
maybe things would be different
and maybe things would be better
fail and fail and fail again
maybe its not too much to ask, just to give up
Waking Up
just one more day i grow weaker
just another day i wake up wanting things to change
its just the morning calls me, but i want to stay in bed
and the things you left and the things i found are just too much to bare
old photos render me crippled
and memories are another bullet
and every breath is another wound
tonight i am forgotten and tomorrows just the same
as everyday i grow weaker
as everyday i wake up wanting things the same
but the morning still calls me though the bed is more inviting
the pain you left and the pain ive found are just too much to bare
and old photos are one more injury
memories is just another damage
and every breath feels like the last
one more day weaker
another day hoping for a change
another mourning in bed by the unbareable things you left and the things ive found
old photos are just too much
memories feels like suicide
and every breaths choking
feels like my last
Everybody Knows
everybody knew id be okay, i knew better
besides the life, besides my health, im nothing
i hope to hear youre doing fine
i hope to know youre moving on
i hope to hear youre living your life
i hope you know im missing you in mine
maybe someday the pain would recess
perhaps in time life will subside
if possible be here, hold me untill morning comes
cause everybody said itd be okay, but i knew better
if not for these lungs and beating heart id be dead
but i do hope to hear you doing fine
i hope to know youre moving on
i hope to hear youre living your life
i wish you know how much youre missed in mine
maybe tomorrow the pain would recess
perhaps in time life would subside
if possible be here, hold me untill forever ends
cause everyone here is wrong
i miss you so and i cant move on
Someday
its a little unfortunate to know that youre happier somewhere else
its not enough to hear of brand new things and brand new beginnings
though i always knew youd be well in another town
but i never expect it would come so fast
im still trying to get over us
but youre happier now and i swore i would be also
someday
youre so much better, youre so much better than you ever were
and you wish i could do the same
i promised you i would, i promise you id do better
but right now is not that
someday
i wish i could be with you, i wish i could make you happy somewhere else
its just too much to hear of brand new things and brand new beginnings
though i knew youd do well in another town
but i never expect it would be so fast
im still trying to get over us
but youre happier now and i swore i would also be
someday
youre so much better, youre so much better than you ever were
and you wish i could be the same
i promised you i would, i promise id be better
but right now is not that
someday
right now its not that someday
Lately
tonights not right because youre with somebody else
somebody close, someone i care most
someone who is not myself
and lately i wanna see you happy
lately youre giving me the gift of youre smile
lately youre the best thing i have around me
so i guess ill just keep it inside
tonight is like another silence because words just wont come out
whatever we are, we're more than just friends
but none of us know what we're about
and lately i wanna see you happy
lately youre giving me the gift of youre smile
lately youre the best thing i have around me
so i guess ill just keep it inside
tonights not right because youre with somebody else
someone different, someone whos my friend
someone who is not myself
lately youre just too happy
and lately its still growing
and lately its not about me
its better to keep you unknowing
lately..
its better being alone
No Bettr
its no better than yesterday
its no better than tomorrow and the next day and the next day
like a re-run in my head, like an outta place child for the first time
like a bad dream turn nightmare turn real
its how i feel
so better does the day get when im all on my own
and so better does tomorrow seem all alone
so better am i all alone
its no better than a worn life
its no better than tradjec and drama and horror
like a re-run in my head, like an outta place man for the first time
like a bad day turn night turn surreal
this is how i feel
so better does the day get when im all on my own
and so better does tomorrow seem all alone
so better am i all alone
no better are you to walk away
no better am i asking you to stay
no better are we letting go of us
its better to be safe than to be pretentious
yeah its better
better than being pretentious
