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By The Kroc
Wild Dekus:
The Dekus are strange creatures, plant-shaped, and seed-shooting. They
love pineapple upside-down pudding, and Pumpkin cakes. Their favourite
means of transport is pogo sticks, and they get drunk every day! They
hate ketchup!! They kill stones for fun!!! WAAAAGH!!!!
"Sorry, somebody has changed the real presenter, and put this mad
guy in his place" -said the Hyrule BBC presenter.
"And now for something, completely different" -said Conker.
"It's!...." -said Hyrule's TV presenter, Goron Stone.
....THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: PAN FLUTE OF TIME!! *crazy cartoon thingy*
So Link and Navi, our heroes, are heading out of Kokiri:
"...You nead them! You need attack and defence!" -said Navi.
"But I look stupid! -said Link, holding a Swiss army knife as a weapon,
and a rubbish bin lid as a shield -I'm not an idiot!"
"*wisper*You look like one...heh..." -said Navi.
"SHUT UP!!!" -went Link.
"hahaha! OK, OK, come on, let's get outta here, and go see Zelda!"
So off they went, but...
"Link!" -said Saria -Oh Link! wait!"
"Huh?" -went Link and Navi at the same time.
"Link, somebody said you're going away. Well, before you go, please
take this as a gift, so you remember me -said Saria,
giving Link a bagpipe "It's the Fairy Bagpipe, please don't lose
it, and you will remember me..."
"Oh, thanks, how nice of you! Look, here, take this -and Link gave
Saria a sock -It's the one I use to stomp on cow poo every Sunday, I bet
you'll remember me and never forget me now!"
"Yeah....thanks" -said Saria in disgust.
So off they went, Link and Navi, to Zelda's castle. When they arrived,
the first thing they saw was the market, where they stole some food. But
at the main entrance to the castle:
"DAAAD! OH, DARN, DAD!! WHERE ARE YOOU!!! OH, BLIMEY!!" -shouted
a little girl of Link's age like mad.
"Humm...who are you? Are you lost?" -said Link in the annoying
sweet voice he used to make girls fall in love with him.
"Huh? *falls in love with Link*" -goes the girl.
I told ya, guys!
"Oh...well...*she's shy*...my Dad, he's gone to give milk to the
royal family, and he hasn't come back! Oh...and, I'm called Maron...."
"Maron...what a nice name...*still with his sweet voice* I'm Link,
and this is my fairy, Navi..."
"Oh...Link, will you help me?" -said Maron.
"Of course I will..." -said Link being sweet.
"Oh! Thanks! Look, I'll give you this -Maron gave Link an Egg -wait
until night, and the egg will crack, so a hen will come out, okay?"
"Okay..." -Link again.
"STOP IT!! IT'S MAKING ME SICK!!!" -yelled Navi.
"Errr, OK, yeah, well, off we go! Ciao....Maron..." -said Link.
"Ciao...*eye blink*" -went Maron.
"@~#}?!!!!1^7*45$£3!!!!!! *this is a nasty word*" -yelled
Navi.
"Don't swear!" -went Link.
"Shut it! Why do you have to be so romantic with all the girls you
see? First Saria, then this Maron, and I'm sure you'll do the same with
Zelda..." -complained Navi.
"Yup" -said Link.
"Oh, you little...! Grrrrrr!!!" -Navi went, angrily.
"Heheheh!" -laughed Link.
So at night:
*Crack! Crack!*
"The egg! It's cracking!" -said Navi.
"Yes!"
"Cock-a-doodle-dooooo!" -shouted the hen.
"Was that a naughty word or is it just me?" -asked Link.
"I don't know..." -answered Navi.
So off they went to the castle. On their way, some guards told them to
go away, but Link just poked the Swiss army knife in their eyes and Bob's
your uncle!
"Look! A man sleeping with some milk at his side! It must be Maron's
father!" -said Navi!
"Yeah! -said Link and shoved the hen's beak through the man's ear
-there, and now... *punches the hen*"
"COCK-A-DOOOOODLE-DOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" -yelled the hen.
"WAAAAAAGH!!!" -shouted the man.
"You're always so nice to everyone, aren't you, and never, never
drastic, are you?" -said Navi sarcastically.
"Shut up" -went Link.
"Who are you guys?" -said Maron's father.
"I'm Link, and this is Navi. Your daughter, Maron, sent us."
"Oh! The milk! Thanks, guys!" -said Maron's father, and rushed
to the castle door.
"Well, now let's go see Zelda" -said Link.
"OK" -said Navi.
So off they went, and after passing some more guards (using the Swiss
army knife to get through), they reached Zelda's garden.
"Hi, are you Zelda the princess?" -said Link in his sickening
sweet voice again.
"Hum, Yeah!"
"I'm..." -said Link.
"I know, I know. You must be the boy in a green tunic from my dream!
Oh, great, the one that will protect the Triforce!" -said Zelda.
"You dreamed about me??? -said Link blushing -hehehe!...."
"....." -went Navi.
"Hum, it...it was a dream about the future!.....And it doesn't mean
we'll get married!!!" -said Zelda.
"OK...OK" -said Link.
And Zelda explained the Triforce story to Link and Navi.
"....so, you see, that's how it all came about..." -said Zelda.
"We see..." -went Link and Navi as one.
"That was a long and exhausting story, so I'll continue telling more
stuff in episode 3" -said Zelda.
"Mmmm -said Navi -so, uh, more Legend of Zelda: Pan ..uh.. Flute
of ..uh.. Time coming soon!"
"Ciao!" -said Link.
"Bye!" -said Zelda.
TO BE ..UH.. CONTINUED.......
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