S3's Random Ramble: Finally... a new MST is done. Thank God... Fortunately, this is the end of the season... sorta.

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[Cheesy theme music starts up.]
S3: Uh-oh.

In the not to distant future,
2006 AD.
There once was an avatar,
about the same as you or me.
Tortured by a teacher by the name of Pearl,
an evil gal who wants to rule the world.
She threw S3 into space,
and is intent on torturing him until he goes insane!

S3: Hey! That doesn’t rhyme!!!!

Pearl: I’ll send them crappy fanfics!
The worst I can find!

All: Lalala!

He’ll have to sit and read them all,
and I’ll monitor his mind.

All: Lalala!

Now, keep in mind he can’t control,
when the fics begin and end.

S3: I wish.

He’ll try to keep his sanity,
With the help of his made-up friends!

MSTer roll call:
S3! (I’m the freakin’ author here!)
Ryoga! (WHERE AM IIIIII?!?!?!)
Sakuraaaaa! (Ryu-sama!)

If you’re wondering what he likes and hates,
and other personal facts.

S3: WHAT?

Just keep in mind,
This is the internet!
You ain’t getting a hold of it!
Oh, the voyages of the P.M.S. Mblow0t5!

[Squeaky!]

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After Brandon Proposed to Ai, many preparations were made. Despite her fiancé’s opinion that they should take their time, Ai had the decorations, dress and so forth picked out in a week and a half. Even finding the wedding hall was no problem – there was one built-in to the P.M.S. Star LaBranche on deck 3. The only real problem, to be honest, was trying to make out a guest list. And that was taken care of as well. As a matter of fact… the wedding should be taking place soon. Let’s watch, shall we?

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Brandon looked down at his ‘tuxedo’ and sighed in disgust. Despite his many objections, Ai had chosen an anime theme. Of course, a lot of his friends could get out of the idea of dressing up by wearing their casual clothing… but he was stuck. Unable to really find any tuxes, his soon-to-be wife chose another outfit – that of Mobile Suit Zeta Gundam’s AEUG ace pilot Quattro Bageena – also known as Char Asnable.

As you can see, it’s not exactly the most regal outfit imaginable. Ai, however, had chosen this dress:

Of course, other than that, things were carrying on as normal. More or less.

However, just as the wedding was about to start, the MST alert had gone off. Oops. So, without any delay, S3, Ryoga, and Sakura (from the Street Fighter video games, who was a wedding guest), ran into the theater.

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Shinji ran down the halls of NERV HQ in Tokyo 3. Despite the organization’s best intentions, they were still attacked. When Shinji had received the phone call on his cell, he was even told who was attacking – The MST Syndicate.
“This is all S3’s fault,” he thought as he sprinted into the room that stored his Evangelion Unit 01, “If S3 hadn’t sent that stupid letter to them, this wouldn’t have happened.”
The ground beneath him shook violently – the MST Syndicate was shelling them now. Unfortunately, that wasn’t necessary – Shinji also noticed they had those 9 white production model Evangelion units as a backup.
Hopefully, they didn’t know about the idea of Third Impact.

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Door Sequence! Ready for the Wedding!

Door 7: A picture of the ship’s namesake! Mblow0t5!
Door 6: A blue leopard’s cage. The leopard is dressed in a white tuxedo (don’t ask), and is snacking on some wedding cake.

Sakura: /What is that?/
S3: That’s Mike, our secondary mascot. Luckily, he actually matches the ship’s name this time, being a blue leopard and all.
Ryoga: At least he’s back. I’m not sure how, but…

Door 5: My god! It’s massive piles of wedding catalogues! You sneak through, barely surviving.
Door 4: Wedding dress purchasing. Ugh…

Sakura: /Um…/ [Looks down at her outfit.]
S3: I think it look great!
Sakura: [Blushes and bows.] /Thank you, S3-san./

Door 3: Tuxedo Rental! Watch that inseam…

S3: Hey, Ryoga! You look just like Tuxedo Mask!
Sakura: [As Sailor Moon.] Tuxedo kamen!
Ryoga: Shut up…

Door 2: The Wedding March!

S3: Um… [Looks at Sakura.]
Sakura: [Blushes.]

Door 1: It’s the traditional airlock door. It opens and you enter.

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> World Warrior by. Josh Miller

S3: Crap. This guy placed down a period instead of a comma.
Sakura: [Swallows hard.]

>
>She looks down at her hand and grabs it.

All: WHO is this mystery person? WHO?!?!

>As she is rubbing her hand she takes off her glove and see's the symbol of Akuma on her hand.

Ryoga: Uh…

>
>Guile: What's wrong?
>
>Sakura: Nothing. You can let me down now. I'll be fine.

Sakura: [Slides back her glove to look at the back of her hand.] /But… I don’t have one./

>
>Guile sets her down

Ryoga: But, from WHAT?

>and starts to walk away. As Guile turns his back to her she looks up towards him and we see
>a tight shot of her eyes glow red like Ryu's did.

S3: [Sighs.]
Sakura: /What is it?/
S3: Well, it’s just that I LIKED a fic where you had a dark side, and fell in love with Ryu – and visa-versa. Unfortunately, this HORRIBLE fic is reminding me of that.
Sakura: /You… liked it?/
S3: Sure! It was called ‘Attack of the Dark Cherry Blossom.’ It was on Adultfanfiction.net, written by Trutenor – his link is on my linkpage. [The sound of the 4th wall crumbling is heard.]
Ryoga: That was SO a blatant plug…
Sakura: [Blushes and hugs S3 from behind.]
Ryoga: You have no shame.

>
>Ken has created a large burning alter for Ryu.

S3: Don’t you mean a FUNERAL PYRE?

>We can see an outline of Ryu's body in the wrapped cloth.

Ryoga: Ah-ha! [Puts on anime-style swirled glasses.] Then, that must NOT be Ryu’s TRUE body! Ryu isn’t dead, and is just hiding. After all, one would get tired of being repeatedly attacked by Bison, Sagat, Akuma, and even Gill. Then…
S3 & Sakura: [Hit Ryoga upside the head.]

>Ken stands there alone.
>
>Ken: You fought the good fight, buddy. I'm sorry it had to happen like this.

All: AAAHHHHHHHH!!!
Sakura: /KEN killed Ryu-sempai?/
Ryoga: WHAT?

>I'm going to miss you. We're all going to miss you. Nobody could give me the challenge or
>the friendship that you could.

All: Eww…

>
>Ken leans over and removes the headband from Ryu's head and ties his hair with it.

Ryoga: He looks like a guy who has a lot of accidents.
S3: What? You mean the fact that he always wears red?
Sakura: [Sighs.] /Ryu-sempai./

>
>Ken: I remember giving this to you so you can remember the fight between you and I in the >second round of the Alpha series.

S3: What…?
Ryoga: …the…?
Sakura: /…hell?/

>Now it is a reminder to myself of you.

S3: Heh, I can see him days from now… [As Ken.] Duh… what does this mean again?

>I will always remember you, Ryu. Take care, my friend. Someday, I'll see you again.

Ryoga: …in Otherworld or HFIL.
S3: [Tries to hit Ryoga. The martial artist, of course, dodges it and catches the fist with his tail.] DO NOT mention THAT dub of Dragon Ball Z.

>
>Ken punches his fist hard enough to ignite a flame to start the ritual.

Ryoga: He…punched himself.

>His body is enveloped in the flames as Ken watches.

Sakura: /I didn’t think that Ken-sama was suicidal./
S3: Y-yeah. He just lit himself on fire!
Ryoga: AND he’s watching himself burn!

>
>Ken: Yeah. That'll be good fight.

S3: [As Ryu.] Congratulations. A winner is you.
Sakura: /You like video games too?/
S3: [Shrugs.] Of course.
Ryoga: Oh, god. Just get a room already.

>
>Figure in the shadows: Ken, if only you knew...

S3: [As Figure in the Shadows.] …that I shot J.R. AND Mr. Burns.
Sakura: [Giggles slightly.]

>That Ryu...

Ryoga: [As Figure in the Shadows.] …is a porn addict.
Sakura: /NO ONE talks ill of Ryu-sempai!/ [Takes a fighting stance.] SHO-O-KEN! [She charges forward and hits Ryoga 5 times in a row, followed by a 2-hit uppercut.]
Ryoga: [Flies into the back of the theater.] CRAP!
S3: [Slight nosebleed.] Red… panties.
Sakura: [Blushes slightly, and taps S3 on the head.] /Pervert./
Ryoga: [Still flying into the back of the theater.] Oh, sure… you only TAP him…

>Shall arise....

Ryoga: [Stumbles back into his seat, glaring at Sakura.] Great… It’s one of these ‘Main character dies, and gets resurrected as a bad guy’ fics.
Sakura: [Smirks.] /It could be worse. It COULD be a lemon./
S3: [Chuckles. To Ryoga.] Funny you should mention porn. Didn’t you get Ranma to fall in love with you once, using that enchanted fishing pole?
Ryoga: [Blushes heavily.] I was AIMING FOR AKANE!
Sakura: [Points at Ryoga.] /I read that issue. You couldn’t get her to fall in love with you normally; you had to resort to OTHER methods? One would think Akane would HATE you after that…/
Ryoga: [Crying a few tears.] I hate you all… The wor-
S3 & Sakura: [In sync.] I know. I know. The world is a dark and lonely place…

>
>*** Two years later

Ryoga: Man… Ryu’s gonna be SO stinky after that long.
Sakura: [Shudders.] /He’d be a skeleton!/

>
>Page1: Overhead veiw of New York city, a figure is seen walking along main street.

All: [Begin humming the ‘Legend of Zelda’ theme.]

>
>D.J: Man This is gonna be da best turnament ever.

Sakura: /Dee Jay doesn’t talk like that…/
S3: Cue racial stereotype #31 – the accent.

>
>D.J walks along and walks into a deserted aly way, and is struck down my a myserious figure.

S3: [Grins.] Just because your spellchecker works, doesn’t always mean that it’s right.

>
>Fig: So your the jamacan champ!? Your pathetic

Ryoga: S3? Are you SURE this guy had a spellchecker?
S3: [Pauses.] Well…

>
>D.J: If ya had fought me man ta man youd...

Ryoga: This author types worse than Shampoo talks!
S3: Excuse me a second… I just thought of something… [Starts using his Hammerspace bracelet to look through his pockets.] New York Times… my laptop… my Apple-II… an Atari… a PS2… [Brief pause.] Ah! My sketch book! [Opens it up.] I need to work on things… [Turns it to a picture of Sakura.]
Sakura: [Blushes slightly.] /Wow. You DREW that?/
S3: [Turns to Sakura. Starts fixing the picture.] This is the only chance I might get to have the real deal to work with…
Sakura: [Giggles.]

>
>Fig: Be saying the same thing

All: ?
Ryoga: Who the HELL is fig?

>
>Figure lifts up D.J by the neck.

Sakura: /Well… DJ IS that weak…/

>
>Fig: I let you live only so that you may tell them, the other street fighters, about me...Demin.

S3: Fig talks like a bad essay.

>
>D.J: Who???
>
>Demin is nowhere to be seen, D.J is looking around confused.

All: [As DJ] Duh…

>
>In the mediterainian, Gill looks up as if some awsome new power has been awakend

Sakura: /I REALLY hope it’s not a Self-Insert…/

>
>In India, Daslim does the same.
>
>Oro, does likewise
>
>Daslim: No...

S3: [As ‘Daslim,’ whoever he is…] …my crap-sense is tingling…

>
In Los angels Ken has won another Turnament,

Ryoga: But…

>but he is trubled.

S3: …he’s a turtle?

>For two years ago today he killed Ryu.

All: O.O
S3: Wait…
Sakura: /…Ken-sama killed Ryu-sempai?/ [Begins crying. She looks up, and holds her fist to her chest.] /Ryu-sempai, I swear I will avenge you./
Ryoga: Um… Sakura? It’s just a fic.
Sakura: [Screams in anger, and her body is surrounded by a black aurora. Sakura drops to her knees. Her skin takes on a darker shade, as do her eyes. Her body seems to age from 18 to 21 as well. Not much, but it is noticeable. Sakura slowly stands up, laughing. Her eyes are glowing red. She is now...]
S3: Ryoga… she looks like…
Ryoga: Dark Sakura?
S3: …yeah…
Dark Sakura: /Ryu-Sempai… I will avenge your death at the hands of Baka-Ken./
S3: Ryoga?
Ryoga: Y-yes?
S3: Um… somehow I think people are going to blame us for unleashing Dark Sakura on the world and, more importantly, the Street Fighter universe.
Ryoga: God, I hope not… After all, people would sue us – either for property damage, or for hospital bills. But… at least her one, true desire isn’t to kill everyone or be the strongest.
Dark Sakura: [Takes out a picture of Ryu and sighs. It’s obvious that she’s in love with him.] /Ryu-sempai…/ [She licks her lips greedily.] /You will be mine./
S3 & Ryoga: [Scoot away from her.]

>Ken drives home to his wife.

Dark Sakura: [Cracks her knuckles.] /Not for long…/

>
>Chun lee is seen in China doing some paper work.

Dark Sakura: /Well, then… It seems that Chun-Li is a lazy ass… I can kill HER easily./ [Begins laughing similarly to Kodachi Kuno. For those of you who have not seen Ranma ½, think the most insane laugh in the universe. Now, double it in intensity and insanity.] /RYU will be mine!/

>relising that in the last hour 100 people have been murderd in Thailand

S3: You know, considering there was a Typhoon recently, I’m not gonna touch this one.
Duo: Nor am I.
Dark Sakura: /Why the HELL couldn’t SHE be one of them?!?/

>in the same exact spot that Ryu, Charlie and the others all died.

S3: Maybe we could get some more information… you know, like who these ‘others’ are?

>
>Chun lee: what the...
>
>Guile walks in looking like hell.

Ryoga: …countless souls floating about him, devil horns on his head….

>
>Guile: Chun lee you'll never belive this,

Ryoga: [As Guile.] Hair you can spray on!
S3: [As Guile.] M. Bison is back, and wants to fight me! The odd thing is, he looks like Raul Julia, and referred to me as ‘Jean-Claude…’

>ten people reported seeing a ghost with red glowing eyes in Thailand!

S3: Um… Lots of ghosts have red eyes.
Ryoga: How do you know?
S3: Well, when you have a friend who is well versed in US Colonial-era ghostly lore, AND have read a LOT of ghost-related books, you can’t help but pick up a few things.

Ryoga: Wait, that’s it?
Dark Sakura: /Feh… I’m not nedded after all…/ [Reverts to Sakura. Blinks.] /D-did I miss something, S3-san?/
S3: [Nervously.] Er… not really, Sakura-chan.
[The stage shakes beneath them.]
S3: What the hell?
Ryoga: Let’s go check! To the bridge!

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“I now pronounce you….”
Before the priest could finish his words, S3 burst through the main doors – panting heavily. He received glares from all the guests as he walked to the front of the room. Ai looked ready to kill him, as did Sanzo. S3, however, didn’t seem to care.
“Um…. Hey…” S3 said as he turned to the gathered family, anime and video game characters, “I’ve got good news and bad news.” He cleared his throat, then continued, “H… how many of you are the kind of evil villain that wanted to destroy the world before something happened that made you change?”
Several people raised their hands – the likes of Magus from Chrono Trigger and Bowser from the Mario games included. One or two that had just appeared at the wedding for little reason, like Sephiroth from Final Fantasy 7, looked about – a little more nervous than usual.
S3 addressed them directly, “Well… you’ve got your wish…”
Some of the more egotistical villains looked smug – the others confused.
“Ok,” S3 sighed, not bothering to finish that last thought, “now… how many guys or girls have seen the Evangelion movies?”
There was a brief chuckle, and almost everyone raised their arms, and very few went down when S3 then asked if they’d seen the End of Evangelion.
S3 cleared his throat, “W…well… according to our cameras… and reports from NERV…” he sighed heavily, looking a lot more worn out than usual. “Hey, Ryoga,” S3 said over the ship’s intercom, “Give me rocket #9.”
On the giant screen at the end of the room, an image of Earth appeared. It looked… different. Over Japan, there were the white of storm clouds – but also the black of what could be anything. And there was something unique over the area where Tokyo 3 existed – a large black sphere was floating. And swirling around that, a semi-visible cloud of red.
Almost EVERYONE whose hands were still raised fell; a few murmurs of swear words slowly erupted from the audience of this event.
S3 looked about them, “Yeah. I think you guys know what this means. If the image hasn’t sunk in yet, Third Impact has happened. We’re screwed.”
Despair started to sink in – people started to moan and groan where they sat. Only a few people kept their cool – mainly people like Deadpool from Marvel Comics, who believed that this was all a figment of someone’s imagination anyway.
For those readers that didn’t know what I’m going on about, it’s Armageddon. All peoples living will cease to be – their souls being sucked into that red cloud swirling about the black egg of Lilith – also known as NERV HQ.
S3 tried to speak again, but not many words came out. Realizing this, Sanzo came to his side, nuzzling close. S3 smiled softly, finally saying his words: “I don’t know if we’re immune or not, considering that we’re in orbit around the Earth, but… it could be worse. We could be dead right now.”
One of the assembled stood up, “Do we even stand a chance at survival?” It was Shiro Amada, of the Gundam series ‘The 08th MS Team.” His wife, Aina, stood at his side.
S3 looked at them all, “Our hope lies in Shinji… if he decides that Humanity is worth having around, we’ll live.”
Shiro laughed slightly, still trying to keep a sense of humor about himself, “Ok, great…”
S3 looked at Sanzo, “We probably don’t have much time left…”
At that moment, Gene Starwind, of Outlaw Star fame, spoke up – obviously happy. “T… they’ve given me a second series…” At that moment, he melted into a puddle of orange goo – known to the fans of Evangelion as LCL. Some of the people nearby recoiled in horror.
Brandon looked grim, “The second stage – Rei Ayanami as the harbinger of death…”
More people began to melt – often after experiencing their innermost desire… or something similar.
“A-akane? You DO love me? Ukyo too?” Ryoga gasped with joy over the intercom – only to be followed by a ‘slush’ sound.
Within a few minutes, most of the assembled fictional characters were dead – or just slush.
S3 looked lovingly at Sanzo, “ I do love you…” Before she could reply her affirmation, he kissed her deep – and they both slipped out of existence, leaving the same orange slushie remains as the others.
Within seconds, all who were left numbered 2: Brandon and Ai. They, too looked at each other lovingly. Brandon smiled softly, “You may now kiss the bride…” As they kissed their last, all faded out of existence – leaving only the silence of the dead.

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Credits:

Cast credits:
Ryoga Hibiki as Himself
Asuka Ikari as Herself
Shinji Ikari as Himself
Brandon Masters as Himself
Chau Maxwell as Herself
Duo Maxwell as Himself
S3 as Himself
Ai Seki as Herself

Guest stars:
Sakura Kasugano as Herself
EVERYONE who came about as themselves.

Original fic by:
Eric Derrikandjosh

Script by:
S3, the Demon Godling

Plot by:
S3, the Demon Godling

Co-Producers:
Brandon Masters and Ryoga Hibiki

Director:
Hideki Anno

Stunts:
All stunts are done by the actors themselves.

Set Design:
Gene Roddenberry and Joel Robinson

Cameraman:
Gene Starwind

Best Boy:
Fuzzy Skinner

Cool music listened to while writing by:
Mblow0t5

Special thanks to:
-The creators of MST3K
-The authors of the first amendment
-Mblow0t5

Copyright:
-P.M.S. Mblow0t5, copyright 2003, all rights to original things reserved to S3 Industries’ CEO S3, the Demon Godling and President Brandon Masters.
-Mblow0t5 owns herself, and I thank her for letting me use her name here.

Stinger Clip:
“Ken punches his fist hard enough to ignite a flame to start the ritual. His body is enveloped in the flames as Ken watches.”