Mommy, Jesus Spanked Me Real Hard

Jesus: (In a comforting tone)O son, why have you come to the house of Jesus?

The Boy: (Between sobs) Jesus, my Lord, I have been very bad. Very naughty.

Jesus: That is okay, my child. I love everyone. Even naughty little boys.

The Boy: I accidentally broke my mom's lamp and then I hid the pieces in the sugar bowl. My mommy was very angry at me.

Jesus: That is very bad, my son. But I can forgive you.

The Boy: I forgot to feed my kitty, yesterday. He was hungry and woke my parents up in the middle of the night. They were angry!

Jesus: Yes, my son, that is very bad. You should never awake your parents during a peaceful slumber.

The Boy: (More sobbing) That's not all, Jesus. I also pushed Sally in the playground today. She fell down and started crying.

Jesus: That, my son, is very, very bad. You will have to do something extra special to make up for that.

The Boy: Yes, (loud wailing) Father, I know. But that is not all.

Jesus: Oh, Jesus. What more could you have done?

The Boy: Don't take the name of Yourself in vain, Jesus.

Jesus: Shut up, boy. What else did you do?

The Boy: My sister took away my new GameBoy Advance. It made me very mad!

Jesus: But being angry is not a sin, my child.

The Boy: But then I killed her.

Jesus: Oi.

The Boy: What should I do, Jesus? What is my punishment?

Jesus: Since you have been such a naughty little boy, I think you get the special punishment. A spanking from Jesus.

The Boy: Thank you, Master.